Wrath of the Triple Goddess, but it’s out of context
Grover: The hellhound says you smell Salmon flavored
Percy: No I’m just Percy. That’s my name, not my flavor.
Annabeth: Also kind of your flavor.
Percy: The idea of anybody writing a book about me makes me super paranoid
Percy: I couldn’t imagine spending four nights here without developing an anxiety disorder
Percy: See? I can be charming when I’m not causing chaos. Sometimes even when I am causing chaos.
Annabeth: we’ll be super respectful
Percy: Respectful. Have you met our friends?
Percy: *nods off in class*
Percy: “Hi,” I said. I have a way with words.
Percy: It’s never, Hi, I’m Zeus. It's always I am the Thunder-Maker, the Paranoid Patriarch, Heavenly Adulterer, Lightning Britches, King of Luxurious Beard Products.
Hecate: You may bring those friends of yours…Anna and Groverbeth
Annabeth: I wonder if her house has enough cobwebs, or if I should buy some more…
Percy: Now my arachnophobic girlfriend is talking about buying cobwebs. Who are you?
Annabeth: No spiders, just cobwebs. For ambience!
Annabeth: Bug protein is way more sustainable than other meats
Percy: Grover’s a vegetarian
Annabeth: I got him mushroom tacos
Percy: I am also considering becoming a vegetarian. At least for tonight
Annabeth: I bet those gargoyles come to life
Percy: not taking that bet
Percy: My ratio of answers to bad feelings was way out of balance
Percy: Rats? *Looks at Annabeth*
Grover: We ready for this?!
Annabeth: Maybe it’s a test. We have to choose one
Percy: or maybe Hecate opens all of them at once, and sings in three-part harmony
Grover: You have dark imaginations. How about we just knock
Hecate: Once this mansion was a school for magic
Annabeth: *visibly interested*
Percy: what about bathrooms?
Hecate: *internally panics* you will find rooms with…baths…down there
Percy: you just created new ones, didn’t you?
Hecate: this is how to feed my polecat
Gale the polecat: *rips into dead chicken carcass*
Annabeth: uhh, How often does she do this?
Hecate: If all is not in order…
Percy Jackson: I won’t need the recommendation letter, because I won’t have a future.
Hecuba and Gale: *holding leashes in their mouths by the front door*
Percy: Fine, but we are not going all the way to Pennsylvania
The oversized Labrador would race a block, stop to smell a trash can, race another block, look back to see if Annabeth had been killed in traffic.
Percy: I admire your positivity
Annabeth: *opens toilet filled with boiling water*
Percy: We got up at way too early o’clock
Percy: Honestly, I’d had stranger multiple choice tests
Percy: Are you just running down a list of times I messed up?
Annabeth: You’re cute when you mess up
Percy: My mind raced. What year was I in?
Hecate: If you do a good job this week, I will put you on my list of preferred pet-sitters for the future
Hecate: When I return, if everything isn’t just as I left it…
Percy: Oh, don't worry! Worrying is my job. I am excellent at worrying
Grover: Nope made up names for all of us. Annabeth is Mom.
Annabeth: What a good dog!
Grover: I’m Chew Toy. Percy is Alley Boy.
Percy: My sword was better at slashy-slashy than stabby-stabby, and I didn’t want to slashy-slashy Annabeth. That would make her mad.
Grover: See? Annabeth will make a great mom!
Percy: One thing at a time. I’m still working on college applications
Annabeth: I’m not even going to ask why you have a bikini bottom wrapped around your ankle.
Percy: What’s the deal with the rat? You had, like, a million squirrels and one rat.
Grover: Oh that’s just Eustis, he’s adopted
Grover: Well, you should stress about college a little
Grover: because I’ve seen your GPA
Grover: Annabeths going to kill me, isn’t she?
We didn’t even discuss not telling her, because that was a recipe for disaster.
Percy: She might kill you a little. But in a loving, caring way
Did that mean before he became a Cloven Elder he was Grover BCE?
Naiad: You shall not pass!
Percy: Wait, I know that line. It’s from the wizard guy in Lord of the Rings.
Grover: Maybe it’s another wizard, from that other movie.
Percy: No, I’m pretty sure it’s-
Naiad: Percy Jackson! How dare you show your face here!
Percy: oh, good, you know me. Well, uh, Ms. Aye-aye-aye-
Percy: what? isn’t that your name?
Percy: I can tell I offended you at some point, and I apologize for that, but I offend so many people-
Grover: Hey! I love this song!
Percy: shhh I’m trying to be intimidating
Percy: I was the fanciest heap of useless flesh in lower Manhattan
She marched up to me, smirked, then pulled the bow off my forehead.
Whenever Annabeth joined the chat, the odds of us doing something idiotic went way down.
Annabeth: I want to see the manager!
Employee: Miss, perhaps I can help-
Annabeth gave her a glare that could cut through titanium.
Employee: I-I’ll get the managers. Right away.
Percy: No fair, you didn’t have a search warrant to look under my helmet. This’ll all get thrown out in court.
Percy: I really need to stop manifesting my worst life
Annabeth looked stunned. I guess she hadn’t been expecting me to bend the laws of physics quite so early in a fight.
Meanwhile, Annabeth caught up with Daedra and whacked her over the head with the pot.
Percy: I would’ve jumped out of my pants if I’d been wearing any.
Percy: I didn’t like the idea of my girlfriend having to live the rest of her life with the head of a bird. I mean…yes, I was pretty nocturnal. We could try to make it work.
Percy: It was bad enough having the Greek Gods mad at me. I didn’t need to be on Jesus' naughty list too.
