[girldraki]

[should-be-sleeping]

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

[should-be-sleeping]

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

[should-be-sleeping]

I mean this with all due respect:

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.

[joanthreatt]

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

[beatrice-of-the-stars]

This shit reads like a tumblr post

[vermilionstarlight]

the beach that. makes you dead

[tastylemonbread]

[letterful]

[shabbytigers]

in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

[shabbytigers]

hi this tag perfectly encapsulates the FML coefficient of my life as a non-german speaker living in germany and i’m going to frame it

[tainbocuailnge]

skybox is funny to me because the backstory for his association with rhodes island is that he was the grunt that brought doctor meals back when doctor was in prison in columbia and he liked doctor so much that he was like i Have to suck up to this one, they're gonna be the contact that lets me make it big someday, and then through a long series of coincidences he ended up being right about that, so yeah he's a rotten corrupt government official, but he's in rhodes island's pocket and abusing his authority to get oripathy meds into columbia, so,

[avakynx]

[hungwy]

one final cadaveric spasm for the idiot pigiron husk that was prototype "pjackk" jack

[triangleguy]

my sister found a movie on the roku called "slappy and the stinkers" and we're all watching it and this made me laugh so hard i had to make an edit

[triangleguy]

she just made this😭

[wizardarchetypes]

I just looked up the plot for this movie bc I somehow missed it as a kid.

????????????????

[capnsoapy]

okay but seriously what's going on with [tumblr] moderation right now

[capnsoapy]

okay but seriously seriously

[capnsoapy]

Not even in an "I'm outraged" kind of way, in a "genuinely perplexed as to what could be going on behind the scenes to produce these outcomes." I want to stop staring at the shadows on the wall and exit Plato's allegory of the website moderation

[derovalfnolem]

[rocatex-deactivated20260317]

this feels like dragging around a mummified corpse thats dressed as a clown

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[birlinterrupted]

its crazy that the old british boys school model actually existed and wasn’t invented as some sort of upper class gay guy bdsm thing

[birlinterrupted]

british boys boarding school is the closest an actually existing society has ever been to what i have heard of a/b/o

[toskarin]

smash bros is just kind of a funny concept for a game in general. you've got all kinds of game mechanics and characters flying at each other, and they've all gotta collide and Do Something

what's steve minecraft doing against captain falcon? they had to ask how a falcon punch would interact with minecraft blocks. what if the persona 5 protag fought solid snake? they had to answer what would happen if denji was tom and refined

[noknowshame]

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

[leiten7]

[sacred-portal]

[makesomenoise]

🌈