It’s been a hot minute since I actually used Tumblr for reasons other than reading fanfic. Like, since the NSFW purge. Please disregard any posts or reblogs on or before 06/22/2023. I’m trying to “rebrand” so to speak now that I’m at least a minuscule bit more mature after five years or so. I don’t want to kill off history, but please keep in mind that all that history is- you know -history.
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
The only issue I have with ATSV is the lack of explanation we get for Miguel’s fangs.
We see him go to bite Da’Vinci Vulture in a very memorable shot, but ultimately doesn’t go through with it. The audience is left wondering why this Spider-Man has fangs. Vampire? Aesthetic? Other unspecified spidey powers? We’ll see later in the movie, I’m sure. (Spoiler alert: We do not)
Gwen refers to him as a “vampire ninja Spider-Man” when Miles asks about Miguel. So he must be a vampire, then. Cool.
(He’s not, in fact, actually a vampire.)
The final time we see his fangs is when he’s chasing down Miles in the Go Home Machine room. It’s almost a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment because he’s moving so fast at an odd angle and the artstyle throws a lot of unusual and interesting frames in there pretty frequently throughout the film. But as he’s ripping through the barrier, his fangs are gone.
Why are they rarely there, but defining enough for Gwen to call him a vampire? Why does he have them at all? What is this dude’s deal?
I’ve read a good chunk of the Spider-Man comics. I know what’s (probably) up, but based on what I see online, the majority of the audience doesn’t. And I’m kinda mad about that, actually. Gwen interrupting Miguel’s “Let’s do this one last time” bit at the beginning was funny, but sacrificed a lot of answers to questions that stuck with a good chunk of viewers. We don’t know Miguel’s backstory, we only really know one (albeit important) event that happened to him, as well as what he does right now at the Spider Society.
Why the fangs? Vampire, I guess. Why the claws? To look cool, probably. Why the red eyes? Also because vampire. Or because spider. What’s the deal with the injection? Uhhh.. Hologram suit? We don’t know.
I wish they had told us more about why Miguel is (physically) the way he is. I’m really hoping we’ll get a complete “My name is Miguel O’Hara. I’m this dimension’s one and only Spider-Man” sequence in Beyond the Spider-Verse because we can only guess what’s up with a really substantial antagonist.
Synopsis: Earth 1218, a place where superheroes and supervillains were nothing but mere fiction- however with the current rise in multidimensional travel- who's to say someone can't get stuck in another place?
Warnings: None, maybe bad writing again Idk
It’d been a long day in your opinion, work was draining, people were draining- everything was draining.
You had to fight the urge to collapse in the entryway hall of your apartment upon entering trying to roll yourself to at least change into some comfortable clothes. At least you had the rest of the week off- the plus side of taking over some extra shifts you supposed.
Quickly peeling off your uniform and tossing it across the room you dawned some random loungewear set; finding yourself quickly tucked within the corner of your couch. Eyes sleepily watching the brightly coloured movie Netflix had recently added.
“Is he voiced by Nicolas Cage?” Murmuring to yourself while watching the monochromatic character speak you let out a sigh. The newest addition to the series had come out not too long ago and in your opinion, it was one of the best movies of the year.
Sucks that you’d have to wait a year for part two, but at least there was a plethora of fan content surfing the internet. Specifically edits and art of your favorite character,
Miguel O’Hara. What a man.
Shaking your head a little at the thought of simping for a 2D character when you were less than capable of keeping a conversation with a real person had you laughing to yourself.
The picture presumably coming off as crazy if you had a roommate or anyone else staying in your apartment, however, it was just you.
Beginning to doze off once again, your eyes barely took in the sight of King pins collider on screen. The bright light of the screen illuminated your entire apartment as though a spotlight had been shining into the room.
The sound of metal clashing against something grated against your ears- you didn't recall having surround sound let alone speakers hooked up to your TV, and why was it so damn bright.
To your relief, the light began to die down, although contrary to the peace and quiet you’d have you were unexpectedly shoved back alongside your couch.
You and the large piece of furniture flipping onto its back skidding across the hardwood floors only stopping once it'd crashed into your dining room set.
Eyes wide and brain startlingly awake now compared to a few second ago you shot up only to duck as a metal pole? Weapon?
No no, it was moving it was moving a lot.
A metal claw had seemingly embedded itself into the wall, the base of it extending in an array of wires inevitably connecting to- the back of a person?
If you weren’t in a state of shock at the moment you were sure your brain could process things better- however between the metal tendrils and claws flying around your apartment and the other sudden intruder clinging to the ceiling- you didn’t think you’d ever recover.
The scuffle they had began to grow one-sided, the other individual who you haven’t quite gotten a good view seemingly winning the fight.
Well, at least you thought they were until the other swung their tendrils around once again, knocking the stranger into the wall where the dining set had been shoved into.
“I had fun really. But I must be going. Tests to run and, other heroes to deal with.” With an almost condescending wave, the perpetrator had opened what you could only describe as a bright orange doorway, their form disappeared just as quickly as the person beside you had shot up.
An irritated yell left them upon being unable to catch the doorway, their tall form standing almost eerily in your living room all the while growing increasingly more annoyed as the watch wrapped around their wrist failed to work in the way they wanted it to.
Careful this time around to peek over the flipped couch your mouth nearly fell open at the illuminated red and blue suit, the man's voice loudly filling the apartment. “Lyla! Lyla, can you hear me? Anyone- Damn it!”
Growing more aggravated he couldn’t help but begin aggressively tapping the face of his watch, only to result in nothing.
A few more low complaints left him before he sucked in a breath beginning to assess the room. The apartment was trashed thanks to his recent fight, however, that didn’t catch his attention quite as much as the sight of you peering over the edge of your flipped couch.
“You,” pointing an almost accusing finger he’d sucked in a breath trying to make his next words less intimidating despite the irritation he felt. “Where am I?”
The question was simple, something he should’ve known however circumstances proved otherwise.
Almost surprised he’d noticed your presence your mouth felt dry, however despite the way your heart thumped and your brain buzzed you answered.
“Earth. 1218 if you want specifics.”
The eyelets of his mask seemed to widen a little at that, his attention moving around the room once again falling upon the surprisingly still-playing movie. The scene where everyone had joined together to fight the main bad guy to be exact.
Unmoving from your spot you waited for his response, nerves still buzzing and palms beginning to sweat.
Remaining quiet he raised a hand rubbing at the bridge of his nose, the head of his suit gradually disappearing until untamed brown hair was revealed. “This,” trying to figure out what he wanted to ask his head turned back to you, his eyes boring into you. “Actually no. You, know me? Yes?”
Nodding your head in response it seems like that didn’t quite give him any reassurance, so instead you spoke. “You’re Miguel O’Hara, Spider-Man 2099.” Finding yourself processing things a little better you'd added a comment. “But the Across the Spider-verse version.”
Nodding his head his hands crossed over one another, the man began to pace back and forth a little in thought.
He couldn’t believe it- out of millions of universes- he was stuck in the one where Alchemax didn’t exist.
Great.
“Was that Doctor Octopus? Or I mean one of them?”
Hearing you speak up once more his gaze moved to meet yours, a hand raising to address you. “That shouldn’t concern you.”
“Ok well if it doesn’t concern me, then why is my apartment trashed and why are you standing in my living room?”
Finding it in you to chime back right after you went to stand only to duck back down behind the couch realizing that the shirt you’d happen to throw on was a printed copy of the man’s suit.
Continuing to stare down at you his jaw clenched, arms coming to overlap one another.
Miguel had decided to ignore your input for the moment speaking as though he didn’t care for property damage. “Do you have a computer I could use?”
It was a simple question however with a nod you’d hesitant stood up again, this time snagging the blanket you previously had on to hide your attire. “Yeah…it’s uh over here.”
A bit wary of passing the man your eyes casted across him, a part of you wanting to engrave each detail into your mind while another part still had a tough time dealing with the situation.
He was so much taller than you’d thought- buffer too and much much more intimidating.
Following with quiet steps Miguel took in the rest of your apartment- quaint really. A little clutter here and there but he supposed it just gave the place some character.
“It’s a bit old but…” “This’ll be fine.” Cutting in Miguel had stepped in through the doorway you held open, large form sticking out like a sore thumb against the small guest room where you’d stuck a computer and desk, trying your best at making an office.
“Password is 2099.” At this point, you could feel exhaustion begin to creep in once more, the adrenaline felt earlier wearing down. “If you need anything I guess just uh call?”
You really should’ve thought everything out a little more, however, perhaps this was some strange dream and you’d really just passed out at work.
Either way, you were certain things were going to be fine by tomorrow morning.
---
Waking up and walking towards the main area of your apartment you barely concealed a yawn, tired eyes briefly drifting across the room seeing that the couch was in its usual spot, as was the rest of your furniture.
However, despite wanting to believe everything was a figment of your imagination- the dents in the wall and the man currently staring out the window told you otherwise. From the neck down his suit seemed to still be present, while his face remained free of the costume.
“Morning?” Finding yourself growing nervous once you’d come to the acceptance of a fictional character standing within your apartment, you remained observing him from a distance, sock-clad feet shuffling towards the kitchen where you tapped your fingers among the counter. “Did you want like a coffee or something?”
Taking in a deep breath Miguel's gaze looked towards where you stood through the reflection in the window, eyes sharp yet his form was less ridged than it was the night prior. “How likely is it that I get recognized here.”
The question was simple, something he could guess the answer to given the circumstances however it didn’t exactly hurt to get an outsider's perspective. He’d spend nearly the entire night looking into resources that could possibly help only to come up upon practically nothing.
He was basically on his own here.
Having made a fresh pot of coffee you’d poured two mugs in case the man decided he wanted something, your hands coming to curve around your own as you pondered over the question. Eyes trailing across his back for a second finding that the cartoony and animated look he had yesterday didn’t seem to stick and that he appeared more lifelike- or well, human-like in the sense that someone could just think he was a cosplayer or something along those lines.
“I wouldn’t say that likely?” Watching him turn around from his spot, the man regarded you with an inquisitive gaze, one that practically told you he was trying to gauge what kind of a person you were. “But don’t you have to get back to- you know?”
Seeing the way he noted the implication you were a little surprised as the man began nearing, the wrist that his watch had been wrapped around being lifted above the counter in clear view for you to see. “Do you see this?” With his other hand, he motioned towards what appeared to have been some sort of rust, the corner of the glass screen beginning to become chipped away. “Nanobots. They’re going to keep eating the exterior and interior until nothing is left.”
Now, there was a part of him that didn’t really want to divulge in any information with you- a part of his brain feeling like he should be guarded instead knowing that you knew more about him then he did about you.
It rubbed him the wrong way- But, it was also a common thing in this universe, so he couldn’t fault you there. If he wanted to get back and deal with things he’d have to make a new watch entirely from scratch, and if he had to do that he needed someone who knew their way around considering he was now pretty much left with only the bare minimum of information around your world.
Earth 1218 wasn’t particularly a place he wanted to be stuck in nor really pay attention to. A fault on his end he will admit.
“So? What are you planning to do?” Hesitant to ask more questions you tried to read the blank look set out across his face, the man’s brows faintly furrowing all the while he’d ended up silently accepting the other mug of coffee you’d made.
A small win in your books.
“I need to build a new one.” Answering simply he stared over the rim of the mug as he took a sip, brown hues boring into your skull as if tempting you to speak.
“And what is your plan there?”
At this point it’s not like telling you wouldn’t hurt, heroes didn’t exist in your world and neither did villains so he supposed the random civilian whose apartment he’d landed in at least deserved at least some explanation.
“Since the portal opened up in your apartment the interdimensional specks are still present here, they can be utilized to open a new doorway through a catalyst where one will open temporarily back to where the original one had opened up- which was my dimension.” Quickly explaining that he finished looking over your slightly confused look before letting out a sigh, the mug briefly being set onto the counter.
“When you start a barbeque you turn on the propane first right?” You gave a nod and he continued, “Then you use the sparker to light the propane.” He paused letting you absorb his example, the man right after using his hands to gesture around as if he were talking to a child. “The propane is like the specks and the catalyst is the sparker.”
“Do the specks ever leave?”
“I don’t know,” Finding that he himself didn’t have an answer to that he let out a breath, hand beginning to tap along the countertop.
“But this is why I need to move fast.”
---
Now, it wasn’t that you didn't want to help Miguel- quite the contrary you were elated to have been able to help him. However, he still was one of your biggest fictional crushes and currently, you’d both been crammed within the confines of your small car. A glimmer of regret sparked across your expression upon realizing how strange the music on your phone was as well as how much of a fan you actually were.
So embarrassing.
Despite your clearly tense form, he seemed rather calm. Eyes taking in as much as they could all the while running his fingers across the civilian clothes he’d swapped into. He trusted your reassurance of people not being able to recognize him, the small mirror within your apartment becoming an item of interest as he noted the change in his appearance.
It was very strange.
“So do you like, have a mental list of what you need? Or are we just going to walk in blind?” Willing yourself to break the silence you’d pulled into the parking lot of a department store, something you assumed would have at least some of the things that Miguel would need.
“I have a general idea. You don’t have to worry about it.”
“Great.” Finding yourself still sitting in the car despite having parked it you watched Miguel slip out through your peripheral, the man’s tall frame stepping away from the car only to pause.
Was…wait, was he waiting for you?
As if realizing this, you scrambled to collect your things quickly slipping out of the car and locking it behind you. Your shoes tapped against the cement as you’d caught up with the brunette coming to walk an arm's length away.
Stepping into the store you’d moved to grab a cart, arms folding over the handles as you trailed behind your newly three-dimensional companion. His sharp gaze scanning each and everything occasionally seeing something of interest into the cart.
“What is the most recent thing that was invented here?” Glancing back at where you leisurely strolled behind him Miguel watched as his voice had caused you to jump slightly, attention trailing away from whatever was on your mind.
“Probably VR? That’s I think the most recent thing. No flying cars or anything like that here- too much of a liability really if you think about it. People are stupid.”
Unsure of what to really take from that answer he couldn’t help but let out a low snort, head shaking from one side to the other in a sort of agreement towards your ‘people are stupid’ bit.
Conversation after that seemed to come a bit easier, the topic ranging from either of you asking a question to the other or just something else mundane.
It wasn’t really much longer till the two of you were back in your apartment, bags in hand filled with miscellaneous items that may or may not help with Miguel's current situation. It didn’t take long for both of you to part; you mentioned how you were going to patch up the holes left in the wall and Miguel just motioning towards your office which at this point had become his temporary residence.
At least for the time being. Only time would tell how long he would be stuck there.
---
“A hologram, it’s a hologram.”
“No, it’s UMF, not a hologram. Unstable Molecule Fabric.”
“But is it actually fabric? I haven't read the comics.” Starring almost too intently down at Miguel's arm that was still clad in his suit you spared him a glance, the tips of your ears nearly burning off at the ‘are you kidding?’ look he’d given.
“If it were fabric I’d tear through it anytime I needed to use these.” Raising his hand small claw-like spikes rose from the pads of his fingers, something you’d nearly forgotten alongside the fact he had fangs.
It’d been about three days since his initial appearance, and a watch prototype was steadily being made however despite the many protests on his end you were able to convince the man to take a break here and there.
Just like a regular person he still needed to eat and sleep and whatnot, and with nobody else there to remind him- namely Lyla, you were the only person left.
He was aggravated about it when you’d first done it, however, the retort of ‘making up for the damage to my apartment’ was what kept his annoyance at bay- he did feel bad at this point for the amount of damage that was caused despite not really caring when it first happened.
You’d been quite helpful- not in the same sense as another spider-person or Lyla but in the sense of a personified conscience.
That and he found it amusing sometimes how you’d often try to hide whatever spider-themed merchandise you had. The look of shock and embarrassment was written across your face when he’d found a mug with the same design as his mask was nearly priceless.
In a comedic sense of course- you were, entertaining.
As if snapping back to reality he retracted the claws, shaking his head a bit-Focus. “I need to get back to working on the device.”
“Alright. You know where to find me if you need me.” Musing that out knowing that he was eager to get back to work you watched him spare you a nod, form disappearing back into the hallway where you’d only see him emerge from once every few hours.
If that guy could work himself to death you’d bet he would.
---
Emerging from the room he’d been in Miguel let out a breath, his watch was still gradually deteriorating while the watch he’d been working on seemed at least a quarter of the way done-there were so many things he still had to do, and had to fix before he could even try and open up a gate.
Raising a hand and running it through his hair he let out a breath, eyes taking a moment to adjust to the lack of light in the apartment spotting the gentle glow of the living room TV. Glancing towards the end of the hall where your room had been he could see that the door was open and nobody was inside leading him to assume you’d been curled up on the couch as he’d noted you often did.
There were a few things you did that he found himself unwillingly taking note of. One of the few being how you always nestled yourself into the very corner of the couch when watching a show or movie, or- as of recently how whenever you brewed coffee or tea that you’d made a second cup.
Quietly trekking through the hallway and into the main room another sigh left him upon seeing the way you’d fallen asleep, three thoughts beginning to conflict one another within the confines of his brain as he’d waited to see if you were indeed asleep.
Which you were.
Muttering under his breath in another language he trailed a little closer; on one hand he should just wake you up and remind you of the last time you’d fallen asleep on the couch and had complained for the whole day. However on another hand, he felt like the sight brought some comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Most of the interaction with you brought some sort of strange comfort- something he tried his damnedest to ignore in favor of dealing with his current circumstances. He knew Lyla for sure would be either teasing or harping on him for whatever reason.
Weighing all his options he seemed to just give in, the man's frame looming before you as he’d leaned down to stick his arms under your curled-up frame, the blanket you had coming along as he’d hauled you up silently.
What was he thinking-
A low hum in what he could only describe as content left you, cheek leaning to the side against him as he’d marched down the hall coming to lean over the surface of your bed where he set you down. Gaze softening only a little as he’d puffed out a breath through his nose.
“Stop it O’Hara.” Remarking that to himself he’d turned on his heel, head shaking from side to side.
“You have your priorities.”
---
Waking up nestled within the warm covers of your bed wasn’t the first thing that roused you from sleep- no no, the thing that roused you was the mug currently being held in front of your sleeping form. Mouth dry and hair a mess.
“Morning.”
Blinking a few times at the greeting you stared up at Miguel in suspicion, heart thumping softly at how the morning sun that’d crept through your curtains illuminated his defined features.
“Did you- is the watch finished?” Noting how he donned civilian clothes instead of his suit you blinked a few more times trying to figure out why there was this feeling of missing something.
“Almost.” Answering easily he moved to lean against the side of your doorframe, brown hues regarding you with a mix of undecipherable emotions. “Your neighbour came knocking on your door this morning.”
Having taken a sip from your mug you nearly choked at what he’d said, knowing that no matter which neighbour it was that they were nosy as hell.
“And you didn’t come get me? What did they want?”
At that, you swore you could see the edge of his lip twitch up, shoulder pushing off the doorframe. “She said to keep it quiet. There's kids in the building.”
Setting your drink to the side you flung the covers of your bed over your face, a sort of muffled groan coming out. That was so embarrassing they must’ve gotten the wrong impression by all the noise when the fight had happened- oh god that- as if coming to a realization you flung the sheets back down. “And what did you say?!”
“I apologized,” In the moment he wasn’t sure what exactly to say, attention focused on how you were nearly at the edge of your seat in anticipation awaiting the response- face faintly flushed. “And told her we’d keep it down.”
Why did he say that? He wasn’t sure, it was out of character a bit but the reaction it got out of you made the response all the better.
Maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get to know you properly.
---
As he’d mentioned the watch was finished within a few days. The device now sitting silently ontop of the desk; the plan of using it later being written off for the time being.
In those days you’d taken note of the slight banter that’d happen between yourself and Miguel. Things seemingly becoming more friendly despite the situation and you couldn’t help but be more than enthused about it.
“You want to see some of my favourite places?” Taken aback by the request you stated at him in a mix between disbelief and surprise. “I thought you had to go back as soon as possible?”
“I do, but the window to open a gate is open better around the time it was last time- so late in the evening.”
Whether that was an excuse or not was up to you to discern.
Pursing your lips together you continued to stare at him inquisitively. “Ok well, uh we could go check out this market? I don’t know how good it is now since I haven’t been able to go in years.”
“If that’s where you’d like to go.”
Side eyeing him once more you nodded lightly, beginning to round up what you needed before the two of you had quickly set off.
The cars atmosphere quiet until he’d spoken. “When all this first happened. What did you think?”
Perhaps it was the inevitability of him having to leave that spurred the question on or had led him to become more open- but nonetheless the question was something he’d grown curious about.
When you’d first met he could tell you were in a state of shock, whether from the fight or from his appearance didn’t matter. Your answers were thought out and yet he recalled how you’d walked around him at a distance, keeping that distance until later on. Disbelief is what he chalked it up to however he was also partially to blame on the distance.
“Well, I thought I was crazy- of course who wouldn’t. I thought maybe it was some weird vivid dream.” Your fingers began to tap softly against the steering wheel. “Also you’re like really intimidating, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told.”
“Self awareness is the key to happiness.” Pulling into the parking lot outside of where the little market was you quickly popped out, excitement gradually brewing within you.
Shaking his head he himself stepped out of the car, moving to trail behind you as you begun maneuvering through the varying stalls. Little hand carved and hand made trinkets covered each table, the person standing behind sparing those who’d passed by a kind smile.
It was so calm over here- in this world. Compared to really anything he had to deal with.
“Miguel-“ Brown hues warmly trailed towards where you had emerged from, the man unknowingly having spaced out for a second enough for you to disappeared and come back. “Give me your hand.”
“Why?”
“Just- hold it out for me come on, this is your last day here.” Putting your own had up and trying to coax him to do the same you quickly moved to lace your hand with his once he’d complied, your other hand moving a bracelet from your wrist across your hands onto his.
“There.” Pulling your hand back your face flushed a little at the stoic look he had, eyes fixed on the small accessory. “I tried to pick something that sits flat for you and doesn’t look particularly flashy.”
As you’d mentioned it wasn’t particularly flashy, the design of it was just a collection of chevrons wrapping around the length of his wrist made up of some sort of grey stone.
Forcing a cough into his hand his face turned to the side. “Thank you.”
That small show of gratitude nearly had you bouncing off the ground. A smile that could probably rival the sun bloomed across your face.
“I’m glad you like it, it’s just a little something to remind me by.”
“You’re not that immemorable.”
It seemed like a slight changing of tide after that, the both of your resuming your little stroll through the stalls bringing up some meaningless conversation.
It felt like, now that everything was coming to an end you’d never felt more at home. Thinking back on it you quite enjoyed Miguel’s company, not just in the ‘you were my fictional crush kind of way’ but in the way that a domestic couple would- as much as you wouldn’t say that out loud.
That sort of companionship was something your heart yearned for however it just showed you that fate was a cruel thing- maybe this was your canon event.
Reaching the unattainable and being doomed to fall.
—-
“And you’re sure this won’t blow up my apartment or something?”
“It might?”
“That is not comforting at all.” Rolling your eyes in return at his answer you remained slightly ducked behind the couch while Miguel stood where he first did when he first arrived.
The watch he previously wore was stripped away, the corroded metal being too far gone to savage and in its place was the missmash of parts that made up what you could only assume was the new one.
Watching him tap a few things onto it you couldn’t help but call out, “Miguel,” Turning briefly to show you had his attention you continued. “Thanks.”
“For?”
Your lips curled into a faint smile, “not being a product of my psychosis.”
His lips quirked up at this, head shaking as a low airy laugh left him. A sort of melancholic look crossing his face as he tapped a few more things among his watch, a spark of orange gradually beginning to grow until a portal had opened up. “See you around (Y/N).”
Nodding his way you couldn’t help but wish the portal hadn’t opened up in the frist place- but it did and just as quickly as it’d opened it closed leaving you on your own.
An almost bitter laugh leaving your lips.
---
Weeks later you found yourself snuggled into the comfort of your bed, hand scrolling aimlessly across some edits. The sound of your phone barely did much in comparison to the quiet thrum of your apparement.
Despite knowing you’d be coming home to an empty apartment you couldn’t help but think deep in your heart that something might be different.
Nodding off a little your eyes barely took note of the light shining into your livingroom, the orange glow disappearing quickly.
Your brows furrowed at this, phone clutched tightly within your hand as you strained your ears to listen for anything.
Nothing.
Slipping out from beneath the safety of your blankets your feet quietly padded their way down the hall, eyes struggling to adjust to the dark. Your hand followed the length of the wall, heart rate gradually beginning to speed up as you willed yourself to look into the livingroom.
Nothing.
Letting out a breath you tensed quickly as something had pressed against your eyes, your own hands reactively reaching up finding them wrapping around someone’s wrists. Their large hands being the reason for your current lack of vision.
The feeling of someone leaning over your shoulder had caused your nerves to spike, however once their spoke did your nerves spike for a different reason.
Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by
Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.
You. Are. Overstimulated.
People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.
These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.
Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time
Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!
At first I couldn’t figure out what the fuck they were gonna do to make it sound like the bus was in a sandstorm. And then it fucking hit me like a freight train.
heres a good way of farming berries - plant them under trapdoors so you can still easily reach them and pick up the berries, but not get harmed by them!
I’m posting the links here because the link keeps on a loop with adfly
IF YOU DRAW OR DESIGN
Instead of PHOTOSHOP, try GIMP
Instead of LIGHTROOM, try PAINT.DOT.NET
Instead of ILLUSTRATOR, try INKSCAPE
Instead of INDESIGN, try CANVA or SCRIBUS
IF YOU MAKE PICTURES MOVE
Instead of PREMIERE, try DAVINCI RESOLVE
Instead of ANIMATE/FLASH, try OPENTOONZ or BLENDER
Instead of AFTER EFFECTS, try WAX, BLENDER or FUSION
IF YOU BUILD WEBSITES OR SOFTWARE
Instead of DREAMWAVER, SPARK or XD, try WIX, WEEBLY, or WORDPRESS.COM or WORDPRESS.ORG
IF YOU DO STUFF THAT REQUIRES THESE OTHER PROGRAMS
Instead of AUDITION, try AUDACITY
Instead of ACROBAT PRO, try FOXIT READER or PDF ESCAPE
Instead of INCOPY, try LOVING YOURSELF AND USING LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE (WHO USES THIS???)
IF YOU NEED STOCK PHOTOS OR FONTS
Instead of ADOBE STOCK, try PEXELS, UNSPLASH, or PIXABAY
Instead of ADOBE PHONTS, try GOOGLE FONTS or DAFONT
BONUS: If you need FREE MUSIC OR SOUND EFFECTS, try YOUTUBE AUDIO LIBRARY or SOUNDBIBLE
My bonuses:
IF YOU DRAW OR DESIGN
Instead of PHOTOSHOP, try FIREALPACA , SAI , SKETCHBOOK or KRITA (these latter two are great!)
Instead of LIGHTROOM, try PHOTOSCAPE
IF YOU MAKE PICTURES MOVE
Instead of PREMIERE, try SHOTCUT
Instead of ANIMATE/FLASH, try PENCIL2D ANIMATION, LIVE2D, OR E-MOTE
IF YOU NEED STOCK PHOTOS
Instead of ADOBE STOCK, try MORGUEFILE.COM
