Chronic Pain/illness Things

Side blog for dumping random thoughts about my pain and illnesses and potentially spread awareness if anyone is interested in that

[chronic--experiences]

Welcome to my anonymous blog for ranting about my illnesses and pain and (hopefully) spreading some awareness about living with chronic pain

he/him 21

LGBTQ friendly page 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I’ve had bone/joint pain for six years and stomach pain for five, and I have been diagnosed with juvenile disc disorder, scoliosis, sciatica, severe spinal stenosis from epidural lipomatosis, Hashimoto’s, and fibromyalgia. I’m being treated for IBS with GERD, visceral hypersensitivity syndrome, and severe nausea. There’s also the vertigo and imbalance which is manageable as long as I take my meds.

I’m not claiming to diagnosis myself with anything that doctors have not diagnosed me with even though there are things that I think doctors haven’t caught yet and/or aren’t listening to me about the severity (see joint pain) so take a lot of my experiences as someone experiencing just general chronic pain rather than focusing on any one condition.

If anyone ever wants to talk my DMs are open. Ableists DNI

[chronic--experiences]

“No pain no gain”

Well I’m in a lot of pain and I’m not gaining anything except new chronic diagnoses sooooooo

[chronic--experiences]

Chronic pain vent:

We’re approaching my favorite time of the year and I’m reminded on how much I’m missing out on because of my pain. I adore hiking, especially during the colder months, and it’s absolutely beautiful outside right now. Yet I can barely walk through a grocery store, let alone a hiking trail right now.

When I first started using my cane I thought it would only be for a few weeks, and here we are, months later. Things just seem to be getting worse and I miss doing the things I used to love doing.

My friend joked that she’d get me a wheelchair and she’d push me around the hiking trails, but honestly that’s a worry of mine. I barely wanted to start using a cane out of fear that it would mean that I was somehow accepting my disabled identity.

I’m not ashamed of being disabled by any means, but at the same time it’s a hard label to accept. I don’t want to think about how I might not be able to do these things anymore. I don’t know if that makes any sense. Wheelchairs and canes are for people who struggle to walk, and I don’t want that to be be (even though it already is.) I keep waiting for a miracle, hoping that each treatment my doctor tries will magically give me my old life back.

Anyway… I miss hiking. Thats really the gist of it.

[chronic--experiences]

Vent Post

CW: Mentions of homophobia

Using this account to vent because I don’t know anyone irl who follows this account + it was basically created for me to vent about my physical health issues so why not use it to also just complain about something else for a hot second?

Biggest thing right now is how my family has been treating me and my “more than friend.” We’ve been friends for two years and now we’re something more but we don’t want to label it. It’s a pretty recent thing but so far my mother has been vaguely unsupportive, one of my older sisters complained about us “making noise” and when I told her we were both asleep at the time she claimed she heard noise she was basically just like “whatever I’ll take that as an apology, just stay quiet when you’re doing that stuff” (we were not having sex. we were asleep. we had not had sex that day. what she heard was my parents coming home from vacation but she decided to blame us instead.) It wasn’t in a joking matter either. This is the same sister who has been mad at me since Easter because I’ve been missing family events because of my physical health complications.

It’s my youngest sisters birthday today so we’re going out to dinner so I asked my mom before I asked my sister if my friend/something more could come to dinner with us and she said that my sister only wanted family. Cool, that’s fine, I get it. Then I find out that ALL of my other three sisters are bringing their significant other to dinner. I was the only one who was told they couldn’t bring theirs (again we’re not official or anything, but my mother knows we’re more than friends and this feels obviously targeted. My mother is openly supportive of me being queer but she has also found a way to hate every single partner I bring home for some reason or another. I don’t want to outright say that it’s homophobia or anything but it’s beginning to piss me the hell off, especially because she’s so blatantly welcoming of the boys my sisters all bring home.)

That’s my little vent I guess. On a positive and blog-appropriate note, I had a sacroiliac joint injection a week ago and it’s actually helping a bit :)

TLDR: My family is shunning my friend now that we’re more than friends and it’s pissing me off.

[nondivisable]

"everyone should care about accessibility because most people will become disabled at some point in their life" is a logical argument and I understand its popularity

however, everyone should care about accessibility because disabled people are fellow human beings living in the same society as you who deserve the same rights as you

thank you good night

[lupusbaby]

Some people don’t want to hear this but sometimes accessibility is not sustainable or eco-friendly. Disabled people sometimes need straws, or pre-made meals in plastic containers, or single-use items. Just because you can work with your foods in their least processed and packaged form doesn’t mean everyone else can.

[bee-fox]

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.

[i-say-stupid-things]

what is it with able bodied people saying “get well soon” after you say that you’re chronically ill?? like? i am not gonna? and i once literally responded with “i’m not gonna, it’s chronic, as in permanent.” and they went like “oh well, hope you get better!” like bro 💀

[livthesleepdeprived]

quick reminder that my own gay ass genuinely supports the hell outta each and every one of you. regardless if i know you or not, im happy to be living in this shithole of a life in the same world with you.

and im proud of you, i know in my heart just how beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, and worthy you are and i hope you can see that too🏳️‍🌈🌈

[disabled-bug]

I’m so proud of people living with chronic health conditions. That shit is HARD. Idk who needs to hear this, but if no one else has said it: I’m proud of you. You’re sticking it out through so much pain and grief. That’s no small feat.

Every small thing you do for yourself health adds up. The grief is heavy and it comes from a place of love. The grief knows the pain is wronging you.

I’m proud of you. I hope on the good days you can be proud of yourself.

Keep going.

[vizthedatum]

An apparently unpopular opinion: disabled people can have and do their hobbies. They deserve to have fun. They deserve to live their lives.

Their inability to do some things (like work, for example) does not mean they should be judged for… idk hanging out with their friends or to going outside. After all, having interests outside of work is often essential to our mental and physical health OUTSIDE of our disability.

And also *you might want to sit down for this* disabled people know what’s disabling for them (unless they people-please or push through due to necessity or survival of some sort). Disabilities don’t have to be visible or persistent to be disabling.

So yeah - my declaration: if an activity you want to do feels good and you’re able to do it, then do it. REGARDLESS OF YOUR DISABILITY WITH OTHER THINGS.

[chronic--experiences]

Small win but I walked around my block this morning and lifted weights for ten minutes. It’s not a lot, especially considering I used to walk 5+ miles a day and lift weights for hours, but I’m working on not holding my current body up to the expectations of my past self.

I don’t know if my body will ever get to be at a place where I can do what I used to, and I’m trying to be okay with that. A win is a win.

[hiemalice]

i think every physically disabled person should get 200 dollar whenever someone suggests exercising more btw

[chronic--experiences]

“Are you feeling better yet?”

that’s actually!!!!!!!! not how any of this works!!!!!!!!

[pleastrop]

me: I'm done grieving, I already accepted my illness and all it brings with it, it's totally ok

also me on a random tuesday: my life is never going back to what it was, I'm never going to be able to do the things I loved the most the same, it's over and I gotta learn to live with that but it's kinda impossible because I'm so young and I had so many dreams and so many things I wanted to do that I can't anymore, at least not without all this pain and suffering

[chronic--experiences]

They should invent a type of body that doesn’t hurt

[chronicpaingirlie]

having chronic fatigue is like wow im so excited to wake up at 7 and nap at 10 and start my day at 2 :)