Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

this is me and these are the words i type ☼ • ☾ • ↑ about

[crawleigh]

bob ross: *paints another tree* because everybody needs a friend

crowley, alone in his flat, crying: nice

[cctinsleybaxter]

aziraphale: there are love vibes here

crowley: what the fuck are you on about 

aziraphale: oh it’s okay you don’t know what love is

crowley: [staring daggers at him sobbing internally while 19 different romantic pop songs loop through his head bass boosted]

[crockpotcauldron]

Boring old werewolf instincts:

Sexual jealousy

Constant aggression

Rigid hierarchy

Must win sports

Homophobia And Sexism Is Normal™

Eat people

Cool new werewolf instincts:

There is no five second rule

Corvids are friends

Hang out as a pack

Karaoke

Gotta pee

[mckeelix]

Also consider:

Separation anxiety

Unconditional love and loyalty

Being able to sleep in almost any situation or position

Irresistible urge to chase squirrels and rabbits

Hating the vacuum cleaner

Wanting to do everything with friends

Loudly and repeatedly announcing to housemates that someone is at the door

Long, shouted conversations to other werewolves across the neighborhood (bonus points at 2am)

Taking advantage of any and all free food

Werewolf-vampire solidarity

Fighting any animal that trespasses into the backyard

Boundless energy

Too much energy

Eating out of the trash if it smells tasty

Being bad at sports because you don’t want to let anyone else take the ball from you. Then destroying the ball in front of everyone because you want to make a point

Trying to fight things 10x your size like a fucking idiot

Being unable to hold a grudge for more than a few hours

Trying to make people feel bad for you over mundane things that aren’t actually that bad. And somehow succeeding.

Snoring

Needing to try a bit of your friends’ food, even if you’ve tried it 5645674 times before and have never once liked it

Getting way too friendly with random strangers

Being in a love-hate relationship with water

Digging. For no reason.

Thinking you’re a badass despite being a hyperactive ball of emotions and hedonism

Loud sobbing while pressing yourself up against the sliding glass door at your friends who locked you out because they were tired of your bullshit and wanted some goddamn peace and quiet

[morathor]

Okay this one is a gem:

“ Loudly and repeatedly announcing to housemates that someone is at the door “

[nat-the-steampunk-witch-deactiv]

“Thinking you’re a badass despite being a hyperactive ball of emotions and hedonism”

-literally me

[thecaffeinebookwarrior-deactiva]

I’ve had the idea for a werewolf/monster story bouncing around for a while now, so I must save these.

[georgiansuggestion]

become the subject of a cautionary ballad

[mjalti]

View this post on Instagram

https://instagram.com/p/BcwENiEHKGP/

IG: SOLNE

[coolxatu]

>at the graveyard

>rotten hand thrusts out of the dirt

me: *holds it*

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

Jewish life hack: if ur protesting and nazis are present, just scream random Hebrew at them. I speak no Hebrew other than prayers, so when counter protesting against the pride protestors (the “Jews killed Jesus” type of goyim) I just screamed the v’ahavta at them. They did not know how to respond at all and it shut them up for a good minute.

[heckery]

if u wanna yell something Meaningful™ these are some hebrew phrases and their translation:

• תאכל תחת / to-CHAL TA-chat

literal translation: “eat ass” (don’t tell them that). actually translates roughly to “eat your ass”.

• איכסה פיכסה / EECH-sah PEECH-sah

basically translates into an exaggerated version of “ew”. considered pretty childish for your petty needs.

• אשפה אנושית / ash-PAH eh-no-SHEET

means “human garbage” bc yeah.

• ילד פנצ'ר / YEL-ed PAN-cher

literal translation: “flat tire kid”. basically means you were conceived by accident (THAT kind of a “flat tire”).

• הכל חוזר אליך וקקה בידיך /

ha-KOL cho-ZER e-LE-cha ve-KA-ka be-ya-DE-cha (m) + ha-KOL cho-ZER e-LA-ich ve-KA-ka be-ya-DA-ich (f)

this is my favorite one out of them all. it means “everything (you said) goes right back to you, and you have poop in your hands”. also, it rhymes!

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

This is such a good addition

[honeysmoon-deactivated20190628]

If I’m not tending an organic vegetable garden at my cottage in the mountains with my lover in five years, then what’s the point?

[sandsvendor100]

It Feels So Good To Be So Squeaky Clean

[slavery]

I’m ant man and this post took me two days to type

[stephenearp]

Up the track

[silverhawk]

REALLY aesthetically pleasing bugs to look at

picasso bug

mirror spider

rainbow grasshopper

phylliidae true leaf insect

[silverhawk]

rainbow stag beetle

crotalaria moth

lantern bug

[strangercore]

Every gay kid hates their family and town wants to go to either California or New York when they’re older and that’s just facts

[sleepynegress]

Hey people, if you’ve seen Black Panther and you loved it. If you can? Do three things.  Google the title and rate it a thumbs up on the sidebar.  On rotten tomatoes? Also rate it high.  And lastly? Head on over to imdb and do the same. Salty whites who can’t stand to see black people enjoy fantasy media with their own faces in it are skewing the audience scores.  

[do-you-have-a-flag]

technology related sensory memories from my childhood

sliding the metal cover on floppy disks

the slight resistance of inserting cassette and video tapes

ripping off the strips of holed paper off of dot matrix printer paper 

rolling the wheel on a disposable camera to take another photo

[mm-imagerie]

The heaviness and rubber texture of the roller ball in a computer mouse, and the little ring of lint

Unkinking the curly cord of a telephone while you talked

The -peww sound and slowly fading image of a crt monitor turning off, and then running your finger through the static on the dusty glass

The crunch of opening or closing a plastic Disney vhs cover

The sound effects in kidpix

Extending and collapsing metal antennas and using them as magic wands

[sahdirah]

…God, it is so weird these things aren’t around any more. Cause it’s true, the sensations are so distinct. It’s bizarre to think about missing these tiny relics.

[fluffmugger]

The ditditditditdit  of a rotary dial phone setting back to zero after you spun up a number

The weird fart smell of non-leaded petrol compared to leaded, back when it was new and unusual

The subtle give under your teeth of the rubber on an Atari joystick as you chewed on it

The CHONK  of a TV dial as you changed channels 

[iloveamelia-deactivated20190212]

washed my sheets but my bed still smells like garlic? guess thats just how it is now 

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

g

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

garlic bed

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

me: *walkin around in a haunted mansion with a piece of lettuce in my hair*

portrait of a woman hanging on the wall: *follows me with her eyes*

me: I have a girlfriend

portrait: ok lettuce head