Happier

♡ puppies | 16 | hooper | pnw | ♡

[gaylaxyofstars]

[tratior]

Mom: did u do ur chores Me: check my faq sweetie :) xoxo

[amargedom]

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.

Maya Angelou  (via haramdaddy)

[jeanqrey]

[sandradrivas]

[peppapigvevo]

fucking dinosaurs got this

[mobacoin]

i rly hate when flies rub their hands together. what the fuck are you planning you little asshole you have a lifespan of like 3 days

[beyoncesdancers]

[gemini]

Stop

[anancientheart]

The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming.

Cheryl Strayed, excerpt from Tiny Beautiful Things  (via ameliepoulaine)

[jazeth]

me: stays in bed 45 minutes after waking up

[nomevoy]

[words-of-emotion]

Click here for more quotes

[madagascargiantdaygecko]

Wiggle wiggle wiggle

[thebootydiaries]

me getting robbed on an elevator: that’s wrong on so many levels haha :)

robber:

me:

robber:

me:

robber:

me: honestly? the fact that u dont appreciate,

[lesbianshepard]

retail story time: ive probably told you this before but like a year ago at work i was closing and we are like five minutes from closing the doors and leaving. it’s late. we close at 10pm during the holiday season and it was like 9:56 when this woman walks in with a shopping cart. 

now, if you work in retail, you know this sort of customer. those assholes who walk in right before you close and take their time shopping and act like they dont notice the announcements that “the store is now closed. please bring your final selection up to the front for checkout.” or that every employee is so fucking done for the night and want to get home. or that they are the only customer in the store. and when they have a shopping cart, you know they’re gonna be a while.

so a solid half hour after we are officially closed this woman comes to my register, because i am the only one open. because it’s ten fucking thirty pm and everyone else is ready to leave and ive been stuck here for eleven hours because someone called out and i was already there and a fucking idiot. 

and this woman, she’s a Suburban Mom ™ type and, like all the fucking moms who come into this store, she doesnt have a coupon because she expects us to just give it to her. and we will, if they ask. except i, after a solid hour of no customers and foolishly thinking nobody would come, had gotten rid of my coupons a few minutes before she walked in. so when she asks if i had a coupon i say no, i’m sorry, i don’t have one at the register. 

and this woman, she leans in and tells me “you know, i’m a professional psychic.” and i think “oh christ here we go”

and long island medium here, immune to the glares of the other employees who want her to just fucking pay and leave, goes on and on about this boy who loves me. we are soul mates, she says. destined to be. but there is a power keeping us apart. she mentions this “power” keeping me from mr. right several times. 

i, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to go home, reply “is it the power of me being a lesbian?”

she pays and leaves without another word.

[skeetbucket]

[ludaprilgate]

[playboyearrings]

hoe tips #2 💋💕

• to makes your nails grow faster, mix ¼ cup of organic coconut oil, ¼ cup of raw organic honey, and 4 drops of rosemary essential oil. warm it up in the microwave for 15 seconds or less, soak your nails in it for 15 minutes. do this 1-2 times a week because it’s a form of nail exfoliation 💅

• steer clear of acetone-based nail polish! they will scrap your nails and leave them thinner. 👎 gel nail polish is safer and stays on for longer. 👏

• take your supplements!!! invest in some biotins, omega 3 and omega 6 oils, get that vitamin e and those calcium gummy bears to boost your immune system! it balances out your immune system and makes you stronger from the inside out 👌 btw, if you’re black, we especially need vitamin d and sunlight! get that money and TREAT.YO.SELF.

• every once in a while, you get broke hoe problems and we can’t make sugar scrubs without the right ingredients. 😥 but, you got a few bananas left? got some cocoa butter and shea butter, some apricot kernel oil, a little brown sugar too?? MIX THAT SHIT TOGETHER AND PUT IT IN A BLENDER. when it’s completely smooth, pour into a mason jar and add in the brown sugar 👍👍👍 your legs will feel silky smooth and refreshed after the exfoliation, trust.

• drink. your. green. tea!!!! 🍵 i cannot stress this enough! it cleanses bad toxins out of your body, eliminates unneeded bacteria, promotes faster metabolism, and can also promote growth for hair. get at least 1 cup in each day 💧

• change your scarves and pillowcases out if they are cotton. cotton makes the hair brittle and dry and recycles bacteria and dirt into the pores of your face. ❌ using soft fabric like silk and satin will be more gentle on your hair. also, wash your pillowcase every week! avoid all the bad stuff and wallow in the clear. 🌟🌟🌟

• get your protein treatments, ASAP. it cleanses your hair while deep conditioning it and clarifying it of product build-up and leaves your tresses soft and smooth. whip up an egg and 3 tbsps raw plain yogurt mix and massage it into your hair. leave it in for 20 minutes under a heat source, rinse, and then continue on with your shampoo routine ✨✨👸💆

• not as busty in the bra size or big in the ass area?? don’t worry. v-necks, crop tees, high waisted shorts/jeans, halter tops, and leggings are great alternatives to emphasizing your body. do your squats!! do your leg exercises!! do your push-ups for those bigger boobs!! never stop pushing yourself to better your body 💪👊☝

• ginger tea is great if you are hungover 💝💞

• avoid. putting. coconut oil. in. your. vagina!!!! it is antibacterial and antifungal and does wonders for skin, hair, and nails, but steer clear of physically inserting it inside of you. it’s a recipe for a yeast infection, or better yet, if you do it before getting busy in the bedroom, unwanted pregnancy! because it EATS HOLES IN CONDOMS!!! 👎✊

• do your eyebrows/eyelashes a favor and put extra virgin olive oil and castor oil combined on them. rub it in gently and don’t regret one second!! do it daily for a couple weeks, and you WILL get thicker eyebrows/longer eyelashes. 💋👂

• looking for a makeup remover, but they just don’t work out? mix 2 tbsps alcohol-free rose witch hazel (diluted with water to numb its astringent effect *for sensitive skin ppl out there*) 2 tbsps jojoba oil, and of course, 2 tbsps filtered water. add them all together and pour it into a dispenser and shake it well before using. wipe it on your eyelids with unscented towelettes and walah!! 💁🙌

to get at stray makeup, dip a cotton q-tip into the mixture and be careful and gentle.

• sensual 90s r&b goes well with a cup of strawberry lemonade and a blowjob. 🙆

• you see this everywhere, but pee after sex!!! please!!!! avoid a uti and infection by doing so. even then, it won’t prevent you entirely from STDs. get tested, get your partner tested! 😘😉

• love yourself! 💞💕 pamper your needs and chill at an expensive spa, get some acrylic nails, drown yourself in well-deserved luxury! me-time is the best time. 😊

happy hoeing!

[quotemadness]

May the sky remind you it’s okay to cry.

Lily Gabrielle (via quotemadness)