Chubby Panda

This is my journey to a healthier life. SW: A lot GW: A lot less

[chubby-panda85]

2020 Mindset Goal

One thing I am starting to become more aware of is my current mindset, how that can effect my outlook on life and what steps I need to start taking to get myself balanced. When I look back at my life I think about how confident I used to be, how much I admired myself and how everyone who met me should be thankful to have encountered me. Guess what though. My whole life has just been one big smoke and mirrors show and my residency performing this show day after day, night after night for lovers, family and so called friends has finally ran its course.

Over the last, I would say maybe 5 years or so, I have been feeling the ‘ smoke and mirrors ‘ routine becoming almost too much to handle at times. Whether it was becoming too much to carry on with or whether I just got sick and tired of it all in the end, I don’t yet know. All I do know is that I have to start finding a way to move the show out of town and start being my true self and loving me in every phase of my life from here on out.

(Also, what is this Vegas show example I’m using?!?)

Mentally I have always criticized myself for every detail of my body, voice, hair and every other thing that makes up my being and that has to STOP. Which brings me back to my Mindfulness in 2020.

As I was sitting at work today I was thinking, what’s the point? Why does any of this health and fitness garbage matter? I’ve always been a failure and I will continue to be one when it comes to this category. Then I stopped and was like, wow. With that kind of thought process, how do I ever expect to do, see, be or accomplish anything in this short life span?

I won’t. Not with that mindset.

That’s why I just have to take everything day by day and just let it all fall into place. I went home from work last night knowing that we were ordering food today for our end of the ramp season gathering with my fellow supervisors and I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay. This food I will be having isn’t my whole day, week or month. Its just lunch and dinner will be right back on track later on.

That’s all I need to focus on is right now, today in this moment. Everything beyond this moment is it’s own event. It’s own failure. It’s own accomplishment.

I can worry about all the other stuff when that time/day comes.

Stay sweet, y’all <3

[chubby-panda85]

Come on Over

To @tattooedgumdrop so I can finally have my primary as a fitblr 💜

[chubby-panda85]

Goals

I’ve been making a bucket list on my phone for the last few months and so far it all seems very obtainable.

One of my newer add ons is to skate on the canals in Ottawa. I saw it on the news the other morning and told the Mister that it was now my main goal to hit by next year. I want to get into better shape and then learn to skate well enough that he and I can go for a little weekend trip.

Maybe we can even get @mystoryfortheaudienceoftheworld and Hayden to come too <3 

[thepersonalquotes]

[chubby-panda85]

Amen.

[chubby-panda85]

Every day.

Never let a moment pass you by, no matter how big or small. Laugh as much as possible and if you feel like saying ‘ I love you ‘ to your partner 100x in a day, then do that. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself and making sure your feelings are known. We are not promised another second longer than the one we are living in now and someday you won't be able to tell the ones you love how you feel. So say it now. While it matters. Don't wait.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[thepersonalquotes]

[chubby-panda85]

Halloween 2018 at work :) 

And yes, Lane has the matching Jack <3

[chubby-panda85]

2019 has to be a good year. 

I feel like every year we say, This is the year! But really, this IS the year. I am so done living my life in sadness bc I can't escape my own thoughts. This year, I’m taking my life back!

Come along with me!

[chubby-panda85]

Y’all. 2019 Is Here!

.. and I am already off to a good start. I have a new doctor, new lifestyle plan and some new motivations to push me through.

Things haven't went quite the way I wanted them to but I feel like now I have to get myself motivated to do the right things. I can't spend every day of my life hating myself and letting my depression rule my life.

I don't post here much anymore but I am hoping that with the recent changes, I’ll make my way back over here bc to be honest, I miss the shit out of this place and using it for my own mental help escape!

Here we go!

[gottastartover-deactivated20200]

and occasionally cookies 😁

[chubby-panda85]

This week saw me gaining 2 lbs and I haven’t been taking it very well. I’ve basically spent the last two days sulking about it and internally scolding myself for not stopping my coffee drinking like I should have. However, I’m lucky enough to be married to the best human that this world can provide and I’m feeling better. He reminded me that we haven’t been going to the gym (I just can’t motivate in this arctic weather). I also haven’t stopped my sugar intake like I keep saying I will and I had a rough week with my lady time so, whatever. Looking forward into next week I am switching from Weight Watchers back to My Fitness Pal to see how many calories I’ve been getting over the last 3 weeks. The hubby is going to do the WW so we can figure it out :) He really is the best ❤️ Here’s to a hopeful adventure into next week!

[chubby-panda85]

I have been LOVING the new meals we have been making! We have been trying to keep it all business during the week and then treat ourselves a little on the weekend. I’ve never had someone do this with me, and he doesn’t even need to be doing it lol I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us and who knows.. maybe soon we will meet up with @mystoryfortheaudienceoftheworld and @hrstories1234 again soon too! ❤️

[thepersonalquotes]

http://www.personal-quotes.com

[the-undelicate-butterfly-deacti]

REBLOG IF YOU ARE A SAFEHOUSE BLOG AND NEVER SENT ANON HATE OR ANY HATE FOR THAT MATTER

[chubby-panda85]

[chubby-panda85]

Here they are. My goals for the month of March. I think that starting with these 3 goals will be a good way to get myself into a routine again. For the “ Learn something new “ I am hoping to keep working on my French with the Duolingo app. So, wish me luck!