This was a painful exercise.
taylor price
Peter Solarz
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document

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Origami Around
Stranger Things
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
dirt enthusiast

pixel skylines
YOU ARE THE REASON

Kaledo Art
Acquired Stardust
occasionally subtle

JVL
wallacepolsom
Three Goblin Art
h
KIROKAZE

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@regular-old-plumbus
This was a painful exercise.
Carmen Inciting Incident
Wonderful. You create Carmen as a wonderful ingenue. She battles between being accepted or abiding to her sense of virtue, propriety or even fear.
Fear of the unknown is always a crippler and for her to no know what might happen or how she might feel if she followed through in a moment of physical intimacy is a very resonant feeling.
Exchange between Gerald and Carmen is resonant of a teenage encounter. Gerald has an underlying sense of sinister to him ‘get on your knees’ which creates intrigue and we sense that this will be the start of Carmen’s reputation building up for better or worse. Great stuff.
Wow, hearing you describe the way this would go irl, I held Carmen on such a pedestal that the idea of her on her knees, even for a faux situation, really shocked me. I always had some hope that there might be an air of grace about how she gains her reputation, but given the nature of her world and the people she’s with, that’s not a possibility. Watching her enter that world, both in search of popularity through notoriety while simultaneously preserving her innocence really makes her an interesting character and sets a clear idea of just how crafty she can become.
Boi. Nice.
WEEK 10
• Protagonist’s action taken in response to Inciting Incident • Obstacle #1 encountered in the course of taking action • Protagonist’s response to Obstacle
I'm so fascinated to see where this goes, Georgia. That soft little touch with Jamie at the end was succinct and really brought him past that first bump for me.
One thing I want to know more about is if there's any changes in Rita's reaction to him coming up, given that she's the one with front row seats to watching his form change.
I had more but chrome is frozen and I'm posting on my phone so hey Georgia you're my friend and I love you.
This really needs to be emphasised more on the page, I know, I know.
Reaction to inciting incident: Escape
Obstacle: Lack of direction/ being alone
Reaction to obstacle: Acceptance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56_AsRECKeA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5hBkQT3-C8
There was an suggestion of Angelina Jolie that I fell in love with, so bonus contextual image:
Key Plot-Points
Ellie is at home, impatiently awaiting Lex's return. Here, the audience is introduced to her character, her sickness, and is given an idea of the nature of the relationship with her father. This deepens when Lex arrives and announces that he has been offered work with a central group of revolutionaries; a movement the Ellie desperately wants to join. On his way home from a job, Lex is pursued by Frederick, a watchdog of the state. He follows Lex to his flat and insists on searching the building. Ellie is found, and Frederick, realising that she is ill, advances on her. Lex buys his daughter enough time to escape, and hurrying to catch the woman, Frederick spares Lex. Ellie spills into the back streets of the city and gets her first taste of freedom. She heads deeper into the slums, keen on finding other revolutionaries, but is instead reunited with her father. Lex attempts to hide Ellie once more, but she refuses to give up her newfound freedom and convinces her reluctant father to lead her to his employers. The two find their way to Lex's allies, who welcome Ellie. She is at first delighted to have achieved her dream, but soon realises that many revolutionaries in the group share her sickness. Lex could have let her go long ago. A confrontation between the two is cut short when Frederick catches up to them, forcing the two to flee together. Eventually, they are cornered by the man, and reconcile in hiding. When they are finally found, Lex is shot and killed by Frederick, who moves over Ellie while she mourns her father. He is caught off-guard when Ellie withdraws Lex's gun and shoots him. Crouched exhausted and broken with the two dead men, Ellie is found by the group of revolutionaries.
This is a reward scenario for Ellie, but at the cost of her father.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhhQrFfzFM4
Industry Perspectives: Week 8
Brief plot outline.
Norah is a young girl living the quiet life in a suburban town. Her divorced father, a man who she absolutely adores, has recently acquired a new girlfriend. This new love interest is a veterinarian and makes life for Norah less-than-pleasant. Norah is used to her father’s constant affection, but due to his attention being shifted towards his new girlfriend, she is left feeling lonely and unappreciated. One day at school, Norah is forced to dissect a frog by her science teacher for an assignment. For the first time, Norah feels in control of a situation, and experiences joy bringing pain to the very thing that her dad’s new girlfriend loves most- animals. Norah begins murdering the neighborhoods pets: dogs, cats, hamsters and even goldfish. She buries them in her backyard, behind the shed. Norah figures that if she kills all the town’s beloved pets, her Dad’s new girlfriend will run out of clients, and be forced to relocate her veterinary business. To Norah’s horror, a tornado rips through the town and lifts the dirt off the graves of her victims, swirling the dead animals through the sky. In an act of despiration, Norah pins the murders on the girlfriend. Under investigation, it is discovered that the girlfriend runs an illegal fur-trading business, and is also wrongly found guilty of the animal murders by default. Norah has succeeded in eliminating the girlfriend from the picture.
Oh my GOD WHAT DID I JUST READ. That was twist after twist. I think it’s interesting that Norah, although beginning her murder spree due to a twisted thought, has all the groundwork of a psychopath. Nice jobbb
At least tell me she sits on a tack at the end 😣. Such disturbing and fantastic imagery, and not to mention oozing with originality. Picturing that tornado has me putting money in a savings account for when this hits the screen.
Proposed Plot for 10-12er
Super interested to see how you'll be condensing this into a short film. It's driven by action, has clear plot points, and everyone loves a good fight scene. It's clean, it's pretty, and it's commercial. Nice one fam.
I did this wrong don’t tell nobody
Ellie has been confined to a cramped flat for the past year, unable to leave due to her elderly father's paranoia that she will meet the same fate as her mother, a victim of political execution purged for carrying the same plague that Ellie has contracted. Yearning to join the brewing uprising against the gonverment that took her mother, Ellie is granted her wish when she is discovered by a government official, and is forced to flee into the bowels of a decaying city with her father, engaging in a chase between two disabled relvolutionaries and a military watchdog.
(Psst, they get caught and the dad dies.)
Plotting Illogicalities
After the film screening we raised a number of questions relating to the film's plot:
Your task:
Choose one of those questions
Identify the plotting issue being raised. Why is it problematic for the story's logic?
Propose a viable solution to make the illogical thing logical, without sacrificing any entertainment value, or requiring the whole script to be thrown out the window.
Why are James and Sylvia forced to undress for a second chemical shower?
After James and Sylvia are taken captive by Dr. No, they are each scanned and then gingerly put through a chemical bath, which, despite the level of concern over contamination evident among Dr. No's staff, is performed lazily enough to warrant a second bath. Apparently, washing the two with their clothes on is not enough to rid them of their contamination (which hasn't actually been discussed in detail), and so James and Sylvia are ordered to undress and shower. This scene raises a few concerns. Most prominently, the reason for the second shower is questioned; what reason do Dr. No's staff have to be so strict about such a level of contamination? Fear of radiation exposure is not made clear despite it being one of the focal points of the scene. It's almost as if the two captives are undressed and put through the second shower simply due to indulgence on Dr. No's part. Honestly, I wouldn't blame him. I'm not here to shame anyone just so long as their intentions are expressed. This confusion could be avoided by providing an obvious reason for the second shower, whether it be for fear of exposure or just to cop a look, to make the scene transition smoothly to the next and give the audience a better indication of what sort of man Jame and Sylvia's captor is. Discussion of Dr. No's zero tolerance for contamination could allude to a weakness or vulnerability for the antagonist. Even undressing the two just to exercise power over them could take the nature of the scene in another direction. The scene would be easily repaired if Dr. No's staff were to share more dialogue with James and Sylvia, or even amongst themselves as to why they're doing what they're doing.
Lex
PART ONE
Propose a Flawed Belief they might have that stems from the Wound. Ie: something that would seem to fit the sentence, “If I just do this then I’ll never be wounded again.”
“If I keep myself alive, I keep my daughter alive.”
Convinced that Ellie is completely dependent on him, Lex keeps himself tied to working life despite his age and exhaustion. He insists that she needs him to live and doesn’t spare himself time for her opinion.
Propose an Irrational Fear for the Protagonist, also stemming from the Wound. Ie: something that would seem to fit the sentence “If I just avoid doing that then I’ll never be wounded again.”
“If Ellie doesn't go outside, she cannot be killed.”
While Ellie is desperate to join a brewing revolution, Lex keeps her away from the public eye due to her sickness - the same plague that had his wife executed.
Propose a potential Deeply Held Longing – the thing the character needs in order to be a better person and lead a better life. This is not the same as the Goal/Want. This is the thing that, once attained, heals the Wound, destroys the Flawed Belief, and exposes the Irrational Fear as phony.
To relinquish his self-imposed responsibility and be at peace.
Which of the Three Classic Ways to Create Empathy might be utilised in creating your protagonist?
Sympathy (victim of undeserved misfortune)
Jeopardy (placed in a threatening situation)
Likability (kindness, generosity etc)
Lex falls under all of these categories in his specific situation; he is an aging character that despite the strength and talent he once possessed as a younger man is falling behind the working class and cannot keep up with increasing work demands in a society where the needy are ignored.
He places himself in jeopardy once he makes the decision to take illegal work amidst a revolutionary movement, drawing unwanted attention to himself.
Lex isn't likeable in his attitude so much as he is in action – he works and lives to ensure his daughter's survival at the cost of his last years.
Which of Five Additional Ways to Strengthen Empathy might be drawn upon in creating your protagonist?
High level skills
In touch with their power
Placed in a familiar setting
Familiar flaws and foibles
Acting as the ‘eyes’ of the audience
In denial about the failing skill that has come with his age, Lex consistently overestimates his abilities. This, coupled with his inability to hear reason from others, is his undoing.
PART TWO
Using the formula illustrated in the Thematic Statement Lecture, create a Thematic Statement for your emerging 10-12 page Short Script assignment. Think of this statement as a ‘life lesson’ – but be careful to stick to the formula’s three parts. What is the ‘life lesson’ that you believe in and want your audience to learn via your script?
Thematic Idea: Existing
Transformative Action: Solely to escape death
Manifestation or Result: Makes for a wretched life
“Existing solely to escape death makes for a wretched life.”
Prof. Eugene Adachi
Character Building Blocks
Propose a Flawed Belief they might have that stems from the Wound: “If I just do this then I’ll never be wounded again.”
“If I just work harder I’ll never make the same mistake again”
Eugene is determined that the fatal miscalculation of his last, disastrous experiment was a fault of not working hard enough, rather than working too hard.
Proposal an Irrational Fear for the Protagonist: “If I just avoid doing that then I’ll never be wounded again.”
“These test subjects are dangerous and uncompromising. I must never treat them as anything but a threat. I have learnt that the hard way and I’ll never make the same mistake again”
The carnage of his last failure has bred a deep fear and mistrust of all contained paranormal subjects. He now treats all contained subjects as both subhuman and a potential threat - even the friendly ones.
Propose a potential Deeply Held Longing – the thing the character needs in order to be a better person and lead a better life. It heals the Wound, destroys the Flawed Belief, and exposes the Irrational Fear.
There’s a void within Eugene - a disconnection from external world he thinks he can fill through scientific research. In reality, it’s a connection to others, and an understanding of empathy that Eugene subconsciously longs for. The longer he chases the ever-illusive ‘final scientific breakthrough’ the closer he comes to wounding himself again.
Which of the Three Classic Ways to Create Empathy might be utilised in creating your protagonist?
Sympathy (victim of undeserved misfortune)
We should feel sympathy for the both physical and mental isolation Eugene finds himself in, particularly because it is self imposed. At the beginning of the story this takes the form of his lonely job in Archives. As the plot progresses it will take the form of Eugene’s scientific disconnection that bleeds into his daily interactions.
Jeopardy (placed in a threatening situation)
Eugene will find himself in particularly dangerous situations when dealing with a dangerous rouge subject.
Which of Five Additional Ways to Strengthen Empathy might be drawn upon in creating your protagonist?
High level skills
Eugene is an incredible problem solver and very hard worker. Although, often, he will work himself to the bone, you can guarantee that whatever he produces will be perfect.
Familiar flaws and foibles
Eugene is typically awkward with social interaction. He does his best to be friendly to his co-workers however, he often misreads social and emotional cues in conversation. He’s the kinda guy you have to explain the punchline of a joke to.
Thematic Statement
Thematic idea: The abuse of others …
Transformative action: … for the sake of scientific advancement …
Manifestation or result: … is ultimately dehumanising for all involved.
The abuse of others for the sake of scientific advancement is ultimately dehumanising for all involved.
Hello there Mr. Gibson.
You most certainly have laid out the building blocks of a great character. The attention to detail really serves this character description. It better helped me formulate in my mind what this character would look like on the screen; in terms of how he acts and the things he says. Great wound! The tortured scientist is an interesting angle and I can’t wait to see what you do with it.
Until next time….
“The shovel was a groundbreaking invention”
- Baroque Obamamas
I’d appreciate if you didn’t make me sad with a single character, bruh.
Eugene upsets me. He’s difficult and compelling and lonely, and he upsets me. His self-imposed isolation makes him an incomplete man, and you make me long to see him find his redemption. You’ve got me holding out for a pay-off.
Also, love the art.
A Protagonist Is Born
Name: Barnabus Black,
… fashions himself as “The Necromancer”
… was “Father Michael” for a few years
Age: 304
Gender: Male
Appearance: Medium height, physically unimposing; gaunt cheeks, pale, greying skin, a haunting disposition complimented by forlorn, ashen eyes; ebony hair in a wavy mess that ends just above the nape of his neck, a preference for dark clothing, an old scar on his left cheek.
Dis/abilities: A talented sorcerer who is well-versed in necromancy. Literate and a fast reader. Not an athlete by any stretch.
—-
Intelligence: Surprisingly intelligent individual given his roots. Has displayed a penchant for academics and scholarly pursuits, lending well to his line of work.
Emotional Makeup: Adamant in his religious beliefs, which inspires his fear of Hell (and thereby the knowledge that he’ll end up there if he dies). This fear has characterised his need to preserve himself, and the heinous actions that have accomplished this. No room for compassion, not anymore – psychopathic level of remorselessness, a pragmatic thinker, charismatic, manipulative.
—-
Job: Sorcerer. An ordained priest.
Family/Love Life: His family are all long-dead, though the Mother (and other Sons) of Scholomance come close. He loved a woman once, but she died a lonely and disappointed crone many years ago.
Friends: None, although he has amicable dealings with a man named Christian de Lourde.
Affiliations: Scholomance. The Catholic Church.
Finances: He has what he needs to survive.
Ethnicity: British, specifically from Essex.
Religion: Roman Catholic.
Domestic Arrangements: He has an apartment in Paris, near the ruins of what was the Bastille. What a day that was for Mr Black.
—-
What is the Goal/Want that the Protagonist is actively and consciously pursuing in this story?
After accidentally killing the 4-year-old son of a baker, Barnabus wants to resurrect him.
Which one of the Five Classic Goals/Wants does it best fit with?
· To Win
· To Stop
· To Escape
· To Retrieve – this little boy from wherever he is.
· To Deliver
What is the Protagonist’s Wound and is it drawn from any of the classic types?
Loss, Heartbreak, Abandonment, Betrayal, Humiliation, Rejection, Failure, Guilt
The Necromancer’s Wound is derived from his childhood. Barnabus was a boy when he and his younger brother were orphaned. Their lord, a particularly despicable kind of pervert, made Barnabus an offer regarding his younger brother – give the 4-year-old boy to him, or take him and go. Barnabus took the latter, and they were sent off their old lord’s lands during a particularly fierce winter. His brother froze to death one night during a snowstorm, and Barnabus had to bury him two days later after the tempest passed. He was not yet christened, and so Barnabus believes he is in Hell, a thought that has haunted him since. It is during this moment that he developed an obsession with death, which he saw so much of London. Loneliness, guilt, and the idea that perhaps he could help his brother led him to Scholomance a decade later where he was adopted by the Mother.
He’s also terrified of dying. He believes in Heaven and Hell and he knows that if he does die, he’ll end up in the latter, which isn’t a pleasant prospect for him. I’m not sure where that fits in the above eight.
Totally original and I love it.
Despite what he’s done and the kind of person he is, he’s still a compelling character, and I demand that you tell me more about him.
Character Building Blocks
Personal Makeup
Name: Thea
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Appearance: half black, tall and imposing with a pointed nose
Dis/abilities: intelligent and sharp-minded, but is a woman in a man’s world, which limits her.
Personality
Intelligence: Thea is a sophisticated woman with sharp wit and quick thinking skills. She has a great sense of justice and is incredibly empathetic to people’s grievances. Known to always put other people before herself, but is not easily trampled on and has an aura that demands respect.
Emotional makeup: Despite her empathetic character, she is outwardly aloof and guarded around people who she believes act to satisfy their own interests, which makes her susceptible to negative labels.
Role
Job: A princess; the first-born of a King
Family/Love life: She is the first of seven siblings, the rest of whom are males. Only one of her brothers is her full sibling; the others have different mothers. Her mother died, and her relationship with her father is tense. She refuses to get married since she believes it would limit her abilities in court and give people reasons to cage her.
Friends: She has no true friends, only close relationships with particular maids. The only person who she considered a close acquaintance is a court minister who is in love with her, but whose affections she is blind to.
Affiliations: She is a staunch critic of many ministers in court due to their ruthless abilities to take advantage of their positions to advance themselves. Instead, she supports union groups who attempt to establish their own rights, without realising that the princess is their biggest advocate.
Finances: As the daughter of a king, she is within the means to live a life of luxury
Ethnicity: The daughter of a Caucasian father and a black mother
Domestic Arrangements: lives in the royal palace
Goal
To win the throne, as she believes it is her birthright (because she is the first-born) and due to the fact that she is the most invested in the people’s welfare. However, she is competing with multiple brothers, one of whom is killing off his siblings in order to take the crown. As a result, her goal is preventing bloodshed among her family by stopping her sibling and ascending the throne peacefully.
TO WIN & TO STOP
Wound
Thea suffers from rejection, as she is deemed incapable of leading a country or even partaking in court proceedings. Despite being the sharpest of all of her siblings, a clear born leader, she is continually belittled and underestimated by the men within the court due to her gender. A minor wound is also betrayal, as she sees that her father and some of her brothers are also actively working against her due to their belief that she is unsuitable to be queen.
I love seeing this in writing after the tute group! She’s a character that just makes perfect sense in her environment and really is just someone you vouch for as a reader.