LET'S ICARUS THIS BITCH

they/them. 26. lemme know if you need something tagged with a warning. enjoyer of losers, pathetic men, and mean women

[wheeloffortune-design]

my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update!

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)

[girlnumbers]

don’t piss me off. you don’t know who you are messing with.

[mammalidentifier]

Southern pudu (Pudu puda). This one is a fawn!

[lilu-the-almighty]

now you know who you are messing with

[captain-price-returns]

Re: sailors on USS Abraham Lincoln on half rations.

[saltoncity]

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

[depsidase]

[scorpionlafemme]

[drowsy-corpsegirl]

Love the asexual tranny too, btw

[clowngirlcreampie]

not every social interaction has to be rooted in sexuality and the second a lot of girls start denying their body to others they lose a lot of opportunities for connection and I think a lot of us pretend it just doesn't happen like that

[mikeyfuckinway]

"cozy bookstore" "cozy cafe with a bookshelf" "omg imagine if there was a place you could just sit and read at" we have this its called the library. you guys want to go to the library. the two college libraries near me have cafes inside and they are open to the public. people need to go to the library

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think that now I’m one of those evil people in the movies that thinks an AI can’t be a person. I’m the guy saying that your robot girlfriend isn’t real. They’re gonna kill me during the matrix wars.

[dogpuppy]

[gremlinservant]

Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today

Edit:

THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!

[segmentedleg]

another thing that I like about thelastsmoke.tumblr.com has to do with my interest in sexual practices that the "average" person would argue "isn't really sex". i.e. sex without orgasms, sex without reciprocity, sex without nudity. and thelastsmoke is undoubtedly that. sexual trappings galore,! notes of bondage, dominance, submission, etc. yet still ultimately "chaste." kindred spirit! reminds me of this quote I recently came across from the anti-oedipus (disclaimer: I don't know anything substantial about deleuzoguattarian theory): "The truth is that sexuality is everywhere: the way a bureaucrat fondles his records, a judge administers justice, a businessman causes money to circulate; the way the bourgeoisie fucks the proletariat; and so on. And there is no need to resort to metaphors, any more than for the libido to go by way of metamorphoses." which to me i can interpret as saying something like: rather than sublimating sexual desires into non-sexual acts, those acts simply become sexual. a final cigarette before execution isn't standing in for sex, it is sex.

[dogpuppy]

[deathstars]

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?

[deathstars]

Here you go. This world is beautiful. Humans are beautiful. I love you

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

metaverse being an 80 billion dollar turbo flop that immediately shut down after one of the worst performances and subsequent total company rebranding in recent history SHOULD, in a kind and just world, have spelled the end for the entire company. but unfortunately we live in hell and "Meta" is still alive

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

same goes for twitter too like that shit should have shut down a month after it became X, The Everything App but these guys just have so much money that 80 billion dollars can be burned with reckless abandon and their companies will survive

[depsidase]

[ruinedchildhood]