I wish you had stayed.

I'm 25, live in England, recently quit my job, am in the middle of quarter life crisis and don't know what the bloody hell is going on or what I'm doing with my life. I also write sometimes. Hop aboard the crazy train and join me won't you?

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

i need to marry someone who loves driving, everywhere we go they will get a thrill from driving and i will get a thrill from not having to drive, what a dream

[burnatthehorizon]

Took me a while to figure out they were talking about a halloween decoration

Sister: I assume there’s a body still buried in the back garden?

Mum: Yeah I’ve moved it, it’s now outside the back door.

[burnatthehorizon]

My favourite part of going food shopping with my dad for the first time ever (he’s 54 and never been food shopping) was when we reached the banana section. We needed 5 and they were all bunches of 6. Obviously I picked up a bunch and just ripped off one banana and put the bunch in the trolley and the single banana back on the shelf and turned back to my dad to find a look of PURE HORROR on his face as he quickly rushed up to me and said “Can you do that?!” “Uh yeah that’s what people do...” And after a thoughtful moment he looked sadly back at that lone banana on the shelf and said “But....what will happen to that banana now?” And I’ve never seen a grown man show such genuine concern over the wellbeing of a banana before.

[burnatthehorizon]

Society: DONT HAVE SEX. IF YOU DO THE SEX THEN TH DEATH WILL GET YOU. ABSTINENCE. NEVER THE PPEEPEES TOUCHING.

Asexual: I don't like sex.

Society: WHAT THE FuCK IS WROnG WITH YOU??? """"DONT LIKE SEX"""???? HOW?? SEX IS A BASIC HUMAN NEED. EVERYONE DOES THE SEX.

[lejonlouise-deactivated20181204]

the smell of rain against hot asphalt on a warm summer day

[fincherfogg]

Hello! This lil cherry wants to go on an adventure, where should i send him?

[cpwiser10]

He might like a camping trip!

[fincherfogg]

What a great idea!

Unfortunately people dont make tiny tents for cherries, but at least the fire kept him warm!

where should cherry go next?

[shmepard]

he could go to space & meet a tiny fruit alien :3

[fincherfogg]

That sounds wonderful!

Look at him go!

Where should we send Cherry next?

[fincherfogg]

Of course!

Where should cherry go next?

[fincherfogg]

Sounds like fun!

the mermaids didnt seem to want to play but Cherry still had a good time seeing all those fish!

[fincherfogg]

aww looks like the lil guy’s all tuckered out from his adventure today, thank you for helping him, he had a great time!

[coocoo-for-kokoro]

I’m so happy this post didn’t turn into something violent or gross. I love cherry <3

[burnatthehorizon]

All I can hear from my parent’s room is my mum screeching ‘we can’t sleep all the way up there!!’ followed by my mum and dad coming out of their room carrying a mattress past my doorway and then another one and then another one. My dad thought it would be cool to pile up every mattress we own and sleep on it. He’s 54.

[gladlyboastingmyweaknesses-deac]

You can’t spend your whole life holding the door open for people and then being angry they didn’t thank you. Nobody asked you to hold the fucking door.

Orange is the New Black.  (via warningbearcountry)

[thethespacecoyote]

I found these off brand cereals and they all sound like weird euphemisms for gay people

[jackaloper]

*straight person voice* is he a…. y’know,.. marshmallow matey

[titanic-honor-and-glory]

Titanic: Honor and Glory Research Trip, Tom and Matt in the UK, Day… whatever -  Filmed AND Edited inside Olympic’s First Class Lounge at the White Swan Hotel in Alnwick, England. We don’t claim Tom to be a good pianist; we just wanted to share the experience.

Visit Titanic: Honor and Glory at our Official Website, or onTumblr,Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter

[punkrockgrantaire]

One day I’m gonna say “fight me!” and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me

[asian]

I watched the Shia labeouf’s motivational video last night and felt really inspired. So I went out and bought a Costco bear that I’ve always wanted Don’t let dreams be dreams.

[qingthings-deactivated20170209]

It’s midterms week and what a week it has been! Cheering myself up by gluing some of the leaves I picked with the bf in upstate NY. I’m also very happy with my googly eye purchase. That $h!t is therapeutic ;p #👀 #tgif #googlyeyetherapy #fallleaves #pressedleaves #animism

[burnatthehorizon]

Sticking googly eyes on things ALWAYS makes me feel better - I do so enjoy these leaves’ teeny little smiles too...

[2-fast-2-curious]

The Story of Romeo and Juliet Condensed Into a Single GIF

[theinturnetexplorer]

Psychological tricks to make people do what you want.

[burnatthehorizon]

Last night my dad went camping for the first time. This morning we got a text from him saying ‘I’ve just cooked my breakfast in washing up liquid’ I don’t think he’s cut out for this camping thing.

[zenpencils]

Steve Jobs ‘Your time is limited’