omg okay yay sooooo as crazy and mostly bad as the kim storyline was, it REALLY scratched my brain right after s7 ended (and i still do think it's interesting, it was just handled poorly). so the fic was about eddie having to live in the aftermath of briefly going insane from grief, both at home w chris gone and at work w gerrard, and unpacking his relationships with buck, shannon, his family, his sexuality, and religion in the process (and for that last one, the conclusion he reached was that while he'll never participate in organized religion again, he can find a lot of connection in individual spirituality, which is basically how 9x05 ended up going-- assigned eddie understander by 911onabc š)
it had three chapters, one in the immediate fallout, one in texas when he went to pick chris up, and one back in LA, and they were all titled with phrases from the catholic easter proclamation. my favorite was chapter three's title, felix culpa (happy fault) ā£ļøit's genuinely like 95% done, so when i say i never finished it i really just mean i never edited it, but it's been so long now that i'd want to rewrite a good chunk of it even if i did get the drive to return to it. but it lives in my brain forever!!!
Mature | Buddie | 1.5k | tags: accidental kissing, feelings realisation, love confessions, getting together, jerking off in the shower
Buck is leaning against the sink looking out into the garden. Heās in his pajamas, less of a head start on getting ready than Eddie had assumed, his hair fluffy, curling up on one side and flattened to his head on the other, gingery stubble glinting on his cheeks. Heās prepped lunch, something for Chris to eat when he wakes up most likely, and he turns when he hears Eddie come into the room.
āI made coffee,ā he says, jerking his elbow in the direction of the Hildy but Eddie just steps closer, into Buckās space and the sleepy, familiar warmth of him.
'Thank god for you,ā he says, his voice coming out rough, scratchy with disuse, as he snags Buckās mug, his free hand landing on Buckās jaw, leaning in without further thought.
i canāt say shit about liking a character that acts slightly in a very specific way without being hit with a tidal wave of āof course you wouldā to live is to suffer
pouty frowny sleepy eddie diaz walking into his kitchen and then immediately just licking into his buckās mouth as he steals that beautiful hot steamy cup of Their Shared Coffee from his best friendās hand. best friendās. thatās his best friend. and eddie just kissed him. it only takes him fifteen minutes to remember theyāre not together and theyāve never kissed before. but now eddieās in the shower and heās just a man, so he might as well jerk off before he does anything about it
It's early, the sun barely tinging the sky pink when Eddie stumbles out of bed, shoving his feet into his slides, rubbing the grit from his eyes, the sound of his alarm still ringing in his ears. He is not a morning person, he has never been a morning person, vision dimmed and like his head is full of cotton wool for way longer than most people. Shift work and a kid has helped some but mostly he's forcing himself through his morning routine on autopilot, not fully awake until he's dressed, got through breakfast, in his truck and on his way.
He shuffles his way down the hall, walks softly past Chris's door; he doesn't have to be up for hours, no school today, Saturday, and no plans until the afternoon. The living room is tidy, Eddie notices that, Buck's blankets neatly folded at the end of the couch as usual, as he heads towards the kitchen, still barely cognizant of his own existence let alone anything around him.
Buck is leaning against the sink looking out into the garden. He's in his pajamas, less of a head start on getting ready than Eddie had assumed, his hair fluffy, curling up on one side and flattened to his head on the other, gingery stubble glinting on his cheeks. He's prepped lunch, something for Chris to eat when he wakes up most likely, and he turns when he hears Eddie come into the room.
'I made coffee,' he says, jerking his elbow in the direction of the Hildy but Eddie just steps closer, into Buck's space and the sleepy, familiar warmth of him.
'Thank god for you,' he says, his voice coming out rough, scratchy with disuse, as he snags Buck's mug, his free hand landing on Buckās jaw, leaning in without further thought.
Buck's mouth is hot from the coffee, Eddie can taste it, dark and bitter the way Buck likes it, and he laps it up, stepping closer, tightening his grip. Buck makes a sound, caught in the back of his throat and his mouth opens wider on a gasp, letting Eddie in, the soft press of his tongue against Buck's teeth, sweeter and harder all at once.
One of Buck's hands jerks upwards, catching against Eddie's ribcage as if he isn't sure whether to pull him in or push him away. Eddieās eyes flutter open, the sunlight painting their edges golden. He tilts his head, catching Buck's bottom lip between his teeth, soothing the sting with his tongue, rolling forward again as they find their rhythm, slower, shallower pecks into deeper, tonguing kisses. It's good and it's easy and Eddie loses time, loses breath, still half asleep and the taste of coffee entirely gone from Buck's mouth.
Almost as quick as it started, it stops. Eddie steps back, he's still holding Buck's coffee, hasn't even taken a sip. He prefers creamer and three sugars anyway and he needs to shower, setting the mug on the countertop and turning to head towards the bathroom. They can't be late for work.
Eddie turns on the shower and strips out of his clothes, stepping under the spray of the water, noting mildly that's he's half hard. He would be, Buck does that to him, pink and freshly kissed in their kitchen, pouted mouth bruised and slick with Eddieās spit. Eddie touches his fingertips to his own bottom lip, the feeling of Buck's against him still beating there. The scrape of his stubble. Buck's lips on his. From when they were kissing, just now in the kitchen. His best friend Buck.
They don't do that. They've never done that. Except, it felt so right in the soft, early morning hush to step up to Buck and capture his mouth like that, to kiss him over a shared cup off coffee before he's even got his head on right.
Eddie looks down, fully hard now, and takes hold of his cock, insistent need blooming under his skin. He wants to do more than kissing with Buck, that's clear to him now. He wants to take him to bed and listen to every sound he can draw out of him, how sweetly yielding he knows Buck will be, how good he'd feel under Eddie, taking him. Eddie strokes himself faster and imagines fucking Buck hard, slow, quick, soft. His tongue feels too big for his mouth, his desire too big for his body with how much he wants it; more awake than he's ever been with this new knowledge.
They've been living in a strange sort of limbo ever since Eddie and Chris came back from El Paso, the raw edge of everything they've lived through enough to occasionally catch, sharper some days than others, but mostly it's been good. Mostly it's been as easy as kissing Buck in the kitchen just now.
Buck has been making noise about finding his own place because he can't keep sleeping on the sofa forever. Eddie doesn't want him to leave and yet he's still not found it in himself to ask him to stay. If he stayed he could share the bed with Eddie, share the couch when they watch TV with Chris, share the kitchen, share a whole life. That's what he wants. Buck by his side like always.
He squeezes his cock, close now, pumping his hand over his length, twisting his wrist and a thumb to the head. Buck kissed him back and if Buck did that he might want all those other things with Eddie too. He might get on his knees for Eddie, his back, he might let Eddie touch him all the ways he wants. He might let Eddie love him.
It rises quickly, then, pulsing hot, and he comes, stripping his cock hard and fast to the memory of Buck against him and the possibility of everything waiting for him just one room away. If Buck is still there, if he hasn't run out of the house in a panic as he's liable to do if Eddie doesn't keep a tight hold on him, grounded and secure.
Eddie gets out of the shower, no more than rinsed clean, and dries off quickly, shoving himself mostly damp back into his shorts and tank, hurrying back through the house, less than fifteen minutes after he left the kitchen. It's brighter now, the sun fully breaking over the line of houses past his back yard, and Buck is still standing where Eddie left him.
'You kissed me,' he says, dazed.
'I did,' Eddie nods.
'Why?'
Eddie shrugs, comes closer, 'seemed like the right thing to do. You want me to do it again?'
His heart is in his throat, he couldn't bear Buck turning him down, but he has to know if they can have this, now he's learned to want it.
'Yeah, Eddie,' says Buck, his eyes shining, bright and wet, 'I want you to kiss me all the time.'
Eddie crosses the room in two strides, catching hold of Buck with two hands, bringing them together again, as if they never stopped, and Buck melts into him, his hands on Eddie's waist. His touch isnāt tentative anymore, fisting in the fabric of Eddieās top to pull him closer, lips parting on sigh, as Eddie licks into his mouth, desperate for another taste.
It's not mindless this time, both of them equally committed, and Eddie sweeps his thumb over Buck's jaw, to his chin, a hand to the frantic beating of his pulse. It makes Buck moan, everything spit and heat, reeling into each other. Eddie just came but he can feel it rising again, his arousal a dizzying, grasping thing and Buck is hard too, rocking against him, easy friction against Eddie's thigh on the brink of escalation.
They break apart at last, forehead to forehead, breathing hard. Eddie's hand is still clasped around Buck's throat, notched against his jaw, holding him steady as Buck sways into him. He drops his arm, palm to Buck's chest and the racing thrum of his heartbeat. Eddie just went through several epiphanies in the shower and he needs to be sure Buck is on the same page.
'This isn't just sex,' he says, meeting Buck's eyes, 'I don't just want that from you. I want it all, Buck. I love you.'
Buck smiles, beams, beautiful and freshly kissed and Eddie can't wait to do it again, do it a hundred times, do it until they've lost count.
'Iāme too,' says Buck, breathless, 'I love you, too.'
Eddie leans in, kiss number three, and Buck meets him in the middle.
was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"
Hi if you've seen anything about the Indian student protests most of the on the ground reporting is by an independent news organization called PeekTV. They've been facing significant censorship on Instagram, their reporters/co-founders got tear gassed during the protests and they've been subject to many many threats from the incumbent government and their followers. If you're someone who has the means maybe consider donating something to them so they can keep running one of the only media platforms with a spine in this country.
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