i really like the concept of damian not being handed over to bruce, and rather being dropped off near him and then told to go make his introductions alone, because fuck it opens up the possibility for the funniest misunderstanding ever.
au where Jason was supposed to make sure Damian gets to Bruce safely but gets sidetracked by his crime lord/Joker revenge arc, and so on the night he was supposed to take Damian over to the manor he gets called away and tells Damian to just go over there alone, except Damian happens to spot Batman and Robin on patrol anyway and figures he just go and meet them there instead. which he does, and he goes home with them, and he settles in as a Wayne boy, eventually inheriting the Robin mantle from Tim, and it’s all normal and fine except for one thing.
Bruce has no idea Damian is his biological son.
Like, from Bruce’s perspective he just happened upon a small child with dark hair and an odd desensitisation to crime/violence with no other place to go and an interest in becoming Robin. that is literally how he acquired every other child he has adopted, this was Not unordinary behaviour from him. on Damian’s part, he had presumed that Talia would have alerted Bruce that he existed before sending him to Gotham, so he was under the impression that Bruce already knew Damian was his kid and this didn’t feel the need to overtly mention it. he just kinda showed up in the middle of Batman fighting a group of muggers, helped take them down, said he no longer had another home (he forgot the code to Jason’s apartment building and is too stubborn to ask for it again), and followed when Bruce told him to get in the batmobile.
i think Tim, Dick and Bruce would just assume that Damian is the product of some kind of trafficking ring/other horrible background that led to him being homeless on the streets with a decent hand to hand skillset, so they probably just. assume that Damian doesn’t want to talk about it. thinking that Damian will come to them when he’s ready to talk about where he came from, they just ask that he’s safe and nobody from his past is going to come for him. but the thing is, Damian knows from Jason that Batman and the League of Assassins don’t see eye to eye, so he presumes these questions are just about the probability of Damian meaning more league members are going to pop up in the Batman’s territory. so Damian, being honest, just goes ‘no- well unless you count Red Hood, but he defected so i’m not sure that counts’
so now Bruce not only has no idea he’s accidentally adopted his own fucking son, but he is under the impression that Damian is on the run from the Red Hood. and Damian is just increasingly confused by his family’s reactions to -in his mind- normal scenarios.
Bruce: and do you have a surname that you can remember?
Damian, squinting: isn’t it… Wayne?
Bruce, tearing up as he prepares to contact his lawyers about adopting a child with no legal identity: i’m so glad you feel the same way.
Bruce, the night they met Damian: and here is a guest room you can stay in for now,
Damian: thank you, Father.
Tim: that was quick. not even Dick’s at that stage yet.
Tim: don’t expect that from me, buddy. i’m still kinda mad the fake uncle trick didn’t work.
Tim: and i mean Dick left for Bludhaven, Jason ran for Ethiopia, i didn’t originally want to be adopted; it’s about time you found a kid who actually likes you-
Bruce: Tim shut up and go to bed.
Jason, interrupting them all on patrol: oh hey, you let the kid be Robin, cool.
Tim and Dick: *instantly jumping in front of Damian to shield him*
Dick: you aren’t taking him, Hood!
Tim: he’s free from you now and we won’t let him go, understand?
Jason, side-eyeing them suspiciously: …aight. anyway, kid, you left your hoodie at my place. here.
Damian, catching the hoodie and sending Tim and Dick weird looks: thanks…?
i want this to go on for so long. like, i want Jason to be back in the family and him and Damian still not realising none of the bats know Damian is Bruce’s actual kid. i want there to be a really bad incident involving the JLA where Bruce gets poisoned/magicked in some way where the only cure that will save his life is blood/DNA from a blood-related donor, and everybody is freaking the fuck out because Bruce has no siblings and his parents are dead, so they have no options.
meanwhile Damian and Jason are like ??? fucking baffled at the panic, and Damian just starts rolling up his sleeve and turning to the JL like ‘ok, well, i dunno what they’re crying about, but do you wanna take my blood then?’ and the Justice League genuinely have no idea what the fuck is going on because Bruce said this kid was adopted.
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