*screaming into the void*

~side blog to contain my chaotic energy ~ My hobbies include reading fantasy novels, flute, medicine, biochemistry, staring into the void until the void stares back, and crochet

[such-a-fellow]

potatoes and molasses season

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Science!

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

[glumshoe]

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

[gemstone-gynoid]

you mean like

[ontologicalidiot-deactivated201]

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

[sindri42]

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

[solwardenclyffe]

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

[sindri42]

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

[lady-byleth]

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

[saccharinesatchel]

Elves are flat-earthers

[cheattoe]

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

[yourownpetard]

This post really was a rollercoaster.

[odinoco-deactivated20190531]

for elves it was a straight line

[anxietyproblem]

[wvterways]

[badsciencejokes]

Credit to Nate and Hila, Nathanology, HilaTheKilla.

[lizormianillustration]

whatever was left, that was ours for a while.

sunrise - louise glück

[charlesoberonn]

[anxietyproblem]

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

[tuesdayisfordancing]

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

[professorsparklepants]

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

[siesiegirl]

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

[crumbvulet]

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

[thranduilland]

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

[candiikismet]

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

[orriculum]

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

[beardedmrbean]

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

people I still want to stab over a decade later:

Creative Writing Professor at a former college: Welcome to creative writing! By the way, you will not write fantasy, ghost stories, pranormal, or science fiction in this class, as this is a creative writing course.”

[morgynleri]

What the ever loving fuck is with “creative” writing professors who think that speculative fiction of any stripe ISN’T CREATIVE?

[thebibliosphere]

I still remember my own creative writing teacher telling me this because he saw the Terry Pratchett book on my desk and got this smug smirk on his face like “aha, gotcha”. He had the nerve to pick it up and call it “popularist fiction”, like somehow being popular and easily accessible made it less inherent in intellectual value.

I had it in my back pack because I did my final thesis on the evolution of mythology and folk tails into fantasy and sci-fi and the societal importance of telling stories (before anyone asks, no I don’t have it, I lost it when I moved continents), and I used Terry Pratchett because there wasn’t a single humanitarian issue the man did not touch on.

Which I told him. And then he kind of floundered and went “ah, well but, it’s…well I mean it’s not exactly high brow”, like neither the fuck was Shakespeare or Dickens you self-important turnip. Dickens was literally selling his stories by the chapter. He was the popular author of his time. Shakespeare was too, he fucking made up words and phrases all the time because the language he needed to express himself didn’t exist in the way he needed it too.

Intellectual elitism is nothing more than a hold over from class warfare and the belief that only certain people should get to be truly educated. And it needs to be smashed.

[mckitterick]

I went to grad school not to get a pretentious degree but specifically to study science fiction literature and writing with SF Grand Master and Science Fiction Hall of Fame inductee James Gunn (with whom I had the good fortune to continue working with for the next 30 years, going from his assistant to co-teacher to directing his science fiction center)

in my second year I had to take a class with a professor who I knew disparaged speculative fiction. when I went to her office to get permission to enroll, she asked why I hadn’t taken her class my first semester as I should have. I told her it was because I wanted to take all of Jim Gunn’s available classes before he retired from full-time teaching

she rolled her eyes dramatically and said, “oh, so you’re one of those. well, I don’t allow science fiction in my classes.”

(this is also the kind of ignorance Jim spent most of his career in academia trying to educate literary snobs out of perpetuating. not surprisingly, this is the same department that eventually drove me out after Jim’s death)

being someone who doesn’t put up with hateful elitism, in her class I only wrote SF

turned out she liked my stories, but offered such useless gems as, “this would be much better if the aliens were ghosts”

like. um. where do you even start with that?

snobs will be snobs. don’t let them bully you into buying into their narrow-mindedness

I mean, following in the footsteps of Poe, Hawthorne, Dickens, Shakespeare, Orwell, Bradbury, and all the other popular authors who wrote spec-fic - but whom academia now embraces - puts one in better company than academics who write only in the “professor with mid-life crisis cheats on partner” genre

[probuccalfat1]

the almost contentious but intimate relationship between a woman and the book she’s been trying to read for a year

[evilscientist3]

Bitches love to be like "science sucks where are the eldritch horrors where is the knowledge thats maddening to know" that's thermodynamics motherfucker. The first two world experts in thermodynamics (Ludwig Boltzmann and Paul Ehrenfest) both killed themselves because they had to do fucking thermodynamics

[evilscientist3]

Oh you want to use abstract methodology poorly-understood by most to study something so alien to human existence it cannot be intuitively understood, then in doing so uncover a terrible truth that implies the unavoidable doom of all humanity? Nice going dingdong you just found out about entropy

[fuckrealityihaveablog]

I want a story about an Italian vampire.

No romance, no action.

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?”

[absinthenoir-deactivated2019090]

TBH I think the main issue would be the mirror thing

have you ever met an Italian man

the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror jfc

[wunderlass]

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-italian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can’t go near crucifixes? IN ITALY???

[princezane-deactivated20151205]

a bunch of pissed off vampires stuck in Venice because they can’t go over moving water

[theresoneofyou]

Not to victim blame, but you’d have to be a pretty bad Italian to even get turned into a vampire in the first place.

[hey-there-nutlet-deactivated201]

the only two places practically immune to vampires are texas and italy

[darkestelemental616]

Let me tell you of A Thing.

Lithuania has no vampires, I guarantee it.

[stephendann]

Lithuania has one vampire, and let me tell you, she’s gonna be FURY UNLEASHED once someone gets her out of the centre of that crossterfuck of a burial point.

[voidbat]

cackled and kicked my feet at “crossterfuck” oh my god

[pagesinmylife]

I feel like public libraries don’t get enough hype. Like, you’re telling me all I have to do is give you my name and address and promise to bring the books back and I’m allowed to take as many as i want??? And I can check them out over and over again if I need to??? And I only pay if I damage or lose the book???? If this is where my tax money is going then please keep on taxing.

[chaoticgoodgremlim]

library’s should get all the hype, like a public space with free wifi and computers? anyone can just walk in? and my library has free classes, a free 3d printer, and free studio space that you can check out like a freaking book, it even has a community kitchen. plus you don’t even have to go to the library to check out books, they have a huge online catalog with books, magazines, tv, movies, and music that is all free

public libraries exist to provide the public with access to information, education, and so much more, all for free, i cannot understate how much hype they should be getting.

[funnytwittertweets]