You do a really good impression of yourself

I've got desperate desires and unadmirable plans Cassidy. 23. Kelowna BC

[romanceyourdemons]

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

[anticurses]

[beardedmrbean]

[redstonedust]

im a simple man i like when things are shaped like other things. stool shaped like a mushroom. pillows shaped like fruit. salt and pepper shaker shaped like two friends hugging. in my ideal world i will have a house stocked entirely with novelty objects shaped like other objects and it will be beautiful.

[teaboot]

Oh no.... not my bed and my pillows and my blankies..... sure would suck if I.... got snug as a bug in there.... whatever would I do......

[livelovelaugh-777]

[egonkula]

practicing my hot weather affirmations. You are not evil, you are just sweating. You do not hate your friends you are just walking down a street with no shade. You aren’t anger incarnate, you just need a glass of water.

[moveslikekeithrichards]

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

[innerchildabortionclinic]

old people are right about werther's originals btw

[mosshroomish]

can i please see a fat woman wearing it. yes, i know your sizes go all the way up to 5x. but can i please see a fat woman wearing it. yes, i heard you're woman-owned. can i please see a fat woman wearing it though. yes, i understand you donate 50% of proceeds to this charity. i still do not see a fat woman wearing it. can i please see a fat woman wearing it.

[c3rvida3]

I love the word "jamboree". If I had a daughter I'd name her Jamboree Lynn, and if I had a son, I'd leave him in the woods to be raised by coyotes.

[mizuthe-cat]

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

[rockergiirl]

*test driving a car with the salesperson in the car with me* hey do you mind if i test the sound system with my music?

yeah sure go ahead

*connect my mp3 player*

*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*

i love crashing my car, crashing the car i'm driving is my favourite, the only thing i love more than crashing cars is crashing cars with other people in the car with me

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[depsidase]

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[pmamtraveller]

by Christopher Smith