cherasmus the wizard

wizard of gooning / hate my apprentice gurp / currently hangin out in the wastes of the forgotten souls / 2632 years young

[artsytoad]

Myles Pinkney, The Elder

www.artsytoad.tumblr.com

[wizard-of-the-northern-sea]

It is insane that I can easily find spells to turn people inside out or the summon the grand devourer of worlds but I can't find anything to make a tummy ache/headache go away!!!!

[thaparasite]

local wizard rolls the worst blunt on all of the 5 realms

Blasted into oblivion by the elders of the shadow wizard money gang.

[gavamont]

[gavamont]

@roboriders you’re so right and to celebrate that I have made a new version of these shorts:

[mug-of-beans]

“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”

No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.

[spell-of-the-day]

Spell of the day:

Flaming Termites

[the-wizards-blog]

Group projects are so ass. Who the hell names a spell “Tentacle Orb”??? Get creative. It should be Tentacular Sphere at LEAST

[shebobonmydylan]

Fattening myself up so an evil witch will lure me to her cabin and eat me

[the-real-wizard]

what does a wizard have to do to get a box dozen of cinnamon rolls and a hot witch

[wyrmoftheweb]

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

[cherasmusthewizard]

someone cursed my orb so now when i scry i can only see when liam neeson is taking a shit

[optera-the-foolish]

Who up wigglin they wand

[mirille]

Wizards transitioning to divination magic take Escrygen and Prognosterone

[truewizardfacts]

the problem with modern spell books is that every wizard and mage wants to add a story at the beginning so it seems like their spell has more depth and history behind it but in reality its mostly just the basic level 1 spell you get from the back of the cereal box

[coolwizard21]

while some ponder the orb 🔮... i ponder THESE BANDS 💸💸💸💸💸

[spatialapprentice]

Were going to smith you the finest cock in all dwarf city, said the dwarf

[cosgos]

I hate this fucking creature, but of course the mucus it secretes is a potent alchemical resource. “Gather 8 ounces of Moonshine Extract” says my spellbook. Well guess what? The frogs are tiny, gross, and have the consistency of water balloons.

I swear the second I finish this reagent my local apothecary is going to restock.