fix your hearts or die

she/her | multifandom | 23

[doctorcurdlejr]

I can be normal about things. Don't look at my blog.

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

you’re a teenager in gubrick province on your first night out your older friends are taking you to their favorite underground club out in an old wheat field in the middle of nowhere the whole place is totally full of cigarette smoke and people in old school draag military gear. someone offers you “real MOAT aggro pills” to help you get freaky in the pit but you’re nervous so you turn them down and your friends say it’s probably cut with hella chaff anyways. the set starts and everyone gets quiet as fuck but you have no idea who’s supposed to be playing tonight so you just try to get a good spot at the back where you can see. your first thought when the headliner comes out is she’s a little old to be in a place like this. your second thought is she looks kind of like someone you used to see on tv when you were a kid. your third thought is she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. someone lights her cig for her and then she gets her gear booted up and the most insane real-sounding screaming you’ve ever heard fills the warehouse and she starts screaming over top of it and you realize she and the track sound exactly the same right before the synths kick in. the MCR ended up busting the place that night and burned it down and thank the wheat everyone got out ok but it was still the greatest night of your life

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

there’s one comment on the yt video insisting they know someone who knows someone who lives in gubrick and saw the headliner for that show get straight up gutted when they tried to interfere with a MOAT arrest and then walk it off like nothing happened but it has zero likes and one comment calling the story fake and gay

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

Does mev still have the Gentleman? Or do they maybe find a different puppet they keep around.. like the guy whos place they crash at tells them to at least don't leave it out in the open, that thing is creepy af but they claim to need it for moral support or sth and bring it to some shows

oughhh ok no they definitely don’t have the original gentleman they had to leave Everything to get out of the MOAT. but they definitely collect dolls/figurines on a kind of Gentleman Hunt (the back of their car is full of them) and I do really like the idea of them having like a surrogate gentleman that they carry around while they’re still finding their footing like maybe another gentleman’s castle branded toy they find in the city…the asshole they crash with first definitely would tell them to hide or get rid of it but I think as time goes on they find people who are more accepting of it. they don’t have any of their toys Out while they perform (and they usually don’t carry them around unless they’re having a bad day) but they do definitely have their favorite(s) stashed under the table at every set for moral support

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

they can tell if a toy is an acceptable gentleman surrogate because it’ll talk to them #psychosis

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

darkwave dj mev IS aware they are gerard way from new jersey btw they tried to defect to the united states as soon as they got their bearings post-escape but the embassy rejected them and they had to go into hiding

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

usually under no circumstances would you “have to hand it to the united states embassy” but in this case gerard way from new jersey was declared dead over 200 years ago so.

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

@setulose ok well so you’ve said the quiet part out loud……

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

adding this too because genuinely the realest shit ever

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

no draagwave mev is kind of making me crazy bc normal mev has a kind of jovial childishness to them that’s more or less a survival mechanism and when they’re finally out and free they don’t need to do that anymore so whats left is the shell of gerard way from new jersey who’s jaded and a big recluse and the only way they can even begin to think about maybe processing what happened is to stare it in the face over and over again. so when they scream along with the recording of themselves they’re not even reliving any of it yet they’re just hoping magical realism still has a hold in their life and that somehow, someway baby MEV can hear this version of themself screaming back….

god. god. they definitely have a bit of a silly streak still, it kind of bubbles out of them when they can’t really control it. like they Do Bits even during the sets sometimes like dressing up as Her - but it’s really just for their own benefit and no one else’s. like nobody really Gets their jokes because they’re all about the band or about the MOAT or inside jokes that fucking sylvia came up with that it makes them sick to still find funny but they do. and they’re not really sure what to do about it so making music isn’t just about finding the easiest and most cathartic way to communicate themself to others but also really the only way they can hold a conversation between all their disparate parts. and maybe to some people the art they make to that end feels unsettling and scary but genuinely they’re having the time of their fucking life

[theaterard]

i want to give draagwave mev a hug but i’m certain they would hate it and look at me like this if i asked

and then say something harrowing like “the last time i was hugged they gutted me like a fish and i died smiling.” and i’m not 100% sure if it’s real and neither are they

[buildanaltarwhereitswells]

draagwave dj smoking the lephka slim she bummed from me: yknow when you were born i had already died and come back over 100 times, isn't that something?

me, so drunk i can't stand up straight: can yuo put that out on me

[ribelleribelle]

very very silly sketch page of @gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain 's draagwave dj mev that has been living in my brain for the last 24 hours (i'll draw more of her soon i think)

[theaterard]

is that rosin like for a bow

[theaterard]

like for a guitar bow?

[theaterard]

hmmm

[romancechimique]

i only have dark rosin rn but here's what a broken chunk looks like held up in front of a bright light

so yeah good catch 👀

[raytoroapologist]

take my hand. let's report every single sex ai chat ad on the dash together

[raytoroapologist]

to be clear i love sex and I love images of shirtless men. however i hate genai and i hate how explicit their advertising is bc there are still impressionable young people on here and it can't be good for them to see a mafia boss abusing his catgirl gf and not letting her say no framed as romance. also im seeing an ad literally once every 3 posts on mobile and it makes me want to kill.

[parkayquarts]

grinning gleefully at brett getting his shit rocked while simultaneously shaking my head to show I disapprove an fbi agents collaborating with a gang members who are also former cops to beat a teenagers senseless while in their custody

[dykerard]

Throwing my pervert hat into the draagwave ring. If sylvia is now a paid dominatrix doing reconditioning roleplay. I think the former MEV occasionally stops by for a visit and she doesn't charge them a penny

[egonkula]

Okay now that they’re sisters, I’ve seen a lot of people saying “oh they definitely fight over clothes at home!” and that shows me that you’ve NEVER HAD AN EVIL SISTER. me, tumblr user egonkula, has HAD! an evil. Just Evil Sister. And my Evil Sister was so horrible that I worshiped the ground she walked on. The fights Sylvia and Mary Ann are getting into are 100x more psychologically tortuous and insane than any fight over a sweater ever could be. In fact I don’t think many people would even be able to recognize them as Fights. Cause at the end of the day, the most wretched part of having an Evil Sister is that it never crosses your mind that she could be doing you harm. No of course you see how cruel she is to others, but to you? No she couldn’t be cruel to you. She’s not cruel, she’s fair.

[repeatradiation]

fishmarket draagwave mev you are so precious to me…

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

Mostly nonverbal draagwave 52 first ever show clutching a soda like a lifeline playing their own screams looking at the rave crowd lucidly like 🙂🙁🙂 ok maybe i still got it but this time for me and not them

HELPPP ok this is making me realize I don’t know yet how they actually get into doing sets. I wonder if it’s kind of a wesley willis situation where the first people to give them a platform were sort of doing it as a joke/lolcow thing but then they were genuinely adopted by the scene over time

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

they start out hanging around the markets when they first escape because it’s where people are most likely to give them food/money as they slowly get on their feet. they start hearing about the scandal of frank and mikey’s defection (and their own escape) and the fallout/publication of MOAT tapes on people’s radios around town and almost compulsively start purchasing or recording the audios wherever they can just to have because like. then it was Real in a way they can literally own.

around this time they also start hanging out with the old people who also spend the entire day just dicking around the center of town and eventually start getting odd jobs mostly butchering fish and all the money they have that doesn’t go to food or cigarettes goes to the audios and a cheap tape player (they also start buying up old gentleman’s castle recordings, draag propaganda tapes, anything that tickles them.) they start doing the co-screaming thing for the same reason, it feels like reclaiming, and eventually they become known around town for it. they’re loud and scary but harmless is how most people see it.

obviously being a beautiful and deeply troubled person makes you alt douche candy so one night some guys offer that they can crash at the guys’ place if they do some screams with their band that night (because having the local deviant onstage with them would seriously up their street cred) and honestly something about being onstage again stirs them and they say yeah fuck it. they can always just kill the guys if they try anything.

later that night after the show the guy they’re staying with has a really basic mixing setup and notices g eyeing it and is like you can fuck with that if you want as long as you don’t wake my mom up. and then for a while they do screams with this guy’s band once every few weeks (because damn they’re really good at it, where’d you learn to scream like that?) and then futz with his setup all night. and eventually they start buying the albums from the bands they’re playing with and the guy thinks it’s insane that this weird old fuck he picked up off the street is ripping shit up in his mom’s basement so he starts inviting people over to watch and well. so it goes

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

yes they mix with cassettes it’s what they have and they like doing things the hard way

[transjudas]

She’s dead… wrapped in plastic. (x)