Wii is the best console @burningbutter - Tumblr Blog

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

xxxdragonfucker69xxx

ivy-michaels

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

gender-luster

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

hugintheraven

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

cushfuddled

I read this aloud to my roommate and he thought I was having a stroke

depsidase

swagophile

me in a heist movie scenario: [right about to execute the big plan] i hope you guys kbow if this plan goes south i'm killing myself

driver: what

me: alright team. we kbow our roles. lets get to it

demolitions expert: wait can we go back to that thing earlier

grifter: yeah what was that about

me: charlie, i want you to take point. you're the most important for the early phase so you gotta make sure to nail this. remember we only have a limited time to pull this off, so the sooner the better

safecracker: youre not really gonna kill yourself if we fuck this up right

me: [putting on my badass sunglasses as smooth bossa nova music plays] i'm definitely going to kill myself if we get this wrong

poststodeltarunedialogue

[id: the above post, minus dialogue tags and actions, turned into Deltarune dialogue boxes depicting a conversation between Yellow, Ralsei, Susie, Seth, and Blue, in that order]

unyieldingsilence

‎

hell-propaganda

All ten of my followers are actually hostages I have tied up in an abandoned grain silo & am monologuing to

hell-propaganda

thank you hostage #3

galileosballs

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

bumblebeebats

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

shilohtx

pitter patter putter patter *you look down and see this*

mrsketchy

@clawfootboy

I trust him

i-survived-that

Okay but this is exactly what I love.

The above image is a historical artifact. Colima dog. It dates back to circa 100 BCE-300 CE. (x)

And, around two thousand years later it was originally shaped with care, painted with love, and adored… someone draws it. Draws it using a new technological device that allows modern people to shape things with care, paint with love, and even move them -on a screen, glowing.

And the said person decides to share it with the world. The whole world adores it.

I love the connection between past and today. We were humans back then, and we are still the same.

Cute dog :)