Surprise, bitch

29, NB.

[dollogy]

Kathleen 🫶🏻

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[writerxwren]

Has this scene from Kit Saves The Day lived rent-free in your brain since childhood or are you normal

[caffedorzo]

spin the wheel to be assigned a mysterious source of income - who will grant you 10k usd every month without fail!!

will you take the money?

yes

no

bald / nuance

Voting ended onAug 1

[lumi-lex]

prev is ____ coded

deer/doe

bunny/rabbit

cat/kitty

dog/puppy

sheep

other (put it in the tags)

Voting ended onJul 31

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[topgunvolleyballscene]

how often are you getting a headache

daily

weekly

monthly

couple times a year

yearly or less

Voting ended onJul 23

[topgunvolleyballscene]

how often are you getting a tummy ache

daily

weekly

monthly

every couple months

yearly or less

Voting ended onJul 23

[topgunvolleyballscene]

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

[mothcub]

Sausage meeting.

[not-your-average-url]

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[apatheticfluorescence]

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

[headspace-hotel]

Shakespeare is like this

[insufferablepirate]

Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away

Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal

[copperbadge]

THE ORANGES

[teashoesandhair]

Time for my biannual freakout about Two Crabs

[kilncreatures]

forest dogy

[bumblebeebats]

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

[slowspinningredemption]

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

[acakewalkofcrocodiles]

The Hat Man is our greatest export

[unfavorableinstigation]

@drifting-knightjar it's like... The philosophy behind American meds is just different. You can always tell the American meds because they feel like they were developed by Victorian mad scientists with access to Space Future pharmaceutical labs. The first time I tried Cepacol - which, for those unfamiliar, is a sore throat lozenge that's sort of a salt sugar lick of local anaesthetic - I thought I was going into anaphylaxis. Fisherman's Friends just blast your sinuses with menthol.

Anyway, in Canada and (I assume) Mexico, American meds are mixed in with other, local stuff, so the contrast is easy to spot. The best way I can encapsulate it is that the active ingredients in Canada's beloved local brand of cough syrup, Buckley's, are menthol, camphor, and two alternative types of baking soda. The active ingredient in American cough syrups is codeine.

[drifting-knightjar]

is this true across most all medicines or is this just a cold medicine thing? it is perhaps of relevance that i dont really fw the quils and such bc i tried them once and it scared me off

[unfavorableinstigation]

It depends what you mean by cold medicines, but it's definitely not just the cough syrups - I wasn't kidding when I said Cepacol was a local anesthetic, its active ingredient is benzocaine. Absolutely terrifying when you've never tried it before and feel your throat and tongue going numb...

We don't really have any local OTC anti-nausea or allergy meds that I can think of to give a good comparison on those fronts; I think people mostly use the American brands or local generic equivalents, though, so that may be an answer in itself?

[nimblermortal]

Vague impression as an American: this is true as a philosophy. I have heard our ibuprofen comes in bigger quantities. I have noticed that if you want to get Tylenol in regular dosage rather than EXTREME STRENGTH you have to look through the shelf very closely (and still come up wrong by accident).

We also medicate more frequently - when I lived in Germany and asked a pharmacy for Vitamin D they told me, "Just go to Italy??"

Note that I am also currently on a migraine and not thinking straight, so. Eminently correctable.

[unfavorableinstigation]

MY GOD

I understand I live at Cousin Oskaar's latitude adn should not be counted, but do you think they're willing to prescribe "trip to Italy" as a treatment billable to the healthcare system?

[rainintheevening]

What is prev to you?

the smell of woodsmoke in the dark

sunlight glittering on drifts of snow

opening chords to a classic song after an ad break on the radio

daisies in a mason jar

the curve in the road you always take a bit too fast

blank notebook with a leather cover

a stone church with carvings and spires and stained-glass

a cool pillow and a warm blanket at midnight

playlist that makes sense to no one else

yellow leaf floating down a clear cold river

silver fog over green hills and warm hands in raincoat pockets

a strain of violin music floating through a crowded subway

Voting ended onJul 18

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

[zhoudadudugongjin]

me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment

[inthefallofasparrow]