Something Smart. Also Intelligent. Probably. Maybe

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[ksfoxwald]

#her crew is all pig muppets#and circe turns them human (@dubiousculturalartifact)

this is perfect

[just-deer-things]

what a beautiful time of year everyone is growing veegtables for me spacifically, one problem though you need to make fences shorter im sure its a mistake but i cant reach some of them

[just-deer-things]

hello imptortant message from deer youyr doing it agen. i cant eet the vegbals you are growing for me like this

[frawgs]

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

[frawgs]

expired .

[morganicapples]

[dangerphd]

TdF Day 21: A Plan Is Just A List of Things That Doesn't Happen

spun and plied today: 50/50 jacob/cheviot; 420m/205g

I think it will stripe. one ply tonal purple, one ply grey/blue and pink in repeating sections. thinking about looooong self-striping yarn as easy woven plaids now...

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

[sentient-tent]

This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes

[sentient-tent]

reblog to feed her notes

[elodieunderglass]

How is she doing this

[elodieunderglass]

Oh well none of my business

[captain-price-returns]

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

[helpmeiwasforcedtobehere]

Larry truly is a politician. He is known for not being terribly effective at his one job (catching mice), but he caught one mouse and immediately called a press conference to show it off.

[peluxe]

Cristo de los Espejos, 2019

Valerio Gámez

[juunipupu]

Knight under Everything

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

while they share a similar base flavor, dick tastes more umami while pussy tastes more acidic, though recent menstruation conveys an overwhelming metallic flavor that some diners object to (though i am not one of them). recommended wine pairings are

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

(today i learnt that if you don’t know how a post should end, just post it unfinished anyway and someone else will come up with an ending)

[homunculus-argument]

Autism is some monkey's paw sort of shit, you've got the power to give people the most devastating rip-your-scalp-off level insults that will haunt them for life, with a completely straight face, but the catch is that you don't do it on purpose and also have no idea that you're doing it at all before people get mad at you for no apparent reason again.

[rosettyller]

[april]

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

[grenade-maid]

Whenever I see someone refer to "Victorian era-" for places outside the UK I'm tempted to start saying shit like "Han Dynasty era Rome", "Soviet era Australia" etc

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

“Welcome to Soviet America, home of the McDonalds and Cocaine Cola. Long live Comrade Reagan.”

[olivia-online]

The Civil War, or as I like to call it, Late Tokugawa Period America

[melonisopod]

I know this is a joke but this helps me put a lot of historical periods into perspective.

[computationalcalculator]

"cowboys were a sort of itinerant warrior class common in meiji-era texas"

[pussyhoundspock]

joining the war on kids reading any book they want on the side of kids reading any book they want. simply you will be fine. it's even good to be confronted with things you don't understand and even find upsetting, uncomfortable and difficult. it's a surprise tool that will help you later.

[nonevahed]

prev tags:

literally ok so not a funny story but kind of funny? when I was nine I encountered rape in a book and I was like hey mom what’s this mean and she explained it and I was like oh. gross. and then like two weeks later a girl on the bus abruptly disclosed her csa and we were all like ????? what ???? but I was like wait hang on there’s a word for that ☝️🤓 and explained what it meant and that it was illegal and that you could talk to a teacher or my mom if it had happened to you and everyone was like ohhhhh I see I see and very somberly comforted the girl (she was safe she was removed from her home and living with my neighbor at the time so it wasn’t Urgent)

[zarohk]

And this is a perfect illustration of why it is important for kids to read or variety of things, and why abusers don’t want them to.

[therottingbones-sys]

dehumanization as horror is great and all but what about humanization as horror. Being forced into a role that was not made for you. Being forced to fulfill expectations that you can never achieve. Being made to exist in a society that so cruelly expects you to act in a way that is against your nature.

[unyieldingsilence]

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[lmtyl]

[moniquill]

(https://mountainmoonvolcano.tumblr.com/post/66762332783)

[followthebluebell]

I spent like thirty minutes trying to get one good picture where he doesn't look like a disappointed father who just learned his daughter wants to drop out of medical school to marry her highschool sweetheart who's life ambition is weed.

I failed.

Now he's disappointed in me too 😞