I feel very stupid asking this, but maybe you as a trans person who's also a lesbian could help me
I think I am a lesbian, I'm almost sure but I'm still struggling with my sexuality a lot, I don't really know if it's comphet or trauma related to men/religion.
I've tried to talk with groups of lesbians, but they have been very unkind, and I feel more confused now
The thing is, and I'm sorry if I sound ignorant, if I'm attracted to a trans woman am I bisexual? Because so many people told me lesbians are only attracted to cis women, and I know some people have genital preference, I do prefer pussy more, but if I meet a trans woman, and she has everything i want, then I like her, all of her, including her genitals, I don't know if that makes me bi, because I still don't want to have sex with a man, and being honest I think is so fucking hot that she could make me pregnant and like "feel me" idk I think I'm sounding stupid 😭
I feel very guilty for feeling this way, I don't want to harm anyone, but I feel so lonely, I really want to be part of a community where I can ask things and they won't judge
trans women are women, so it wouldn’t necessarily make you bisexual! personally, i identify as a lesbian even though i’ve been attracted to plenty of nonbinary people. lesbian is just involving non-men :-) those groups sounded a lot like trans-exclusionary lesbians, which is precisely what lesbianism is NOT about. a lot of lesbianism is about the complexity and vastness OF gender, if that makes sense. so many lesbians are trans or gnc (gender non-conforming). i think it’s also important to remember that although sexuality labels can be awesome (i LOVE identifying and labeling as a nonbinary person and a lesbian!) they aren’t necessary, and don’t have strict details as to what they define.
off topic, but i feel as though lesbianism in mainstream media has been boiled down to what i saw someone on tiktok describe as “picnic lesbians” which they described as essentially non-sexual fems who are all about how the relationship LOOKS and appears, and honestly a lot of the time subjecting themselves to the male gaze and making themselves consumable if that makes sense. i would highly recommend indulging in books that touch on these topics of butchness, gender, and specifically POC lesbians as these often have a much better grasp on the intersectionality of gender and sexuality.
but yeah, especially because you wouldn’t feel that attraction to a man, i think you could definitely use the label lesbian. but i would be careful about approaching sex with trans women from the viewpoint of strictly genitalia, because it can quickly be viewed as fetishization which is a huge issue for trans people when dating/hooking up with cis people. not saying that you are at all, but it can be misinterpreted that way.
sorry if this is jumbled!!! i have been going nonstop since like 7 am lols (it’s now almost 2 am omg)
