Self-titled life

[florenceandisabellamachine-deac]

[the-witch-named-wesa]

Reblog to be blessed by the Florence of happiness and magick.

[agetwellcard]

coming soon: the duolingo owl will break into your home at night and beat the shit out of you if you don’t know the word for potato in french

[agetwellcard]

update: i was right! you can now pay $50 a month for duolingo to track you down and beat the shit out of you if you don’t do your daily french lessons!! say au revoir to your life!

[lisbon]

[weavemama]

cat hate is just so…….. embarrassing

[moontxt]

people who hate cats for being “cold” or “mean” never learned emotional intelligence or depth and think that love is only expressed by being submissive and unconditionally obedient

[masterlukeskywalker]

someone: what are you planning to do after college?

me:

[camojacketfrank]

i could have been stanning mcr in 2007 when they were at their PEAK but nooo i was wasting time learning how to READ

[fizzydog-deactivated20240325]

there are literally no words to describe how old this post makes me feel

[evilspice]

tumblr B.C. (before censorship)

[whofvckncares]

[galaxybrainthot]

this post reads very differently for mlm and wlw

[schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d]

mlm:

wlw:

[ithelpstodream]

[imsuchacapricorn]

Got this talk as an education major too. If you’re going into public service you serve all of the public.

[homunculus-argument]

It’s the year 2030. They’re making a Harry Potter remake, not a modern adaptation but set in the original era. And it’s fucking indulgent in 90s nostalgia. Someone’s got a butterfly clip, Ron is wearing a choker, there’s muggles playing with pogs, Spice Girls is playing in the background. Voldemort is wearing a crop top.

It’s simultaneously the worst and fucking best thing you’ve ever seen.

[perhapsarat]

hedwig is just a furby on a string

[thecowgirlwitch]

Why is it?? That I can go through the whole day feeling fine and dandy but the second I lay down for bed impending doom settles on me?

[baylone]

[sinkies]

don’t fucking look at me

[tieflingfaggot]

Holy shit.

[greensunzenith]

Oh, to be a fly on that wall

[gallifreyanwriter]

this response on the original thread is my favorite

[thesnobbyartsyblog]

I hate when rich companies ask poor people to donate to poor people.

[sergeant-grumbles]

Especially donating to the charity thru the company. You donate. The company gets to write it off like Its their donation.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Every time a company promises to match donations up to a certain amount, they’re saying they can easily donate that much but are withholding those funds until they can leverage that donation into something that benefits their bottom line.

[psionicillusionist]

Mmm top tier level when they make you feel like it’s your fault that their donation quota hasn’t been reached yet, and now you’re the aggressor.

[americas-sass]

How to Write a Michael Schur Lead Romance

Partner 1: Confident, Fun, Slightly Depressed

Partner 2: Anxiety™ 

Partner 1 provides the light atmosphere, Partner 2 provides the level head. Congrats, you have the perfect lead couple.

BONUS:

How to Write a Michael Schur Secondary Romance: Abnormal Dork Meets Equally Abnormal Dork

[banderboucher]

The idea of spontaneously getting on a train and going somewhere far might be romantic in another country but England is too small for that. Pull an Eternal Sunshine and go where? Fucking Slough? Go to fucking Slough and get a fucking boots meal deal?

[birthdaysongs]

i only understand about 60% of the words in this post but i still think its funny

[flutejesus]