me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off
we're not kids anymore.
trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin
noise dept.

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I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty
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romaâ
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

ellievsbear
wallacepolsom

@theartofmadeline

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styofa doing anything
Today's Document

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Keni
seen from Germany
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@bunshower
me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off
your honor my client is guilty can i get another one
the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole
Me: I think we should adopt another kid
Wife: no
Me: why?
Wife: because by 'kid' you mean 'lizard' and we already have 50
Me: *reaching into pocket* actually... 51.
Kirby kirby kirby
Call me burger the. the way I court her... pound her
I hate job interviewing "why are you interested in this job" I'm literally not? I do not want to do any of this.
Long-tailed weasel by loren chipman || CC BY-NC 2.0
i feel like a lot of people write off âstretchy superheroesâ as kind of a lame power set and like sure but They can such there own cock
whenever I vote in a poll and choose the most popular option I am a champion and when I pick the least popular option I am part of the revolutionary underdog class fighting against the posers
every day is like ââ 20 insane rotating emotions and thoughtsââ and whatever one I end up feeling when I go to bed is the one I somehow believe is how Iâve always felt
oh and btw when horseshoe crabs are asleep theyre called honkshoo crabs
the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.
That's called being an adult
no itâs called being the bravest girl on planet earth
man listening to a "song" on his "headphones" and enjoying a flavored handheld "snack": i am waiting for a "walk signal" to cross the "street"
stegosaurus in that same spot 150 million years ago: leafs in front of me
proud dad đĽ˛
I love the concept of exile. Like dude just get out