Chromadile

It doesn't mean anything, I just like colors and crocodiles.

[chromadile]

#I refuse to read anything on tumblr #that’s written like this, #what the fuck are you doing #you massive toolbox?

[zdarsky-deactivated20200105]

Huh! Who knew?

[chromadile]

Wild Speculation Update!

Update to “Let’s do some wild speculation!”

Diamonds - It’s now confirmed that diamonds are physically and mentally superior gems, with all of the strengths of other types but none of their inherent weaknesses. This fits with the Darwinian structure of gem society we’ve seen to date.

Rubies - Rubies are now confirmed to be their own type. They’re also confirmed to be a basic soldier-type gem, lower in rank and ability than quartzes, but seemingly much more numerous. Every Ruby gem may also be identical in form, though this is unconfirmed (owing to the storybook art-style of the episode).

Sapphires - Sapphires are now confirmed to be their own type. We have still only seen one Sapphire, so we’re unsure of the type’s general status in society. It may be that the one Sapphire we know held an unusual status, due to her ability to see the future.

Pearls - New info on Pearls: it appears that they are also used in secretarial roles within gem society, particularly by powerful gems. This jibes with their status as slaves/servants, and suggests that they are only owned by the very powerful and by gemworld institutions.

[dantevesalius]

@paulftompkins would have a wonderful van airbrush painting according to Spontaneanation 42. Sorry for the PFT fanart spam

[paulftompkins]

TREMENDOUS

[chromadile]

If you see this outside of Largo you KNOW there’s gonna be a tight show!

[chromadile]

Marvel C-Listers

(Here’s a thing I wrote last year.)

Darkhawk Secret Identity: Christopher Powell Debut: 1991 (Darkhawk #1) Last Seen: 2014 (Avengers Arena #16)

New York teenager Christopher Powell, the son of a corrupt police man, discovered a strange amulet in an abandoned amusement park. When he touched the amulet it switched Chris’ body with that of a super-powerful android capable of enhanced strength, speed, agility, reflexes and limited flight. So began the career of Darkhawk! The darkest of hawks!

Darkhawk’s solo series was considered fairly mediocre, and was cancelled after 50 issues. The character was moth-balled for quite a while, and most of his history undone, when he was reintroduced in 2009.

In his latest incarnation it was revealed that the Darkhawk body, which was never intended for use with human minds, had been drastically affecting Christopher’s brain and had given him full-blown delusions. It’s very likely that none of Darkhawk’s solo-series events actually happened. After a series of new adventures, during which Darkhawk finally learns the origin of his android body (it’s alien, and evil) Darkhawk regains control of his mind and settles back into a life of street-level patrolling.

Darkhawk was recently forced to participate in a gruesome battle royale with a dozen other teen heroes. Though he survived, Darkhawk’s current whereabouts are unknown.

Jocasta Secret Identity: None, she’s a robot-lady. Debut: 1977 (The Avengers #162) Last Seen: 2013 (Avengers Academy #34)

What do you get a homicidal robot who is functionally immortal, utterly mad, and determined to destroy the human race? Nothing. You are its enemy. But apparently it gets robo-horny, so it makes itself its own perfect mate… based on its creator’s wife… which can only be activated by the lifeforce of its creator’s wife… because the 70s.

That’s the rather underwhelming origin of Jocasta who, along with Vision, makes up the weird, Oedipal Ultron family. Ultron and Jocasta have mighty robo-minds based off the brainwaves of Hank “Ant-Man” Pym and Janet “The Wasp” Van Dyne, respectively. In Ultron’s case this lead to a robot that had all of its creator’s personality disorders and none of his redeeming humanity. In Jocasta’s case this lead to a weird, largely-inactive steel-variant of a fairly reasonable lady. Just hanging out, doing reasonable lady things.

Since then Jocasta has tended to be a dependable reserve member of the Avengers. She has a lot of history with Iron Man, as her AI was temporarily downloaded into Iron Man’s armor following the destruction of her body. While she was used briefly in the late 70s to explore the existential questions that come with the creation of a strong AI, overall Jocasta has always been more of a prop than a character.

Wonder Man Secret Identity: Simon Williams Debut: 1964 (Avengers #9) Last Seen: 2013 (Uncanny Avengers #5)

The ultimate sympathetic character, poor Simon Williams is the son of billionaire industrialist Sanford Williams. Upon dearest papa’s death Simon inherited the family munitions plant, but unfortunately the business soon failed due to that bohemian upstart, Tony Stark. Unsure of how to protect his lifestyle, Simon took the rather poor advice of his brother Eric and attempted to embezzle money from Williams Innovations, his company. Unfortunately he was caught, and worse yet, put in a commoner’s prison like some sort of ethnic!

Furious at the situation that cad Tony Stark had caused, Simon made a gentleman’s agreement with Baron Heinrich Zemo to infiltrate the Avengers and betray their trust at a critical moment. To assume the role of one of those super-people Simon was bombarded with ionic rays, which transformed him into a being of pure Ionic energy! Simon found himself endowed with the abilities of flight, enhanced strength, speed, stamina, reflexes, and invulnerability. Signing on with the Avengers as the wonderful Wonder Man, Simon fulfilled his agreement with Heinrich, but ultimately chose to help aid the Avengers in their time of need. Later Simon’s brother, unaware of Simon’s liberation and switch to superheroics, attacks the Avengers. Now a noble spirit, Simon fought off his brother and died in the process.

Then he came back over and over again, and now nobody knows what the hell is going on with him. I think he lives in Rogue’s brain.

Justice Secret Identity: Vance Astrovik Debut: 1975 (Giant-Size Defenders #5) Last Seen: 2014 (New Warriors #12)

Vance Astrovik was a man lost in time, an astronaut that was accidentally lost in space during an experimental space flight, cryogenically-frozen for 1,000 years. When he finally awoke he found the planet earth (and much of the galaxy) in dire circumstances. Drawing inspiration from another man lost in time, Captain America, Vance went on to found the Guardians of the Galaxy and fight for justice in the far-flung year of 2975!

Then he went back in time, told his teenage self not to be an astronaut, and now present-day Vance Astrovik is the unflavored rice-milk of superheroes.

A mutant with telekinetic powers and a troubled past, Vance had all the makings of a cool anti-hero, but instead put his powers to work as the mediocre Marvel Boy! Then later he changed his name and costume, calling himself Justice. That may be the most interesting thing he’s ever done.

Nowadays Justice has become something like a friendly camp counselor to young heroes. He’s conventionally handsome, utterly sexless, and possibly the least threatening person to ever kind-of sort-of be an Avenger. He’s often tapped to be the mentor to other, more interesting young heroes.

If ever there was a character who desperately needs to be rebooted it’s Justice.

Quasar Secret Identity: Wendell Vaughn Debut: 1978 (Captain America #217) Last Seen: 2011 (Annihilation: Earthfall #4)

Quasar began his career as a SHIELD trainee. Though very successful and rated as highly competent, the commanders at SHIELD chose not to use Vaughn as a field agent, believing he lacked the killer instinct necessary for a spy. Instead Vaughn was assigned as part of the security detail for a group of scientists researching an ancient alien artifact known as the Quantum Bands. After the science-terrorist group AIM attempted to take over the facility, Vaughn donned the Quantum Bands and valiantly fought them off, becoming one of the most successful members of the, “Oops, I touched it,” school of superhero origins.

The Quantum Bands grant Wendell Vaughn the ability to manipulate almost all forms of energy, particularly the almost limitless energy of a source called the Quantum Zone. In practice Wendell uses these powers to grant himself flight, heat/force blasts, and manipulates the energy to create durable energy constructs of any shape and size. There are very few forms of energy that the Bands cannot manipulate, the most common being magic.

Later, it was discovered that the Bands were actually created by Eon, a cosmic entity entrusted with the preservation of all life in the universe. The wielder of the Bands is supposed to be Eon’s herald, kind of like a good version of the Galactus/Silver Surfer dynamic. Armed with this new knowledge of his role in the cosmos, Wendell renamed himself Quasar, Protector of the Universe!

Then he died, came back, and now he continues his role as one of the primary guardians of the universal status quo… unless he’s forgotten about again, which happens a lot.

Dazzler Secret Identity: Alison Blaire Debut: 1980 (X-Men #130) Last Seen: 2014 (Uncanny X-Men #501)

The Jobriath of comics. Dazzler was originally a multimedia collaboration between Marvel and Casablanca Records, intended to be a smash-hit disco queen in the real world with an equally-hot comic book counterpart. Only that didn’t happen, because Dazzler debuted in 1980. All of the multimedia tie-ins that would have made Dazzler a sensation were dropped literally within the same calendar year of her debut, and Marvel was stuck with the remainder.

A mutant with the ability to transduce sound into light, Dazzler was born Alison Blaire, a middle-class kid with an overly-strict father in Long Island. In one of the least interesting origins in comics, Alison’s powers only manifested once as a kid, she developed fine control over them instantly, and her great emotional touchstone is refusing to go to law school.

After saying the comic book equivalent of, “Fuck you, dad!” Alison became New York’s hottest and most supervillain-encountering disco singer. Her solo-adventures tended to be variants on the same theme: Dazzler’s natural inclination toward being a disco goddess pisses off and/or intrigues a supervillain.

Dazzler comics were a veritable “Who’s That?” of the Marvel universe. Poor Alison only ever fought the lamest villains, with regulars like Techmaster and Tatterdemalion, while her disco singing career enjoyed a slow death over nearly 100 comics.

Recently Dazzler became a SHIELD agent for like 2 days, where she was promptly bonked on the head and replaced by the shape-shifting supervillain Mystique. She is currently an X-Man, part of Cyclops’ more hardline New Charles Xavier School.

[aaronmerrill]

You wanna kick Santa’s ass? Is that what I fucking heard over facetime? 

Paul F. Tompkins and Comedy Bang! Bang! are national treasures.

[paulftompkins]

Merry Christmas to ALL you Candy-Ass Motherfuckers.

Be sure to listen to both Episode 58 of With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus and the “A Christmas Treat” episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour today!

[chromadile]

Some numbers that make me feel better.

Fear of a Trump Presidency is media’s new favorite exploitable anxiety. They love to tout his poll numbers, to the abject horror of anyone who doesn’t want a yam that fell into a cotton candy machine as president.

While Trump is a real threat, here are some numbers that help put things in perspective:

As of 2014 the population of the United States is believed to be 318,900,000 people.

Of that number it is estimated that 218,959,000 of the population is at eligible to vote, or about 69% of the population.

There are roughly 146,311,000 registered voters in the US, or about 67% of those who are eligible to vote.

Of that number, only 23% self-identify as Republicans. That’s 33,651,530.

A lot of people identify as Independents when they register specifically to avoid spam, robocalls, and junk mail. However, this is unimportant, as only party-identified registered voters are invited to vote in a closed primary election.

Most primary elections are closed, and most others are semi-closed (meaning you have to be registered as a voter of the party, but you’re allowed to do so immediately before voting).

Trump is currently trying to win a series of primaries for the Republican presidential nomination.

Only about 56% of registered and self-identified Republican voters voted in the 2012 primaries. That’s 18,973,624 primary votes cast.

A similar voter turnout has been observed in the preceding 3 presidential closed primary elections.

Most polls put Donald Trump’s support between 34% & 40% of likely Republican primary voters.

What does this all mean?

Let’s split the difference and say Donald Trump is currently supported by 37% of likely Republican primary voters. That means that 37% of 56% of 23% of 67% of 69% of the US population currently plans to support Donald Trump’s presidential bid.

If you do the math that works out to a little over 7 million people, or roughly the population of Dallas, TX.

That’s not nothing, but it’s shamefully low for a national demagogue. I’ve seen 19 year olds on Twitter with twice as many followers.

I told you all of that to tell you this: When you just look at the poll numbers, watch his creepy little Nuremberg rallies, and only see the obscene amount of coverage you start to feel like you live in a country of monsters. You don’t. You live in a country of beaten-down people who are just trying to survive. Don’t let Trump and his odious little clutch of voters make you believe otherwise.

This info alone isn’t going to stop him. Awful people often skate into office due to voter apathy. So whatever you can do, please do it.

[chromadile]

Dicking out

Can we all just agree to a moratorium on webcomics about your glasses helping you see? Nobody has an interesting take on it, because they’re not an interesting thing to observe or consider.

They’re like comics about how food fills you up. Not about how food is delicious or beautiful or a joyous experience. Just the mundane fact of it making you less hungry. That’s glasses comics: perfunctory bits of nothing.

I know, journal comics are about celebrating the ordinary and putting stray observations on paper. However, if you’ve hit a level of mundanity where you think it’s a good idea to tell the world how “crazy” it is that your glasses instantly improve your vision (their point and purpose) then you’re not living a life that needs to be documented.

I’m not asking you to change. You don’t have to go on scary blind dates or travel across the globe for your thoughts to be valid... I’m just asking that you actually do something. Watch TV, hang out with a friend, hell, fucking sit in something. Those are all experiences that merit reactions. Your glasses making it easier to see is not.

[chromadile]

Great Question, Thank You

“Hey guys, I loved the movie! Question for Dean Hunter-LaRouche: Was there ever a little sexual tension on set?”

“Great question, thank you. The answer is yes. Everybody fucked everybody else, in every possible pairing and orientation, including orgies and gangbangs. That’s why Captain Tomorrow and the Justice Team took 9 years to film. It was awful. There are no longer clear psychological boundaries between the cast. See how Maurice and Cindy are both mouthing along to what I’m saying right now? We have all smelled things that cannot be unsmelled.”

“Hi everybody, the movie was amazing! Question for Etienne: There’s already talk of a sequel.”

“Amazing question! Thank you so much! We aren’t allowed to talk about that, and it’s super-early in the process, however... It’s common knowledge that we are not actors but a group of shanghai’d slaves who were dumped on an island in the Sargasso sea. There we formed a  society on the harsh island wasteland, and ate only fish & rats for 3 years. We were discovered by Disney studios during the filming of Pirates of the Carribean 5. Supposedly we get to go home once we’ve fulfilled our 8 picture contracts, so I think we’re all pulling for a sequel!”

“25%!”

“Yes, 25%! Thank you Liling.”

“Hi! My question is for Sandoval: Is the Clock Golem armor comfortable to wear?”

“Fantastic question! I love that you asked it and thank you for it! It could be a little uncomfortable. The first time I had to wear it I actually bled from all of my extremities at once. That’s why the promo photos of Clock Golem have so much blood on his hands and knees…”

*entire audience Ooohs at once*

“But we had a master prop builder on the set, Trey Arafat, and he was amazing at stopping the bleeding. He had it down to a science by the second week of filming. I did end up losing my genitalia during the roof scene, but that made for some interesting sexual slavery down the line. Sometimes I don’t know where I stop and Ron begins.”

*Ron waves to the crowd*

[chromadile]

When I was a kid I ran a horrible webcomic that I took offline after a couple of years out of sheer embarrassment. That was when there were like 100 webcomics, and I felt like I couldn’t cut it because my art was lackluster, my stories were lazy & perfunctory, and my humor was dot-connecting thoughtlessness.

Now there are probably close to 10,000 english language webcomics alone, and on the whole they are so fucking good it's actually kind of demoralizing. I mean, overall, hooray. Webcomics are why we’re enjoying this crazy animation renaissance right now. These kids create webcomics when they’re 16, spend their adolescences refining their technique, graduate art school with the skillset of veteran storyboard artists, then go on to create Steven Universe at, like, 24. Who could be mad at that? Still though... holy shit. How are all of you such competent artists so early on?

[chromadile]

Let’s do some wild speculation!

January 2016 Update! New info on Diamonds, Rubies, and Sapphires!

Peridot's an exposition machine! She's given us some great info on gems which, alongside some fan speculation, has lead me to create this list of known & possible gem types:

(warning, text wall)

Diamonds - Leaders. Why Diamonds are the leaders of the gems is unknown, but it may have something to do with rarity (only 1 diamond is confirmed to exist, but 3 others are suggested by the show) and/or overall strength (diamonds being one of the hardest minerals on earth). We have one shot of a known Diamond, Yellow Diamond, from the SU Extended Opening. She’s depicted as tall, possibly even taller than Jasper, but with a slender build.

Quartzes - Soldiers. Quartzes have been confirmed to be large and very physically-dominant gems, created primarily for combat. Jasper is considered a “successful” quartz on homeworld, and can therefore be assumed to exhibit traits and behaviors most in line with a modern quartz: aggressive, dominant, and enjoying elevated status in society. Amethyst is a flawed or defective quartz, but apparently only in appearance, as her physical capabilities are in line with a traditional quartz. Rose Quartz may be a quartz as well, but was known to exhibit significant abilities not shared by other quartzes, so her actual composition is in doubt.

Pearls - Slaves/Servants. Pearls are apparently one of the lowest rungs in gem society, supposedly created specifically for the pleasure and ownership of other gems. This casts the actual formation-process of Pearls in doubt, it’s possible that they are not grown in kindergartens alongside other gems, but rather engineered in a separate way. This status may correspond to pearls in the real world, which are not gemstones in the traditional sense, but rather crystallized calcium growths created in soft tissue. In spite of this, our one example of an extant Pearl is shown to be able to battle on par with other gems, and perform the same basic functions as a gem.

Speculated types of gems:

Olivines - Technicians and Engineers. Peridot is the only confirmed member of this type, and their societal placement is based entirely on her reporting. Short and lithe, physically weak but technologically-inclined. Olivines seem to occupy a more servile role in gem society than quartzes, but given their greater understanding and possible role in the development of gemtech they may still enjoy an elevated position.

Corundums - Place and prevalence unknown in gem society. Possible typical corundums include Ruby & Sapphire. In the real world corundums are known for their exceptional hardness, second only to diamonds on the Mohs hardness scale. This may be reflected in Ruby and Sapphire’s physical abilities, which are still superhuman (or supergem) in spite of their smaller stature. Based on Peridot’s reporting we can infer that corundums are below quartzes and (possibly) olivines in gem society. Their actual role in society is impossible to place, but given that the two corundums that we’ve seen have both displayed abilities beyond ordinary gems it may be that they traditionally serve as the gem-equivalent of seers or mystics.

Feldspathoids - Place and prevalence unknown in gem society. Lapis Lazuli is currently the only possible member of this gem type. In the real world lapis lazuli is actually a combination of several types of feldspathoids, primarily a mineral called lazurite. It holds a roughly medium score on the Mohs hardness scale.

What this suggests about the character Lapis Lazuli is very difficult to discern. Along with Ruby, Sapphire, and Rose Quartz Lapis is one of four single-gems to display an extra ability, in her case control over water, with one distinction: Lapis’s power is much wider in scope and finer in control. Given the nature of Lapis’ power, and its scope, I’d guess that Feldsparthoids were created for terraforming purposes. Her ability to move freely on homeworld suggests that Lapis enjoys a relatively elevated place in gem society as well, possibly outside the current power structure.

[rejectedprincesses]

Five animated shorts for five female animation pioneers

 For this year’s Annency animation festival, the students at Gobelins made five 1-minute animations to honor five female animation pioneers.

They’re all phenomenal. If you have five minutes, please watch each of them. Warning: some hit HARD.

Mary Blair (1911-1978)

Worked for Ub Iwerks, MGM, and eventually Disney. Known for creating incredibly vibrant watercolors, which clashed with the studio aesthetic at the time. Disney eventually let her loose, and her aesthetic can be strongly seen in Cinderella, Peter Pan, and especially Alice in Wonderland.

Evelyn Lambart (1914-1999)

Hearing-impaired Canadian animator who worked with Norman McLaren on several pieces that the Canadian government would later declare masterworks. She directed her own films, making her one of the first women in animation to take the director’s chair. She was known for scratching up film stock to create “jazz” like patterns, the sort of thing you’d later see in Fantasia, Donald in Mathmagic Land, and the like.

Lotte Reininger (1899-1981)

German director who created the technique of silhouette animation, preceding Disney by 10 years. Started out making titles for movies and moved on to make her own animated feature, The Adventures of Prince Achmed, in 1926! As for the rest of her career, well - watch the short.

Claire Parker (1906-1981)

Created the “pinscreen” animation technique, where 240,000 tiny metal rods were manually manipulated in and out of a board in order to create an animation – think tweaking pixels by hand. She and she alone owned the patent on it.

Alison de Vere (1927-2001)

One of the first women to work in British animation, and was design director for The Yellow Submarine. She went on to create many animated shorts at a commercial studio, winning prizes for virtually almost every single one of them. She is often credited as Britain’s first female animation auteur. 

(much credit must go to cartoonbrew for posting about this in the first place - thanks, y’all!)

[mattfractionblog]

studio note: how will we know he’s damaged

[chromadile]

Part 4: Some More Animated Movies Beyond Pixar

Part 1: Animation Beyond Pixar Part 2: 10 More Animated Movies Beyond Pixar Part 3: Another 10 Animated Movies Beyond Pixar

This one has been a long time coming! To review, these are lists of awesome animated movies that are not produced by major studios, namely Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, Studio Laika, or Studio Ghibli. I hope you find something cool!

The Suicide Shop (Le Magasin des Suicides, 2012)

Another strong entry into the world of Francophone animation! The Suicide Shop is like a less-ugly Tim Burton animated film, with morbid quirk oozing from every pore. The visuals are beautifully rendered, 2D animation enhanced by computer-supplied textures and lighting effects. I really can’t say enough good about the style of this movie. The story, on the other hand, is on the cloying side.

Tucked away in a dark Parisian alley lies The Suicide Shop, a gorgeous independent boutique specializing in every method of killing yourself. The perpetually-depressed members of the Tuvache family, 3rd generation proprietors of The Suicide Shop, help all manner of depressed and hopeless people stylishly end their lives… That is, until the birth of Monsieur and Madam’s third child, the relentlessly sunny and obnoxiously cheery Alan. The family business doesn’t agree with Alan, and he’s determined to shut it down.

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A Cat in Paris (Une vie de chat, 2010)

I loved this movie! It’s a charming and refreshingly Hitchcock-esque caper flick. Absolutely beautiful, retro, hand-drawn animation coupled with a story that’s at once familiar but very novel.

A young girl’s tomcat leads a double-life as the nightly companion to a master cat burglar. One evening the girl decides to follow her cat on his nightly outing, but in the process accidentally witnesses a violent criminal’s plans to rob a museum. The criminal catches her listening, and a mad chase across Paris ensues. Luckily the girl has the help her trusty tomcat and a new friend, the mysterious cat burglar Nico.

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Underdogs (Metegol, 2013)

This one was astoundingly hard to find until a few months ago, and I was chomping at the bit to see it. Metegol has an amazing pedigree, with basically all the top-tier Argentinian talent working on it and an association with several well-known French/Belgian animation studios (always a great sign). And it did not disappoint! It’s an adventurous family comedy in the vein of Toy Story. It’s not the most daring of stories, but the animation, direction, and voice-acting are practically unassailable.

Amadeo is a shy, inarticulate boy who spends his days playing foosball at the local pub. His dreary life finally starts looking up after he beats the town bully in a game and makes friends with the girl of his dreams, except… he doesn’t really do anything else. After nearly a decade Amadeo’s life is almost exactly the same, and he’s happy with it, until the town bully returns as one of the most celebrated and talented professional soccer players in the world. The bully is obsessed with his one loss at the hands of Amadeo, and buys the entire town to strong-arm Amadeo into a rematch. Luckily Amadeo has help from an unlikely source, the old lead players from his foosball table have decided to pitch in.

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When the Wind Blows (1986)

(psst… you can watch this movie for free on youtube)

British animation in the 70s was incredibly bleak and unsettling. Apparently the bleakness stayed intact straight through the 80s as well, and only started to abate at the end of the cold war. That’s not to say that When the Wind Blows is unbearably bleak. It manages to be a little charming, a little funny, and impossibly depressing all at the same time. It’s a fascinating mindset to visit, and a beautifully-executed film, but nobody would blame you for only watching once.

James and Hilda Bloggs are an amiable, retired married couple living in the British countryside. As news of an impending war with the USSR filters into their tiny cottage James becomes obsessed with fortifying his home and creating a bomb shelter, using the latest government-provided pamphlets to ready for a nuclear fallout. Unfortunately both James and Hilda are a bit on the naive side, and constantly misread, misremember, and forget the already-suspect advice in their pamphlets.

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Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)

It’s nuts that I haven’t done a DC movie yet! DC Comics has, for the better part of 2 decades, absolutely dominated its rivals in animation. For this installment I’ll focus on an earlier movie, back when all DC animation fell under the DC Animated Universe heading.

The DC Animated Universe is a distinct corner of DC animation, describing a shared continuity in which all DC cartoons took place for roughly 14 years (1992 to 2006-ish). Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, was actually the first feature-length movie released under the DC Animated Universe banner, and it’s amazing.

A mysterious new vigilante, the Phantasm, begins hunting Gotham City’s crime bosses. However, unlike Batman, the Phantasm has no qualms with murdering criminals, and slaughters many of Gotham’s mafioso during a conference. One of the survivors fingers Batman as the culprit to the police, forcing Batman underground in order to capture the Phantasm.

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Felidae (1994)

(psst… you can watch this movie for free on youtube)

Neo-noir is a genre that can be hard to swallow. With traditional film noir you have the benefit of watching an anachronism, seeing a story play out in a different era can act as a comforting barrier. With neo-noir everything is updated, and so becomes unsettlingly realistic. It can be an intense experience. A few times, while watching Felidae, I had a very unpleasant tingling sensation around my neck from seeing so many slit throats. That said, it’s a fantastic mystery… starring cats.

On his first day in his new house Francis the tuxedo cat stumbles across a mutilated cat body. Disgusted and intrigued, the young cat seeks answers in the disturbing underbelly of his new neighborhood.

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Minuscule: Valley of the Lost Ants (Minuscule - La Vallée des Fourmis Perdues, 2013)

Based on the French/Belgian TV series of the (almost) same name, Minuscule is a masterclass in visual storytelling. By far the most striking thing about it: Minuscule manages to seemlessly combine live action footage with 3D character animation. Traditionally that semi-rotoscoping technique has been a gamble for cartoons, usually failing to come together. Minuscule not only pulls it off, it seems to capitalize on it! Because the backgrounds and settings are largely natural, the team behind Minuscule was able to focus on character animation, turning in some surprisingly individualistic designs and much more facile acting (in the best sense of the word).

Minuscule is a stunning visual treat, possibly the most gorgeous movie on this list. It also happens to have a very charming, well-paced story.

A young ladybug is separated from its parents and stumbles into the care of a group of black garden ants. While helping the ants retrieve a massive haul of sugar the ladybug accidentally crosses paths with a similar band of fire ants, leading to a chase across the forest.

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Fantastic Planet (La planète sauvage, 1973)

This movie is probably on every animation hipster’s list, where it’s been embraced for being weird and hard to understand. That said, give it a chance and you’ll find that it’s a genuinely beautiful, haunting, and surreal! Fantastic Planet also has the distinction of pioneering a lot of the style and tone that has come to define French sci-fi. It often tacks closer to fantasy than the kind of grimy-mech future envisioned by most western science fiction.

Fantastic Planet is set on a faraway planet, one so alien that it has almost nothing in common with earth. It’s unclear how humans came to reside on this planet, but since their arrival they have reverted into primitive tribal cultures. Though they retain some sparks of intelligence, humanity is treated like pests by the planet’s native inhabitants: the massive Draags, humanoid aliens roughly 100x the size of an adult human.

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Wrinkles (Arrugas, 2011)

Wrinkles is beautiful and heartbreaking. Any movie that prompts you to examine your own mortality, and shows the depths of senility awaiting all of us at the end of our lives, is bound to be so. Beautiful-yet-simple animation, crackerjack voice-acting, and a few very imaginative sequences do a lot to soften the slow, creeping tragedy of Wrinkles, but it’s still very much there.

Emilio, the newest resident of a retirement home, finds an unlikely friend in his new roommate, a petty-thief named Miguel.

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REDLINE (2009)

REDLINE is an absolutely jaw-dropping movie, full of pure exhilaration and unabashed exploitation. Inky, grotesque sexiness oozes out of every frame. Between those gorgeous visuals and the white-knuckle action sequences you won’t even have time to notice that REDLINE barely has a story. That’s not a bad thing either, REDLINE isn’t trying to comment on the human condition, or make you think about your place in the world. It’s Fast & Furious’ Japanese sci-fi cousin and Death Race 2000’s unhinged grandson, and it’s a movie experience everyone should have.

The REDLINE is the most beloved institution in the galaxy, a once-every-5-years race in which there are no rules and drivers compete with absurd, over-the-top customized vehicles on exotic worlds.

[josephscrimshaw]

It’s important to realize Skeletor is THINKING of Underoos of himself.

[wannabeanimator]

Have a happy new year! There were many ups and downs in 2014 (a lot of downs), so let’s hope for better outcomes in 2015.

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Here’s where to get your Colbert-fix until the premiere of the new Late Show in 2015.

Hey! I wrote a quick rundown of Stephen Colbert's pre-Colbert Report roles, in case anybody needs a fix before his new show debuts:

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Exit 57 (1995-1996)

Exit 57 was weird. Willfully weird. It was basically Comedy Central’s attempt to make their own version of The State, MTV’s surprise-hit sketch show that had debuted two years earlier. Unfortunately Comedy Central was still an obscure channel at the time, and its loyal following of nerds (who mostly showed up for MST3k) had little love for the often intentionally abstruse Exit 57.

Colbert was featured heavily in the show in a variety of roles. It’s fun to see a young Colbert, and there’s some good stuff in there, but on the whole nobody would blame you for skipping Exit 57.

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The Dana Carvey Show (1996)

Almost immediately after Exit 57’s unceremonious cancellation Colbert jumped onto the Dana Carvey Show. Though it only lasted one season (largely due to Carvey’s then-mounting health problems), it’s remembered as one of the sharpest sketch comedies of its era. Apart from Colbert it also introduced Steve Carrell, Louis CK, and Robert Smigel.

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Strangers with Candy (1999-2000)

Though it overlapped with The Daily Show, many consider Strangers with Candy to be Colbert’s first real breakout role as a comedic actor. He played Chuck Noblet, Flatpoint Highschool’s bitter, clearly unqualified, also clearly closeted history teacher. Noblet’s bizarre rivalry with lead character Jeri Blank lead to some of the most ridiculous moments of the series.

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Saturday TV Funhouse (1996-2011)

Remember those little animated shorts that used to be on SNL in the 90s? Did you know Colbert did voices for those? He did! Colbert is friends with Robert Smigel, creator of the shorts (and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog), and was featured prominently as Ace, the top half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo. He also frequently played the duo’s archnemesis, Dr. Braino.

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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law (2001-2007)

Haha! Dangly parts.

HB:AAL was takeoff on one of Hanna-Barbera’s classic, unsuccessful 60s superhero properties, in the same vein as Sealab 2021 and The Brak Show. Colbert played Harvey Birdman’s inappropriate and superhumanly cavalier boss, Phil Ken Sebben (a name crudely adapted from the original cartoon character’s codename: Falcon 7).