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The Bowery Presents
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@cerulean-shark
When you realize that one song in Russian about the Finrod/Sauron song battle is actually part of an entire fucking musical
Hereâs the musical, hereâs a translation, Iâm freaking stoked
I like to think im funny on twitter
based on this / all the memes that come from it
wait,, brilliant idea thank u @cerulean-shark
guys!!! this blog has hit 1.5k!!! to celebrate it i am doing fandom blogrates!
rules:
- must be following this blog - reblog this post - send me an ask with one to three fandoms for blogrates
fandoms:
đ tolkien
beleriand / middle earth / valinor the hobbit / lord of the rings / silmarillion / children of hurin / fall of gondolin vanyar / noldor / teleri / avari / sindar nirnaeth arnoediad / battle of the pellenor fields / battle of dale gondor / rohan / shire / mordor / rivendell / lothlorien
âš star wars
the core / the mid rim / the outer rim prequels / clone wars / originals jedi / senator / rebel / bounty hunter / smuggler millenium falcon / podracer / x-wing / snowspeeder / tie / naboo starfighter tatooine / coruscant / naboo / death star
âïž the witcher
the wild hunt / hearts of stone / blood and wine books / games human / elf / dwarf / witcher / halfling wolf / bear / cat / viper / griffin / manticore novigrad / velen / skellige / toissaint / kaer morhen / white orchard
âïž dc universe
batman / superman / wonder woman / flash / aquaman / cyborg alfred pennyworth / robin batman vs superman / justice league / gotham / suicide squad comics / movies / cartoons / shows bruceâs intelligence / clarkâs strength / dianaâs power / barryâs speed
âĄïžharry potter
hogwarts / hogsmeade / ministry of magic gryffindor / ravenclaw / hufflepuff / slyhterin charms / flying / potions / divination / arithmancy marauders era / harry potter era / new era james potter / sirius black / remus lupin / peter pettigrew
đ± percy jackson
camp half-blood / camp jupiter percy jackson and the olympians / heroes of olympus the big trio / the olympians / lesser gods sword / knife / bow / dagger / spear empire state building / lotus hotel and casino / underworld / labyrinth
One of the ballsiest things Tolkien ever did was write 473k words about some hobbits called frodo, sam, merry, and pippin and then write in the appendices that their names are actually maura, ban, kali, and razal.Â
This just in: Eowyn and Eomerâs names actually start with the letter âL.â [source for other nerds]Â
#wait so they have hobbitish names and common names?
No, they have Westron names and English names.
What youâve got to understand is that everything Tolkien wrote was him pretending to merely translate ancient documents. He was writing as if the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were actually been written by Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam (or Bilba, Maura, and Ban) and he was just some random contemporary academic translating it all into English for us.Â
There are many languages in his books, but generally speaking, everything written in English in the books is a translation of the language âWestron.â Therefore any names that come from Westron, he translated. Names coming from other languages, like Sindarin, he left as they were. Why? IDK. Maybe because the stories are from a hobbit perspective and hobbits speak Westron, so he wanted the Westron parts to sound familiar and the other languages/names to remain foreign?Â
âBut Mirkwoodest!â you cry, âThe word âhobbitâ isnât an English word! And the names Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuckâ all sounds super weird and not like English at all!â
Psych! They are in English! (Or Old English, German, or Norse.) Once again you underestimate what a nerd Tolkien was. Let me break it down:Â
In Westron, hobbits are actually called âkuduk,â which means âhole-dweller,â so for an English translation, Tolkien called them âhobbitsâ which is a modernization of the Old English word âholbytlaâ which comes from âHolâ (hole) and âBytlaâ(builder).Â
âMauraâ is a Westron name which means âWise.â Weirdly enough, âFrodoâ is an actual Proto-Germanic name that actual people used to have and it means the same thing.Â
âBanazĂźrâ is Westron for âhalf-wise, or simple.â In Proto Germanic, the prefix âSamâ means half, and wise is obviously a word we still use.Â
âRazanurâ means âTravelerâ or âStrangerâ which is also the meaning of the word âPeregrin(e)â This one is a twofer because âRazarâ means âa small red appleâ and in English so does âPippin.â
âKalimacâ apparently is a meaningless name in Westron, but the shortened form âKaliâ means âhappy,â so Jirt decided his nickname would be âMerryâ and chose the really obscure ancient Celtic name âMeriodocâ to match.Â
Jirt chose to leave âBilbaâ almost exactly the same in English, but he changed the ending to an âOâ because in Westron names ending in âaâ are masculine.Â
Iâm not going to go on and talk about the last names but those all have special meanings too (except TĂ»k, which is too iconic to change more than the spelling of, apparently).Â
The Rohirrim were also Westron speakers first and foremost, so their names are also âtranslationsâ into Old English and Proto-Germanic words, i.e. âEowynâ is a combination of âEohâ (horse) and âWynnâ (joy/bliss).Â
âRohirrim/Rohanâ are Sindarin words, but in the books, they call themselves the âĂothĂ©odâ which is an Old English/Norse combo that means âhorse people.â Tolkien tells us in the âPeoples of Middle Earthâ that the actual Westron for âĂothĂ©odâ is LohtĂ»r, which means that Eowyn and Eomerâs names, which come from the same root word, must also start with the letter L.Â
The names of all the elves, dwarves, Dunedain, and men from Gondor are not English translations, since they come from root words other than Westron.Â
The takeaway from this is that when a guy whose first real job was researching the history and etymology of words of Germanic origin beginning with the letter âWâ writes a book, you can expect this kind of tomfoolery.
Notes: Sorry I said âRazalâ instead of âRazarâ in my original post Iâm a fraud.Â
Further Reading:Â
Rohirric , WestronÂ
I saw a post about traditional folk music genres from around the world and I couldnât resist the urge to do one for some of the various kindreds of Elves, I am so sorry
Vanyarin Folk Music Genres
God Loves Everyone But Especially Us
Gee The Valar Sure Are Great
Here Is An Hour-Long Poem About Wine
Letâs Stomp On Some Grapes
My Wife/Husband Has The Prettiest Hair In Town
Everything Is Absolutely Fine
Noldorin Folk Music Genres
My Family Is The Best And Bravest, Fuck You
A Comprehensive List Of Things Feanor Has Invented
I Would Kill God For A Silmaril
I Built You A Giant Library Because I Love You
Look At How Shiny And Glamorous Our Swords Are
Oh Shit We Fucked Up We Fucked Up
Telerin Folk Music Genres
Yo Ho Ho We Are Not Pirates But We Appreciate The Aesthetic
My Girlfriend Makes The Best Boat Sails
I Caught A Fish And It Was Thiiiis Big
Boats Boats Boats Boats Boats
The Noldor Killed Everyone I Love (Fuck You)
Sindarin Folk Music Genres
All Trees Are Great But Especially This One (Itâs A Metaphor For Love)
Never Forget How Hot The Kingâs Wife And Daughter Are
I Shot That Deer Because I Respect It
I Made Moonshine And Now We Must Dance All Night
Please Marry Me, I Have A Very Long Bow (Definitely Not A Double Entendre)
Fuck All The Noldor Except The Ones Thingol Is Related To (But Also Them A Little Bit)
Avarin Folk Music Genres
I Never Live In The Same Place For More Than A Year (Huzzah, Adventure!)
I Donât Know Who Manwe Is And At This Point Iâm Too Embarrassed To Ask
Will You Marry Me If I Wrestle A Bear?
Congratulate Us On Avoiding Being In This Story
On Feanorian âwivesâ
Iâve seen a few people claiming that Maglor canât be shipped with men because he has a wife, so heâs obviously straight (letâs just pretend bisexual people donât exist, then?) but the actual passage that mentions Maglorâs âwifeâ in HoME is:
âŠCurufin, dearest to his father and chief inheritor of his fatherâs skills, was wedded, and had a son who came with him into exile, though his wife (unnamed) did not. Others who were wedded were Maelor, Caranthir.
As you may notice, thatâs not gendered language. Neither Maglor nor Caranthirâs spouses actually have a confirmed gender, meaning that if someone claims you canât see them as LGBT, theyâre not only biphobic, but also just plain wrong.
Interpret this how you will, fellas.Â
12-year-old-me being really invested in âthe way the Lord of the Rings portrays the deep love between friends of the same genderâ without realizing I was gay
I love how Samwise Gamgee broke fate
Thereâs this thing in LOTR where victory can only come at the cost of the person you set out to save. You can win the war, but you will lose the person you were fighting that war to protect.Â
The heroes save the world from Sauronâ but Aragorn and Arwen have to accept that theyâre destined to lose each other, Eowyn loses Theoden, Theoden loses Theodred, Faramir and Denethor lose Boromir, and so on. Middle Earth as a whole loses the elves, and with them a lot of its most precious memories and magic. Even in The Hobbitâ Bilbo saves the Mountain, but loses Thorin.Â
In Middle-Earth you can save the worldâ but you canât save the reason you wanted to save it.
And so Frodoâs death seems inevitable. Sam has set out to save Frodo, just as all these other characters set out to save each other. And weâre constantly told (by characters who can actually see the future!) that yes, Frodo is just Fated to die. âThe quest will claim his life.â The Epic Story can end in victory, but the Personal Story must inevitably end in a tragedy. Thatâs how Middle Earth works. To save the world, Frodo must die.
But Samâs just like âŠ.âI recognize destiny has made a decision, but given that itâs a stupid-ass decision, Iâve elected to ignore itââ
Frodo wasnâtâŠsupposed to liveâŠit flies in the face of every prophecy and every parallel and EVERYTHING that should happen!!!!! And yet he lives anyway!! Because of Sam.
Like: when Frodo is taken captive in Mordor, Sam has a choice between continuing the journey on his own OR making a one-hobbit attack on Shelob the Eldritch Horror and an entire fortress of orc warriors. Destiny is flat-out telling Sam: you must accept, as everyone else has, that saving the world means losing the person you love. Â
But Sam REFUSES and launches a crazed one-hobbit attack anyway because âscrew âaccepting the necessity of lossâ, I LOVE HIM!âÂ
 Yes, in the end, Frodo has to go the Undying Lands⊠but that he lived to be able to set out on a journey to heal himself was more than a miracle. And he and Sam still arenât separated forever, because in the ending of the book itâs revealed that Sam does eventually follow after him.
Follow to see this picture of Legolas every day
A little bit of Mairon, and a little bit of Melkor- as it should be <3
âDonât go where I canât followâ is one of the most anguish inducing and crushing otp lines out there and the fact that this line originated from Samwise Gamgee, a brave gardener with tender hands, just? Aches. Thereâs literally no heterosexual explanation for how Sam and Frodo treated each other
Read the comments on this for instant death
Y'all pull this âitâs friendshipâ stuff the second a gay kid talks about how two people of the same gender who act tenderly towards each other might be gay, as though platonic relationships are sparse in representation lmao. Like, first of all, itâs a joke, pero yâall have to be homophobic, saying shit like âstop sexualizing Sam and Frodoâ like where in the world did I say anything s*xual in nature? How is âSam and Frodo are in loveâ equivalent to me saying âyeah they engage in f*rnication every day all day.â?
 It really is like that huh? When two gay people are in love, itâs not our love everyone starts seeing. Itâs what we do in privacy, and it doesnât even end there! Yâall act like our intimacy as gay ppl is actually something dirty, something sinful, you know, like a fcking homophobe. Yall canât even afford us the innocence of silly and hopeful headcanons without acting like itâs fucking nasty and weâre making friendships less valuable like how my homosexual love for my partner diminishes how I love them platonically. It was a fucking joke and a cute headcanon, but yâall had to make it homophobic.Â
Breathtaking The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings illustration by Jian Guo also known as breathing2004
@musicallyinappropriate !!!
Holy shit these are fantastic
k iâm kinda curious so if you would, rb with your favorite silm character and what you think that says about youÂ
small fëanorians when things were pretty chill
Mairon and Melkor combined their powers to create magical gemstones that allow them to communicate emotions and thoughts to one another over a distance. They always wore them on circlets or other pieces of jewelry, using them to coordinate troop movements or to simply talk to one another while they had to be apart.
Melkor came up with the idea after Tol-in-Gaurhoth, when Mairon was too far away for their emotional link to tell him if he was safe or not. Neither of them were ever without that means of communication again, and sometimes the continuing signals from it were the only sign that the other was still safe.
it seems like there are only two types of silmarillion fan theories
a well thought out and argued explanation or analysis of the canon with textual evidence and a thesis and whole thread of dialogue
The Noldor Played Loud Kazoo In The Direction Of Angband For Centuries To Annoy Morgoth Into Submission. Source: It Would Be Funny.
and thereâs literally no in between
@mc-dude iâm dying djbxjdnxjskd he gets back and maglorâs all like âoh my god youâre aliveâ and maedhros is immediately like âyes and itâs ass whooping time you kazoo playing bastardâ
maedhros, years later: (jolts awake with a scream)
fingon: shh itâs okay, they canât hurt you here
maedhros: k-kazoo
fingon: kazooglor doesnât exist anymore, he canât hurt you now
maedhrosâ dreams: