i love ms paint

he/him i draw with a mouse

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Maybe we saw the real shrimp colours this whole time.

[scooplery]

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

[evilscientist3]

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

[ttechniic]

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

[evilscientist3]

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

[ttechniic]

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

[evilscientist3]

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

[ttechniic]

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

[siderealglimmer]

[mclennonyaoi]

reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney

[mclennonyaoi]

Elon Musk Didn’t Want His Latest Deposition Released. Here It Is.

Musk is being sued for falsely suggesting a 22-year-old Jewish man was part of a neo-Nazi brawl.

Elon Musk Deposed In Lawsuit For Falsely Linking Jewish Man To Neo-Nazi Brawl

Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the

PLEASE read this

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

bankston is my HERO he’s tearing these people apart

[mclennonyaoi]

damn

[mclennonyaoi]

HE LEFT

[mclennonyaoi]

????

[mclennonyaoi]

oh my god

[mclennonyaoi]

KILL HIM

[mclennonyaoi]

he is DONE.

[mclennonyaoi]

HELP ME .

[mclennonyaoi]

wow. ok.

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks ben’s lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .

[mclennonyaoi]

doing a reread now this is so cunty

[mclennonyaoi]

goddamn .

[cryptotheism]

fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.

[ex-libris-craux]

how in the fuck did the muskrat's attorney pass the bar

[ruffboi-mags]

Mark Bankston is gonna make me fucking SWOON.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part

MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.

is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.

like, YOU CAN WATCH/LISTEN TO HIS DEPOS. HE DOES HAVE TO GIVE THOSE LECTURES EVERY TIME. IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.

[mephostophilis]

are non brits aware of count binface.

[mephostophilis]

to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.

[prokopetz]

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

[calloutnevvegas]

For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:

Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning

Don’t fuck with flamingos

[revretch]

….. Didn’t know most of that

[iamthekaijuking]

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

[revretch]

Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.

American flamingos just drink that shit

[bogleech]

(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.

When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.

It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:

[assuming-dinosaur]

Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.

[pangur-and-grim]

a fruit like a softened scythe shot its flavour into my mouth

[pangur-and-grim]

when I die. how about that

[pangur-and-grim]

[greseadraws]

dungeon meshi but they end up in the back rooms, a cursed idea that was eating away at my brain

[nitewrighter]

Peer-reviewing @monikoishi's tags because they're banger.

[coredrill]

“project hail mary (2026) using an orange-yellow-blue color palette in the majority of its lighting, set design, and wardrobe (except for the detour to the green planet with a purple aurora) is an intentional choice potentially based on the colors of the aroace (and aro and ace) flag(s) which may have been made in part because someone on the production staff realized that a story about a guy whose life is considered lesser explicitly because his relationships do not follow an amatonormative hierarchy, structured specifically to show that it is NOT romance which brings out the best in him but the love of/for a friend who similarly forgoes amatonormative expectations, and who is shown to be happy and fulfilled at the end for that very reason might be extremely resonant with aroaces” is a sentence which makes you sound like an insane person until you realize that project hail mary (2026) is a lord & miller production and those are the same guys who did this

[wiles-art-blog]

It's make a terrible comic day.

[strangerconnection]

you know, i don't remember

[strangerconnection]

you know, i don't remember

[strangerconnection]

you know, i don't remember

[kingfucko]

i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

People are like “these animals have exoskeletons and these ones have endoskeletons” but no. It’s all exoskeletons, your exoskeleton is protecting your bone marrow which is where your soul (which is you) is. The rest of the stuff is extraneous decoration that Big Pharma wants you to think is important/

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Why do you think there’s so few ghosts around? Why are most ghosts people who died violently? You gotta crack the bones to let the soul out. Most souls are trapped alone in the dark and silent ground (or teaching hospitals) for hundreds or thousands of years until the bones eventually start to break. People who are cremated get their whole soul released and it can reincarnate. But if someone dies violently then maybe only a couple of their bones are cracked and a little scrap of the soul escapes but it’s incomplete and confused. Can’t figure out how to leave, gets obsessed with its own circumstances, repeats actions, CANNOT be reasoned with. PROOF that the soul is in the marrow.

See I know what I’m talking about.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sin is stored in the teeth btw which is why young children are innocent (they’ll get a do-over with replacement teeth) and the elderly are shameless (once you have no teeth to remember your sins, you have nothing to fear).

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Upon review I think that maybe vodka isn’t for me.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#man this guy should write a book or something

Next treegrave universe book they’re all trapped on a spaceship and some dude fractures his arm and now the ship is Haunted

[brainstatic]

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

[stoned-dahmer-deactivated201802]

How disgusting can someone be

I wouldn’t even say this about my worst enemy

Forget the fact that its trump. If you agree with this youre fucking evil. Evil literally lives inside you. Wow.

[a-really-bad-decision]

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

Reblogging for last comment.

[eyesofatragedy67]

With the way this year is going, the sooner it happens the better.

[hazeldomain]

*this can be reblogged every year

[systlin]

I’m going to make cake. There’s going to be fireworks. There WILL be a burnt effigy.

[jackdaw-kraai]

Look, I’m gonna level with you americans for a second. When old wrinkly and orange kicks the bucket, for once in my life, possibly the only time, I’ll actually want to be able to see the fireworks from across the Atlantic. And I daresay I won’t be the only one. So listen to me and listen closely, cause I’ll only say it once: When the moldy Cheeto bites it, it’s the one and only chance you’ll likely have at being loudly, unbearably, obnoxiously American in your celebration and for once, the rest of the world won’t complain. 

[blondejaneblonde]

…I know I just reblogged this, but that last comment 👌👨🏻‍🍳

[finnglas]

Listen I’m already designing the cake I’m gonna order from Publix.

[caitlynlynch]

I want to see the fireworks from AUSTRALIA, guys. Make it happen.

[doubleca5t]

And brother there's no place like home