Bookshelf Notes

[2manythoughtz]

Anyone But You Is Definitely TikTok-Coded

If you’re a rom-com lover, you’ve definitely watched or heard about the movie “Anyone But You”, starring Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell as lead actors. What’s surprising about this film is the many TikTok references you can find.

To explain it briefly - Bea and Ben share one amazing night that ends with a big misunderstanding which leads them to hate each other. When they’re invited to a wedding, they decide to fake a relationship because of their exes' presence at the event. It’s a classic rom-com that has been kinda ruined by all the references to TikTok.

I personally found a few of them that made me say “This is from booktok”. For those who don’t know, booktok is simply a part of TikTok, a community for readers if you want, where people discusse everything and anything about books. There are many videos about what new books are trending, thoughts about authors or genres, and even memes.

One of the main topics you can find there are the many tropes that you can find in a story. A trope is an idea overused in books, some may be good and some can be debatable but one thing is for sure - a lot of readers really love enemies to lovers which is the vibe I first got from this movie.

Although it was more like probable lovers to enemies to lovers, but the trailer was trying to give a clear idea that the protagonists hate each other so much. Another trope I found, but again these are very commonly used in any romance movie/novel so it’s not that big of a deal, is the fact that they fake a relationship in order to gain something but end up falling in love instead.

Those are very subtle references and they might not even come from TikTok per se, but it’s surely strange how this movie had two of the most loved tropes on social media.

The biggest reference from booktok I found is the beach scene. The characters are on the beach as they’re about to have fun when the couple (Bea’s sister and her future wife) tell Bea and Ben that they’re going to share a room and, unfortunately, there’s only one bed as a joke.

If one could question the first two references, this one speaks for itself. If you’re a part of booktok, you’ve most likely seen all the videos praising the one-room-one-bed trope. This one could not be a coincidence, what are the odds of this movie mentioning one of the readers’ most loved and wanted tropes?

Other than that, the movie used a lot of terms and phrases that went viral on TikTok, one could discuss that they’re now part of our everyday vocabulary but it’s still hard to find new films and series that use them without receiving backlash.

The use of the word cringe is one of the many examples. “That’s cringe” and “It’s cringe to say cringe” represented so well the discussion around this word on TikTok. For those who don’t know, cringe was very popular on TikTok a few years ago but, like every trend, it quickly became uncool to use it leading people to tell those who were still using it that it was “cringe to say cringe”.

The best reference yet is when Ben’s friend is cheering on him by saying: “Two showers in a day? Go off king, get cleaned.” It’s very common for viewers on TikTok to refer to someone as Queen or King as a way to show that they respect them while still being sarcastic. This one is not very used in everyday situations so I was very surprised when I first heard it.

Another terminology that comes from social media is Situationship. It’s a way to describe a couple that is not official but still acts like one. They’re not officially in a relationship but still in a situationship which mostly indicates that they’re not too serious about their relation. It’s used a few times in the movie but I think this one is fairly used by everyone nowadays.

And so is the term bro which is repeatedly used in the movie, the problem is that it was Bea calling Ben bro. This one isn’t necessarily taken from TikTok although it is principally used on the app to refer to people ironically. Among all these references, I think this was the worst yet, it felt so forced and awkward.

I’ve seen many articles and videos talking about how cringe this movie is and I have to agree on this one. To be fair, the idea is not that bad and the acting was ok most of the time, the thing that didn’t sell it for me was seeing these grown-up people talking like teenagers on the web.

Nowadays more movies try to integrate internet slang in their dialogues, some are acceptable, like the movie Bottoms, but others just look like a hot mess. It’s ok to show how people actually use TikTok slang or trends in movies but there needs to be an adaptation, it’s cool to see teenagers use them in a way that actually represents real life but once it’s older people who clearly don’t even know what those words mean… it loses its sense.

As I said, being TikTok-coded is not necessarily a bad thing, it just sucks the moment it’s not done properly. It’s a rom-com which means that it should be funny but I totally got lost every time they tried to make a joke.

These are just a few references I got but I’m sure there are many more. What do you think about the movie? Let me know in the comments!

[2manythoughtz]

Gypsy Rose Is Being Over-Glorified On Social Media 

The girl who escaped years of abuse and went to jail after orchestrating her mother’s death is free and the socials are going crazy about her story.

This isn’t the first time the internet has taken interest in a criminal case, we’ve had many cases of people on social media taking a stand for the best or for the worst but what is happening to Gypsy Rose might be the first time a criminal becomes a famous figure because of her story. And that’s mainly because whether she can be considered a criminal or not is up for debate to this day, but who exactly is Gypsy Rose Blanchard and what did she do?

Some may know her from the famous TV series “The Act” which follows the girl’s story from the day she moved to Springfield (Missouri) with her mother Dee Dee after Hurricane Katrina in 2008 to the day she got arrested in 2015. Her story is a tragedy unlike any ever seen before. In fact, Gypsy has suffered all her life from the abuse her mother put her through, forcing her to take medication and lying about her health conditions when she had nothing wrong to begin with. 

Dee Dee is believed to have suffered from Münchausen syndrome which is a mental condition that makes it so people seek medical attention by faking or inducing physical symptoms as a way to get attention, sympathy or reassurance for themselves. And that is exactly what Dee Dee did, she made up many conditions and forced her daughter to get treatment and lie about it to the public, specifically, she convinced everyone that Gypsy could not walk and had to use a wheelchair, she had cancer and that was the reason why she couldn’t grow out her hair, she couldn’t eat and needed to be fed by a feeding tube, she had an allergy to sugar and many more health problems that were not true. Whenever she had to talk about her daughter’s problems, she would say that Gypsy had the mind of a kid, suggesting that the girl had also a mental disability.

As I said earlier, Gypsy was perfectly healthy and did not need any of the many procedures she went through ever since she was just a kid. And if that was not enough, Gypsy also had to endure a lot of physical and mental abuse as a way for Dee Dee to keep her under control. But how could she do that without anyone noticing? In this case, timing is the answer. Because they moved after Katrina it was easy for the mother to fake hospital records and personal information, such as Gypsy’s date of birth. Thanks to that, Dee Dee was able to convince people her daughter was ill without any type of suspicion from others, not even the doctors who checked on Gypsy. 

Slowly Gypsy started to realize what was going on but she didn’t have the power to go against her mother, mostly because of the years of manipulation and abuse she had endured but also because she was aware that coming clean meant that she would’ve lost everything and have people look at her differently from before. That’s when Gypsy starts to connect with the outside world on the internet in secret and that’s how she meets Nicholas Godejhon who will later on become her boyfriend and help her in her crime.

So what happened? After years of wanting free, Gypsy asks her online boyfriend for help and together they plan on killing her mother to be able to escape her and start a life together. They only succeed in half of it as they get arrested not too long after killing Dee Dee and went to trial. Only in 2016 Gypsy pleads guilty to second-degree murder as she confessed that she was the one convincing Nick to stab her mother, but because of all the abuse experienced she was sentenced to 10 years in prison while Nick was sentenced to life in prison without parole for first-degree murder. 

But why are we talking about her now? Gypsy Rose Blanchard was released from jail last month and immediately started being active on socials. She had always been open with the media about her past and her actions, releasing various interviews and a documentary telling her truth. There was a lot of hype around her release as people all over the world either loved her or hated her but, apparently, the majority of people seemed to be in favor of Gypsy’s early release. 

This new attention quickly transformed into hate as fans started to realize that maybe having a criminal become a famous figure is not the best idea, not only because of the many ethical issues behind it but also because Gypsy herself doesn’t know how to handle herself. She’s been controlled all her life by her mother, she couldn’t say what she wanted nor do any activity others her age would do and now she’s finally free but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she is aware of her words or actions. 

People don’t appreciate the way she’s been using her platforms but also the things she’s been saying in interviews, telling people that she wasn’t responsible for her mother’s death since she didn’t actually kill her, she just planned the whole thing but Nick did the stabbing. I think that comment in particular made people think about the fact that she, a woman who was involved in a murder, is now so popular online that she has 8,2M followers on Instagram and 9,9M followers on TikTok which is kind of scary, she is now living her best life because of all the fame that she accumulated thanks to her story. 

In the span of a month, she went from being the IT girl to one of those problematic influencers we can find on social media. Believe it or not, people all over TikTok are trying to bring her down with old information about her case, trying to show that she’s not as innocent as she claims to be. As I said, it’s debatable whether her intentions were excused or not, there is so much to say about her story that only Gypsy knows. Is it ok to glorify a girl who’s had such a difficult life and will never be able to live a normal simple life like everyone else?

Let me know what you think!

[2manythoughtz]

Is Barbie A Joke To Critics?

Just a week ago I wrote an article about the Barbie movie and how it was not only misunderstood but also overlooked when it comes to its deep meaning. We’ve had people like Jo Koy mocking the movie and comparing it to Oppenheimer which is a movie inspired by real events of our past, not only that but the winning song was I’m Just Ken, that alone should show just how little critics care to take what the movie teaches us and use it in the real world.

And we’re back at it. As you know, the nominations for the Oscars have been released. You’d be surprised to see that neither Margot Robbie (the main actress who interpreted Barbie) nor Greta Gerwig (the director of Barbie) got nominated in their categories. Speaking of the directors’ category, Greta is not new to being snubbed by the Oscars, it had already happened with Little Women. The only difference is that in 2020 there were no women nominated as best director, this year we have a female director who’s been nominated and that’s Justine Triet with Anatomy of a Fall, which is not bad. What’s laughable is the fact that Barbie has won the Golden Globes Award for Cinematic and Box Office Achievement and yet its director is not taken seriously.

And we’re not even talking about any film, to this day Barbie has made 1.45 billion U.S. dollars worldwide which makes it the best movie debut for a female director. 

Margot Robbie didn’t get nominated as best actress although her performance as Barbie was absolutely iconic, she really brought Barbie to life in a unique way that not many actresses could’ve achieved. If you thought it couldn’t get any worse, let me tell you that Ryan Gosling (the actor who interpreted Ken) got nominated as Best Supporting Actor. That is fair, Ryan did an amazing job at portraying Ken, he really made his character funny and entertaining, he earned his nomination and I’m sure everyone is happy that he was one of the two nominees for Barbie. 

But fans were not the only ones who were disappointed, Ryan Gosling himself commented on the matter and showed his displeasure. Here are his words:

“I am extremely honored to be nominated by my colleagues alongside such remarkable artists in a year of so many great films. And I never thought l’d being saying this, but I’m also incredibly honored and proud that it’s for portraying a plastic doll named Ken.

But there is no Ken without Barbie, and there is no Barbie movie without Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie, the two people most responsible for this history-making, globally-celebrated film.

No recognition would be possible for anyone on the film without their talent, grit and genius.

To say that I’m disappointed that they are not nominated in their respective categories would be an understatement.

Against all odds with nothing but a couple of soulless, scantily clad, and thankfully crotchless dolls, they made us laugh, they broke our hearts, they pushed the culture and they made history. Their work should be recognized along with the other very deserving nominees.

Having said that, I am so happy for America Ferrera and the other incredible artists who contributed their talents to making this such a groundbreaking film.”

As Ryan said, the only woman who got nominated is America Ferrera who had an impactful role in the movie, her monologue about women and every hardship that they have to face because of society has become viral. Her character represents women, any women, and she did an outstanding job that earned her the nomination for Best Supporting Actress. The only shame is that she’s the only woman who got the privilege of being nominated for a movie that talks about feminism and how women don’t have the same treatment as men.

The Oscars proved Barbie right once again. 

[2manythoughtz]

Barbie has been deeply misunderstood?

The movie Barbie is still topic of many discussions among viewers and their different points of view. The Golden Globes have proved just why this movie was needed in the first place.

Recently some comments have been made during The Golden Globes that have left people thinking. For those who don’t know, The Golden Globes is an annual ceremony that takes place in the US and awards movies, TV series, actors and so on based on their categories and the votes are made by approximately 300 entertainment journalists from various parts of the world. As with all ceremonies, they must have a host who most of the time is someone famous in the entertainment industry and who is meant to make the night funny and unforgettable, sadly this year was not the case.

Jo Koy, who is a famous stand-up comedian and actor, was the host of this year’s edition and some of his jokes left people speechless. While most VIPs in the audience looked somehow confused and uncomfortable as he tried to get a few laughs from everyone. Of course, hosting is not an easy task, there’s a lot of pressure on the person and I’m sure they need a lot of time to prepare their jokes. That doesn’t excuse what has been said and, while no one in the audience said anything about it, the fans at home were not so silent on the matter.

While many lines were not appreciated, such as Jo Koy’s comment about Taylor Swift that left her fans bitter about it, one in particular really struck a nerve and everyone started talking about it on social media. “Oppenheimer is based on a 721-page Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project, and Barbie is on a plastic doll with big boobies.” And if that wasn’t bad enough, he then added. “I don’t want you guys to think that I’m a creep. It was kind of weird being attracted to a plastic doll, just something about your eyes, Ryan…it’s not all about you Margot.” And finally. "The key moment in Barbie is when she goes from perfect beauty to bad breath, cellulite, and flat feet. Or what casting directors call character actor!"

As you can imagine, the Barbie cast was not too enthusiastic about these comments as they looked embarrassed rather than amused. People all over social media are criticizing Jo Koy for proving the movie’s point, just because the movie is about a “doll with big boobies” doesn’t mean that it’s something he can comment about so lightly. This misogynistic behavior is exactly why Barbie was made in the first place, to show people that in a world dominated by men, women will always be looked down upon, whether they’re real or just dolls.

But what is the Barbie movie about? Whether you love it or hate it, I think everyone agrees on the fact that the Barbie movie is a way to show people, mostly young women, that it’s hard to fit in today’s society. Women have been fighting for their rights for years, trying to become men’s equals while also feeling the pressure that has been put on them to be perfect no matter what. Barbie is about a doll, yes, but the story revolves around something deeper. The way Barbie slowly realizes that being imperfect is not a bad thing, it’s just a human thing, and the way she manages to understand her feelings as she evolves from feeling perfect to slowly wondering if there’s more to life is just eye-opening.

The movie discusses many topics and, while some of them may be a bit controversial, the main topic is womanhood. What is it to be a woman, what if feels to be a woman and how women are portrayed. So joking about Barbie’s body in a sexual way and the struggles she encounters is not only sickening but also embarrassing.

Greta Gerwig, the movie’s director, remained professional on her end and when asked to comment on Jo Koy’s words, she simply said. “Well, he’s not wrong,” she continued. “She’s the first doll that was mass-produced with breasts, so he was right on. And you know, I think that so much of the project of the movie was unlikely because it is about a plastic doll. Barbie by her very construction has no character, no story, she’s there to be projected upon.”

Even so, the Barbie movie won an award for best Cinematic and Box Office Achievement.

Speaking of awards, there’s something else we must address. Another misconception that shows just how everyone has misunderstood how deep the movie’s message is. In fact, most of the movie’s soundtracks were nominated as Best Song at the Critics Choice Awards and, as everyone expected What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish to be the winner, I’m Just Ken ended up winning that title. Yet again, it’s almost laughable as this song is basically a joke about the Kens feeling misunderstood and ignored by Barbie, while What Was I Made For is a song about womanhood and the hard feelings and fears that women live with. The award went to the only song made by a man that was up against the other 2 songs made by women for the same movie.

Ryan Gosling’s reaction has become viral online as you can see him confused and unamused by this unexpected victory. Yes, I’m Just Ken maybe became more popular because of the memes but to put it above a meaningful song such as What Was I Made For felt unreal. I’m not sure which was worse, Jo Koy’s jokes or this award.

What are you thoughts? Let me know!

[churutu]

Why Heartbreak Can Be So Devastating, and Why It's Worth It

It can be as soothing as marijuana, as electrifying as cocaine, as warming as heroin. And as lethal as a cocktail of them all.

Love has always been a drug to man’s soul. Highly addictive and extremely intoxicating, from source of inspiration to cause of despair. From the dawn of time to the 21st century it has both corrupted and purified our existence.

Love seems to transcend space and time, breaking barriers and stopping at nothing until a heart has been impregnated. It is an invisible narcotic that somehow takes full control of our body, mind and soul. An explosion of chemical reactions that takes place inside our brain and makes its way down to our heart.

The thing is, it can take you from the highest highs, to the lowest lows.

The Highs

Helen Fisher, American anthropologist, human behaviour researcher, and author of “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love”, once said that the brain region where we find activity related to love, also becomes active when you feel the rush of cocaine.

The difference is, Fisher added, you eventually come down from a cocaine high.

Love, on the other hand, is there to stay. It’s inside of us and all around us. Unavoidable, invisible, weightless. You can’t see it, you can’t hide from it, and once it gets a hold of you, there’s no escaping it.

“Romantic love is much more, it’s an obsession, it possesses you, you lose your sense of self. You can’t stop thinking about another human being.” — Helen Fisher

One taste of it and you’re hooked.

As with any other drug, connections are rewired in your brain and you begin to feel bad when you don’t have it in your system — you crave it, you need it, you can’t stop thinking about it.

Your brain is a sneaky little fella and it is designed to figure out how to get you out of stressful situations. In short, it always gets what it wants.

And so you fall in love. Unconditionally and irrevocably in love.

You love the feeling and you don’t want it to stop. You want to feel like this all the time, over and over again.

That rush when you hear their voice, like a lullaby singing you to sleep. That feeling of oblivion when you stare into their eyes, and everything else fades away, leaving only the both of you. Those goosebumps on your skin when you touch, a funny sensation running through your whole body.

Together, space disappears and time freezes. All you can feel is each other’s heartbeat, all you can hear is each other’s breath. That second, everything that exists and matters is right there, between the two of you.

It is beautiful, and so it becomes addictive. But what happens if when it stops?

The Lows

According to the dictionary definition, “withdrawal symptoms” are the unpleasant physical reaction that accompanies the process of ceasing to take an addictive drug.

Unpleasant is a bit of an understatement if you ask me, but you get the picture.

Love really does mess up your neural circuitry and changes your brain architecture the same way drugs do. This is why heartbreak can feel so similar to drug withdrawal.

As Dr. Mike Dow, Hollywood therapist and bestselling author of Heal Your Drained Brain, likes to put it: broken heart, broken mind.

“Romantic love releases a flood of feel-good brain chemicals”, says Dr. Dow, “relationships boost our levels of oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone’, which helps us form bonds with others. The two other chemicals that are associated with relationships are dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, and serotonin, which helps to regulate our mood and is associated with happiness.”

Heartbreak therefore, scientifically speaking, equates to an abrupt stop of the regular supply of these neurotransmitters, which is characteristic of a romantic relationship, and so we start experiencing what is called neurological withdrawal.

The explosion of chemical reactions that took control over your body when you fell in love, now leaves a gigantic void inside of you.

Their scent, their touch, the sound of their voice. Everything becomes nothing but a painful reminder of what once was. You miss the little things, like the way they used to set the table for a cosy breakfast, or the way they laughed when they got nervous. You even start missing the things that used to make you mad.

Anxiety, depression, isolation, and sadness are all associated with the deficit of the chemicals that are no longer provided by the romantic relationship. At this point, our bodies need time to adjust and time to heal. Our mind and our soul go through hell and back, but make no mistake, your heart is eventually restored.

In the meantime, though, you might ask yourself: Are the highest highs worth the lowest lows?

Fall in love, for it is the most wonderful thing you can do for your soul. Let go of all rationality and just trust that whoever it is you’re falling for, will be there to catch you.

[2manythoughtz]

Damon Vs Stefan, But They’re Both Toxic

One of the most popular debates on the internet ever since the first season aired is: which Salvatore brother is the best love interest? But is it really up for discussion?

(before reading, this is only my opinion based on my knowledge of the series, I'm not trying to hate on the characters or the series)

Most movies and series have their fanbases discussing many topics which can lead to real divisions among fans. The hottest topic you can ever discuss with another fan is probably what’s the best ship (romantic couple) or love interest.

The biggest example is probably the Twilight Saga which has people still arguing whether the best love interest is Edward or Jacob.

Speaking of supernatural romance, The Vampire Diaries is still to this day one of the most popular TV series, with eight seasons and two spin-offs, it quickly became revolutionary.

Seeing how people still talk about it, I wanted to compare the Salvatore brothers and explain why they’re both terrible choices. To do so, I will focus on both of them singularly so that, even if you haven’t seen the series or you don’t remember it that well, you can understand my point of view.

Stefan

I’ve seen so many people arguing that Stefan is the best love interest because he’s “the good one” and his love for the protagonist, Elena Gilbert, is so pure. 

While I can see why one would think that he’s not as “evil” as his brother, I wouldn’t say that he is good. In fact, I think he’s just as bad as Damon on so many levels.

But let’s take it from the start. We meet Stefan immediately in the first episode, he’s portrayed as this mysterious, good-looking and emotionally unavailable guy who was extremely acclaimed in every 00s movie. He’s enrolling in the same High School as Elena, and we can see right there that he’s not like any other boy in that school.

In fact, he’s a vampire and he’s decided to study there just to meet Elena. Why, you would ask. Well, because Elena looks exactly like Stefan’s old lover Katherine. Funnily enough, a few seasons later we find out that Stefan never truly loved Katherine, they had their share of fun and he cared for her, but once he realized what she had done to him, he immediately resented her. 

Elena and Stefan fall in love and they help each other whenever something goes wrong, which happens very frequently. Because of that, they get separated and their love slowly fades away as they break up after a year together. 

Elena gets with Damon, but we’ll talk about that later, and Stefan has some up and downs before falling in love with Caroline. Their relationship is peculiar in a way, at first they both push each other away, then get together, then push each other away again and then get back together again. 

Spoiler alert: Stefan dies in the end as he decides that he wants to sacrifice himself to help Elena and Damon live a happy life together as they wanted. 

So, as you can see, he seems like a very gentle and honorable guy, but there’s more to be said about him. 

Stefan is a ripper, he can’t control himself around blood and ends up losing his humanity as he slaughters and eats every human along his path. He’s known for killing entire villages, spreading chaos and fear. Sure, one might excuse him because later on it’s revealed that he got that gene from his mother. 

But let’s put it this way. For Stefan blood is like alcohol for an alcoholic, they may not know what they’re doing when they’re drunk but that still doesn’t excuse their actions, the same goes for our vampire. 

Stefan is a hot mess as a vampire, he’s a ticking bomb and only has two regimes: he either feeds on animals, which results in him being way too weak, or he drinks blood and goes crazy.

Not to mention, the young Salvatore isn’t exactly an angel. He’s done many wrongdoings throughout the series but they’ve all been forgiven just because he’s Stefan and everyone likes him, only in the last season he finally realises everything that he has done once he becomes human, a big foreshadowing of his death in the end. 

He’s still manipulated and killed people because they were getting in his way, but maybe that doesn’t really count as toxic seeing as most characters in TVD do so without any problem. 

So let’s talk about his attitude throughout the 8 seasons. Stefan has had a few love interests after Elena broke up with him, that wasn’t necessarily his fault since he had been compelled by Niklaus to turn off his humanity, but even after regaining his humanity, he seems off and distant. 

After Elena, Stefan is confused and doesn’t really know what to do. But just as he was about to get over her, his brother gets sucked into another dimension (so much happens in TVD, so I hope you can keep up with me) and he decides to just leave everything behind and get a new life and a new girlfriend.

That doesn’t go too well since the girl dies soon after, he was never really into her and never opened up about anything with her. 

So later on he realizes that he’s in love with Caroline, what a surprise, but the two of them cannot be together yet. Once they actually become a thing (it takes a while), Stefan’s first love appears and Caroline is very jealous.

Does that stop Stefan from running away with his first love and having a relationship with her as soon as he’s in danger? Nope, he does leave Caroline without saying anything and spends years with his first lover. 

Not to mention, as soon as he gets back in town he gets dumped by the girl and he goes back to Caroline. She accepts but tells him that he can’t run away from her anymore.

He kind of runs away again? He proposes to her but he’s also wanted by the Devil to work for him, so he turns off his humanity and leaves Caroline… again. 

See a pattern here?

In the end, as I said, he sacrifices himself for Damon and Elena… right after marrying Caroline. 

Now, I’m not saying he’s the worst person in the whole series, but I must admit that his relationships were all very weird and superficial. He never really got in-depth about his feelings with anyone a part maybe from Elena. He always sacrificed himself for Elena, which was cool when they were together, but after breaking up my question is… why? He gave up on his brother when he thought he was dead, but never gave up on his ex-girlfriend? 

Let’s see it from Caroline’s point of view. Her boyfriend took his sweet time to realize that he liked her, he left with his first lover, proposed and then immediately un-proposed since he worked for the devil, he had a full debate about whether he should’ve married Caroline and after marrying her he basically kills himself for his ex… 

As I said, I don’t think he’s exactly good. I personally think that he’s very toxic in his ways, we just learn to ignore it throughout the series because he’s always painted as the best brother. But to be fair, even if he had stayed with Elena things wouldn’t have gone any better between his blood problems and tendencies to sacrifice himself for anything. 

Damon

Let’s talk about the older brother.

It’s fair to say that most people love Damon even if he’s the bad boy, or maybe they like him because of that. 

I honestly think that he’s had a big character development in the first 3/4 seasons, but after that, it got really boring and repetitive. At least, unlike Stefan, he learned to value himself and those around him. 

Damon is presented to us as this jerk and heartless older brother whose only goal in life is to torment Stefan for everything he’s done to him. That promise gets forgotten very quickly in the series, but that’s a different topic. 

I personally cannot stand Damon in the first 2 seasons. He’s so exaggerated in every way, he’s made out to be this big bully who kills without remorse and sleeps with everyone. 

He literally kills for no reason if not for fun, but everyone gets over it very easily, if not for a few times when they kind of point out to him that he’s not the best person ever, but what really ticked me off was the way he treated Vicky and Caroline.

Vicky’s death is something spoken about every season with her making an appearance every single time. So many things would’ve changed if she hadn’t died! And Caroline… well, I just felt sorry for all the abuse she had to endure and that everyone ignored once she became a vampire.

Can we also talk about the fact that Damon is like 25 (ignoring the fact that he's been alive/dead for 170-something years) and sleeping with Caroline who’s 17 while having a crush on Elena while she’s also 17? Yikes.

He’s very determined to find Katherine, his only true love who is later revealed to be a traitor and a liar. Everything Damon has done to get her back means nothing and the worst part is that Katherine has always been in love with Stefan and Stefan only. 

Once his love dream gets destroyed, he focuses on Elena full-time. He seems to be dependable on his love interest, meaning that he lives his life based on that only. 

And his personality doesn’t really change when he turns off his emotions so there’s not much to compare him to, if anything it just makes it worse because it means that he’s always so bloodthirsty and perverse in a sense. 

He doesn’t really have any relationships other than Elena and Katherine, he does hook up with many people throughout the series but it’s nothing more than sex most of the time, except for a few women he befriended.

The only good development he had was about caring for his friends other than his girlfriend. But that doesn’t cancel the fact that he was willing to kill and actually killed Elena and Stefan’s friends for nothing. But yeah, there isn’t much to say about Damon since his main problem is killing people here and there and his obsession with his love interest.

But even that doesn’t stop him from sleeping with other people while being deeply in love with Elena or Katherine, although this is a bigger problem in movies and series, cheating is so normalized that people don’t even think about it anymore. While one could discuss that he didn’t really cheat since Katherine was allegedly blocked under a church and Elena was asleep and couldn’t wake up. But is it really a good excuse? I mean, if his love for her was so deep that he wanted to become human and spend the rest of his life with her, shouldn’t he only want to sleep with her?

As per toxicity, in his relationships, he’s pretty stubborn and easily irascible. He’s Stefan’s opposite, so while he’s understanding and open to confrontation, Damon tends to think that his opinion is always correct and there is no other way until proven wrong, and even there he won’t admit that his idea wasn’t the best. I think it’s safe to say that he has some anger issues, every time he has an argument with someone or feels threatened he goes rogue and unleashes his anger on people. 

He’s not the nicest but as I said, that doesn’t mean much. He might not be as nice as Stefan but that doesn’t make him worse, to be honest. 

So in conclusion I don’t think that there’s a better choice, both brothers helped and ruined Elena's life in many ways. Both of them had this superhero complex and wanted to sacrifice themselves all the time, they could’ve just come up with another idea or something half of the time but they didn’t. And every time Elena got in trouble it was mostly because of them, because someone wanted to get revenge on what they did in the past or simply to hurt them and she was the perfect way to do so. I’m also pretty confused by the fact that they fell in love with Elena just because she looked like Katherine at first, Damon’s infatuation is plausible since he was head over heels for that woman, but Stefan? He never really loved her, so why approach Elena in the first place?

Like most stories with supernatural characters, vampires are not the healthiest partners. Stefan or Damon? That’s not an easy decision, but not because they’re both amazing people, although they did care for Elena till the end. They’re both toxic and difficult to deal with but maybe that’s exactly what made them so memorable and acclaimed by fans. No matter how cold and scary they could seem, they had a sweet side of them with the people they really cared about.

Which brother do you prefer? Let me know!

[churutu]

[churutu]

You Should Be Proud of Being an Introvert

Photo by Cassie Boca on Unsplash

It’s Saturday night, and I’m home alone.

While the whole city around me is probably out partying, I’m in my room listening to my favorite lo-fi playlist on Spotify, snacking on some popcorn, and typing away on my computer — it might sound like a wasted Saturday night for most of you, but let me tell you, I couldn’t be more in my element.

Don’t get me wrong, I would go crazy if I never got out of my house, but in this stimuli-filled world, I can only stand so many hours of social interaction before I feel completely drained and need some me time to recharge my batteries. The same is true for university, for example: While I enjoy attending certain lectures and seminars, I still perform better on my exams if I’m able to prepare by myself, which is why the silence and calmness of my room are much appreciated. Even when it comes to work, I have no problem following orders, but most of the time I’m better off doing things on my own anyway.

I’ll just go ahead and say it, I’m an introvert.

As I write this, something feels off and the same question keeps on popping into my head: Why should I even have to convince people that being an introvert is a good thing?

The problem is, in Anaïs Nin’s words, that our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts.

In today’s society, introversion is often seen as an undesirable trait. Even I myself, as an introvert, used to think that way. As a teenager you could often catch me staring at the extroverted kids, thinking, why can’t I be like that?

Luckily, that’s not the way I look at it anymore, and I’m here to tell you why you shouldn’t either. To be completely honest, I’m quite happy with the person I’m turning out to be, and I believe it was, to a great extent, my introverted self who made me the man I am today.

We think before we speak

I admit it, we don’t talk much, but is that really a bad thing?

As introverts, we usually feel less comfortable talking, so we take our time before we actually decide to do so. But think about it, if we’re not talking, that means we’re listening. If we’re not talking, that means we’re choosing the right words to properly express ourselves. If we’re not talking, that means we feel there’s nothing worth saying — we like to focus on quality, not quantity, so that when we do talk, we actually add value to the conversation.

My grandmother used to say that I rarely spoke during arguments, but when I did, it was like my words slapped everyone in the face.

Put differently, if you think before speaking, you can carefully pick and choose what you say, which then allows for your words to have a bigger impact. Now don’t get me wrong, talking a lot isn’t necessarily the problem,talking for talking’s sake is — or, as Stuart Wilde puts it in his book “Silent Power”:

“Most people talk too much, and what they do say is often just noise or irrelevant gibberish designed to keep themselves entertained.”

The ability to just shut up and listen allows us to do more than just thinking before speaking, though:

We make deep connections

Yes, our social circle is probably smaller than that of an extrovert, but remember, quality, not quantity.

I recently watched a TedTalk by Dr. Raj Persaud,”The Psychology of Seduction”, and out of the 16-minute talk, there was something that I found particularly interesting: Dr. Raj explains how there are three “phases” to a relationship — attention, interest, and maintenance. Apparently, extroverts are better at catching the interest and attention of a potential lover, introverted people, on the other hand, are better at maintaining the relationship.

While Dr. Raj’s seduction tips were probably developed with romantic relationships in mind, I think the theory applies to any type of connection between two human beings.

As introverts, we often have a harder time making friends, let alone flirting with someone we find attractive, but the few times we are able to take down that interest/attention barrier that extroverts can so effortlessly walk through, the bond we create is long-lasting and, dare I say, indestructible. Some of the closest people to me are childhood friends that I now rarely see, others I met randomly through life and hang out with almost daily — but regardless of the frequency with which we see each other, regardless of how, when or where we met, I know I can count on them at any time, for anything.

I can count these people on one hand, and I wouldn’t have it any other way — I don’t need, and to be honest don’t want, a bunch of mere acquaintances to hang out with every time I have nothing better to do:

We feel comfortable being alone

We’re not socially awkward, we’re not antisocial, we’re not lonely — but we’re comfortable even with no one’s company but our own.

Our society is pretty much built by extroverts, for extroverts: At school they push you to come out of your shell, at work they highly encourage group brainstorming sessions; the world pretty much teaches us, from a very young age, that we must become more extroverted. While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with any of that, you can’t deny that, as a society, we’ve lost a basic yet foundational capability, being alone with our thoughts.

In his Pensees, philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote that “all of humanity’s problems, stem from man’s inability to seat quietly in a room alone.”

I don’t know if I fully agree with such an extreme statement, but I definitely get Pascal’s point: Most people nowadays can’t even fathom spending a Saturday night at home.

Yet here I am, Saturday night, talking to you through my computer, writing, and listening to music, all by myself. I’d be lying if I said I stay at home every day and night of the week, but I do find myself craving more alone time than most of my peers — as an introvert, I have a preference for more quiet, minimally stimulating environments, which is why I’m not only comfortable, I actually enjoy seating quietly in a room, alone.

Bill Gates, for example, is living proof of how introverts enjoy and actually thrive during their alone time: He is arguably the most successful introvert on this planet, and from time to time he likes to have what he calls “think weeks”. 

Matthias Reumann

 wrote a great article on them, but in short, a think week is a week in which Gates decides to go off the grid, separate from civilization and just reflect and ponder on different subjects, like the future of technology.

Who would’ve thought, Bill Gates, the co-founder and chairman of Microsoft, an introvert:

We make great leaders

Unexpected, right?

I don’t think there’s a scientifically-proven list of qualities needed for great leadership, but if I asked you to come up with one yourself, what would you write down? It would probably look something like this: Assertive, talkative, sociable, action-oriented, confident — extroverts are usually regarded by society as natural born leaders, and honestly, I can see why.

I can see why, but are they actually right?

According to the data, not completely: In 2012 Susan Cain published a book called “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”, and the whole second chapter was pretty much dedicated to debunking this myth. As she puts it:

“Extroverts are routinely chosen for leadership positions and introverts are looked over, even though introverts often deliver better outcomes.”

The numbers speak clearly, our world population is equally divided: Half introverts, half extroverts, give or take. Still, according to a study presented by the Wall Street Journal, only 5% of midlevel managers are considered introverts, the number goes down to 3% when it comes to executives, and as low as 2% for top executives.

As you can see, not many introverts get to those leadership positions, but the few who do, tend to deliver incredible results.

Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Mahatma Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Abraham Lincoln. Whether it be running a company, a country, or a movement, these names have had a massive influence in their respective fields, and they are/were all introverts.

According to Cain, the secret behind these quiet leaders’ successful leadership, can be boiled down to two main factors:

By nature, us introverts, tend to get extremely passionate about the matters that interest us in life. Passion for our work, a cause, or a mission, allows us to gain expertise, inspire trust, and make alliances — in other words, when the people we are leading feel that commitment, they too get inspired and fully invest themselves in that work, cause, or mission.

A less romantic, yet fundamental aspect of quiet leadership, is our ability to listen: “Introverted leaders tend to solicit ideas from other people and listen to those ideas and use them, so there is not as much of a brain drain”, said Cain in an interview with WorkHuman Radio.

Before I let you go, I’d like to clear one thing up: This is in no way, shape or form an attack on extroverted people.

I just thought it’d be nice to, for once, praise all the introverts out there.

We are used to being told that we should talk more, open up more, go out more, but I firmly believe that thinking more, pondering more, and reflecting more, is equally as important.

So, to all my fellow introverts out there, keep being yourself, and remember:

“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.” — Susan Cain

[ophelia-is-not-okay]

The amount of innocent intimacy these words hold...

"You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read."

- Charles Dickens

and...

“Each time you happen to me all over again.”

― Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence

[churutu]

The Science Behind Great Storytelling

(Photo by Pereanu Sebastian on Unsplash)

Why do you write?

There’s probably no easy, straightforward answer to such a question. Some people write to express themselves, some to share their stories or opinions, some to inspire other people, some to educate, some even find it therapeutic. It’s a question that has both no answer and multiple, complex answers, all at once — we all write different things, for different reasons.

Nonetheless, whatever your why might be, there’s a common denominator among them all: As writers and story-tellers, we aim to transform our why into written words, in order to elicit a certain array of feelings and emotions in our readers.

What we write certainly plays a big role here, but in my humble opinion, how we write it is what makes the difference: The way you describe a murder can make the whole scene go from tragedy to comedy; the way the reader feels about a character depends on the words you use while presenting it; different punctuation can give completely different meanings to the same sentence. In other words, by learning how to write you are able to control what your audience feels while reading your work — this is why learning, experimenting, and practicing are crucial steps towards great writing and story-telling.

No surprises here, right? Everyone knows the more you write, the more you learn, and the more you learn, the better you write. It’s the well-known practice makes perfect cycle that has repeated itself throughout history and, paired with talent, has churned out some of the greatest writers of all time.

So, I could tell you to practice everyday, to read more, or to join a writing course. I could also tell you that Jane Austen’s literary style relies on a combination of parody, burlesque, irony, free indirect speech, and a degree of realism. I could tell you how Hemingway stood out from the crowd thanks to his concise, straightforward, and realistic style. If we wanted to get even more technical, I could also tell you that Shakespeare used a metrical pattern consisting of lines of unrhymed iambic pentameter, called blank verse — in short, I could tell you things you’d find in your English literature book, or things you’ve already been told a million times before.

But that’s not what I’m going to do. Instead, I’ll tell you about the science behind our readers’ emotions, the effect our words have on them while reading, and how to make them work for you:

The science

It’s all about neurotransmitters.

Technically speaking, a neurotransmitter is “a chemical substance which is released at the end of a nerve fibre by the arrival of a nerve impulse and, by diffusing across the synapse or junction, effects the transfer of the impulse to another nerve fibre, a muscle fibre, or some other structure.”

In simple English, neurotransmitters are chemical messengers: To keep it simple, all you really need to know is that external stimuli get them fired up, and according to which one is stimulated, a certain chemical is released inside your body, provoking a certain feeling or emotion.

Unfortunately, since there are way too many different kinds of neurotransmitters, we won’t be able to cover them all here. If you are interested in the topic you can grab yourself a copy of Marco Nigrini’s book “The Brain: A User’s Manual” — reading the book, I came to the conclusion that, when it comes to writing and story-telling, there are three main neurotransmitters that we can exploit: Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Endorphins.

The storytelling

It’s still, all about neurotransmitters.

Dopamine

As Nigrini puts it in his book, “dopamine is the superstar of neurotransmitters”. You have most likely heard about it at some point in your life, and for a good reason. Most people know it as the pleasure and reward hormone, because it plays a major role when it comes to experiencing happiness, our well-being and that rewarding feeling we get after doing certain things — take social media for example: Instagram likes, Facebook messages, and Twitter retweets all stimulate the release of dopamine in our brain, which is why they all become so addictive.

For us, as writers and story-tellers, the addictive properties of dopamine are perfect if we want to keep our readers glued to our work. So the logical question now, would be how do we do it?

Suspense and expectation. These two elements alone are enough to flood your readers’ neural highways with dopamine, and get them hooked to your story — creating shorter sentences, revealing vital information that the characters don’t yet know, and building anticipation, are all simple yet effective ways to accomplish this.

Oxytocin

As writers, specially when it comes to fiction, we want our readers to fall in love with our story and our characters, we want them to bond with us and our work — this is where oxytocin steals the spotlight.

To give you an example of what exactly is this neurotransmitter’s role, imagine a mother and her newborn. As we all know, the bond between the two of them is pretty much unbreakable, but why is this? In part, it’s because of oxytocin — while nursing her newborn, oxytocin is released in large amounts, thus creating a sentiment of generosity and trust between the mother and the baby.

For obvious reasons, we can’t rely on nursing our readers, so we have to stick to the next best thing: In order to stimulate the release of oxytocin in our reader’s brain, we need to create empathic characters or narrate touching stories.

Endorphins

Chocolate and sex both release endorphins — this should give you at least a vague idea of the role they play in our body. To clear up what it is they actually do though, just know that, much like dopamine, these neurotransmitters have a massive impact on your feelings of well-being, and this is what we should take advantage of: If we give our readers a more immersive reading experience, while making them feel more at ease, comfortable, and relaxed (which are all effects that endorphins have on our body), chances are they will enjoy whatever it is we put in front of them.

The good news? Stimulating the release of endorphins in our readers is way easier than you’d think — just make them laugh.

Conclusion? As with every other aspect of life, the way we experience reading massively depends on the way our brain perceives and processes information. If we, as writers, are able to understand the mechanism behind it, we can get one step closer to mastering our craft.

So remember, use science and neurotransmitters to your advantage, and develop your writing according to the feelings and emotions you want your story to elicit in your readers.

[2manythoughtz]

Reasons Why Nate Is The Most Misunderstood Character Of Euphoria

Nate is probably the most misunderstood character of all the series, people both adore and hate him, but why is that?

When you think of Euphoria the first characters that come to mind are Rue, Jules, Maddy and Cassie. While they’re all very well-defined characters, I think we can all agree that Euphoria is great at leaving a cloud of mystery around these people. So, while you take in their backstories and see what they’re up to, you might question their actions and their reasoning since they don’t exactly show you everything you want to know.

While plot holes and mischaracterization aren’t new to fans, what seem like small mistakes when talking about the main characters can later become big trouble for other secondary characters like Nate.

To refresh your mind, Nate is the youngest son of a very important and wealthy family, his great looks and athleticism made him one of the most popular kids in school. He’s the usual asshole jock you can find in any kind of movie, only in Euphoria you can see so many different shades of him that you end up confused and you don’t know what type of person he is.

Why is he so misunderstood in the series?

As I said earlier, he is your typical jock. He’s a douche who plays football, gets the girl, throws wild parties and is overall a pretty bad person. That is until we see his backstory and realize that something is wrong.

1. Sexuality

I’m gonna stop on this point for a while because I feel like no one ever cared/understood what was going on. Ever since we got our first look at Nate’s backstory, during episode 2 of season 1 “Stuntin like my daddy”, I think people have entirely misunderstood his character based on his sexuality.

As we get to see, his psyche is very dark and twisted because of his father’s influence from a very young age, though it was indirect it didn’t stop him from getting this obsession with sex. We can see this through his whole relationship with Maddy which is very sexual and almost obsessive, which to me feels like kind of an anchor to his heterosexuality. But that doesn’t mean that he is homosexual, differently from what everyone in the series seems to think as soon as they find out that he has dick pics on his phone.

So what is he? Truth is, it doesn’t really matter? I don’t think people should concentrate on the right label as the show is good at portraying the fact that sexuality is fluid. If you think about Rue, everyone was so quick to accept her and her relationship just because she’s the protagonist, Jules also gets acclaimed for her initial confusion but Nate gets immediately ridiculed and seen as this weird boy.

Another thing that I see a lot of people talking about is his obsession with Jules in the first season, which to me doesn’t sound like a romantic interest at all and it just goes so far as for the sexual part. They’ve only shared nudes and Nate was no stranger to receiving nudes from other people, both men and women apparently, so there was never something special between them. Yes, they texted a lot and he seemed genuine in getting to know her, but let’s all remember that it all started because Nate knew Jules had hooked up with his father and wanted to protect his family’s name.

I really like how in the first season no one really talks about his preferences that much because we’re all focused on his toxic side after he attacked Maddy.

The second season was a hot mess, that is no secret. I’m not surprised he went for Cassie, if you think about it really hard it makes sense. She is everything he liked and everything Maddy wasn’t. At least at first, in the end, we’re left with a lot of questions after the school play which makes fun of Nate being gay for no apparent reason. We’re left with this curiosity, is Nate really gay and hiding his preferences because that’s what he’s been taught? Or is he simply confused and still trying to understand himself?

2. Trauma

As much as everyone hates Nate’s ways, we must remember that everything happens for a reason. In his case, Nate’s father is the real reason behind his behavior. This is in no way a reason to excuse what he did in the series nor justify him, just trying to understand the reasoning behind his character.

Euphoria has done an incredible job of showing the different traumas that affected most of the main characters, it’s amazing to see how their childhoods impacted their teenage years regardless of how serious you think their problems might be. In this sense, Nate’s childhood is very well described.

Not only he had an emotionally absent father, but he’s only seen his dad being obsessed with having the perfect family while hiding away every flaw they might have. Nate is born with this unexplained anger inside of him that we later find out is passed down by his father, that alone makes it hard for him to grow up without anyone ever noticing it.

The rest of his family is messed up as well, but the father is the real reason for how he behaves. Nate finds out about his father’s sexuality through the recordings of his random hookups with gay men and trans women, this significantly impacts little Nate’s mentality.

Not only does he learn that his father is cheating on his mother, but he also tries to hide his preferences meaning that they’re wrong. Of course, we know that that is not the case, but everything is very well explained in season 2 when we see Cal Jacobs in his teen years having difficulties with his sexuality as well, but that’s another topic to look into.

Nate’s constant obsessive behavior is just a replica of his father’s desperate tentative to have a perfect family while hiding himself. One of the main reasons why I don’t think Nate is necessarily gay is that he is never shown to have a genuine interest in men romantically speaking, just trying to fill his father’s shoes.

3. Toxic Relationships

As I said before, he is in a very toxic relationship with Maddy in season 1 and in yet another toxic relationship with Cassie in season 2. That definitely goes to define his view of love and relationships, not only that but his only example of a regular couple is his parents who barely talk to each other.

Maddy can be labeled as his first love, he goes as far as saying that he would kill for her. But it is also shown that they argue a lot and have many differences that cause them to yell at each other and become physical and that only goes to reinforce his idea that with love comes anger and it’s ok as long as it’s not out there for everybody to see.

That is shown when Nate reacts violently to Maddy insulting him in front of his family and everybody standing there. But when faced with the question about his sexuality he breaks down because he doesn’t know what acceptance is, he feels like he has failed.

With Cassie everything seems to be perfect, she’s gentle and delicate and he thinks she would be perfect to be his future wife. But as their relationship develops, we can see that he quickly regrets his decision once he sees just how broken she is. She’s perfect on the outside but she may be worse than Maddy on the inside and I believe that will definitely shape his view of relationships in the future and he’ll think twice before getting with anyone.

This can also be proved by the fact that even if he and Maddy broke up, they kept meeting up and acting like a couple, even when he was with Cassie. To me, this shows that he’s not comfortable getting with new people and would rather stay with the old toxic ones.

As I said earlier, Nate seemed genuine in talking to Jules even if he wasn’t honest with her. When she finds out that the boy she has fallen for is none other than the school’s jock she is disappointed and scared which is understandable from our point of view, but I think that left Nate bittersweet. He knew he was blackmailing her but from his point of view as long as she kept quiet he wasn’t going to do anything to her, what might’ve developed into a friendship became a hate relationship.

Going into seasons 1 and 2, Nate never tries to hurt Jules again and seems kind of melancholic that they’re not talking anymore. That might be just another way for him to see that he is not fit for friendships with the other sex and keep his view of women as these objects for his pleasure and status.

4. Self-esteem issues

Throughout the series, we can see that Nate is not this big confident jock as everyone think he is. In fact, he is very self-conscious about himself in every way. We can get a first glimpse of this in the second episode of season 1.

Nate has been working out ever since he was a child to get the perfect body, he is ashamed of his insecurities and tends to hide from others. He doesn’t like changing with his teammates in the locker room, he doesn’t feel comfortable having people around him and he needs to be in control of the situation and also everyone close to him.

His sexuality of course is his number one insecurity, he doesn’t know how to hide it so he tries his best to focus on finding the perfect girl. As I anticipated before, his relationship with Maddy feels like an excuse to feel and show his heterosexuality even though we know he isn’t. As soon as that facade is over he doesn’t seem to care about anything, not Maddy, not Cassie and definitely not Jules.

His aggression, his jealousy and his need to protect those he cares about all come from the fact that he is insecure, he fears they will leave him and he’ll lose the only people he actually accepts. At the end of the day, he is still a teenager and feels just like most teenagers which is something I feel like most people completely forget and see him just as this grown asshole that only cares about himself.

In conclusion, while Nate is probably the most hated character in the series, he is so complex and has a lot of potential, it’s a shame that it was wasted in the end. There is so much more to say about him that I think was completely missed throughout the second season. There is so much people want to know about Nate’s future, is he going to hide all his life and play pretend like his father? Or will he break the cycle and finally be himself?

What do you think? Feel free to join the discussion with your personal thoughts! Do you agree? Do you disagree? Let me know!