Ooh bother . . . tea will make it better

Tea will fix anything, promise.

[lavenderprose]

Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.

"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"

Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.

"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"

Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.

"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."

"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.

"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"

"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"

"No," Shane says, shortly.

"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"

"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"

"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."

"Mom!"

"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."

"Oh, you did?" Ilya says, shoulders shaking. "You outgrew the, uh, oral fixation?"

"Stop," Shane hisses.

"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.

"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"

"Please stop."

[fractally]

I am a fan of the dynamic where there's no leak and Shane moves to the Cens of his own accord and then Shane and Ilya never come out exactly but they just live openly and all these dumbass hockey players are just like

"Oh yeah they're just like that. They live together and room together and vacation together and get mad if they're separated on the bench. And they kiss in the locker room sometimes but it's you know. They're joking around. Good guys. Gay? Well---no I don't think so. I mean that's weird. Roz is a pussy hound. I mean I've never seen him with a woman but you know he is. Anyway Hollander had that whole thing with Rose Landry and he still talks about her, I think he's still hung up on her. Poor guy. I did walk in on Hollander sleeping on Roz's lap the other day but they were just getting in sync for power play you know? You reporters always want to make everything gay it's so weird. What do you mean 'why do they kiss so much' they're the top goal scoring duo in the league"

[fractally]

Some chatter about realism in the tags of this and tbc this was mostly a bit but I actually do think this is the MOST realistic option for Shane and Ilya. Hockey teams are constantly shifting workplaces, and if they didn't want to go public-public (which they would have good reasons for) this sort of thing would be really easy to pull off.

The core roster that sticks around year after year would know, probably, and the coaching staff and admin, because they're each other's medical contacts and all that. But the roster fillers who spend a year on the team before being traded? The guys getting called up and down a lot? Maybe they get the idea maybe they don't (depending on how concussed they are) but it wouldn't at all be hard for Shane and Ilya to just keep living their lives and not have to say anything explicitly.

The most dedicated fans might notice that Hollander and Roz seem to spend all their off-time together, and neither are ever seen with women, and hmm. But the average hockey bro is not going to assume they're married to each other.

There's this kind of double think that happens with highly heteronormative spaces where a queer dynamic is so unthinkable that space for it can be carved out as an eccentricity, and ambiguous queerness can exist in more relative safety than in a space where unambiguous queerness is understood as a possibility. Shane and Ilya being acknowledged not as a literal gay couple (because these hockey guys can't wrap their heads around that) but as a special case of just two guys who love each other and do everything together could go on pretty much indefinitely. And I genuinely think a lot of those guys could get the idea that they live together, they are a bonded pair, maybe even that they fuck, and still not relate that to the concept of gay rights and LGBTQ whatever because that's you know. That's something else, that's guys with lisps who wear skinny jeans and drink vegan lattes, that's a whole different thing out there in the world that has nothing to do with us.

[ill-gotten-gaines]

Ilya is not allowed to go on Call Her Daddy. It doesn't matter how much he begs and cajoles, and promises to be good, Yuna has put that particular interview on the "Hard No" list at least until they're retired. 

To be honest, Ilya gets it. He doesn't think that any amount of media training could keep him from going fully off the rails if given the chance to talk about how much he loves Shane, how good his cock tastes, how he made Shane cum hands free the first time he was ever inside him. And the thought of literally any of that being chirped back at them on the ice like it's bad or filthy or shameful? No. Not happening. 

So Ilya pouts but understands, and gets over it. That is, until Shane accepts the invitation. Then there are hissy fits and overdramatic shouting matches with zero heat behind them ("Yuna, what the fuck? Why can Shane talk about our filthy sex life?" "Because he blushes when he says the word 'sex', Ilya. And because he's never made a face fucking joke in front of me.") and just so much sulking. 

Yuna knows it's a risk, and there's no way in hell she's going to be there for the taping. But she also knows that Shane's Golden Boy image was shattered to pieces with a single grainy video of him. 

Now is a chance to start over. They've had long conversations about this - conversations over wine, and walks, and in therapy. This being a "rebuilding period" for Shane's reputation, yes, but also for his agency over his own image. And if him going on a podcast to talk about why his knees are perpetually bruised during the summer will give him a sense of control over his life, then this is the penance Yuna will pay for not listening and being in his corner sooner. This is how she will support her son.

So Shane goes on Call Her Daddy, and Ilya sits behind the camera with headphones on, pouting dramatically when Shane is looking, but really just staring with love and adoration at his husband. When Yuna asks how it went, Shane just blushes and Ilya beams and says, "He will break the internet."

And he does. Of course he does. He can't say the word sex without blushing, but it turns out Shane Hollander can employ euphamisms and imagery like a goddamn romance novelist. 

Gif Sets are instantly made of him saying things like:

"It felt like cannonballing into a cold lake: every inch of me was suddenly alive." about Ilya handing him a water bottle when they were eighteen, or;

"It was a revelation." about their first hookup, or;

"It's the only place other than hockey where my mind goes quiet." about their sex life in general.

Entire OpEds are written about Shane's quiet devastation at the end of his Metros run ("They were going to hang my jersey in the rafters. Now they burn it in the streets."). During the Metro's next game, a huge number of fans turn up in his jersey, holding signs that say "We're Sorry." 

A fan account turning his quotes into steamy romance novel covers gets over 1 million likes on the cover they made of Shane's ridiculous cologne ad photo with the words, "I spent years surviving on the minutes we could steal" written over the top.

Ilya can't get enough. He starts calling Shane his poet, his author, his cunning linguist. He buys tank tops of his favorite phrases and wears them all the time. He and Rose even wear matching ones when they're shopping in LA that say Ravenous over the grainy footage that outed them to start with. Ilya frames and hangs the paparazzi photos.  

Eventually time goes on and the internet finds something else to obsess over and Ilya forgets all about it. That is, until Shane shakes him awake at 3am, looking haunted as he says, "Ilya, Ilya I need to tell you something." 

Ilya's brain is still in Russian mode, still in fight or flight when he mumbles, "What is it?"

"The podcast, Ilya, I..." for a second Ilya thinks he's having a massively delayed panic attack about the whole thing, but then Shane says, "I. I hired someone. An author. To write the talking points."

Ilya laughs himself into an asthma attack. 

[gaynehollander]

At some point after the cottage but before the public outing TMZ does an article on “Ilya Rozanov’s most high-profile hookups” which is essentially just a list of Instagram models with paparazzi shots and blurry cellphone pics of Ilya at the club. Shane scrolls through it, absolutely seething, because he is Ilya’s most high-profile hookup - maybe not by their metric, which seems to be Instagram followers, but Shane hasn’t heard about a single one of these women, apart from Svetlana whom he wouldn’t have recognised if not for Ilya talking about her. The guys are talking about it in the locker room, as if Ilya’s a legend for getting with all of these supposedly very desirable women (although that is decidedly not the way the guys phrase it) and Shane is absolutely furious because he can’t tell anyone that none of these women got to keep him. He is the only one who’s gotten to call Ilya his. He is the only person Ilya’s been in love with.

Anyway, after the next Boston/Montreal game Ilya shows up to practice genuinely looking like he’s been mauled. His entire body is covered in hickeys and bruises that look suspiciously like bite marks - his neck is basically covered in purpling marks with a fair few centred on his chest but a couple of the bruises trail further down, one on his pubic bone, a couple on his thighs, and the darkest one on his hip, a large circle of clear teeth marks - not only that but his back has been practically scratched to ribbons. Ilya is basically a walking sign spelling out “TAKEN - BACK OFF” and when the gossip of Ilya Rozanov apparently having been locked down by a wild animal reaches the Montreal locker room Shane can’t help the proud little smile that blooms on his face because, yes, that’s his man.

[popcornhog]

practicing anatomy be like

based loosely on this accurate post

y’all know this was just a ploy to make a shirtless jason

[ill-gotten-gaines]

After they're out, Shane and Ilya record a lifestyle video together for ESPN. ESPN is chomping at the bit: no one can imagine Racecar Rozanov and Hockey IQ Hollander's life behind closed doors, and they want the exclusive.

The crew shows up totally unsure of what to expect, charmed but surprised when it's Ilya opening the door in a tank and sweats and dramatically sighing, "Is meal prep day."

They spend hours filming the couple navigating the kitchen, arguing over how much salt to put in their egg cups, talking about how they learned to cook together when they first made a real go of their relationship.

Shane keeps his hands busy and his eyes focused on his prep work, and that makes it easier to talk about the murky grey area between healthy food choices and disordered eating. Ilya just rubs his back and mocks how he's dicing the bell peppers and keeps calling what he's wearing his "unlucky sweatpants" until Shane hits him in the face with a spatula while mumbling something about tuna melts.

Surprising exactly no one, the video goes viral when it drops on YouTube. It explodes on socials, with thousands of people stitching together Ilya saying "is meal prep day" with videos of their own meal prep, their healthy habits, sharing their own journey to loving food and treating it as fuel and not punishment. They use the tag #eatlikehollanov and it trends immediately.

Ilya's favorite part is when fans start to battle over #eatlikehollanov - the food posts get overtaken with videos and photos of them out at social events, serving cunt and generally looking like top designers battle it out for who gets repped by The Gay Wonder Twins of Hockey (which they do, and stop calling us that, we're married you perverts).

Then Shane and Ilya are spotted at a bar making out in a dark corner and everyone remembers these two probably spend 30% of their waking hours eating each other alive, and suddenly it's #eatlikehollanov munch munch munch yum yum yum.

The Centaurs jump on the trend, sharing their own food prep videos with increasing innuendo. Luca Haas turning bright red while eating a glazed donut gets 3 million views, but Troy really breaks the internet by eating a banana while maintaining eye contact with the camera the whole time. Harris threatens to replace the Kiss Cam at games with #eatlikehollanov and Shane tries his hardest to crawl into a corner and die because he just wanted to share how he protein loads, you guys, why did you have to make it so weird.

Scott Hunter helps not at all by making blueberry and banana smoothies with Kip. Shirtless.

[lavenderprose]

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."

[xiaq]

Hello I don’t have time to write this, so I need someone else to.

What if we had a Heated Rivalry AU in which the boys elect to engage in some psychological warfare to ensure their coming out isn’t a shitshow within their teams.

Who can they depend upon for assistance? Women.

So Shane gives Ilya’s number to Jackie as “Lily” to add to the Voyagers WAG chat and Ilya gives Shane’s number as “Jane” to one of the Bears’ wives to add to their WAG chat and after they’ve both endeared themselves to these ladies and have built a rapport/trust with them, they admit that they’re not women, and are very anxious/scared about coming out because of hockey culture.

And the WAGs are like, oh, ok, we need to all make a serious effort to work on our husbands and boyfriends and ensure they’re not going to be dicks about this. So they start laying groundwork, encouraging their partners to participate in philanthropy events with queer kids, fundraising for You Can Play, camps, etc. And then they’re extra supportive/proud of their efforts. So anyone who isn’t already onboard is simply Pavloved into being an ally and anyone who is still resistant stays quiet as the locker room vibe shifts.

The next phase is when the WAGs are like, hey, we know you’re not out publicly, but do you want to come to private meetups and stuff? We can all keep it a secret! Even from our boys! And Ilya would really shine here, being dramatic about “oh yes, I would love to spend time with you beautiful ladies but I am afraid of what you say when you know who I am, because I am big famous celebrity but so misunderstood, you see🥺😔.”

And finally after they’ve made tons of assurances that they’ll still love him and treat him the same, and they won’t tell their partners, he tells them his identity. It’s a shock, but they get over it quickly, especially when he shows up in person for the next book club or whatever with a ton of delicious snacks and wine (I imagine hijinks occur on at least one occasion when one of the wives is hosting something and her husband comes home early and they all pitch in to hide Ilya and sneak him out).

Shane’s approach would be much more bashful at the start—the ladies love him because he’s shy but earnest and clearly pleased that they’re making an effort to include him and they all figure out quickly that whatever profession this man is in is very toxic but also he loves and understands hockey on a level that probably eclipses any of their partners so they’re like ohhh he’s in the industry, what if he’s one of the trainers or something?? No wonder he’s so nervous. And there are multiple behind-the-scenes bets over who this man is. Every time these women are at a game they’re squinting at staff like…is it you?? Are you the one who has turned Ilya The Slut Rozanov into a doting loverboy??

But anyway, they’re like we’ve had Jane(?) for a day and a half but if anyone is mean to him we’ll kill everyone in this room and then ourselves. But also they get to see him come out of his shell as he gets more familiar with them— A, because he has great sex tips?? It’s always the shy ones, amirite? (they are especially impressed by this after he tells them who he is). But also that boy is just dying for an avenue in which he can be appreciated for his cattiness; I know he’s keeping them fed in the group chat with his little asides about other players/league gossip. Tell me I’m wrong.

All this to say, when Shane and Ilya finally do decide to come out, on their own terms, all the WAGs are on board on both sides of the equation (maybe they even start cahooting once they know the coming out is imminent?).

So I’m picturing after one of the games— during the playoffs when all the WAGs are in attendance—they decide that Ilya is just going to show up afterward when the ladies arrive to congratulate their menfolk. So there are a bunch of cameras around when Shane is like, “Hey everyone! Lily is here!” And plants a kiss on Ilya and before any of them can react, their wives are like “AYYY ILYA! So good to see you, girl. Give me a hug.”

And the three journalists in the room who are leaving after getting their postgame soundbites are like, wait, holy shit, turn the camera back on, are you getting this?? As the WAGs all converge on Ilya and then disperse to their shell-shocked partners. Some of whom are like, “is this real?? You knew?? You’re on a first-name basis with Ilya Rozanov?”

“Oh yeah, Ilya has been coming to book club whenever he can make it for like a year.”

“ILYA ROZANOV HAS BEEN IN MY HOUSE?? Why didn’t you TELL ME?”

“Baby, didn’t you say after working with the kids from that camp you understood how important it was for people to come out on their own terms?”

”I…did say that. Yes.”

“Besides, he’s the one that introduced me to that microbrew you love so much.”

“My favorite beer. Came. From Ilya Rozanov.”

Anyway. Thanks to the ladies’ overwhelming presence, and their assistance running interference for that first exposure, none of the guys say (or have a chance to say) anything problematic. Shane and Ilya both give little soundbites about how awesome the Voyager WAGs have been and how supportive the team is in general––Exibit A, the guys are totally chill with Ilya coming into the family room! Obviously they trust their captain to keep his relationship separate from hockey (casual stat drop). At which point, Shane also very casually says that the Bears WAGs have been super kind to him as well, and Ilya confirms that HIS team is even MORE supportive of their relationship.

So when the news hits, the Bears WAGs are all like “Yeah, we ARE more supportive” posting selfies they’ve taken with Shane on the rare occurrences he’s been able to join them in person for something. And the Bears players are like, ok we didn’t know, but we’re not going to let the Voyagers show us up. Obviously we’re more supportive of Roz than they are of Hollander.

And then the commissioner can’t walk back all of the ensuing online (mostly positive) fervor, so they have to release a statement about how supportive the league is in general and no, of course we’ve known about this all along, we certainly weren’t the last to know. We’ve definitely been aware of this longer than approximately 50 players and all their wives. Total allies for sure. ✊🏼

Great success.

[sheheatedonmyrivalry]

There is a kid out there who did every single one of his school essays and projects and short stories and friendly introductions at the beginning of the year about Shane Hollander. He did his book reports on the books Shane recommended in interviews. He saved his money to buy that stupid cologne Shane advertised. He got a puck from Shane once at warm ups and he slept with it in his bed for three weeks. He writes his moms name on his stick tape because Shane did it first. He watches the Olympics in awe. He gets into fights with kids at school about whose a better hockey player and its Shane all the way, no matter what the other kids told him or what their moms and dads said. Shane is the best.

And this kid did not have a lot of friends. His teachers thought he wasn't very smart because he made everything about hockey. And they dismissed him when he struggled with math and reading. "if you could just put some of your hockey energy into school, then maybe you would get better." His classmates laughed at the hockey themed valentines day cards him and his mom had to hand make because nowhere was selling hockey themed valentines day cards. And they laugh at him when he repeats the same thing over and over about "getting pucks deep, pucks deep, pucks deep." When he would play all by himself on the yard pretending he was skating, picking up any big stick he could find on the ground, they'd push him around. "Can we play? We'll be defenders" and ram him and take his stick. And he'd just go through all the penalties they would have just gotten over and over again until he can calm down. He celebrated every birthday at the ice rink in his full hockey gear even though he didn't really have classmates showing up. Not for lack of invite.

And his parents try to steer him away from it. They try and watch new sports, they try and get him to watch kids shows, get into things kids his age like, but all he wants to do is watch reruns of the metros cup wins. Wants to wear his hat backwards with his black shirt because that's how Shane looks in the interviews. Memorizes the answers he gives in french even though this kid never learned french in school. And its useless. This kid is hooked and they just kinda have to ride this wave.

So when the announcement comes for the Game Changers camp, these parents do absolutely everything to get him there. They don't care what it takes, this is like a light for all of them really in the midst of all the bullying at school and the meltdowns at home and the obsessive routines that fall apart if even one thing is out of place.

And they explain to the camp that their boy might have a hard time. Might need some time to adjust. That he struggles with math, and reading, and can get caught up in all the rules sometimes. Preemptively trying to say "he's not a bad kid. he's trying his best."

So at the end of the first day, his parents are prepared for a meltdown. Its new, its a lot of kids, the rink can get loud and cold, and he doesn't always do well with transitioning out of hockey. He's hard to pull off the ice at home.

And they can see some upset under the surface when they arrive. He clearly doesn't want to go home. Thats no surprise.

What is a surprise is the way Shane gets down on one knee next to where the boy is sitting upset on the ground. He doesn't move to touch him. He just gets down and the two of them softly have a chat. The boy is tugging on his hair and nodding at what Shane says. And eventually he stands and the parents walk over to them.

"You must be the parents. Its good to meet you," Shane says softly. "I was just going over some things about tomorrow. So that way he would know the schedule."

And they can see their son isn't quite happy, still clearly exhausted. He'll nap in the car and be grumpy at dinner. But he is much more regulated than they expected him to be.

"And, I was telling him about my schedule when I go home. About getting some quite time, making sure I can decompress. I think that's what all good hockey players need, right buddy?"

"Right buddy," he repeats.

And for all the understanding that seems to be there, his parents are just grateful that of all the things their kid could have a special interest in, its Shane Hollander.

[megadan94]

I think that the train really was just trying to send Jane home, but the problem was, she didn't have a home, she was endlessly moving between places and never settling, so instead it just put her on an endless commute, always travelling, but to nowhere.

That's what trains are for, to take you home, to take you where you're supposed to be, but what is it supposed to do when there's nowhere for you to go?

Jane's character arc throughout the book is about deciding where, when, and who she wants her home to be. Like August says "time, place, person".

On one hand, she wants to go back to where she was before, but it's not really her home, she has connections there, attachments, but she can't really build a life there, that's why she was always on the move.

On the other hand, she wants to start a relationship with August, but she doesn't know if it's possible to really settle down with her. I mean, moving to another city is a big commitment, but another century?!? To the distant future? That's unthinkable, especially for someone you just met. And besides, she's not even sure if a relationship would last, most of her own have been short term. She also feels homesick for where she was before, she's not ready to leave it all behind.

So she's stuck between a rock and a hard place, between a place that was her home but isn't anymore, and a place that could be her home but isn't yet. When she tries to get off the train, it doesn't know where to put her. In the 70's? Now? So it just doesn't.

She talks about going back to "where she's supposed to be", but where is that exactly? Where and when is she supposed to be? She goes back and forth on this throughout the book, floating around the idea of her staying and what that would be like, but also saying she needs to go back.

She loves August, but she's also insecure about how much August loves her. She says that August will forget her by the time she's 30, and says that it's okay to move on soon after she leaves. She knows that she'll never love anyone more than August, but she doesn't know if August feels the same.

I think that in that moment on the tracks, when August risks her life in a romantic gesture to save her, that's when Jane is sure that August can be her home, and so, after a 45 year commute, the train finally sends her home, because she has one now.

And it does specifically send her there, not just release her. She's put on the platform, on a day that's important to her girlfriend, as if she were just a normal passenger travelling to see their partner.

[haystarlight]

To think every CMQ book is dedicated to a different group within the queer community

RWRB is for queer celebrities. People in the public eye, who were famous before coming out and whose coming out experiences were affected by their fame. Maybe the internet or some toxic reporter or something forced them to come out before they were ready, maybe they had a deadline on coming out. Maybe they had to consider how their true identity would affect their career and reputation. And yet, when they do come out, they see all the fans and other queers that feel inspired by them. All the lives they've touched. Is that worth it?

OLS is for two different groups. The old queers, who were alive in the 60s/70s/80s, who fought cops and protested and risked their lives for what they believed in; who may or may not have survived the AIDS epidemic, who got us everything we have today. And also for the younger queers, born in the late 90s or after, that grew up in a more accepting world thanks to their efforts. August and the gang being out and happy and themselves is exactly what Jane fought for, and it's an extra happy ending that she gets to join in.

IKSW is for queer kids that grew up in conservative places, with religious families. How confusing and difficult it is to still love your hometown and your family and your religion even though you know you can't be your full self there. Do you stay and fight for it to become better? Do you escape, leaving loved ones behind? It's a difficult decision.

And finally, TP is for the sex positivity, being comfortable with your sexuality and unconventional relationships. That's pretty self explanatory, there's so much sex going on unabashedly in this book. It's a love letter to horny and kinky queers.

Also, specifically to non monogamous people too, because there's a lot of non monogamy in that book. Open relationships, couples bringing another person in, a 4some with 2 guys of the same name (that one's funny), etc.

You could also add it's specifically for the trans/non binary community, because Theo's coming out is a big part of the book.

Idk, I think it's neat that CMQ does that with their books. I'm excited to learn the plot of CMQ5.

[spicybabyhoney]

[bad3idea3]

So after Shane leaves the Metros, the team starts sending out Hayden Pike to do press to cover their asses and keep their more asshole-ish players from saying slurs in front of reporters.

After one inconsequential game, a reporter asks about what Coach Theriault and Hayden think of the future of hockey with their former star player playing with his husband. Theriault says some shitty PR nothing answer laced with so much disdain that Hayden just. can't. take. anymore.

Obviously his team wants him to shit-talk his best friend and de facto brother-in-law who happen to be playing the best hockey of a generation (he will never let Ilya know he thinks this). The reporter obviously is chomping at the bit for a "dissension in the locker room" story that will make his life even more miserable. So, fuck the both of them.

"and how about you Hayden, what do you think about the future of hockey with Hollander and Rozanov?"

"Well, I think they should get on having kids, like surrogacy or adoption of something"

Dead silence, the reporter blinks in confusion. He can feel the glare coming off Theriault burning into the side of his face. He doesn’t turn his head and blithely goes on.

“Yeah, specifically 3 girls. I have 3 girls so if they have 3 girls, we’d have a whole hockey team to start in the pee-wees and get to the PWHL. My Ruby would obviously be a defender. She’d spend her whole life in the box, but she'd be such a good enforcer, especially if she was playing with her sisters.  Jade is sneaky fast, so forward for her. And I know Amber is a baby, but I swear she’s got goalie eyes. My son Arthur is already the peacemaker of the family, so Uncle Shane could start training him up on all the rules so he can be our ref. But Shane and Ilya would have to get themselves another defender and a right or left wing with a center. Yep, that’s the future in hockey I’d love to see with Hollander and Rozanov”

Thus Hayden makes headlines bigger than any other time in his whole career. His time in the locker room does get shittier, but it’s all worth it for the call from Shane telling him that Ilya loved his vision of the future so much he cried looking at baby girl names online and researching PWHL teams.

[deja-b00]

somehow it comes up that troy had a crush on shane and was going to ask for his number. and after troy gets ribbed by his teammates and ilya makes a big scene, shane is like, “well i never would’ve gone out with you lol.”

and troy smiles, “right, because you were with roz the whole time.”

“i mean, yes, but also because you and dallas kent spent years calling me and jj ‘rush hour’ and asking hayden if his wife was his beard to cover up his big gay relationship with me.”

the rest of the centaurs blink. harris puts his head in his hands and groans.

and troy’s like, “oh. right. sorry about that :/“

[mayjuvac]

some amazing additions from the tags

[lavenderprose]

There's never been a fandom ghost like Cliff Marleau. He's a vampire. He's an ally. He's a latent bisexual. He a little confused but he got the spirit. He's imprinted on Ilya like a duckling. He has three sisters, all of them lesbians. He is 42. He is 28. He's French Canadian. He's from Florida. He is being psychosexually tormented by his best friend's thot husband. He is Hollanov's platonic third. He has a beautiful, terrifying wife. He's made out with Ilya but they were in Paris it's chill. Of course he's slept with men he's a fucking hockey player. He is Ilya's ex-husband.

[darkstarknight03]

The concept of Shane being in voyageurs superhell post outing and meanwhile in every press interview the other centaurs will NOT refer to Ilya as anything other than Shane Hollander’s Boyfriend.

“Yeah, Shane Hollander’s boyfriend scored that nasty goal in the third, tying up the game, really brought the energy back in—”

“There’s a lot of good chemistry on the ice — playing on the first line with Hollander’s boyfriend and Barrett is some of the best hockey I’ve ever played.”

“Yeah, the team is really pulling together for playoffs. When you’ve got an all-star like Shane Hollander’s fiancé as captain, he really makes you believe in yourselves. What? Oh, yeah, apparently he’s been holding that out on us since January. They still call each other boyfriends, though — I think cap has a grudge against the French language.”

The league keeps telling them to stop and Harris KNOWS that but also their engagement numbers have never been so high and it’s definitely not just because they’re going to playoffs…

[foxes-in-love]