Keni
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
hello vonnie
The Bowery Presents
bliss lane
izzy's playlists!
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Origami Around
pixel skylines
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Not today Justin
Sade Olutola
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Andulka
Color Me Curious
Cosimo Galluzzi
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
shark vs the universe
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@chameleonsoul777
i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever
me: So then we take the liquified wood pulp, and dry it again, into these thin sheets. caveman: [confused, but trying to keep up] uh huh. me: And we take the graphite stick - it doesn't need to be wrapped in wood like this, but we like making them this way so you don't get graphite on your hands. And that's what we draw with. caveman: [eyes lighting up] Oohhh so you use the wood pulp sheets to paint on them, like hides? me: Exactly! And now, you could use this method to draw anything you can visualise with your mind's eye, but for the sake of this demonstration, let's draw a vision of a woman with features of an animal whose powers and traits she represents, and a figure that is stylised and exaggerated beyond what nature really allows. caveman: As wide as she is tall, with tits to match? me: Exactly. caveman: This is the only sensible use of this technology.
Big chomping mouthful of fucking soils
The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.
"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."
have you or a loved one been diagnosed with asshole? you may be entitled
i forgot what i was saying mid sentence but this may actually be the best joke ive ever made
playing fuck marry kill with my fellow monks and we’re just taking turns going “well. i wouldn’t do any of that.”
If you are having a bad day, here's a triangle with all 90 degree angles to help distract you
We love the 270° triangle. So perfect, so even. The right equilateral triangle.
real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction
do stuff while waiting for other stuff
like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time
waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there.
waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all
THIS IS REALLY HELPFUL!
I actually turn this into a game!
“How many chores can I do while the water is boiling for my tea?”
“Can I put away the dishes and wipe the counters before my lunch finishes reheating?”
“Can I sweep the floor AND change the laundry while the dogs are out back?”
You can totally do this! If you make it like a game, also, you will get better at it, and you can be like ‘yes, now I put away the dishes AND wiped out the sink before my water boiled, I am a level 2 Adult!’
“How many chores can
I do while the water is
boiling for my tea?”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Manager i gotta Leave i don't feel sexy and free today
Barn Owls
Photos by Ryan Bourbour
oh she ate
embarrassment has good bones
In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.
I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.
This is funnier than anything I have ever said.
This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.
congratulations! your reincarnation status has been upgraded from COCKROACH to SEAGULL
“Everybody has a ‘gripping stranger’ in their lives… a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarre hold over you. Maybe it’s the kid in cut-offs who mows your lawn or the woman wearing White Shoulders who stamps your book at the library — a stranger who, if you were to come home and find a message from them on your answering machine saying ‘Drop everything. I love you. Come away with me now to Florida,’ you’d follow them.”
— Douglas Coupland, Generation X
