Working In Graveyards & Graveyard Etiquette🕯
Why Incorporate Graveyards?
Graveyards have always been associated with the supernatural and metaphysical. In both ancient and modern cultures, funerary rights and the dead have always held great significance in society. When working in these spaces, the most important thing to remember is respect. The dead are not as mutable as the living and it may take longer to rectify a mistake and earn their trust again than it would have been to learn the proper etiquette from the start.
Which begs the question, why work in these spaces and with these spirits? Well lots of reasons, some people choose to only work in graveyards that they have a direct ancestral connection with (ie. family members or distant relative are buried there). Others, like myself, find it a good way to honour the local spirits. Even spirits of people you don't know and have no connection too are worth honouring. Some people believe that since all of humanity has a common ancestor, we are all related and so even cemeteries you have no direct connection to, are connected to you by our common ancestor (another reason I am quite fond of). Maybe you just think it's cool, which is valid. Whatever your reason, just make sure you have one and are not going there with insincere intentions.
What is Graveyard Etiquette?
Graveyard etiquette are the ways in which we should behave when entering and visiting a graveyard in order to be respectful to those resting there. Although there are general rules of thumb which many witches follow, as you develop a relationship with a particular graveyard, those customs can change. Here are some I like to follow:
Leaving an offering- I always bring an offering of coins or flowers. If I'm visiting a graveyard that I've never been to before, I will leave coins at the gate, for the guardian and at some of the older and unkept headstone (also graves of young children if I find any). During regular visits, I leave offerings with the guardian and at headstones of spirits I've developed a relationship with.
Walking the entire graveyard- this is not something I do every time but I like to walk around the entire site and introduce myself especially if I plan on having a working relationship with the spirits there (this may be more difficult for larger sites, I recommend picking an new area each time you visit if that is the case).
Entering and leaving through the same gate- this is not one I stick to every time if I know the spirits really well. If I've never visited before I will always leave through the same exit that I entered from.
Throwing salt or spinning- I heard this one from ChaoticWitchAunt (on TikTok) and it's something that I've just always done. They recommended spinning around three times before leaving to prevent spirits from following you home. I've also thrown a bit of salt over my left shoulder outside the entrance for the same purpose (beware: salt is not good for the earth). This is definitely something that just resonated with me after a bad experience and that's why I continue to do it.
A Note on Necromancy & Death work:
Necromancy is often a term used in many scary movies and cult fiction. It is actually a form of divination which utilizes the dead. Anyone can learn necromancy however it is an integral part of death work. Death worker (practitioners who practice death work) are involved with crossing spirits over. The job requires some level of mediumship abilities and can be very taxing on your mental health. Some death workers take on the lingering emotions of the deceased (pain, fear, anger, etc.) in order to help that spirit. Death work is much more than the small bit that I've described but it is important to note that the path is not for everyone. You can still work in cemeteries and utilize necromancy without doing death work (& a big thank you to the death workers who continue on their path despite the toll it takes, we love you!).
*All images are from Pinterest*
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