THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS

[chelseasue9999]

Dear 3am

I close my eyes and the screens appear. Everything I did wrong today, every conversation that could have gone better, every awkward motion, all the things I didn't accomplish, all the things that are not going well. More screens appear showing the same things for the week, more for the month, more for the year. On and on until I swirl in a vast wave of all the things I've ever done wrong, all the things I could have, should have done differently.... People desperately hope to feel that moment their heart races, I plead for mine to just slow down for one minute.... I plead for my mind to shut down. Just one moment of peace. One night of sleep.... One day without, over thinking and over analyzing every interaction, every choice.... 3am my dear friend we meet again...

[chelseasue9999]

In To The Light

Repost from my other blog Today was a big day for me, I got out of bed before noon without having a specific reason to. I got up in a relatively good mood, worked out, and made myself a healthy lunch. This doesn’t sound like much, but it is. Last week was one of those weeks, the type of week where the darkness consumed everything. The darkness works like a magnet holding me down to my bed. I tried to pull away and tell myself I have things to do, I want to work out, go outside, I need to run errands. The darkness swallows me telling me to I’m worthless, are you really going to contribute anything by getting out of bed, really you have nothing important to do anyways. I listen to the darkness and I stay in bed. I let my room become a disaster of clean clothes mixing with dirty, a pyramid of empty beer cans, piles of unopened mail, and honestly it probably doesn’t smell that great. I hate it. I should be living an awesome life. I’m a grown women, I should be able to do the simplest tasks like laundry. Going to the grocery store, shouldn’t be a chore. But today, I fought it. I got out of bed. It wasn’t the biggest accomplishment. I don’t feel good enough to go outside, or run the errands I probably should. It doesn’t matter though because the darkness got a little brighter, only slightly. It’s enough. Enough to give me a little hope that the light is there. I get that the darkness will always be a big part of who I am. It will follow me around. No matter how hard I try, I don’t think I’ll ever be surrounded by the light. But it’s the little battles that count, right?

[chelseasue9999]

Tip #6

Tip #6

Make the wrong choice every once in awhile. We all have those two voices in the back of our heads, one is telling us "no don't do the thing, it's a bad idea", the other "do it, it'll be ok, just do it". Now here me out, obviously there are a lot of times you should definitely not listen to the voice saying do it. Life and death situations, situations that might ruin your life, using protection, etc. Those are the times you should probably just listen to the one saying its a bad idea. I just think every once in awhile, when it's something small, you should just do the thing that seems like a bad idea. Go home with the person you just met at the bar (as long as you're safe), put that thing you really want on your credit card, drink more then you should, or spend the day watching Netflix instead of doing what you need too. It may seem silly, but I think it's important to do the irrational thing. Yea you might regret it, but you also might have a great time (granted you can regret something that was fun). We should just embrace the bad choices we get to experience in our twenties.

[chelseasue9999]

Had an awesome time wine tasting with Shanna and Brittany. Sorry Shanna still not a #wino, I'll stick with my beer. #palisadecolorado #winecountry #bffs

[chelseasue9999]

Tip #5 Create a better relationship with your siblings. All but one of my siblings, are way younger then me. I am 26, and my siblings are 22, 16, 15, 14, and 8. I basically didn't build a normal sibling relationship with any of them. My parents are divorced, and they are all my half siblings, so I didn't live with most of them. The one I did live with, I wasn't close to because we are a full 10 years apart. I was always very jealous of the relationships my friends had with their siblings. Even though they fight, their siblings and them are best friends. Sometime in my early twenties, I realized even though my siblings and I were so far apart, it didn't mean we couldn't be that close. I made it a point to spend quality time with each of them, and I still do. There may be a generation gap, but they are still five of my closest friends, and as a bonus they keep me young and hip (or at least I like to think so). So tip #5, it's never too late to grow closer to your siblings.

[chelseasue9999]

Tip #4

Tip #4

I feel like this tip is very important to every twenty something out there. It is one that I struggle with constantly especially today. Tip #4 is don’t compare your self to those your age around you. I know it sounds simple, but it’s one of the hardest things to do throughout life, and it’s even harder in your twenties. For example: my sister’s brother had a baby yesterday. We are the same age, and grew up together. It sent me, irrationally, into a panic. “Oh God, I’m 26, my clocks ticking for children. What if it’s already too late!” I don’t even know if I want kids, but his baby made me feel like if I didn’t have one right now, I could miss my chance. I also started thinking about being single, my divorce, and even my career choice.

We all do this. We compare where we are in life with those around us. But, we shouldn’t. I know we live in a society that has set life stages. Go to college, find a career, get married, and then have babies. Why? Who knows. It doesn’t mean you need to follow it, or if you do follow it, it doesn’t mean you stage/pace will be the same as those around you. That’s ok. Where ever you are, what ever you are doing right now. As long as it’s what you want, be happy with it. Don’t let other people’s stages effect yours.

[chelseasue9999]

Tip #3

Tip #3 Get to know yourself. I don't mean go on some spiritual journey at a zen center. I also don't mean go on some life changing solo trip. Although, if you can do either those things, and you're into that sort of thing, go for it that sounds awesome! What I mean is spend some time by yourself away from the people who influence you. Listen to all sorts of music until one speaks out to you. Take a relaxing bath. Read all sorts of different books. Watch all genres of movies. Start a dream journal. Draw, write, knit, skydive. Try new foods. Try new things in general. Do these things, and you'll probably see you're into things you didn't know you were into, or that you don't actually like some of the things you thought you did. Also take stupid personality quizzes online. I highly recommend finding out your MBTI personality type. It could change how you see yourself, and help you understand why you say things or act a certain way. If you're into it study up on your zodiac sign. I'm personally not a big believer, but I still find it interesting. I also know a couple people who swear by it. On the same track, figure out your beliefs. Study religion, all kinds. See things from different perspectives. At around 24, I realized I wasn't the Chelsea I thought I was. I didn't want the same things I had previously, and I didn't really like where I was going in life. I think I had hidden parts of myself for so long, and formed to those around me, that I really didn't know who I was. That was probably one of the worst years of my life, I changed majors in college even though I was about to graduate, I got divorced, and my depression and anxiety were at a all time high. But, I got through it. And afterwards, I did get to know Chelsea. The real Chelsea, and that Chelsea was a hell of a lot better then the old Chelsea. A longer tip today because I think it's a really important one.

[chelseasue9999]

Tip #2

Tip #2 My second tip for surviving your twenties? Stop looking for "the one", your soulmate, the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. It's a waste of time. I'm not saying don't date: I have Tinder, I go out, I was even married once. I am just saying that if you spend all your time looking for that one person you just "can't" live without, you're going to miss out on the life in front of you. You'll miss out on realizing you've probably already met your so called "soulmate". It's your best friends. The people you have already spent your life with, and you already cannot live without. It's your sister, your brother. And no I don't mean this in some weird you should marry your best friend or your sibling, I mean that these are the people you're going to want around, that you're going to have the time of your life with. So don't miss out on that, by continually ignoring them for your newest Bae. Don't get me wrong, love, sex, relationships they are important. And there could be a great love of your life out there(so keep dating), just don't miss out spending time with the ones who are already in your life.

[chelseasue9999]

Tip #1

Tip #1 This is going to sound cliche but who cares? Find a career you love. Last summer, I took a seasonal position at a Park, and it is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Yes, I only technically have a job six months out of the year, and that is extremely stressful. I have bills, probably too many bills to make that kind of decision. I have a ridiculous amount of student loans. More credit card debt then I usually admit to having. Plus normal bills, car payment, rent, utilities, etc. So I understand that when I say take your dream job, even if it's seasonal, that sounds like crazy talk. I left a full time job, that paid decent, to do so, and it was so with it. If you find a job that you love, you're not miserable all the time. I like going to work. I miss it on my days off. I get paid to talk to people at a beautiful place, I get paid to go on hikes, and talk about history (I have a history degree, I know that doesn't excite most people). Working at the park, has been the best time of my life. It is my off season right now. I don't have a full time job. It is scary. But it is doable, I work part time elsewhere, I take odd jobs, and I have a tight budget. To have my dream career the other six months out of the year, makes it completely worth it. So my first tip to surviving the quarter life crisis, find an amazing job that you love. Even if everyone thinks you're crazy because it's part time, seasonal, something that doesn't pay well, something not everyone makes it at, or even an unpaid internship. Just do it. Trust me it is worth the risk.

[chelseasue9999]

How To

I started this blog, who knows when, with every intention of using it. Using it to talk about the random chaos that is being in your twenties. I was going to talk about all the ways I was getting through what people refer to as the quarter life crisis. Obviously that never happened. I do have another blog where I ramble about my various adventures, but it was never what I had intended this blog to be. So I've decided this year, that I'm going to write the "how to" blog I originally wanted to write. Not all the ideas are original. Most have been said before, but all the tips I will write, are truly the things that are helping me get through being twenty something. I don't need anybody to agree with me, I don't really even care if people actually read it. This is just something I want to do, for me. A public look at my inner thoughts.

[chelseasue9999]

[chelseasue9999]

Top Ten

Chelsea’s Top Ten Ways to Date Successfully

1. Be as Awkward as possible in all situations. Guys love that.

2. Spend your weekend nights getting drunk at home playing video games and watching Netflix. It is the best way to meet new people.

3.Download Tinder, swipe left on 90% of people, and do not respond to the ones that message you.

4.Meet a guy, sleep with him, fall madly in love because you cannot separate sex and feelings, but act like you have no feelings and only wanted a one night stand.

5.Go on dates with ex boyfriends, they’ve grown up. It was just silly it didn’t work the first time.

6.Fall in love with a guy that lives hours away, and that never has time to see you.

7.When a guy initiates conversation with you at the bar or buys you a drink, ignore him because the baseball game is on.

8.Spend all of your free time with your guy best friend because everyone will believe/understand that you are just friends.

9.Flirt and smile at the two guys you see every day at work, who are probably in to you too, but never make a move or talk to them long enough for them to make one.

10.Do not put any effort at all into dating.