if i posted my rusame ramblings to tumblr would anyone gaf or read them… i’ve got a LOT of stuff like character analysis, original au rants, or scenario/headcanon ramblings.
SOMETIMES i post them on twitter but no one on twitter rlly reads rambling threads 😭 idk ill post an example here… here’s one i just wrote about touch starvation rusame (this is like, to an egregiously obvious extent a projection, but it works well enough i think lol)
touch starved alfred being extremely lonely and deprived of genuine affection (but too prideful to ask for it) so he resorts to desperately and pathetically begging ivan for it non-verbally; he’ll rub his head on his shoulder like a cat, or stand uncomfortably close to the point russia has to put an arm around him to be comfortable, stuff like that.
i think ivan would really love it too— he’s even more touch starved than alfred is, and everyone except for america is scared of him. to see someone so willingly and desperately seek him out makes his heart melt and it makes him feel so happy. i think he’d get some cuteness agression or intense happiness and like, smush alfred in a bone crushing hug. and alfred would love it so so much because it’s exactly what he needs. ˙ᵕ˙ their need for affection and subsequent joy at getting it is so extreme that they fuel each other into oblivion… the same kind of mutual feeding the flame that caused the cold war😭 they’re the most extreme in the world, they’re crazy… but perfect for each other…
i also think it would be important to alfred that ivan wants to be affectionate w him just as much as alfred wants that affection— hence part of why he doesn’t want to ask for it. it would be great, but not enough, if ivan just did it because alfred asked him to. he wants ivan to truly want to do those things. he constantly has the world bowing down to him and glazing him, giving him handshakes and stuff, but none of that is genuine. it’s all to get something out of him or gain his favor, not genuine affection and wanting to be around him. to alfred, it hurts more than if people just didn’t talk to him at all.
a little off topic quick, but i think alfred and ivan’s different kinds of isolation provide an interesting conflict in their relationship. alfred might feel like being left alone hurts less than being constantly surrounded but never loved, whilst ivan would be outraged by that sentiment due to the isolation he’s been left in for his whole life. ugh rusame and how polar opposite they are yet they’re also exactly the same.. so much in common yet so little trust…
but anyways, i think that’s also why his begging for affection is baiting ivan into giving it rather than alfred always forcing it on him like he does with other people. for example with kiku, he forces physical affection and proximity on him (wrapping his arm around his shoulders, shaking him, etc) because he knows kiku would never give it himself, because he doesn’t want to. but alfred wants ivan to want to do it. he wants him to make the first real move so that he knows ivan isn’t just doing it because he has no choice. (don’t get me wrong, i think alfred totally ‘forces’ physical affection on ivan in the same way a lot, but here im referring to when he’s starved for genuine affection. when he really needs genuine physical affection, it’s the one time he won’t force it on someone, because he wants them to do it.)