𝖓𝖊𝖜 𝖉𝖆𝖜𝖓

𝔦𝔱'𝔰 𝔞 𝔫𝔢𝔴 𝔡𝔞𝔶.

[calebarchived]

@elipax: @calebmontg here's a cute pic from the coming out party [https://i0.wp.com/www.8satire.com/assets/2017/04/75248-large-290384.jpg?fit=500%2C375&ssl=1]

@calebmontg: @elipax i won't share the pics from the after party but theyre just as sweaty!

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@iiiiiiiiiiiitsvicky: oooooooooooh no

@calebmontg: @iiiiiiiiiiiitsvicky woof woof XD shakes my tail at you

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@lana_jameson has unblocked @calebmontg on twitter.

@calebmontg: @lana_jameson i'll remember this.

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“okay. hear me out, dont -- just hear me out. theoretically, we skip town. stage our own deaths on twitter and make a new life for ourselves,” caleb mused, paddling the boat further into the lake, “who do you think would be able to catch on that it was all a ruse?” a backpack sat perched between him and his companion, filled with fireworks, and a bottle of rum sat empty between his legs. “i’m being serious. look at my eyes. serious eyes.”

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@calebmontg: [img https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/702016316504014908/719004627735150642/download20200606204732.png]

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@elipax: @calebmontg https://external-preview.redd.it/0eiCWFYfBcWkghHZXbje2DD3hP05I_r53WXtjOISgns.png?auto=webp&s=5c5c693253d75a7a8e67ec85254ecb3a43b7d211 which end will YOU choose? EPISODES GAME AD STARTS TO PLAY

@calebmontg: @elipax SPIT IN MY MOUTH or DIVORCE

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@elipax: some of y'all are so intense today. when was your last bowel movement?

@calebmontg: @elipax two weeks ago .. do you know a plumber? 🤭

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cstellos‌:

there is a lot of beer. will’s begun stacking the empty bottles in the same fashion one might stack jenga blocks. he doesn’t think they’ll stay upright long enough for a game, but that’s alright with him. “you think–” he pauses to take a long drink from yet another bottle. “you think we could hit ‘em from… i don’t fuckin’ know, over there?” he points into the distance. not too far into the distance. he’s drunk; he doubts his hand eye coordination is capable of launching rocks that far. he knocks the little jenga tower over and starts stacking the bottles again, this time in carnival game formation. then he picks up a large rock. “ten bonus points if you miss and break the window.” he’s referring to the cabin window directly behind them. “but only if it’s genuinely an accident.” @calebmontgcmery​

Caleb felt like he was assisting the cause, in his own little way, attempting to down beers as quickly as Will was stacking them, passing them over like it was an assembly line. Shotgun one here, gulp on another there, until he wasn’t sure how much of the stack was due to his own contribution. “I don’t think I could even hit you from here,” he snorted, extending his arm and trying to slap at Will’s head, only to miss completely, flailing for a moment, rocking on his knees unsteadily. “This game rigged? I went to Coney Island once. I know how these things go.” He was pretty sure Will had been there, when he’d made the venture, but his memory was too hazy to recall. Most of those years were. “Okay. Okay. You’ve twisted my leg.” Stretching into a stand and feigning like he had needed any excuse at all to start throwing rocks, Caleb grinned. “How many points if I do it backwards?”

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rosemaryfm‌:

( @calebmontgcmery​ )

“ - so, I’ve texted him maybe, like - ten, fifteen times, or so? And he still hasn’t responded - do you think he hates me? Am I an unlikable person?” Lydia popped out of the bathroom, then, in her fifth potential fit - the rejects spewed across the room, hanging from lamp and bedpost and littering the floor ( that’d already been covered in other rejects, from other days ), “I mean - I’m likable, right? You like me - right?” She hadn’t stopped to glance at Caleb - gaze locked on only her own in the full-length mirror; her fingers pinching at the waist of her shorts in place of a belt - a frustrated sigh, following, “Is it because I didn’t inherit a bubble butt, too? Is that what’s in, now? Fat asses? God - do you do squats, or something?” After checking out her own, Lydia finally spun to look at her brother, hands pulling at the visible pockets, “How did you and Elias get together? This is so serious. I feel so off my game, it’s tragic. I’m about to go fake heatstroke for a simple bit of affection, which is so pathetically embarrassing, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right?”

This was my far the most brotherly thing Caleb had ever done. It would have been overwhelming in how much of a milestone it was shaping up to be, had he not been cradling a bottle of wine the entire night and distracting himself with a fervent determination to help Lydia find the perfect ensemble. “Maybe he threw his phone out into the ocean, technology cleanse,” he offered, pointedly not addressing the sheer volume of messages his sister had admitted to sending the boy. Best to be supportive in this situation, he thought, trying his best to recall how interactions between Elias and Gunner tended to go. There was a lot more screaming in those, bickering like animals. He felt he and Lydia were more civilized. “You’re great. Honestly. I'm sure his lack of enthusiasm has nothing to do with you. And that outfit’s nice. I don’t really know .. actually .. have you thought about asking Lana? Not about the -- about the outfits. She’s good at those.” Standing, he gazed at himself in the mirror as well, turning to look at his backside when his infamous bubble butt came into conversation. “It is really nice, isn’t it? All natural. Definitely wasn’t from Dad. That asshole’s a plank.” Putting his hands on her shoulders to ease her nerves and pinching softly, he sighed. “Elias and I are not the blueprint, Lyd. We pretended to be straight for a few years then got fucked up and kissed at a party. Drugs .. helped. I’m not -- This is going poorly. Don’t do drugs.”

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gcnnerpaxton‌:

“Stop, stop - I’m not even out yet, Jesus -!” Own bedroom door slammed in his face, Gunner stared stunned for several seconds before finally scoffing and turning towards the main area, “Bullshit. Kicked out of my own fucking - Jesus Christ,” Shouting for the second time in the span of a minute, Gunner’s heart all but jumped out of his mouth when he saw Caleb sat wordlessly on the couch, posing in front of the TV like he should’ve been watching something, “There’s - there’s nothing on,” he pointed out uselessly, hand over his pounding heart. Flopping onto the couch beside Caleb to catch his breath, he snatched the salt and vinegar chips out of the other’s hand, searching the coffee table for the remote, “Why’re you sitting here watching nothing? Where’s the remote?” @calebmontgcmery​

When Caleb heard the footsteps behind him, he considered mustering up the energy to tell their owner to please keep it down so he could hear what was happening on My Strange Addictions, but found he was too drained to even raise his voice. It’d only been a few days, but they were starting to stack up, and though he couldn’t sleep he thought sitting on the couch with a nice show was as good a recuperation as any. He was so out of it that he didn’t even register it was Gunner who was speaking to him until he sat down. “Hey man,” he grinned lazily before the shock of Gunner’s presence finally hit. “Oh fuck! LP!” Turning to him, Caleb looked half ready to dart from the room. “Are you joining me? Like .. of your own free will? Bev.kingston isn’t behind this is she?” Sitting up, he grabbed for the remote that had fallen between the couch cushions. “Here. Put it on whatever you want, I wasn’t that interested in what was on anyway.” Moving to sink back into the spot he had been rooted for what felt like the entirety of the night, he angled his head so he could properly look at Gunner. “I feel like I’m being punked. Did you hit your head again?”

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eliaspaxton‌:

The black light rave had been mostly sweaty, nothing special, and Elias was nursing what felt like an endless hangover. He’d been tailing Caleb since he spot him in the crowd, finding it difficult to catch up with the sea of bodies surrounding them. Finally managing to catch up, he reached forward and clutched the front of his shirt to shove him back against the wall behind him. “Hey,” he shouted over the music. “Fancy meeting you here. Want some of my pill? Spoiler, it’s not in my hand.” @calebmontgcmery​

Caleb had been much more amped for the party taking place in his own residency at the start of the week, before an entire week of not sleeping had started to catch up to him. He was pretty sure he hadn’t slowed drinking long enough to feel any one hangover, but his vision was particularly tunneled when he felt the hand grab at him, his back hit something sturdy. “Whoa, cowboy,” he began, mouth falling into a sloppy grin, “This horse is saddl--” It took him a moment to narrow in on the face in front of him, familiarity and relief washing over him like a renewed wave of adrenaline. “Thank fuck, thank Jesus it’s you,” Caleb laughed, throwing his own arms over Elias’s shoulders. “You taught him to hold things?” he asked, eyes falling down. “Don’t tempt me. I’m covered in this shit,” nodding at the neon orange handprints he’d coated himself in. “Whole party would know I have a thing for .. pills.” Furrowing his brows, like he was in thought, he managed to look back up and meet Elias’s eyes. One set of them at least, several swirled around his line of vision. “Three of you! I’m like a kid in a candy store.”

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leviprk‌:

“dude, caleb, listen,” levi started saying, finding it quite hard to string a full sentence together, but unconcerned about it, feeling way too close to blissfully happy to care about anything besides his good friend caleb. “you know i missed you, right? missed you so much — not just because of your incredible personality, but you have like, the best stuff around, i truly learned a lot about how shitty drugs can be while you were gone,” he said, leaning in closer to caleb to pat his back very lightly. “never leave me again caleb, you hear me? you have to promise, i can’t — can’t go through that again,” he said, turning more serious by the end, holding caleb by the shoulder and staring in his eyes. @calebmontgcmery​

Though his vision was more than a little blurred, Caleb was doing his very best to lock eyes with Levi, feeling as though the conversation was one he needed to be present for. One arm balanced him on a post lining the boardwalk for stability as he nodded along wildly, fighting a grin. “You’ve told me as much,” he confirmed, rubbing at his nose. “I missed you too, man. You’re my favorite customer. Don’t tell Eli.” With a wink Caleb threw his own arm over Levi’s shoulder, abandoning the post and leaning towards him for balance. For some reason he was finding himself startlingly moved by the declaration, most likely a result of the unknown alcohol content coursing through him, and he fought a sniffle. “You’ve convinced me. I’m going to stay in Lovell forever, buy some land. Get one of those signs that reads like .. this isn’t a trap house it’s a trap home.” Snorting, he began to teeter to the side, something on the beach clearly catching his eye. “Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Do you see that? Out there? Golf cart rentals. It’s so late there’s fucking .. no one there. Holy shit Levi, do you know what this means?”

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lanajvmeson‌:

“Badonka donk check!” Lana called out as she flipped to camera view, Instagram livestream directed at Caleb’s ass as he strutted to the bathroom – he’d taken to hoisting his pants up by the belt loops, each step accompanied by a left-right thrust of the hips, excellently showcasing his assets. “Go white boy, go white boy, go! Go white boy, go whi– Hnnngah!” came as Lana tripped up over a dress strewn on the floor, camera jogging as she found her footing. Their room had been chaotic from the moment they arrived – instantly, Lana had plugged in a mood light, set it to vary through the rainbow as they chanted “gay rights!”. They’d already interviewed Viktor as if he was on a talk show, voices pensive as they asked what it was like to have fucked them both. Things derailed slightly when the answer apparently proved too exciting, prompting an abandoned camera and a quick clamber onto Viktor’s lap. Nevertheless, guest now evicted, they were still going strong. Premium content. At some point, Caleb had begun to piss. “Ugh. King. Literally listen to that, like… that stream. That’s the thick, strong stream of a big ol’ horse dick, I’m serious, everyone. Everyone wishes they could have what Caleb has. Like… They just… wish, they wish! They wish so b– Hey. What the fuck?” Gasping suddenly, something caught her attention in the comments. Camera flipped back, it showcased Lana letting out a scoff of disbelief. “Bev.kingston,” read as “Bev Dot Kingston”, “just said ‘you both bitch’? In all caps?” Eyes flying towards Caleb, it was instinctive, the way her foot began to stomp, a hand slapping against the wall in rhythm with Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’. “You. Both. Bitch… You. Both. Bitch.” @calebmontgcmery​

The initial disappointment of not being placed in the same house as Elias had worn off almost as soon as it had arrived following an appointment with Lana to stay in the same room. Caleb had been treating it much like a formal hotel reservation, slinging his bags onto the floor for someone to carry to his room and instantly cracking open the first bottle of booze he’d found in the kitchen. Now, several hours later with his bags somehow making their way back to him, he couldn’t remember how many bottles of wine he’d managed to steal with Lana or how many bowls he’d packed, only that he was doing something of a potty dance for an ever increasing Instagram Live audience and that he could vaguely make out Lana’s chanting. “I love this song, turn it up!” he hollered in response to her rendition of ‘go white boy go’, still doing a bit of a jig as he tried his best to aim. “It’s a bit rocky in here!” he declared wildly, like a sailor on a ship that was overturning, “Men overboard!” He was shouting so loudly he couldn’t even make out the compliments about him Lana was giving to the camera. He was already beginning to think quite fondly of the following they had managed to amass, until he moved to wash his hands and heard Lana’s distraught announcement. He met her eye and started dancing back to her, the same strut as before, to the beat of her new song. It felt like a much more somber jig, like they were mourning something. “Bev.kingston,” he echoed, voice sounding near hollow. “What the fuck’s her--” Realization struck like a slap to the face as he finally registered where he knew the username. “Oh shit! They’re already taking sides! It’s an all out ship war.” Snatching the phone from Lana’s hand as he did his best to stomp along to her beat, Caleb began to pout. “I will be reviewing my legal options Bev.kingston,” he began, speaking directly to the assailant. “Love is love.” He began to hand the phone back when another message from Bev appeared on the screen, a hashtag, like a movement was beginning. “Hashtag Calana is over party. Are we getting cancelled?” 

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If asked, Caleb would blame his near chaotic disposition on the red lights illuminating the room, instilling him with, what he had been describing as, An Affinity For Evil. Clad in an all red ensemble he’d scrapped together with some heavy borrowing from Lana’s wardrobe and a tuff of white powder left rimming his nose, he really felt like some modernized interpretation of the devil. He’d almost even forgotten he’d been talking to Teddy, though he was pretty sure his mouth hadn’t stopped running since they’d ran into each other. “So anyway, this Bev Kingston bitch thinks Lana and I have ditched our lover’s quarrel with Elias to focus on some sexual endeavors involving each other. You ever been the topic of internet controversy before?” The question made him finally pause, staring at Teddy in horror, because he suddenly remembered several ways Teddy had been targeted online. If only his common sense worked faster than his mouth. “Shit, uh, you don’t have to answer that. Unless you want to tell me what was up with those screenshots on twitter the other day. You don’t have to tell me. I’m honestly dying to know, Claude. Don’t tell me. Do.” He was clinging to Teddy’s shirt by this point, trying to perfect a pout that didn’t look quite as deranged as he felt. @teddylawrence​

[dvminics]

:)

[knoxblake]

8===D

[dvminics]

[calebarchived]

RT @lydiadelia: @elipax @chaseeeeeeem 2 bottoms do NOT make a top