spin the wheel to be assigned a mysterious source of income - who will grant you 10k usd every month without fail!!
will you take the money?
yes
no
bald / nuance
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𓃗
The Bowery Presents
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Origami Around
NASA
art blog(derogatory)
Monterey Bay Aquarium
almost home

blake kathryn

titsay
Today's Document

Andulka
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

bliss lane
Cosmic Funnies
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KIROKAZE
EXPECTATIONS

oozey mess
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@captainsleepingbeauty
spin the wheel to be assigned a mysterious source of income - who will grant you 10k usd every month without fail!!
will you take the money?
yes
no
bald / nuance
prev is ____ coded
deer/doe
bunny/rabbit
cat/kitty
dog/puppy
sheep
other (put it in the tags)
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard
Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis
how often are you getting a headache
daily
weekly
monthly
couple times a year
yearly or less
how often are you getting a tummy ache
daily
weekly
monthly
every couple months
yearly or less
Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too
Sausage meeting.
I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.
I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.
"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?
thy mother
Art thou for fucking real
some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it
Shakespeare is like this
Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away
Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal
THE ORANGES
Time for my biannual freakout about Two Crabs
forest dogy
so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day
i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.
The Hat Man is our greatest export
@drifting-knightjar it's like... The philosophy behind American meds is just different. You can always tell the American meds because they feel like they were developed by Victorian mad scientists with access to Space Future pharmaceutical labs. The first time I tried Cepacol - which, for those unfamiliar, is a sore throat lozenge that's sort of a salt sugar lick of local anaesthetic - I thought I was going into anaphylaxis. Fisherman's Friends just blast your sinuses with menthol.
Anyway, in Canada and (I assume) Mexico, American meds are mixed in with other, local stuff, so the contrast is easy to spot. The best way I can encapsulate it is that the active ingredients in Canada's beloved local brand of cough syrup, Buckley's, are menthol, camphor, and two alternative types of baking soda. The active ingredient in American cough syrups is codeine.
is this true across most all medicines or is this just a cold medicine thing? it is perhaps of relevance that i dont really fw the quils and such bc i tried them once and it scared me off
It depends what you mean by cold medicines, but it's definitely not just the cough syrups - I wasn't kidding when I said Cepacol was a local anesthetic, its active ingredient is benzocaine. Absolutely terrifying when you've never tried it before and feel your throat and tongue going numb...
We don't really have any local OTC anti-nausea or allergy meds that I can think of to give a good comparison on those fronts; I think people mostly use the American brands or local generic equivalents, though, so that may be an answer in itself?
Vague impression as an American: this is true as a philosophy. I have heard our ibuprofen comes in bigger quantities. I have noticed that if you want to get Tylenol in regular dosage rather than EXTREME STRENGTH you have to look through the shelf very closely (and still come up wrong by accident).
We also medicate more frequently - when I lived in Germany and asked a pharmacy for Vitamin D they told me, "Just go to Italy??"
Note that I am also currently on a migraine and not thinking straight, so. Eminently correctable.
MY GOD
I understand I live at Cousin Oskaar's latitude adn should not be counted, but do you think they're willing to prescribe "trip to Italy" as a treatment billable to the healthcare system?
What is prev to you?
the smell of woodsmoke in the dark
sunlight glittering on drifts of snow
opening chords to a classic song after an ad break on the radio
daisies in a mason jar
the curve in the road you always take a bit too fast
blank notebook with a leather cover
a stone church with carvings and spires and stained-glass
a cool pillow and a warm blanket at midnight
playlist that makes sense to no one else
yellow leaf floating down a clear cold river
silver fog over green hills and warm hands in raincoat pockets
a strain of violin music floating through a crowded subway
Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment
Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment
1925 c. Callot Soeurs evening gown of silk satin with metal embroidery. This dress was owned by Molly Tondaiman, the Rani of Pudukkottai. From The Fashion Museum, Bath.
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen