In Pursuit Of Comfortable Bras

This blog may eventually contain discussion about bra fitting, reviews of specific bras, and general chatter about the experience of being a human with breasts.

[busty-ramblings]

Welcome to my bra blog!

My name is Ellis, pronouns they/them. (My main mishmash blog is Enby-Dressmaker.) I'm a nonbinary femme who used to hate wearing bras, and that was partially a gender thing, but a lot of it was because I'd never experienced wearing a bra that fit well. So I just assumed that bras were universally uncomfortable and required constant adjusting. In summer of 2022, after having not worn a bra at all in 6 years, I was working on a costume that I felt would work better with a bra, and that took me down a rabbit hole towards getting properly fitted for the first time. Once I got a bra that fit, I was shocked by the difference in comfort compared to what I remembered wearing before.

Context for bra reviews and personal stories:

I currently wear around a uk size 34HH (I arrived at this size by measuring with the A Bra That Fits calculator, then fine-tuning by trial and error.)

I would describe my breast shape as very close-set, slightly center full, and somewhat projected.

I am quite "squishy" around the ribs for my size and prefer a tighter band.

I have sensory issues which make me more particular about fabric textures and band firmness than some other folks.

My general philosophies:

Neither bodies nor clothes have gender outside of how their owners identify. People of any gender can have breasts and people of any gender can wear bras.

There’s nothing inherently sexual about having a body or wearing clothes. I have no reason to question anyone's motives for being here as long as you’re respectful, but if you just want to gawk at boobs, my posts probably won't be very interesting.

Everyone, regardless of body size or shape, deserves fitting, functional, and comfortable clothes. If your clothes (including bras) don't seem to fit right, aren't comfortable, or aren't serving the functions you need them to, your clothes are the problem, not your body. People purposefully change their bodies (weight loss/gain, breast reduction/augmentation surgery, etc.) for a variety of reasons, and if that's something you want to do, your body is yours, you should do with it whatever makes you comfortable and happy. But, no one should feel pressured to change their body just to make clothes fit, and no one should feel like they shouldn't wear clothes that they feel comfortable in now just because they expect or are planning for changes to their body in the future.

No one should feel like they have to wear a bra if they don’t want to. If you want to wear a bra, you deserve one that feels comfortable and makes you happy. If NOT wearing a bra is what makes you comfortable and happy, that is equally valid.

The “rules” of bra fitting are not prescriptive. They can be useful in troubleshooting when something doesn’t seem right, but your subjective experience is most important. If your bra feels comfortable and serves the functions you want it to, it’s the right bra for you.

I am not a professional bra fitter nor any other kind of Official Expert™, just an autistic person with a special interest. I enjoy sharing general ideas that I've learned, but can't speak to anyone's specific experience but my own.

[busty-ramblings]

Chain Bra Shop Profile Project

I'm embarking on a project to examine the offerings and fitting services of various chain stores that sell bras. The questions I will aim to gather information on are:

What brands are available in-store?

What is the average price point of bras being sold?

What is the construction quality of bras being sold?

What variety of styles are available in-store?

What size range is available in-store?

Do they do fittings? If so, how do they measure and what size to they try to sell me?

When getting fitted, I will offer no suggestions of what size I might be and will also try not to give any indication that I have any prior knowledge about bra fitting.

If a particular chain has more than one location within reasonable driving distance, I will attempt to visit more than one location before making my post about it.

As I add posts to this series, I will update this post with links to them all. Stay tuned!

[busty-ramblings]

Projection

Projection is how much your breasts stick out from your body in comparison to the size of the root (the footprint of where they're attached to your rib cage).

While actual bras often have less extreme shapes, the common metaphor is that projected bra cups are shaped like a wine glass and shallow bra cups are shaped more like a soup bowl or pasta dish.

How do you know what shape of bra you need? I've heard some people say that having a large difference between your standing and leaning bust measurement means your breasts are more projected, however, the accuracy of this depends on your tissue firmness. The best way to know for sure is to try some bras and see how they fit.

[0xeyedaisy]

tumblr stop recommending me unrebloggable posts. Do you know how sad I got cuz I realized I couldn't reblog this

[3liza]

Bra Fitting Graphics

 

[3liza]

fyi

[3liza]

this post has been up for five hours and has two notes. i think tumblr shitcanned it because it has pictures of women wearing bras on it. very cool. no censorship message, just vanishing it

[boxingcleverrr]

AHHHHHH someone put all the info from the now-extremely-hard-to-read, 10+ year old bra post into one nice infograph! THAT POST WAS MY BOOB BIBLE. Yay Boob New Testament!

[official-boob-posts]

official boob post

[busty-ramblings]

Not sure I agree with the claim that hooks are always on the right and eyes are always on the left. Maybe I've just owned one or two weirdly constructed bras but I'm sure I've seen it both ways. Lots of great information otherwise, though.

[busty-ramblings]

Reasons your bra size may change other than puberty

Fluctuations in weight. Breasts are partially made of fat, so if you gain or lose weight, that may affect your breast size, as well as the amount of fat around your rib cage (meaning that you may also need a different band size)

Age. Your body isn't necessarily finished maturing when you stop growing in height. It's very common for people with breasts to "fill out" a bit more during their late teens or 20s. I've heard some folks in bra fitting discussions call it "second puberty". Additionally, breast tissue tends to become softer as you age, which may mean needing more compression in order to achieve a smooth, rounded shape.

Hormone changes. This can include fluctuations throughout the month if you have a menstrual cycle, as well as the effects of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and some medications (HRT, hormonal birth control, etc.)

Habitual bra wearing. There’s debate about whether the fit of your bra (or the choice to wear one at all) may affect your body in ways that could influence how your bras fit in the future. (Anecdotally, some folks say it's a thing. As far as I’m aware, there's not much hard data on the subject and the research that does exist is mixed). However, it can definitely be said that what subjectively feels comfortable depends on what you're used to. If you've been wearing a band that was several sizes too large (or no bra at all), a band size that corresponds to your measurements may feel very tight at first. Some people in this situation choose to size down incrementally as they get more used to wearing a tighter band.

[busty-ramblings]

I used this blog to give unsolicited advice a few times when I first started it and I apologize for that

I knew at the time that’s what I was doing (I even acknowledged that in the posts) and I knew it would be rude if I did the same thing in person, but I was in the mindset of “It’s the internet. People post things that other people don’t read all the time. If the person whose post I’m responding to isn’t interested, they don’t have to read it.” That’s not how social media works. If I respond to someone else’s post, I am speaking to that person, so giving unsolicited advice that way is just as rude as it would be in a face to face conversation.

I will likely read lots more vent posts in the future that make me think “hey, I think I know the answer to your problem!” but in the future I will aim to use that as inspiration for my own posts that speak generally about whatever point I want to make, rather than telling random strangers that they hate their bras because they don’t fit right.

[dailymanners]

Don't give unsolicited advice. When in doubt, ask first if they want your advice before giving it.

Although you may have good intentions, giving unsolicited advice can come off as patronizing. Some see it as an insult to their own intelligence or capabilities if they're given advice without even asking for it.

Which isn't to say it's always an insult to someone's intelligence or capabilities to be given advice, but when giving completely unsolicited advice for many there can be a certain insinuation that this person needed help and couldn't have come to a conclusion or handled the situation without your help, despite the fact that they're not asking for help.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @indecisivepsyche

why did i hear that in a TF2 spy voice

text: Don't worry, gentlemen. this boob is secured

[official-boob-posts]

i am having a boob moment and idk where else to share this but yall. fellow boob havers. if you wear bras, i highly recommend checking your measurements every once in a while

i was so confident i was a C, but i just remeasured for funsies last night and found out all my bras are about 4 sizes too small. ive been walking around with G cup honkers for years and i didnt even notice!!!

I honestly need to check mine

I haven’t done so since I was like 12 and I was a 42 DD then

[busty-ramblings]

Boobs are Jello

When discussing breast shapes, I find it helpful to visualize breast tissue as being like Jello.

Jello is squishy and can somewhat be forced into different shapes once molded, but if the shape is too different from its original mold, it won't be able to take that shape without breaking apart.

Similarly, breast tissue is able to be forced into a specific shape by a bra or other clothing but it will resist being compressed beyond a certain point (and if you try to compress it further, it will feel uncomfortable or just won't stay in that shape).

This is why bras can alter how your breasts look (currently, most bras aim to create a rounded shape, but there are variations within that and different silhouettes have been popular in different locations and eras), but a good fit still requires a shape of bra that is compatible with your breast shape.

[busty-ramblings]

What if I'm in between sizes?

If you're in between band sizes, you could buy the larger size and wear it on the second hooks rather than the loosest, or you could buy the smaller band size and wear it with a band extender at first. I've heard of people doing both, but the latter is more commonly recommended since this gives you more room to tighten the band as it stretches out over time, allowing the bra to last longer.

If you seem to be in between cup sizes, this may actually be due to asymmetry or a shape mismatch. The difference between one cup size and the next is typically small enough that a style that matches your shape well may not have any visible fit issues if it's only one cup size off. It's just that the right size will feel more comfortable.

If you have a shape mismatch, a smaller size may have not enough space in one area of the cup and a larger size may have extra space in a different area. In that case, you’ll want to try some different styles to find one that works better for your shape. (More posts on the way about breast shapes and how to know what cuts are likelier to fit your body)

If asymmetry is the issue, a smaller size may dig in or have breast tissue spilling out of one side, and sizing up results in wrinkling or gapping on the other side. The most common advice for this is to fit your larger breast and add padding to fill out extra space on the smaller side if needed. Also, some cuts and materials are more forgiving than others, so if one particular bra you're trying is giving you trouble, you may want to try a different style.

[dutchster]

i’m guessing bra stands for “boob restraint apparatus”

[hernameiswhat]

it actually stands for “battle ready armour”

[beetrans]

actually it’s short for brassiere from a french word meaning child’s vest

[official-boob-posts]

official boob post

[maliceinchainz]

Baby trans girls: you do not have "like, A cup boobies." Get some measuring tape. Learn your bust and band size. Do not eyeball this. Even if you dont want to wear bras, knowing your measurements will make shopping easier. Get your hip, waist, and butt while you're at it.

Most of all though, this will teach you to be less of a stranger to your body. Nobody really teaches you this. But you have a woman's body now. Treat it like one, like it is yours. You can be an outside observer to yourself through an objectifying gaze, or you can learn that your cup size is probably larger than you thought.

Cup size is not based on looks. It is based on surface area. Even cis women make this mistake and wear uncomfortable bras for years. On my second year of E, i took measurements again and was shocked to find I was a C cup despite what i thought was little visible difference in size; growth in other areas really played tricks on my eyes.

And while we are at this, if learning your measurements seems scary because you think it will make shopping scarier or that you'll never find something that could fit you; whatever hanghup you have, there are cis women facing it too. Maybe you'll never wear the frilly lingerie store stuff, but neither will an awful lot of women in general. Measurements in hand, you can find a lot of stores and resources catering to all shapes and sizes.

All this said, the societal standard that you "need" to wear one for decency is prudish bullshit. Do what will be most comfortable for you, but dont reject the notion of a bra as a fashion accessory; certain types look better with certain kinds of tops. Some tops are a tough sell without one. And many bralettes alone can make an incredible top for a layered warm weather outfit.

May this post reach someone who needed to hear it ✨️💚✨️

[roguebombshell]

The subreddit A Bra That Fits is also very welcoming to trans women (and trans men! y'all have unique needs too!) and knowledgeable about specific issues you might face.

Here's their "Bra Fitting for Trans Women" guide.

And here's their binding and compression guide for trans men or anyone else looking to minimize the appearance of their bust.

[melovibes57]

When people say acephobia doesn’t happen in the queer community😒

[enby-dressmaker]

[Image ID 1: Screenshot of a tweet by Adam Fare (@adamfare1996) which reads - "Asexual people are discriminated against for their sexual orientation. If you don't know this, you're part of the opressive system Pride is meant to be a protest against". This is in response to a post by Kate Barker-Mawjee (@KateBMwriting) which reads - "choosing an asexual person to lead the Pride parade is a slap in the face to everyone who has ever been discriminated against for their sexual orientation" followed by a photo of the person that they are presumably speaking about.

Image ID 2: Second screenshot of the same Kate Barker-Mawjee tweet scrolled down to better show the photo. It is a black and white portrait of a somewhat darker-skinned feminine presenting person wearing a dark leather vest zipped up to the underbust over a dark low-cut top or bustier, a very short light-colored denim skirt, and dark boots.

Image ID 3: Screenshot of a twitter thread presumably about the same initial post - Vlad the ImPaleAler (@VladGBG) said "This grifter sells herself as asexual when there is not a single non-sexualised photo of her on the internet." Adam Fare (@adamfare1996) said "the irony that you're missing here is that's *your* sexualized brain talking." Vlad the ImPaleAler (@VladGBG) responded "Of course, there's absolutely nothing suggestive about that cleavage, I'm the pervert. *eye roll emoji*." Alt; Kai (@BlddyKai) said "asexuals are allowed to wear what they want, doofus." Vlad the ImPaleAler (@VladGBG) responded "Of course they are. And I'm allowed to call them out for a clear mismatch between what messages they send visually vs. verbally. Not very difficult is it.

Image ID 4: Screenshot of the same thread continuing - Just Linda (@JustLinda802) asked "What message is she sending? I'm really confused." Vlad the ImPaleAler (@VladGBG) responded "I am completely disinterested in sex and feel no sexual attraction to anyone. Here's my hyper-sexualized outfit to prove the point!" Just Linda (@JustLinda802) responded "Dressing in a sexy outfit does not mean one wants sex. It's style and expression. Should all aces dress like an Amish woman?" Vlad the ImPaleAler (@VladGBG) responded "Look, if you don't see the obvious attention-seeking, there's nothing I can say to convince you otherwise. Good day to you." Alt; Kai (@BlddyKai) said "ah yes, cuz attention seeking is just wearing clothes you like." Maxxie (@Girahteenah) said "asexuals don't partake or have desire for sexual activity in other people, it doesn't mean they can't dress or pose to be considered sexy or desirable herself, sexual activity does not equal dressing desirably."

/End Image ID]

[busty-ramblings]

Cleavage is not inherently sexual. Sometimes it's just a part of having breasts and wearing clothes. I wore a blouse today that showed some cleavage. All I did today was hang around at home and then go out to dinner with my family. No reason to be trying to dress "sexy" for that. I just like the top. It's lacy with ruffled sleeves. I think it's cute.

[mskdmkldfmd]

My redesign hot take is that if you’re aiming to “desexualize” a female character, don’t make her boobs smaller. You’re implying a lot here.

[emeraldburn]

Instead of shrinking her boobs, try:

Changing her posture to something normal people do (bonus points for slouching/rounded shoulders, a common posture for tall and/or big chested women)

Making sure her outfit is appropriate for the situation (showing skin is not inherently sexualizing, lingerie armor or half-naked-in-the-snow probably is)

Making her torso/waist thicker, maybe even enough that all her organs would reasonably fit!

There are probably lots more options too! I’m not an artist! Just a person with a big chest and back pain!

[ocean-stuck]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr tags from sealedverses reading: #also try adding actual weight and squish to her boobs #my problem with a lot of art of big tittied women is often that it looks like theres air-filled balloons beneath the skin #as opposed to fat (or even silicone. even boobs that have been surgically enlarged have weight!) #giving them actual heft makes them seem more real #and subsequently makes the character seem like a real person (and not just a sexual charicature) /End ID]

[busty-ramblings]

Two bras that are the same style can still fit differently

Black and other dark colored bras may run tighter than the same style in other colors. Darker colors require more heat to set the dye, which causes the fabric to shrink more during the manufacture process. If they dye the finished bra after it's assembled, the band may be smaller when laid flat compared to the same bra in a lighter color, but even if the shrinkage occurs before they cut the fabric, it may not stretch as much.

The manufacturer may slightly change the design over time. This means that a bra that's labelled as the same style may fit slightly differently than another that was manufactured at a different time.

Wear can change how a bra fits. If you're buying a used bra, it's already had some time to conform to the previous wearer's body and for the elastic to stretch out some. If the bra is still in good condition, this should not be a problem, but it may still affect how the bra feels on the first few wears as compared to a new bra.

Also, the reason why most bras have multiple tightness settings on the closure is to compensate for the band elastic stretching out over time. If a bra is new, it should fit comfortably on the loosest hooks. If a bra that you've had for awhile feels loose or doesn't stay in place, tighten it. If you can't tighten it anymore and it's still loose, it's time to move on.