I just post sad stuff, sorry.

[cherrybomb-22]

You Broke Me, I Won’t Let You Do It Again

Just because he is my father by blood doesn't mean that's who I see him as.

He has wronged me too many times for me to see him as that. 

I won't slander his name just because of the things he has done to me. 

He did okay with my older brothers,

But with me is where he messed up.

I pray that my little brother doesn’t end up like me, 

No I’ll fight to make sure he doesn’t,

Our brothers and father won’t get the chance to traumatize him like they did me. 

They say older brothers are the ones who protect their little sister, 

But who protects her when they’re the ones doing the harm?

I had to go through so much by myself,

He shouldn't have to do the same.

You can't abandon someone while saying 'your my precious baby girl’,

Then have that only apply when it's convenient to you.

That's not parenting no matter how much you call it that. 

The same text night after night, word for word isn't enough effort to rebuild a relationship, 

Or regain the trust that you have torn down, built partly back up then smothered again and  again.

The wall’s I have up won’t crumble as easily as they have in the past.

Someone needs to be there for him and I intend to.

[cherrybomb-22]

You’ve put me through hell and drug me back out. The screaming, fighting, broken promises, and oh so many lies. You still want me to trust you though, to put my faith in you that you’ll do the right thing. I did try, to believe your words but like usual you had no actions to back it up.

Then he came back into your life.You let him back into your life knowing how much it would effect me, that’s I wouldn’t feel safe whenever I was out in public. That I wouldn’t ever come back to your house That’s I would stop responding to your messages, and would stop trying to build a one sided relationship. You knew all of that would happen but you still let him into your life and home.

Now I’m the one sitting here losing what little I had and watching the person who took everything from me replace me.

Do you really still have the guts to say you’re trying to build a relationship with me and that you want to be in my life after doing that? Well? Do you Father?

[cherrybomb-22]

[quotemadness]

“I had two longings and one was fighting the other. I wanted to be loved and I wanted to be always alone.”

— Jean Rhys

[cherrybomb-22]

I hope you're proud of the monster you made, Dad.

the trauma that will always be with me

[i-wrotethisforme]

I woke up to an “I miss you” text sent at 2:42

And I didn’t need to look up the number to know it was from you

But I know you haven’t seen the pictures I’ve posted since you blocked my page

And I haven’t run into any of your friends since late May

So what is it this time that made you miss me?

Was it my makeup remover under your sink

Or was it a stronger than usual drink

I always knew you’d realize once the appeal of being single faded

And you ran out of temporary distractions to play with

That something was missing from the life of your dreams

I just didn’t know what it’d take for you to realize it was me

So was it the ice cream I left in your freezer

My tee shirt I didn’t want to leave there

Or that one too many glass of tequila

[cherrybomb-22]

We looked into each others eyes with an expression to soft to be only friends

My mind after going to the Drive In. 

[cherrybomb-22]

Broken

B: Beaten down just to be turned into a weapon as a child. 

R: Roughly thrown into the harsh world and told to make it on your own.

O: Oh, you want to know love but you were raised without it in a world of chaos and war.

K: Kinn isn’t those who share your blood, you consider who is and isn’t family.

E: Empathy is for those who deserve it, not who demand it.

N: Nyctophilia to relax after stressful days.

this is a poem that I wrote for English last Friday. I wrote about how my trauma has broken and beaten me, and I was built up in my family image.

[cherrybomb-22]

It can be so draining being friends and having to socialize with bubbly people all the time. Like I get that you care but sometimes I just wanna wallow peacefully in my self pity. Just let me and my insomnia be depressed in peace please.

Insomniac brain 

[cherrybomb-22]

Just because he is my father by blood doesn't mean that's who I see him as. He has wronged me too many times for me to see him as that. I won't slander his name just because of the things he has done to me. He did okay with my brothers, but with me is where he messed up. You can't abandon someone while saying 'your my precious baby girl' and having that only apply when it's convenient to you. That's not parenting no matter how much you call it that. The same text night after night, word for word isn't enough effort to rebuild a relationship or regain the trust that you have torn down, built partly back up then smothered it.

The wall’s I have up won’t crumble as easy as they haven in the past.

[cherrybomb-22]

Some times it's better to ask your shadow to dance rather then trying to run from it. Since without shadows our brights moments would seem dull.

My lost Head

[cherrybomb-22]

oh, i bet you regret making an enemy out of me.

one back, two knifes

by Amanda Lovelace//The Princess Saves Herself in This One.

[cherrybomb-22]

I had a big smile on my face as I burned the bridges to all the things I could not repair.

does the smoke still choke you? 

Amanda Lovelace //The Princess Saves Herself in This One\\

[cherrybomb-22]

Why is it? that when I look at you my heart and my brain switch places and my stomach fills with butterflies 🦋

my love sick head

[cherrybomb-22]

You were made into a weapon as a child and were told to find peace as an adult.

My lost mind

[cherrybomb-22]

There's nothing wrong with you. Just the society we live in.

unknown

[chuckakot]

“Once you read my words, you are entering my life, you are entering the mouth of wild roses,”

— Chuck Akot, from Waterline and Other Poems, Rose selvatiche