stars are better off without us

martina. INTJ. mad writer, zombie. finland, hades, outer space. occasionally nsfw.

[shrimpy-in-wonderland]

Some Queenie fo today

[sapphicgardensinmymind]

i’ve never seen a mouse that looks so much like a mouse before

[great-and-small]

She looks like she belongs on the cover of a beloved illustrated children’s book 🥺

[psychedelicflyingshark]

We need like a month where nothing happens and there's no repercussions we all just stay in bed and hibernate and nothing goes wrong

[evilbuildingsblog]

Abandoned house illuminated by my car’s headlights, Rockbridge County, Virginia.

[otakv-trxsh]

The ghosts who live there:

[trueshredguitar]

i love that post thats like “never trust how you feel about your life after 9pm” that shit changed my life. every time i feel bad i look at the clock and i’m like Aha It’s 10:26 PM You Cannot Fucking Fool Me

[tatesharon]

So young, so brazen, so unholy.

[piduai]

i condone and support every single vile deed my problematic faves have done. not only that i think they should have done bigger and worse atrocities than already committed. i think that would have been funny

[draculasswife-deactivated202212]

The Devil's Daughter by Margaret Lindsay Williams, 1917.

[guooey]

somewhere in the world right now there is a cat making bread and purring. I need you to always remember that 

[fuckyeahborgia]

[caterinasforzas-deactivated2014]

#actually the funniest moment of the show #CESARE I AM TRYING TO PRAY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG NOW #um well you see first i banged caterina sforza and then she might have refused to come to rome and i might have killed giovanni sforza #BUT IT WAS TOTALLY JUSTIFIED BECAUSE HE BREATHED LUCREZIA’S AIR I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS JUST BEING NORMAL #THAT IS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO DAD #and then rodrigo’s like #oh what the fuck ever god forgives you god always forgives you #you incestuous literal bastard brother-killing fuck #just get out of my sight #WHATEVER #his face in the fourth gif #it’s like the only time he actively regrets something #I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME ONE MINUTE WE WERE FUCKING THE NEXT I WAS DIGGING THROUGH HER COUSIN’S CHEST CAVITY #and rodrigo wishes that he could say this is weird for cesare #but nothing is weird for cesare because he’s cesare

[jigsawgirl96-deactivated2022030]

It’s like I have this disease that makes me place online orders

[icarusmyth-deactivated20160714]

yeah i’m ok! i’m totally ok i just (takes a deep breath) (starts screaming)

[programmerhumour]

also no

[03josten]

it IS a phase, mom

[pr0jection]

show me a permanent state of the self, mom

[faceheightknifefight]

Impermanence does not mean insignificance, mom

[filthychonga-deactivated2019120]

The key to a happier life is being in a constant state of change and acceptance, mom

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[hkjhgjklhkjl]

i made an aesthetic generator now you can discover urself

[maccymacdonald]

once i figure out how to pull off ‘feminine dad’ it’s over for you bitches

[strongermonster]

i jus got back from foolin around w this girl n she had her bed out in the middle of the got-damned nowhere, like not against a wall, not against any wall at all, just in the middle of th fucking room surrounded by this gauzy material shit on a hoop above the bed w some fairy lights all stuck on it for ~aesthetic~ and the whole fuckdamn time i kept thinkin HOW does this woman sleep like this?! monsters come getcha from any and all directions!! snatch u off the bed from the fuckin top, the sides, the bottom NO DIRECTION IS SAFE !! “you wanna stay the night babe?” NO!!! I DO NOT!!! i wanna live thru the night & not wake up to demons caressing my head from your unprotected bed space!! i feel cursed having just fucked on it..! got some dark interloper followin me home hopin i got the same shitty setup!! no sir!! 2 walls for this biché. 4 if i could get em. sleep in a fuckin box w a lil hole cut in it. i need protection!!! 0/10 setup. any type of translucent canopy over a bed is ASKING for a ghost to stand on the other side and watch u sleep. wake up to a hazy outline “o honey is that u?” NO ITS A DEMON. i cannot believe i suffered this tonight. the things i do for a beautiful girl honeSTLY

[strongermonster]

it means im afeared my pussy got ghosts now

[elodieunderglass]

Hey OP, it looks like it’s been a few months since you posted, are you able to provide an update? are you safe? did you heal? I’m honestly still very upset by the whole concept/situation that you introduced me to, and I hope that you have made a full recovery. BECAUSE I HAVEN’T

[kassasaurus-rex]

jj the world is still worried about your haunted bajeener you gotta update folks

[strongermonster]

every time i spread my legs vincent price narrates the monologue from the haunted mansion ride but other than that i’ve been good

[kiwimidnight]

Dacre Montgomery as Billy Hargrove in Stranger Things 3 (2019).