oui, je t’aime

mid-20s | they/he lesbian | got embarrassed by my own interests i had to make a sideblog

[koldefingre]

Jane Hollander x Calvin Klein

[hr-rep]

have you read any good shane breakdown fics?

I’ll call this my compilation of Shane Hollander emotional h/c fics :}}

Something You Can Fix (series) I cannot recommend this enough, truly. It’s based off the idea that somebody records Shane & Rose’s conversation and posts it online.

Dig Two Graves this is a very, very good fic with a very very well-written breakdown from Shane and it’s also a very tough read. There is a graphic self-mutilation in this fic so read with caution!!!

Change, Like the Sky Shane unintentionally attempts suicide after getting outted in this one, so, please, read with caution!

A Year Safe in Your Heart I’ve recommended this one before, it’s a time travel fic where Shane has a. tough time. I really find the way his emotional health is discussed very compelling.

Crystal, Come Right In less of a breakdown fic but I really like this one, it’s an expansion on a possible version of the Club scene where things go differently. Bit of a spoiler, I guess, but it does have a happy ending :}

One Day I’ll Watch as You’re Leaving (and Life Will Lose All It’s Meaning) this is a Hollanov break-up fic + Shane’s very passive in this one so just keep in mind that that is the Shane you will be reading about. Additionally! Shane deals a lot with his suicidal thoughts in this fic, so keep that in mind.

How to Be a Rogue another tough read, please be aware that this discusses Shane being sexually assaulted and it being public knowledge.

It’s All Canadian Vodka’s Fault yeah so Shane thinks Ilya died and this is him Reacting. I really, reallyyyy like Shane’s internal monologue in this one

(Incomplete) Ilya; My Ilyusha there is truly so much potential here, this is another time travel fic and I’m Very obsessed with what’s been written so far. Book!Shane gets sent to TV!Universe and, unsurprisingly, there are problems with this. Very veryyyy good so far!

This isn’t totally what you mean BUT I would be remiss not to add a big fav of mine :}

Hope It Hurts Like You Hurt Me I’ve said this about this fic before: it has one of my favorite blowjobs scenes ever :} and unlike these other fics, not a sad breakdown nor would I Really call it a breakdown, it’s Shane Standing On Business

[russianblush]

well yes i do think ilya has impeccable and near perfect penmanship in both english and russian while shane’s handwriting is literally chicken scratch but ilya is fluent in shanes scribbles of course

[carefulyou]

i also need like a hollanov love island au. idk if ill be able to write it myself but i can always try

[carefulyou]

watching new love island season and i just think all the women should be making out sorryyyy

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[therealrashid]

i know this was like a month ago but jacob on the shift saying what makes connor so perfect for the role is that he was so good at playing “what i wanted out of ilya, which was a slyness. that ilya’s always trying not to laugh, especially at shane. that he doesn’t want shane to realise how much he likes him, and how charmed, how endlessly charmed he is by making shane uncomfortable. it actually lights him up inside, he really loves it.”

literally the mandate of heaven that jacob tierney has 😭😭😭 it lights him up inside i-

[therealrashid]

something something ilya likes to cause a hurt then soothe it.

these images are the same to me. he likes to push too hard to bruise to needle to sink his teeth in to know he’s making an impact. and then follow it up with a good fucking or to say in so many words i love you. to know he is loved enough for his impact to be felt. it lights him up inside. and god you just KNOW shane bruises up so pretty, and he looks so pretty when he cries 😮‍💨

[therealrashid]

and by popular demand. of course shane has built up so many layers of protection in his unimpeachable skill his work ethic his diet his routine he is going through the motions like a little roomba living in a state of desperately hoping no one looks at him long enough to see anything real. he’s constantly at a remove from the world his walls are up so high. and here comes ilya who does look too long who wants to touch and push and prod and provoke, who gets a reaction out of shane every time. those carefully built up walls and he crashes through them so easily. for shane i think it has to hurt a bit to feel real 😵‍💫

[gaysie]

going to be so awkward when s2 heated rivalry press brings up the plot point of shane’s restrictive diet and hudson and connor have to pretend they’re not doing a turbo version of it in real life

[seraphollander]

always almost

[jesterlesbian]

thank u aika 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[hudconera]

"i am thinking only about you right now. a million memories. thank you for those"

[lesbianlandry]

[mrmnn]

That’s where they live

[yearningendlessly]

everything is romantic ♡

[gurlsrool]

I think we need to talk more about Shane in the 24 hours following a Cup win. Like that is peak uninhibited Shane Hollander. He’s kissing babies. He’s chugging champagne by the bottle. He’s attempting to climb every surface. He’s attempting the worm? He’s going to the club bathroom, sending Ilya a hole pic and a 1200 word text describing all the ways he deserves to be fucked. Then he’s going back out and attempting the worm again

[trigona-necrophaga]

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

[mythmagicetc]

the way shane’s brand deals and ad campaigns made him much more recognizable to non-hockey fans, jeopardizing his ability to have much of a sex life apart from ilya, while also ensuring that ilya was taunted by images of him year-round…the way shane spent the my moon my man montage getting more famous and more awarded and more celebrated and, simultaneously, more and more ilya’s