um guys, I think we need to stop waiting for ‘the right time’ and just start doing the things we want whenever because the right time’s never gonna come, and if we keep waiting it’s just gonna turn into an endless cycle
shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over.
put on clean, comfortable clothes.
put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink.
blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.
make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.
A call from an unknown number leads to a deal with a vampire. How long can you drag out the bargain before you're his next victim? You were never meant to make it out of this alive.
tws: blood, violence, vomiting, light stalking, eventual smut
this is part 3 [<- previous chapter] [series masterlist]
You wake-up groggy, but glad to have slept a bit. Your head is pounding and your eyes are still swollen. So much for company preventing you from sobbing yourself to sleep. But with Tomura around, at least now you have a shoulder to cry on.
First things first, you pull out your phone to check the news. "Three politicians and five corporate executives found dead in their homes last night…" the article starts. You read through it, searching for their names. Information. Anything incriminating they may have been doing. When you look for more, everything you discover leads to more bribery and corruption. You couldn't have picked a less innocent group if you tried.
Tomura was right, you do feel a bit better. You continue reading, for your own sake.
"…no known cause of death, autopsies are currently being performed."
Good. You exhale a small part of a breath you've been holding for months now. They don't know who you are, at least not yet. No one even saw you. You'll be okay. It's easier to say that than to feel it. But for now, you have more pressing matters. Like buying groceries to eat and keep yourself alive a bit longer. That feels so mundane in the midst of it all, but you have to at some point. You glance through the refrigerator, starting to make a list but there's nothing there.
"Everything," you write, underlining the word. "Everything but oil," you add after checking the cabinet.
Pulling on a huge sweatshirt and some pants, you grab a few larger bills from your stash before making your way out the door. It's a nice day, temperate as summer begins to fade. You wonder if you'll see Tomura more often now that there's more time in the night.
Yesterday, after making sure you were okay to be alone, he mentioned coming back again tonight. You're happy to have him over, but you're still not sure why he's joining you. He doesn't need to feed for at least another week and a half so there's a lot of time for planning the next assassination before then. Maybe he just wants to check on you and make sure his meal provider isn't quitting. Or he has a more elaborate idea to discuss. Initially when you made the deal with him, you didn't realize he would help you with the research process too. It's been nice, easier. Something in the back of your head tells you that's not the real reason you're looking forward to seeing him tonight though. You try not to acknowledge it, that feeling won't lead to anything but unwarranted hope.
Shopping goes faster than expected. While finding what you need, it occurs to you — should you buy Tomura a gift in return for helping you so much? And if so, what do you even buy for a vampire? New socks? That's too boring, you decide.
Carrying on through the store, you grab the basics and check out. Even after the amount you ate last night, you're pretty hungry this morning. Given that you haven't been able to keep food down with the stress and horror of your life lately, you'll take any chance you get to eat when you're feeling up for it.
You have a larger than usual lunch, checking your phone constantly. After a solid hour of doom scrolling, you set a notification for news related to the teahouse incident. Some part of you feels reassured that they haven't connected it back to that, but you know it'll come up eventually. It's probably just not public yet.
Maybe Tomura's onto something with planning early, you don't know how much longer you have before this catches up to you.
You spend the rest of the day cleaning your apartment. It's a tiny studio so there's not much to do, but you need the distraction. The thoughts still creep in, but it's better than sitting still. By the time the sun goes down, you've just washed dishes after dinner and have nothing left to focus on. Pulling out your phone, you check if more information has been released on the case. Nothing more than this morning, but you skim back over it again in case you missed anything.
Half an hour later, the front door rings and you let Tomura in. As he walks through the door, he half smiles when he sees you. Your heart skips a beat. It's just because he's a vampire, you think to yourself, they're supposed to draw people in somehow. Or maybe it's because you're used to him looking a lot grouchier than that so smiling at you is new. Plus, no one has been happy to see you in ages. Whatever it is, you try not to think about it.
"So," you ask as he settles onto the futon next to you, "what are we planning today? Another politician or someone else?"
"Planning?" he asks, as if the idea hadn't occurred to him.
"Yeah, it's what you're here for, right?"
"No," Tomura scoffs. He shakes his head, sending even more messy white hair over his face. "I can't just come over to spend time with you?"
"Y—yeah," you say, confused. "I just thought — uhm, I didn't realize you wanted that."
He takes a deep breath, seemingly for show. "I obviously didn't make my intentions very clear before, so let's try again. I don't just want to feed from your kills now, I'm also trying to court you — er, date you? Whatever the colloquial term for it is. I want that."
"Oh," you're surprised, but you shouldn't be. Complimenting you. Bringing you gifts, of a sort. Buying you dinner. Holding your hand on the way home last night, long after he needed to. It makes sense. If this had been anyone but a vampire you've heard suck the life out of someone, maybe you would have noticed. The murder part had you distracted. It's not like you weren't committing similar acts of violence, but for that exact reason it never occurred to you to think about dating. To be honest, you never thought you'd have any romantic prospects with a life like this.
"How long have you been uh, trying that?" you ask, not knowing what else to say. Of all the reasons for him to come over, that was not one you expected. You can't say you hate it though.
"Hmmm," he considers while scratching the side of his neck. You wonder if vampires can get eczema or if you're just stuck with whatever ailed you in life. Maybe it's just a residual nervous habit. "I wanted to after the first night we met, after getting to talk to you for a while. But I knew I couldn't ask then. Even with what you're, um, doing — I know none of what I am is appealing. People want the idea of fluffy romance novel vampires, not the actual reality of this. So, I wanted you to get to know me a bit before so I brought it up so maybe you wouldn't leave. Which I believe is customary now before asking for something of that nature anyways."
"So, are you asking then?" He's said a lot of words that imply a lot of intent, but if he wants an answer from you he needs to actually ask. Maybe you would have made more assumptions when you were younger. Nothing about your life now allows for ambiguity.
"Well, I can't exactly force you to be my betroth — uh, partner er…dating friend?" He cringes at his own words, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. You watch calmly as he finds his words, cursing under his breath. "Will you date me?"
You consider for a moment. Is this how you'd like to spend the last few months of your life? For once, you feel like you have some choice. You definitely don't hate the idea. He's pretty, even for a vampire. Plus, in spite of his prickliness, he's made you feel more comfortable than you thought possible at this point in life. "Yeah," you reply, "but you know it won't last, right? There's no good ending for me in this. It’s either death or prison," your words shake, having never said them out loud. Tomura stares at you.
"You know I'd never let anyone take you to prison, right?" he says as reassuringly as he can. "And I'm definitely not about to let someone just show up and kill you. I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure you don't come to a miserable end."
The phrasing concerns you slightly. He said he'd never let anyone else kill you, not that he wouldn't himself. Still, his promise makes you feel a bit better. "Not a miserable end" is better than before. As soon as you relax a bit, he opens his mouth to speak again.
"I still don't really know what cultural norms are around all of this," Tomura reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers between yours. "I'm not stupid enough to think books about vampires falling in love are accurate portrayals of relationships."
"They're definitely not," you agree. "I don't think normal social formalities apply here though," you lean your head on his shoulder, breathing in the sweet scent of him. For seeming so dark, he always smells like sunshine. "Given the situation and our deal, I think anything normal went out the window before we even met."
This does feel normal though, to you at least. It shouldn't, but it's the most calm you've been all day.
"I'd ask if you wanted to watch a movie, but I don't have a TV. Or anything really."
"That's okay," his jaw rests on your forehead. "This is perfect. More than I expected."
The two of you sit in a comfortable silence. Being this close to him turns off most of the worries you've been running from all day. Still, there's a tiny voice in the back of your head that you can't ignore. One that makes too much sense to be reassured away: you're soon to be on the run from the law and now you're dating a vampire.
There's absolutely no way you're making it out of this alive, but at least now you know you won't suffer much.
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