Dark Shit is my guilty pleasure.

She/Her 22. Requests are closed Domestic Violence Resources Tag Me

[chilling-in-the-dark]

Master List

This means not written yet

DC

Series:

As Yanderes’ Universe

Monsters AU

One Shots/Headcanons:

Damian Wayne

The Demon and The Goddess

Dick Grayson:

Dick with a Hyperactive Darling Headcanons

Dick with a villain darling Headcanons

Terry McGinnis

Terry McGinnis with an Infertile Darling Headcanons

miscellaneous

Zuko (Avatar):

The Golden Cage: Completed

[shencomix]

[pavlover-boy]

has this one been done yet

[writing-prompt-s]

🙌

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Danny: So I may have did a bit of an oopsie daisy.

Jazz: … define a bit.

Danny: you know how you were telling me about the two main ways of conditioning?

Jazz: Yes?

Danny: And you remember how I said Pavlov’s dog sounded strangely familiar?

Jazz watching her brother pace: Danny?

Danny: Well, there’s this guy in my lit class who was very pretty and I heard he was vegan and you know that giant bag of vegan candy Sam sent?

Jazz: Please tell me you didn’t.

Danny: Not on purpose! You know how big that bag is! And I can’t just throw it way it’s good candy! So I just, kept giving him a couple pieces when I saw him! I didn’t even realize what I did until I passed him the hall and he nearly smiled at me and he never smiled!

Jazz: only you little brother.

Danny flopping on the floor dramatically: he just looked to the floor in confusion Jazz! Like visible confusion!

[sometimesthingsfallapart]

Plot twist during this time Damien has been purposefully using operant conditioning on danny to get him to idk do something. He is just using the same training tricks he uses with his pets

I just love the idea of Damien thinking he is the master mind and then realizing danny has been inadvertently training him as well

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Tim: So a little birdy told me you made a friend at school.

Damian: I have have done not such thing, but I assume you are speaking about Danny.

Tim: Wow, first name basis? You must really like him…

Damian: tch! Nonsense, I have been merely slowly conditioning him to let his guard down around me. Eventually I wish to gain access to his home to study his dog as it is an unusual color.

Tim: whatever you say brat, just don’t freeze up if you miscalculate or something.

Damian: like I would do such a thing.

———The next day at school———

Damian, mentally: Perhaps, this one time only, Drake may have been correct.

[catchymemes]

[mxargent]

Also I can make a less insanely boring persona for myself if i’m not stuck with my real name and identity

[teaboot]

Guys. Guys. Calculating tips. Just. Look at your bill. And move the decimal point one step left. That’s ten percent. Double that number. Now it’s twenty percent.

$100.00 bill? $10.000. Ten dollars. Double it. Twenty dollars. That’s a 20% tip.

$67.50? Now it’s $6.750. $6.75? Might as well be $7. Double it. Roughly $14. You’re not going to miss the change.

Please. I failed math three times

[tacomel420]

FLAWLESS

[isawyoufly]

FUCKING THANK YOU this is literally the ONLY math lesson my dad taught me and it wasn’t even for tipping but it’s so EASY

[kiatheinsomniac]

Ooh your requests are open! Please could you write Jacob Frye as a pirate and the F!Reader as the noble women he kidnaps for a ransom. But Jacob is really taken by her and they fall in love. I’m writing a story like this and I’d love to see another authors take on it.

Thank you!

I'd love to be tagged when you publish it and I love the art! I've kept the request short with a time skip so we get the sense of the before-and-after. Hope you enjoy!

You were attentive to every little noise and sensation around you with the cloth bag covering your head and obscuring all sense of vision. You swayed from side to side as you were dragged over floors that felt and sounded wooden under your feet. The air around you was salty and there were yells of men, scuffling about and the sloshing of water. You had undoubtedly been dragged out of that carriage after hours to be put on a ship.

Your wrists were bound in front of you and two sets of hands had a firm grip on each of your struggling arms. Suddenly, it grew much darker than before and the smell changed as the wind disappeared and the smell of salt gave way to tobacco. You figured that you had been taken into a cabin of sorts.

Suddenly, your eyes were scrunched to protect them from the intrusion of light that came with having the sack unceremoniously torn from over your head. Soon enough, you opened them and allowed your vision to adjust to the cabin around you. It was cluttered. Maps were upon all walls except the far one which was a long, leaded window. There was a main desk in the middle that was also covered in maps, small piles of coins, writing equipment, compases and sextants and the like. You spotted two chests to the left that were just about to spill over with gold and jewels and there was a four-poster bed in the near right corner that had one of the curtains drawn back to show the messy, unmade state that it was in.

Hands pushed down on your shoulders and forced you into a chair that creaked under the force of you being pushed into it. A new figure walked around you from the left and you glared at anyone in your sight. You were far from happy to be in such a position.

The man had cropped brown hair and a slight beard at the sides of his face. His jaw was strong, sharp and accented by a scar, as was one of his eyebrows. His eyes were dark but alight and he held a cigar between his fingers. His peasant shirt was green with a holster, void of a gun, strapped across his chest. A red sash was at his waist and he wore dark trousers with even darker boots that climbed up to his knee. He reached up to remove his tricorne hat and place it upon the desk as he sat on the cushioned seat on the opposing side from you. He lounged back and set his feet upon the corner of the desk, crossing his ankles.

“I suspect you’re wondering why you’re here?” He questioned.

“If Winston has slept with your wife, I’m sure he cares too little about his fiancée for him to come here so you can restore your honour or whatever.” You quipped and the man before he raised a brow, looking up to the two men who stood guard behind you.

“Fiery, this one.” He smiled, “I like it.” He looked back down to meet your eyes, “I have no wife for your fiancé to bed. But he has an outstanding debt to me and I’ve decided that I’ve been patient enough and some… interest is due.”

“Am I this ‘interest’ or a means of luring it out?”

“The latter.” He replied and you assumed that he always must have this laddish air around him. You could see why he was captain: he seemed very charismatic.

“You would have done better to kidnap his dog then.” You replied dryly and he tilted his head, bringing his feet down from the table to lean forwards, elbows propping him up.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean: he hates me almost as much as I hate him - I’ll emphasise almost. Our marriage is an arranged one so that his family can get some money and mine can get a title.” You paused for a moment, “If anything, I’m glad to be away from him. Had I been told that I wouldn’t have to see his face at all on this journey, I wouldn’t have struggled to get away so often.”

“So what you’re telling me is that he won’t come for you?”

“It’s likely that he won’t and if he does, it’ll be to kill me and blame it on you.”

“You really think he would kill you?!” The man exclaimed, jumping up from his seat.

“He’s already tried beating me, what difference does it make? Men like him are all the same, they want to ruin the women in their lives but will have them neither as they are nor as they make them.” You leaned back in the chair, looking down at your bound hands and wishing they were free as the rope was biting into your skin.

“So I’ve wasted my time?” He sighed his head falling down before looking up at you through his lashes as though he were wondering what to do with you now. You bit on your lip as you looked back down at your hands. Here you were with a group of people who were owed something by the person you hated the most and certainly weren’t afraid to fight dirty about it considering they had resorted to kidnapping his fiancée.

“There may be a way to take this debt for yourselves…” You suggested. “I know the routes that his merchant ships take, he works in silks, cotton and sugar mostly but he’s recently invested in some jewellers across London too…”

“Are you really willing to let his life sink under like that?”

“I’d say ‘eager’ is more suitable than willing. He’s a despicable man and I’d love nothing more than to watch his life fall out from under him.” You shrugged, “It’s less messier than feeding him an amanita mushroom soup anyway.”

The pirate’s brows furrowed as he looked over you: muddied pale blue dress with its white bows and ribbons talking so easily about plundering and murder.

“You don’t strike me as a killer.”

“The best of them hide in plain sight and cry the hardest at the funerals.” You tried to relax your jaw that had become tense from thinking so deeply about your hatred, “And the best liars always establish themselves as terrible ones.” You held your arms outwards. “Untie me, give me a place to stay and we have a deal.”

“I don’t like freeloaders, you’ll have to pull your weight, duchess.” You frowned at the use of your title, knowing he only used it to express that he thought you would be incapable.

“Then it seems this is a perfect deal.” You quipped back and he smiled a little at your determination before he flicked his wrist and a blade shot out from one of the bracers on his arm, slicing through the rope at your wrists.

》》》》》◆《《《《《

You hissed as the cotton met your open wound, the gash going from your right ribs down to your left hip. You were lucky that the sailor’s sword had not been a centimetre longer or else your guts would have been spilled all over that deck.

“Stop being a baby.” Jacob muttered, cleaning the wound.

“Says you, I nearly got kicked in the face once, getting that debris out of your leg.” You spat back, gritting your teeth to try and withstand the pain. You were laid across his bed that was no longer messy as you had taken to making it when the both of you got up in the morning.

“Ok, duchess, my apologies.” You narrowed your eyes at him, having learned from him that your stare intimidated him deeply. He only ever used your title to tease or annoy you: if anything it had become more of a pet name that only he ever used for you.

“I want a nap after this.” You sighed, putting the back of your hands across your eyes.

“Then I’ll leave you to it.” He spoke, knowing he needed to let you have your way for you to calm down a little.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’ll be joining me.” You heard him laugh lightly.

“Your wish is my command.”

“How ironic, captain.” You smiled before it quickly became a scowl, the fresh alcohol on your wound making it sting tenfold. “Has Evie sent any new letters?” You asked, knowing that your lover’s older twin had been keeping tabs on your ex-fiancée. The engagement hadn’t been officially called off but you had decided it for yourself the first time you had grabbed Jacob by the collar and pulled his lips down to yours for a searing kiss.

“Apparently he lost a load of money gambling recently. He must be getting desperate with how often his ships are getting attacked.” There was a pause as he reached for some bandages to dress your wound with. “Not that anyone will do anything about it because it strangely seems like he is the only merchant being seriously harmed by piracy. I wonder whatever could be the cause of that?” He laughed. You smiled at the little comment and felt him pull your shirt back down over your torso, climbing over you to lay beside you. You carefully turned on your side and buried your face in his chest, smelling tobacco, salt and gunpowder. His arm carefully wrapped around you and held your close, hand coming up to run through your hair.

You relaxed against his body with a sigh.

“I don’t thank you enough.” You murmured and he tilted his head down a little to try and get a look at you but your face remained buried against his tattooed chest.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to tend to your wounds before-”

“Not for that…'' You whispered, hands gripping his shirt as you tried to hold him impossibly closer, “For saving me, for bringing me here.” He let out a quick breath that you sensed would have been a laugh if he weren’t so confused.

“I do believe that I kidnapped you for random?” He spoke amusedly, “I didn’t expect to be thanked.”

“And I didn’t expect to be grateful for it but I’m finally free from that suffocating aristocratic world where I’m like an actress on a stage every second of my life.” You sighed, “Do this, do that, wear this, say that, no don’t say that, you can’t have an opinion, like this but not too much, that’s for men, don’t speak of that.” You mimicked, “I get to make my own choices here, live how I please.” You looked up at him slowly, hand coming up to caress his jaw, fingertips tracing over the little scars on his face. “So I thank you.” You shyly traced the shape of his cupid’s bow. “Thank you for bringing me here or else I would have been stuck being someone I’m not with someone I hate. Now I can be who I want with the love of my life and I’d never, ever, trade that for some stupid money or a make-believe title.” Jacob craned his neck towards yours and your lips met sweetly.

“And even despite my original intentions, I’m happy that we were brought together too.” Another kiss, followed by a hum, “But, even if you’ve been freed from your corseted dresses and boring parties…” There was that mischievous look, “You’ll always be my duchess.” You slapped his arm, trying to hide the smile.

“Don’t push your luck, Frye.” And soon enough he was cupping your cheeks in calloused hands to smother you in kisses.

[chilling-in-the-dark]

😍😍✨

[sighfineillcomeback]

I'm curious, how does everyone feel about reader having a backstory in x reader fics?

as long as it's relevant to the plot.

I don't think they should ever have a backstory

Im totally fine with it

I don't have strong feelings either way

Voting ended onMar 18, 2023

[berninisanders]

[thecraftybear]

Brutus committed to the bit 100%.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Brutus, buddy, this is absolutely hilarious, but I think I understand now why Dante put you in the lowest pit of hell.

[batman-heritageposts]

Round 3: Match 1

Jason Todd/Red Hood

Bruce Wayne/Batman

Voting ended onMar 3, 2023

[imaginepirates]

Every norribeth au ever is either "they lived happily ever after" or "she crushed his heart and soul", and that's good and all, but I propose a different route:

They're in Port Royal. They get married, like they're expected to. They're good friends. The marriage is just a cover, though, because they're both seeing other people (Lizzie with Will, James with Jack) and they cover for each other constantly because oh! The social taboos! The Governor's daughter and a blacksmith? Preposterous! The commodore and a goddamn pirate? Unthinkable!

They're a sassy pair of bitches and can act completely in love when the situation calls for it, but at the end of the day, they're having the last laugh and a fist-bump because they've damn well fooled society into thinking they're the perfect married couple.

[rebekahgaveup]

Getting rid of auxiliary ports was...

A good idea. Bluetooth is more convenient and technology should progress.

A bad idea. Why do I have to pay extra now for something that was included?

Voting ended onFeb 26, 2023

[rebekahgaveup]

Please reblog not for a bigger sample size but because I am trying to win an argument with a man thank you

[bisexualbaker]

If I ever buy wireless headphones (particularly earbuds), I will only have to glance in another direction after I set them down for them to effectively vanish forever. And that's not even getting into their 18 month life expectancy. Meanwhile, if I keep wired headphones, I need to keep track of a completely different, three inch wire converter to turn my charging port into an audio port. No thank you!

A built-in audio port was the first thing I looked for the last time I upgraded my phone, and I don't want to have another phone without one.

[vaspider]

Nah, they make plenty of USB-C wired headphones now. I have sleep headphones which I use to listen to my books when I'm going to bed which plug into my USB-C port.

[lurlur]

But then you can't charge your phone while you listen. Fall asleep listening to something? Dead phone.

[vaspider]

No? I fall asleep listening to Discworld audiobooks on my phone literally every night.

Turn off Bluetooth and other power-wasters, kill apps you're not using.

Charge your phone so you start the night at as close to 100% as possible.

Set a sleep timer on whatever you're listening to.

Of course you can also just:

put your phone on a wireless charger if you don't move around much at night (I don't). Even if you do move around in your sleep, putting it on a wireless charger is better than nothing.

Personally I would really prefer a set of BT sleep earbuds that don't die before the end of the night and which connect to my phone rather than playing only pre-programmed stuff*, and I'd prefer still having a headphone jack as a second choice, but it's totally not true that you can't listen to stuff to go to sleep without your phone dying. My phone is usually at like 20-30% when I wake up.

*no suggestions, I've done my research, and an item that meets my stated needs does not currently exist.

[jaycethepancake]

Yeah but starting your day with your phone battery so low isn't viable for a lot of people that work in the morning and such.

Also, if you want nicer, higher quality audio, you have to pay a lot of money for serviceable BT audio quality while there's real budget options for wired (and USB-C tend to be more expensive in general, I've not seen a real Hi-fi pair either).

[vaspider]

My USB-C sleep headphones were less than $15 and the sound quality is as good as my old Skull Candy ones, and I didn't say anything other than "my phone isn't dead when I wake up." I'm not sure why you're arguing points I didn't make. Yes, if you need to start the day with a full charge, that is not a solution for you.

🤷🏻‍♂️

[chilling-in-the-dark]

Different people need different things. It's actually cheaper for me to buy wireless headphones then wired. I break wired headphones at an alarming speed, because I entirely forgot I'm using them. My cheapish (for Bluetooth) fifty dollar earbuds last way longer so I'm not paying like 5 dollars a week for cheep earbuds.

5x52= 260. So even if I only get a year of use out of them (I would have gotten longer out of my last pair but my dog chewed on them) I'd saving be about 210 a year, and that's not even including taxes.

That being said we should still be able to keep ports because at least people should have the option of what they want to use.

[inkandmarblesoul]

If you could instantly learn three languages, what languages would you want to know?

[sar-soor]

when you re-read your fic and find a typo or inconsistency do you go back and edit it

yes i have to or it’ll drive me spare

yes but i’m normal about it

no fuck it we ball

no because i want it in its original form

other/just wanna click the button

Voting ended onMar 5, 2023

please rb for sample size i want to know i’m not alone

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

I can’t breathe

[brawltogethernow]

Best wishes to these people obviously but I’m WHEEZING at the concept of a standard horror plot starter but the stranded travelers are an entire fully equipped orchestra.

[gleefully-macabre]

It’s the prequel to every other horror film. Their haunting spirits play the background music.

[gleefully-macabre]

Oh shoot, that actually would be a really cool concept. The film starts with no thematic music, and as each member of the orchestra is picked off, their instrument joins the soundtrack. Subtly, so you don’t really notice, and the end credits are a full orchestral symphony.

[thestraggletag]

DUUUUUDE

[transmadotsuki]

Call that a death note

[moonybyte]

That entire thing could also be used brilliantly for foreshadowing!

Like, you suddenly notice a string instrument in the background music and you haven’t seen a few of them in a while. And the more musically versed you are, the more you figure it out (like in a mystery novel if you happen to have in-depth knowledge about the current riddle) while the “normal” people can get fooled into twists.

The non-musically versed audience hears a new brass instrument and is like “Oh shit, the dude with the tenor horn is probably dead!”, but then he suddenly appears perfectly fine and one minute later they find the body of the Euphonium player.

And if the orchestra members can hear it as well, then it’s of course another layer cause THEY would probably recognize who is playing. And depending on the director, they could go full ‘Tomato in the Mirror’ and imply they know but Just. Not. Say it. (cause why should they, they all DO KNOW). So they are like “Oh no…. No…!” and start looking for the corpse while the audience is still stuck at “Ok, a violin player, but which???”

[whetstonefires]

immediately after dying you get a brief solo

[blueshelledbastard]

And since absolutely no music at the beginning would be kinda estranging, I’d suggest one singular instrument and it’s revealed early on that a member of the orchestra recently passed, leading into the reason why they visited the castle in the first place, yaddayaddayadda, the plot commences

[coalmine301]

The first guy who died played the triangle

[spaceshipoftheseus]

It is absolutely essential to me that the orchestra remains Bolivian.

[funnytwittertweets]

[lekosis]

The dog has one of the Great Old Ones reassuring him with pats and treats tho. If the King in Yellow had played with u and fed u for ur entire life and let you sleep in his berth of unspeakable blackness at night, and then hugged you reassuringly when Cthulhu rose from the depths, you might be able to handle it better too

[pips-squeak]

what movie did you have on loop as a kid

ponyo (this is for me)

the lion king

aladdin

cars

a movie that was definitely too mature for you

star wars

any superhero movie

matilda

an old disney princess movie (snow white, cinderella, etc

something else (say in tags)

Voting ended onMar 4, 2023