Charona - raccoon

22 / German / nocturnal, mouthy, sarcastic, but actually quite cute / ff writer

[delphinidin4]

I’m Honestly Fed Up With All The Bad News, So I Illustrated 40 Of The Best Ones From 2021

We need more positive news to acknowledge that the world is actually getting better little by little. Here are some of the top performing positive news illustrations from 2021.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

[unclebeanbag]

“Friend”

Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.

[ulysseus]

Plants don’t wage war

[unclebeanbag]

Ever heard of blackberries?

Yes, plants do wage war

[kasaron]

Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. 

[systlin]

I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.

It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.

And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.

[moirakatson]

This post did not go where I expected it to.

[deathbeforednf]

Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn’t been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later.

Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.

[norseminuteman]

Yall mother fuckers don’t even talk unless you’ve had to wage war on kudzu (it’s an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn’t just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It’s some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. 

[breadgunner-deactivated20181003]

Can second the comments of Kudzu.

I forget where I read it but there’s this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that’s in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant’s seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It’s even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.

[booksandwildthings]

I’d like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields:

See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu.

[nevercure]

Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare

They smother every other living plant to death

Those trees under there are dead, they can’t get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It’s creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist’s wet dream tbh.

The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

What used to be a house

Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale

It’s an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake

The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine…. for now.

[nevercure]

Kudzu is on time magazine’s top 10 invasive species to look out for.

This little buddy doing his part

[nevercure]

Not to keep spamming this post but 

“the growth of kudzu as it became a “structural parasite” of the South,[7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as “the vine that ate the South”.[13]”

“It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., “easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually”.[2]“

yall it’s been estimated this plant consumes 600 kilometers of the united states every year

it’s been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away

[kiwilemonteanonsense]

Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots… Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it.

Eat it before it eats your house.

[vagaybond]

@solarpunkcast @solarpunkactionweek @solarpunkinspo @enviropunk feels relevant

[crittizen]

In this world it’s eat or be eaten

[gamebird]

Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu.

Posts that make you go ‘hm.’

[grifalinas]

“I really love this character,” I say, as I set them tenderly in the garbage where they belong.

“They’re my favorite,” I add, as I set that garbage on fire.

[juergenklopp]

DANIEL RICCIARDO wins the 2021 Italian Grand Prix at the Autodromo Nazionale di Monza on September 12, 2021

[crashquez]

motogp (bloopers) x hard times

[alexalblondo]

this is too cute <333

[alexalblondo]

UPDATE:

[slowlyshytheorist]

My good people, I give you: Amatonormativity.

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

Transcript (with spaces added for accessibility):

“You and this perfect person, who you’ve never met before, to come out of nowhere, fit into your life perfectly, complete you, and make you whole for the first time in your life, like your mother did for me.”

And even though what he said sounds sweet and whatever, the way it manifested to my seven-year-old self is, “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

And that’s not just something that my dad made me feel, that’s something that we as a society for the last 40 years has made every single child feel. Every Disney prince has a princess, every princess has a prince, and every television show or movie always has a character in it that doesn’t want to be in a relationship. They’re happy with who they are. But guess what, by the end of the series? They were wrong! They were wrong for wanting to be alone, the fucking idiot!

It’s all to do with love. Everyone needs someone. And when you raise children in that world, where everything points towards love, when you’ve raised them for 18 fucking years, when you become an adult for the first time in your late teens and early 20’s, we’re so terrified.

We’re so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw, and force them into our jigsaws anyway. I’m going to force this fucking person into our lives because it’s much better to have something than nothing.

Then five years later, you’re stood looking at this jigsaw you don’t recognize, being like, “Ah! There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this!” And in that moment, you have a very, very difficult question to ask yourself. Do I admit the last five years of my life have been a waste? Do I waste the rest of my life?

My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that they give up the one that they’re currently living. We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. People are more in love with the idea of love than they are with the person they are with. The worst thing you can do with your life is to spend it with the wrong human being.

[three-blogs-in-a-trenchcoat]

I would like to point out that this is a fucking stand up special, and it’s said to have broken off hundreds of relationships. It’s also very funny in addition to being very insightful, it’s Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw, it’s on Netflix.

[ceies]

“AH There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this” I’m crying 🤣🤣

[ricciardoe]

mans just went through a whole lot of emotions in one video

[moonlight-at-dawn]

Why did “be critical of your media” turn into “find all its flaws and hate it” why did people become allergic to FUN

[sayitwithsarcophilus]

Because people confuse “critical as in critical thinking” with “critical as in criticizing something,” so they think that “look for something bad, no matter how far-fetched” is what “being critical” means.

[prismatic-bell]

They also don’t realize that “literary criticism” means…

Okay. What literary criticism IS, is like taking a mechanical clock apart to see all the gears and learn how it fits together and approach your next clock with more knowledge of what makes it tick.

What they THINK literary criticism means is, you take the clock apart and beat all the pieces with a hammer, then scream at it because it doesn’t tick for you the way it used to.

[izhunny]

OMG SOMEBODY PUT IT IN WORDS

[beggars-opera]

It’s all well and good to use “be critical of what you consume” to mean “don’t follow things blindly and acknowledge their flaws” but this mindset fails to take into account that everything has flaws. An unproblematic fave is just a fave you haven’t looked at from all angles yet. If you go through life like this hoping to find something morally pure to consume you’re just going to be miserable.

[thevelvetgoldmine]

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014) dir. Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi

[memewhore]

[2goth5ever]

[3milesup]

This night ain’t for the faint of heart ‘Cause when the train wreck comes gonna leave them out

— Dorothy – Wicked Ones

~ two edits of dubious quality sitting in my drafts since awhile inspired by this awesome playlist by Jules ½

[apriki]

What's ur opinion on the 2005 p&p?

FUCK THIS MOVIE. I HATE THIS MOVIE. There is so much whack shit in this film:

the five sisters are KEIRA KNIGHTLEY, amy dunne, johanna mason, carey mulligan of ‘drive’, doctor who episode ‘blink’ and being the future mom of a mumford’s son fame, and the main girl from st trinians???? WHAT KIND OF WHITE PEOPLE PERFECTION their dad is president snow and their mum was vera in noted television procedural vera???? OKAY

DARCY IS 6’2

MR BINGLEY WAS OCTAVIUS IN ROME AND ALSO HAS THE CHEEKBONES OF A TOLKIEN ELF

JUDI DENCH 

this movie is just Joe Wright Period Period Piece but it is THE EPITOME OF THIS VERY SPECIFIC GENRE. HE’S NOT GONNA TOP THIS AND HE NEEDS TO STOP TRYING the panning shot of the peak district??? ‘Liz On Top Of The World’ plays in the bg it’s the ULTIMATE. 

HOT LIZARD KING WICKHAM

and okay i love how this movie shows the bennets as an actual FAMILY

like they’re messy and tactile and they talk over one another it’s so genuine

AND I LOVE THEIR HOUSE WITH THE CREEPING VINES

and okay the COSTUMES IN THIS MOVIE OH MY GODDD

everyone’s white gowns in the netherfield ball scene? YOOOOOO

honestly the production value of this movie is nuts

it’s the AESTHETIC

alright so jane austen novels are awesome and they show a lot about society and relationships in the regency era

and the thing about 2005 pride and prejudice is that it doesn’t only show the verbal sparring/tension between lizzie and darcy

but the sexual tension as well

THE SEXUAL UNDERTONES OF THIS MOVIE

OH MY GOD

IT’S SO FUCKING MUCH

like every interaction is loaded with like sexy LOOKS and body language

and like they don’t even kiss but it’s so obvious they wanna bang

THEY WANT TO BANG

SO

BAD

it’s like raw magnetism

it’s something people would write ridiculous articles in cosmo about

like that bit where darcy helps lizzie into the carriage???????

HE HELPS HER UP

(IT’S THE 1800S, PEOPLE DONT TOUCH)

she looks at him, scandalised

HE WALKS AWAY, FLEXING HIS HAND AS IF IT’S BURNING

ROMANCE

there’s this scene where lizzie and darcy are dancing in a crowded room but they’re so focused on each other the other people LITERALLY MELT AWAY

LIKE THEY’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE

(sidebar: HER HAIR IN THIS SCENE. GOD DAMN.)

also THE TRACKING SHOT THROUGH THE PARTY OH MY GOD 

and okay, like

let’s not even GET INTO the declaration scene

after a heavy dose of SEXILY AVOIDING EACH OTHER’S GLANCES IN CHURCH the sexual tension crescendos

UNDER THE AWNING OF SOME ANCIENT RUIN

IN THE POURING RAIN

he advances; he admits his love

she REBUKES him

affronted, he insults pretty much everything about her

she responds but rebuking him again but WORSE

but the sexual tension’s still there

there’s just the noise of the rain

the air between them is so charged it could power like

a small city probably

THEY’RE SUPER CLOSE

NO TOUCHEY

AND THEN

HE LEANS FORWARD, EYES LOCKED ON HER LIPS

HE’S GONNA KISS HER

SHE WANTS HIM TO KISS HER

HE DOESN’T KISS HER

THE 

FUCKING

TENSION

I CAN’T EVEN WATCH THIS BIT HONESTLY

and she regrets it immediately after and then he DROPS OFF THE LETTER AND SHE’S JUST SITTING THERE IN SHOCK REALLY

I KNOW BABE. I KNOW

and it’s the kind of movie you can rewatch a hundred times and it’s still as amazing as the first time and you pick up all these little things you missed

it was like my 20th watch when i realised that mary is in love with mr collins

and ok THE LIVING SCULPTURES OF PEMBERLEY SCENE

all the pemberly scenes really like when they show up and lizzie sees this bomb ass house that could’ve been hers and she’s just like, ‘hahahhahahahaha i fucked up, i fucked up. i fucked up so bad im sorry, im trash’

AND WHEN SHE MEETS GEORGIANA AND SHE LOOKS AT LIZZIE AND DARCY LIKE SMIRK.EMOJI

she knows

and the scene where DARCY AND BINGLEY PRACTICE WHAT HE’S GOING TO SAY TO JANE

REGENCY SOFT BRO AF

and the scene before when the bennets rush to make themselves look presentable and it’s sooooo awkward and forced HONESTLY THEY ARE THE BEST

AND JANE AND BINGLEY LOWKEY OTP FINALLY GETTING TOGETHER

AND JANE STANDING THERE IN THE SUNBEAM LOOKING LIKE A LITERAL ANGEL AND TEARS IN HER EYES AS SHE SAYS YES

and then

DARCY

LOOKING LIKE SOME FABIO SHIT

WALING ACROSS THE MOORS

TO HER

WHAT THE HELLLLLL

THE MUSIC SWELLS

HE’S RUGGED

‘YOU MUST KNOW… SURELY YOU MUST KNOW IT WAS ALL FOR YOU’

s t o p

and lizzie is standing there with her artfully messy hair

‘YOU HAVE BEWITCHED ME, BODY AND SOUL, AND I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU’

good BYE

and she kisses his hands? NOOOOOOO

THEY GONNA BANG SO MUCH

i keep this movie on every device i have in case i need an emergency pick me up

once i watched this with dinner at night and when it finished the dvd was on a loop and it started playing again…. and i watched it again… twice

[charonaraccoon]

♥️ 💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome 💌♥️

Aaaawwww, thank you♥️♥️♥️

[lily-katie]

for the made-up fic title thingy: running red lights

Thank you so much ♥️ I have no idea why it was so hard to up with something since it’s such an awesome title and I would be so interested in what it’s about XD but my brain went 404 error 404 for a moment and then had a lot of dubious ideas. But you deserve more than that. I hope it’s not too messy…

Red lights usually only have one meaning for Kevin, right before the start of a race and then they’re not important anymore. But for now it means he has to wait a lot longer for his next flight than he thought. The cancelled is mocking him.

For Nico red lights by now mean he has to wait until they turn green and traffic gets going again. No race starts for him, no adrenaline. But today is different, now that he sees the red light in front he just floors it. Full send only, he tells himself as he runs the red light and hopes he’ll get there in time.

After a fight Kevin misses his flight and then the next one simply gets cancelled, the red light keeps flashing. While he wasn’t sure about leaving in the first place, he’s even more annoyed about being stuck here now and everything else.

What he doesn’t know, is how many red lights Nico is running just to catch him in time. To tell him he loves him, too and that he’s an idiot.

Still not exactly happy with this but I hope you like it ♥️ if not feel free to send another one 🙈😂 or just yell at me ;) ♥️

[valarrrtargaryen]

marc márquez gets emotional in a post-race interview after having not won a race in 581 days and crashing out at the last three

interviewer: you deserve it [the win], and you needed it!

[lord-raccoon]

incredibly smol