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Interview Vampire Daily
Andulka
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EXPECTATIONS
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Xuebing Du
cherry valley forever
★
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@c-l-e-v-e-r-u-s-e-r-n-a-m-e
Odysseus: *gently hands Athena baby Telemachus*
Athena: …you were PREGNANT AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!
Odysseus: what?- no-
Athena: DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?! I WAS TRAINING YOU!
Odysseus: no I wasn’t the one-
Athena: THAT POOR BOY WAS PROBABLY SO SQUISHED IN YOUR HELMET! LOOK AT HOW SMALL HE IS!!
Conflicting character development
Alternatively
"When your mom is a better grandma than she was a parent"
“Would fall in love with me again if you knew all I’ve done?”
Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?
Penelope: if you can do something for me
Odysseus: anything
Penelope: move my wedding bed.
Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-
Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?
Odysseus:
Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.
...he'll get there eventually
Ares: BEST CHRISTMAS EVER
*a few months after The Ithaca Saga*
Odysseus: *wakes up at the dead of night drenched in cold sweat*
Penelope: Love? What's wrong?
Odysseus: That prophet son of a bitch- IT WAS ME!
Penelope: What??
Odysseus: I WAS THE MAN WHO WAS HAUNTING ALL ALONG!!
Penelope: *pulling him down and hugging him* ok dear just go back to sleep.
*meanwhile in the Underworld*
Tiresias: Fucking finally that dumbass
twenty years across the sea
EPIC: The Musical + text posts and stuff
Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus
They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her
I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.
Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family.
Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.
Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.
the original? on my dash?
Someone make an Epic The Musical AU involving this premise.
I have an au where the baby lives…. do I add Cassandra???
I CANT STOP LAUGHINSGHDJDK
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM
comfort ships will come and go but then there’s the original. the blueprint. my beloved.
no ship is ever coming close i fear
so so real
Percy Jackson and The Chalice of the Gods, but it’s out of Context
Councilor: How are you settling in?
Percy: The chair’s a little short
Paul: I cede the chopping board to the daughter of Athena
Annabeth: thank you kind sir
Grover: The three musketeers!
Annabeth: The powerpuff girls
Percy: Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey
Grover: wait a minute
Annabeth: I’m fine with this
Annabeth: you must be Ganymede
Ganymede: How did you know that?
Annabeth: you’re gorgeous
Percy: Are we really going to search a karaoke bar…like, on purpose?
Annabeth: you can duet with me on ‘Shallow’
Percy: you don’t want that
Annabeth: oh I don’t know, might be romantic
Grover: I’m just going to keep walking
Percy: I would know Annabeth's face anywhere. I love her face.
Annabeth: Did you just call John Lennon ‘that one dude’?
Annabeth: you’re the one who made Hebe mad!
Percy: me? That was all of us!
Annabeth: Ninety percent you.
Percy: only ninety percent, though. I’m improving!
Annabeth: Calm down Seaweed Brain. I’ve got this under control.
Percy: hmmm
Annabeth: don’t hmmm me. Gotta go. Love you
Percy: you too. Don’t love your plan tho
Annabeth: finish your homework
Percy: yes ma'am
Annabeth: *blows kiss*
Percy: *draws glowing smiley face on the wall*
Annabeth: How old are you?
Percy: Eight just last week
Annabeth: *sees snakes* Gross
Grover: hey now, check your mammalian prejudices, reptiles are people too
Percy: Look at my old friend…taking charge and kicking grass.
Annabeth: And whatever you do, don’t stop skipping, Skippy.
Annabeth: You named your staff Mercedes?
Annabeth: …that’s a beautiful name
Iris: He will go by the name….Gary
Annabeth: …Gary
Percy: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
Annabeth: I’m surprised you can quote Shakespeare
Percy: I can quote SparkNotes
Percy: It looks like radioactive honey
Annabeth: No, it’s not radioactive, honey
Percy: I see what you did there
Annabeth: Excuse me, I need a word with my client
Zeus: I do love watching him walk away
Hera: could you not at the brunch table?
Guys Uncle Rick has served us a new meme format.
percy jackson quoting ROMEO AND JULIET at annabeth chase I'm literally going feral right now all my life has led to this moment
not being dramatic i promise but this is actually the best exchange i’ve ever read
