probably a hufflepuff

Merina | she/her | bi | ENFP | Sanguine | Pisces | |-/ @bloomshower is where i write

[fairycosmos]

me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off

[charl0ttan]

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

[sleepdeprivedsurgeon]

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

[officialsolluxcaptor]

Me: I think we should adopt another kid

Wife: no

Me: why?

Wife: because by 'kid' you mean 'lizard' and we already have 50

Me: *reaching into pocket* actually... 51.

[enigmaticspy]

Kirby kirby kirby

[jofiah]

Call me burger the. the way I court her... pound her

[forxstboyfriend-deactivated2025]

I hate job interviewing "why are you interested in this job" I'm literally not? I do not want to do any of this.

[how2skinatiger]

Long-tailed weasel by loren chipman || CC BY-NC 2.0

[blackpyrefly]

i feel like a lot of people write off “stretchy superheroes” as kind of a lame power set and like sure but They can such there own cock

[communistkenobi]

whenever I vote in a poll and choose the most popular option I am a champion and when I pick the least popular option I am part of the revolutionary underdog class fighting against the posers

[deathdaydreamm]

every day is like —— 20 insane rotating emotions and thoughts—— and whatever one I end up feeling when I go to bed is the one I somehow believe is how I’ve always felt

[noticemedeku]

[musteligae]

oh and btw when horseshoe crabs are asleep theyre called honkshoo crabs

[fairycosmos]

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

[touching-living-breathing]

That's called being an adult

[fairycosmos]

no it’s called being the bravest girl on planet earth

[memorycycle]

man listening to a "song" on his "headphones" and enjoying a flavored handheld "snack": i am waiting for a "walk signal" to cross the "street"

stegosaurus in that same spot 150 million years ago: leafs in front of me

[esprei]

proud dad 🥲

[glumby]

I love the concept of exile. Like dude just get out