Sindy's Chiropractic Journey @chirowellnesslove-blog - Tumblr Blog

8 years of university studies later, 4 months out from graduating, and I almost feel like I’ve lost touch with myself so much. It was so interesting, as I was getting acupuncture yesterday, and then a massage, that a part of me felt subconsciously guilty for treating my body and taking care of it. I guess as a health care practitioner you give, give, give, and then forget to take care of yourself, as if it feels selfish that you aren’t serving anyone apart from yourself. And then I remember, to be the best chiropractor I can be, I need to make sure my love tank is constantly full, so I can give to others.

It’s been one hell of a 2 years in clinic. The highs and lows felt in the past 2 years, are emotions I didn’t realise I could jump from so quickly. From feeling like my side postures suck, to getting all my adjustments on a patient in one day, to my mentors telling me to chill the f out and that I’m smashing it in clinic all in one day, has honestly made the past 2 years in my mind such a blur.

It’s so interesting reading back to my posts, because all of them, I write about how my negative thinking will eat me alive, and my perceptions on perfections will also create so much stress in my body. I was listening to a podcast the other day, talking about how to give less fucks, and it was interesting how they said that every fuck that we give, is just our fear of a social construct that we’ve built up in our mind. For example, no where in society tells us that we aren’t good enough, or that we can’t wear those jeans because they make you look phat. It’s the perceptions of ourselves that we’ve built in our own mind that have told us that we can’t do that. But it’s literally once you toss that fuck away, that it takes up less energy, and you can focus on other things that celebrate you on a day to day basis.

It’s interesting my perception on myself, that it always needs me to be constantly validated externally, and that’s something I’ve been consistently trying to work on this year. That when I work from my heart space, that everything is perfect, and that I’m doing my best. It’s only when I am thinking in my head, that I give a poor adjustment, it’s the critic, it’s the fear of failure, it’s the ego talking. You have to surrender the ego, go with the universe, and you will always deliver a damn beautiful adjustment, perfect for that patient’s energy and body.

There was a turning point this year, when I honestly would measure my self worth based on whether I get my side postures or not. And my body would become so tense, that it’s so hard for that patient’s energetic field to even communicate with mine, because mine was so shut off. One day, I got asked by my dean to create a health talk for patients in clinic, and then next to mentor some students the year below me. I took a step back, and was like WOW the fact that here I am thinking I suck, I suck, I suck, and then there’s mentors and deans watching me from afar, and asking me to mentor others, I am obviously doing something right. I am on the right path, and I am absolutely smashing it, and I just need to get out of my own head, and take everyone else off the pedestal. I think that belief came from when I was younger, being the youngest off my family, feeling like everyone was above me and feeling like an outsider.

I sprained my wrists the other day surfing, and it’s been such a mental battle, it’s stopped me from being able to do a bunch of things, and I’ve had to take 2 weeks off clinic. It’s so funny, because the universe has handed me this beautiful gift to heal, connect and just recuperate from the year. Yet, here I am panicking on how I’m going to get the patient numbers, retain from a patient drop off, and WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL THIS SPARE TIME?! fuck, now I have to hang out with myself… It’s funny how the human brain has to always be consciously thinking or complaining or being fearful of something. I know that my wrist injury has deeper emotions that go with it, my confusion on whether I am a manual adjuster or a tonal adjuster?! That omg what is wrong with me that I enjoy manual adjusting? That am I doing my patients a dis-service from manually adjusting them?

4 months to go, and I could just let go, enjoy the process and let it be. Life will sometimes throw your curveballs, but it’s all about the way you handle it. I think that everything is a blessing in disguise, and that if you can learn from it, then everything that happens in life is a gift to me. I am so excited to graduate, so excited to be serving people, to connect and allow others to express themselves the way they want to. I want to move to Melbourne next year, and the thought excites but also terrifies me.

And that is why I have been doing things out of my comfort zones this year… SKYDIVING! was amazing, going to Splore by myself, hitching a ride with a random to Splore lol, walking up to a guy sober and giving him my number, surfing despite my fear of big waves… bloody proud of myself. All these fears are just creations in your mind, and once you realise that you can literally FUCK FEAR, you set yourself free from the prison that you’ve kept yourself in your own mind. I am so excited to keep on setting my fears free, connecting to my heart space, and healing without fear.

Sindy xxx

Sitting where I am right now. In a house that makes me feel safe and free to be me, candle lit, with the flame flickering and city lights in the distant, my heart is whole. I am currently in every aspect, where I want to be. I financially support myself, I am studying and doing something that I FUCKING LOVE, I feel I have my life so together. Although day in, day out, not everything is perfect. But reflecting back to where I was 4 years ago. I have everything that I could ever ask for in life right now.

After I passed my entrance exams, I embarked over to Rarotonga. We checked and adjusted people for a week straight. I saw more people in the space of 5 days than the entirety of my CP1. A guy that couldn’t turn his head to the right with a lot of pain could turn his head again with not pain just after two adjustments that I gave him. How cool to be in this profession, that heals people, that makes people excited, and that I get to serve from my heart space and from my philosophy and take on life.

I think my biggest learning lessons right now are beliving that I am good enough to serve the public. I have always been a perfectionist and although that has allowed me to aim at high places, the idea of perfection will also make me always in the present, feel like I’m not good enough, and that I don’t accept my current skill as it is. I AM more than capable of serving the public. 70% of it, is showing up for my space, holding space for them, and allowing them to express their authentic self to me. I guess, it’s about stopping making it about me, freaking out about adjustments in my head before I perform them, and ask, “how can I serve you today?” Every adjustment is perfect for that person, at that moment. If I am always serving from my heart space, no adjustment can be a bad adjustment. It’s being in their space, and asking their body to show up what needs to be shown. To ask their body to guide me. HOW FREAKING COOL?! Can’t wait to keep on being authentically me, accepting where I am at, and grow, grow, grow.

Love and light,

Sindy xx

3rd year of my Chiropractic degree at NZCC. And last Friday was the day I found out that I officially became a Chiopractic intern for you school clinic. The most surreal feeling. How the past 4 years of my life was determined by that moment. How every bit of hard work I had put in made it all worth it. It started becoming quite frustrating, how this is my 7th year studying in a row and sometimes it feels like I’m a bit stagnant. As in, when do I finally get to be in the big, exciting world and grow up and experience things? Sometimes being a student makes me feel like I’m so stuck. But doing something like this makes it so worth it. Having gone to the seminars that I love this year, especially BGI, made it feel as if my heart found it’s home. That I didn’t realise that everyone could just find what they love and do it for the rest of your life. That I didn’t realise every fucking philosophy that I believe in, everything from the power of the universe, to the law of attraction, to how damn powerful and beautiful the human body is, can all be put together and made into one profession. The profession I am currently studying to do for the rest of my life.

How much greatness is in that? I think of 5 years ago, feeling like I could never be smart enough to study Chiropractic, how no way would I even get in. And then I defied all my fears, realised that those fears are just false pretenses and stories I have built in my head, and I said FUCK IT, and went for it. When you pour your heart and soul into something, there’s no fucking way the universe is going to stop you from getting there. When your whole heart and soul goes into doing what you love. There is only love that comes from that. I can’t wait to serve the world, I can’t wait to help people realise the potential of themselves, of how amazing they are, and how powerful their own human body is.

My biggest learning lesson is to stay true to myself. And to constantly refer back to my heart space than to be in my own head. i swear my own head will be the death of me. If I don’t sort it out, it’s going to create demons and poision that will continue growing off each other. I can sometimes get so into my own head that it’s hard to interpret reality from my own thoughts. I guess it comes down to gentle shift and reminders to come back into myself. To take away external sources and focus that concoction of force and love straight into myself. Let is explode from my heart all the way throughout my body and out into the world.

I can’t wait to serve the world.

Sindy xx

kushandwizdom

grayskymorning

lazyyogi

Without mud, you cannot have a lotus flower. Without suffering, you have no ways in order to learn how to be understanding and compassionate. Happiness is the lotus flower, and the suffering is the mud. So the practice is how to make use of the suffering, make use of the mud, to create the flower, the happiness, and this is possible.

Thich Nhat Hanh (via lazyyogi)

First year of Chiropractic school done and dusted. Where on Earth did the time go? It seemed like just the other day we were learning how to feel for a C2 SP, and suddenly last week I did my first adjustment in class (C4BL Crossed Pisi) in class. Not only have I learnt endless things for my education, I have also grown and learnt so many things about myself this year. I know that I have always taken things personally, and sometimes doubted my own knowledge, skills and self worth. The biggest thing chiro school has taught me this year, is to back yourself, 100% of the way, and to never take anything personally. When you change your perspective on how you take criticism, then you can actually turn it into a positive direction for self-growth and improving your skills and knowledge as a person. The school is hard on us for a reason, once we get out there in the big world, we can’t expect to not get battered and bruised as Chiropractors. To ensure that we’re going to be okay out in the big world by ourselves, we need to be so deep rooted and steady in our own two feet that nothing will knock us down. I don’t doubt anymore whether I’m in the right place. I am so where I should be. The thought of helping people, improving one’s health and wellbeing just lights up my soul. The conversations I have with others about spirituality, bettering yourself as a person, reprogramming your subconscious mind is like heroine to a drug addict. Find the things in life that light up your soul, and do those. Don’t ever let fear get in the way of what you want to achieve and accomplish in life.

I have let many self doubts and fear prevent me from living at my greatest potential this year. Thoughts such as not being smart enough to be at school, thoughts of not ever knowing enough, or people not liking me enough as a person were all mental distortions in my own mind and never actual reality. Once you get into a negative frame of mind, it’s just a downwards spiral from there. I swear, my negative thoughts could drive me into sickness. What I’ve learnt, is to back myself, every single day. To not let my self worth be determined by what happens externally of me, but to know I’m good enough, exactly on my own. Trusting the universe has been a big one for me too. That’s all you need to do, trust the universe, let go, and just ride with the waves. To stop trying to control everything.

Every little step of self growth makes me feel closer to me opening my own wellness centre. If I want to become the best practitioner out there, I need to be the best version of myself, and heal all those fears within me. To keep making connections with people, to keep conquering those fears, and do the things that light up my soul. I realised that when I continue to stay true to myself, I become unstoppable with whatever comes my way.

One of my teachers brought up something very important yesterday. She said that Chiropractic is all about creating connections with people. There are the greatest Chiropractors out there, but don’t do well in clinic due to their inability to connect. This again, validated that I’m at the right place. I find that making connections with others comes so naturally to me. To be able to make someone’s day a little better, to make them smile, is what sparks my soul. I just need to remember to keep doing me, and the next three years are going to be one hell of an amazing ride.

28/10/16 xxx

#nature #new zealand #auckland #travel #sea #seascape #hiking #beach

#acroyoga #yoga #yogaeverydamnday #yogalove #yogaeverywhere #adventure #wanderlust #exercise #nature

What a year it’s been. I finally got to the New Zealand College of Chiropractic and I think life this year has never been like any other. Conversations about the law of attraction, epigenetics, how your body heals itself, your mind body connection are what my heart beats for. Any deep conversations about ideas, authenticity, passions for life and travel are what lights up my eyes. And I finally arrived at a school full of like minded, passionate and kind hearted people. However, it hasn’t been as easy as I had imagined it to be.

It’s amazing how once you get used to something, it doesn’t become as exciting to you. The stress and expectations one carries on themselves takes away the love and passion they have for something. I remember the excitement I had when I found out Bruce Lipton was our Immunology lecturer, but as the first semester progressed, it started to become tedious, with our endless weekly quizes, and a million other assessments and practices we had to think about along the way.

I feel like I lose my passion and love in life when I get carried away with uni work and put the stress of the world on my shoulders. When I take in everyone’s energy and feel like I have to be there for others before I put myself first. I think that’s been one of my biggest lessons this year. To put myself first, and come within, before I prioritise anything else. I know I’m super sensitive to energy, but if I’m going to be the best Chiropractor I can be, I have to take care of myself first. Who else can you be, but your own best friend in this life time?

A few times this year I have questioned whether I should be here. 3 and a half years still seems like forever away. It feels like I’m kind of just hanging in mid- air sometimes. There are so many things I still want to do- Travel across the world to every corner of the Earth possible, train as a yoga teacher, get to know myself on the deepest level, read my endless list of books, run a half marathon, go sky diving etc. but sometimes it feels like the only thing I can focus on right now is to finish this degree. I know that I’m here and it feels right, and I think half the reason why sometimes I lose my passion for studying is the pressure I put on myself. My god, negative self talk and pressure I put on myself will eat me alive. The power of self talk basically dominates how you end up living your life, not even psychologically but also physiologically.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is to find the spark again in life. To remember how grateful I am, how beautiful life is, and my goal I have for 10 years time. To be kind to myself and back myself every step of the way. To feel so comfortable in my skin yet kick all my fears to the curb whilst I’m at it. To be open to others’ opinions, and to pick people’s brains as they pick mine. To continuously keep growing as a person and find the beauty in my daily life. To keep living and doing the things that light sparks in my heart.

“We’re meant to grow so we have something to give” -Tony Robbins.

07/08/16

#tonyrobbins #thoughts #chiropractic #journey #selfreflection #brucelipton #positivethinking #law of attraction