cherry valley forever
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
No title available
RMH
DEAR READER
Peter Solarz
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
No title available
Andulka
Claire Keane
★
Not today Justin
d e v o n
JVL
Today's Document
tumblr dot com
No title available
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Singapore
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@cinaflower
You’ve got to invest in the world, you’ve got to read, you’ve got to go to art galleries, you’ve got to find out the names of plants. You’ve got to start to love the world and know about the whole genius of the human race. We’re amazing people.
Vivienne Westwood (via purplebuddhaquotes)
They say soul mates lived across streets, went to the same schools, had friends in common possibly but don’t meet or click until it’s meant to be-meant to be? That’s mystical bullshit, right? Where did the notion of soul mates come from? If someone thought of it, surely it existed in some capacity somewhere with someone! Is that what romances were talking about? I thought I knew love many times but yet here we are and it’s so much better. I see us becoming “those” people that adore each other so much it annoys others, stop acting so in love, they’d say in their half-jealous, half-snittering smirks We’re sharing souls, looking for our other half? We weren’t whole enough alone? We were-are and will be no matter what happens-that doesn’t change the me and the I that is you Teaching the other to be whole, better? We fell in love with each other and all our flawed and glorious parts, so can it even get better? It’s so good, that I’m afraid I’m going to die soon, because surely no one can adore and want someone so much? Surely there isn’t someone as deserving of me as you? I feel that spiritual mambo jumbo your half makes me whole oneness bullshit with you and I almost resent you for it-it was my time to be me alone-my life, adventures, career to soar in, find my passions…figure out who the fuck I am without a man slowing me down I get weak in love, affections and delicious smitten frothing weaken me like a cardboard box in a mud puddle Suddenly I want to be June Cleaver, Mrs.Brady, Samantha from Bewitched, Martha Stewart-a Stepford wife Can I have it all this time? Can I make myself my most important project for once and be loved without losing myself? Can I negotiate who I want to be without giving up who I am? We all say yes, change our minds, go the extra mile for someone, compromise, for our loves So is it possible to do it without slowly giving away your power? You’ll stop saying exactly what you want bit by bit and start withering away…won’t you? Won’t I? You’ve seen more of me, the real me, than anyone else-the truthful weird parts that feel gritty and dark in me, the shitty sad parts and the silly goofy parts that make me blush and give a crooked bashful smile to you over and over again I watch you and think, this guy? So, this is who it’s going to be? And I’m thrilled to pieces despite the internal conflict I’ve never felt so loved, sexy, capable, intelligent, funny, adored, and cherished I feel you loving me in what you do and how you are with me constantly I see your sweet gooey middle, the one you tried to keep hidden with your hard shell You are kind, caring, and thoughtful in the way I’ve always been You know how to love me, because it’s how I love you, how I’ve loved everyone and everything You saw, philosophized, explored and lived the life you led so you could see the world over and know the girl you were looking for was right around the corner, in front of you no matter where you’ve been or what you thought about life and love it didn’t matter as much as the way I captured your heart I smiled at you, fell over laughing at your jokes, my crazy hair all over, my breath catching when you couldn’t keep your hands off me, my orgasmic giggles dotting the nights and days All the things that show me who you are and make me fall deeper in love with you, and I just shake my head reveling in the wonders Ive discovered with you This blissfully intriguing conundrum I face now is surprising, and we both wonder if we had seen each other when we were 15 in the hall of our high school or across a cafe table in Paris at 80, we’d be friends and lovers because surely there’d be no choice But I think that’s why we met now, whether it lasts for a year or the rest of our years, we had to get here You had to learn how much you’d want a girl like me, and I had to go through what I did to be her.
Put in your very best effort. Even if you don’t get exactly what you’re hoping for, the least you will get is the satisfaction knowing that you fought your best battle.
Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin (via thepowerwithin)
I don’t feel bad
That I know what I can do now, that I”m slowly figuring things out for myself. I know I’m surrounded by people who think I’m not moving fast enough, not doing enough, not trying hard enough. I know what I’m capable of, and I know that I’m petrified of being so sick again that I didn’t want to live. I am afraid of pushing my body and mind again, because I don’t want to be that girl in a dark cozy bed, day after day barely existing because I just CAN’T. Can’t get up, can’t get dressed, can’t work, can’t drive, can’t feel good, can’t stay awake, can’t stop hurting, can’t stop pooping, can’t get comfortable, can’t handle anything. I WON’T be that girl again, so I also don’t feel bad that I’m taking my time, slowly becoming what other would say was a productive responsible human being. I know what’s at stake and I know what it feels like to lose it all, mind and body. I’m too happy and healthy now to risk going back there again. I won’t apologize for my choices again. I do appreciate that I have a place to live and food on the table despite not being able to work very much, or being able to pull my weight like I once was. I worked full time and managed a houseful of people once, laundry, meals, holidays, nursed them, helped with projects, got them to dancing and football, gardened and made time for friends, traveled a little, went on dates with my ex and lived a very full busy life. Now I’m alone, it’s just me. I have no possessions, no one to raise or care for, a part time low paying job, and managing myself is all I can do. See what I can do, sleeping well, taking care of myself, having some fun, trying to find peace within myself despite all I’ve been through, it’s all about all I can handle. No one understands how difficult it is to just keep yourself alive sometimes when your brain and body threatens to destroy you. I’ve given up trying to make anyone understand my reality, but it’s made me realize that ultimately it’s all up to me. My world is in me, in my mind, and that’s all I need to know right now. I’m not sorry about that realization. I’m not sorry I’m me anymore, and I will never be sorry about that again.
Collect moments, not things. Love people, not material. Cherish memories, not possessions.
Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin | Instagram (via thepowerwithin)
Love and adventures are all that matter!
follow for daily posts
I see a sweetness, a soft light that plays on his face, a weakening of his hard stony shell that gets him through the days, I delight him, enthrall him, create joy where there was emptiness, I make his world brighter and he's the first man that truly made me feel that my existence is appreciated and cherished and I have been married for decades and loved many before, but you know magic when you feel it, I watch it as he watches me, feel it in his smile and eyes and through the tips of his fingers
Yes, starting over is scary, difficult, exhilarating and literally rebuilds who you truly are from the inside out
Incredibly beautiful!
We control the doorway to our minds. Negative thoughts may be present, but we choose whether or not they are able to enter and take root.
Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin (via thepowerwithin)
That girl is gone
After all these months you’re willing to talk, after all my crying and screaming, ranting and raving, pain and trauma, grief and recovery fell on deaf ears for over half a year
I cried in the night for a year waiting for you to listen, I cried into my pillow and into the long bubble baths I took, I cried into my writing, into my friends’ shoulders, I cried into cups of coffee, in the car while I drove to love songs that didn’t make sense anymore
You saw me cry and turned away, had nothing to say but insults, left me there to drown in my tears, I wanted to literally drown in my tears, I wanted to disappear from this earth because of the pain you brought me, that lived in me, in my desperation to be loved by you
You didn’t just break my heart, you didn’t just hurt some girl, you didn’t just screw up and self destruct, let your addictions, fucks ups and rage rule you
You took the most cheerful, sweet, innocent, optimistic soul and destroyed her
By trashing my faith in humanity, by proving to me that people can’t be trusted, believed, that some people are out to get you, even people you love with all your heart, you said you’d protect me, take care of me, but you didn’t say you’d save me from you
I believed in you, saw the best in you, knowing I loved you like no one ever had, my gift, an undying unwavering passion I have for life, a cheerful glee and mirth that I embrace the world I live in, you sucked it right out of me, slowly, insidiously, calculated, cold, you ruined me
Is it a coincidence that you’re ready to talk now that I’m truly happy again, accepting my flaws, tackling my fears finally going after being the person I always wanted to be? Are you not done destroying me? If you were capable of explanations, redemption, love, compassion, or kindnesses the expiration date on the place you had in my heart expired the night you closed the door so you didn’t have to listen to my sobbing.
It took me too long to realize how dangerous you were for me, how freely I gave you my love, and how many excuses and allowances I gave you in begging for your attention and affection
I see what real love is like now, for myself, when someone else is willing to give it, how mutual passion feels, wraps you up in this mystical space that transcends the days and time when we have to be immersed in reality
I found a love that doesn’t require me to give all of myself and a little more to make up for what another lacks, you can’t choose to be compassionate, kind, empathetic, generous, magnanimous, awed, intrigued, loving, it is part of who we are as humans, where did that part of you go, when did it die?
I have pity for you, what you lost, what you could have had, how I would’ve loved every flawed part of you for the rest of my life had you been able to do the same, but we weren’t meant to be, you were the end of my old life, the beginning of the new
I left you stripped bare with nothing, hanging on the tiny slivers of sanity, health, hope, scraping and clawing my way up from the bottom of a dark pit of despair, shedding who I was on the thorny branches that littered my way up to the light
It wasn’t you helping me up into the light, any mention, thought, word, idea, or essence of you threatened to push me head first into the inky well of pain again, and I shrugged it off and kept moving, finding the joy within, day after day, finding hope again in slivers, in smiles, in ecstasy and love again, and you were not there
You will never be there again. You will not be in my heart, you will be a blurb, a story, a vague ache, a joke, a lesson, a distant memory that is unreal as a strange twisted dream, a pivotal point on which my life changed for the better, when I left the old self destructive ignorant naive me down in hell as I crawled toward the bright glow of what gives me life
You will not have me again, you never deserved me, though I wanted you to, there will be a part of me that loves who I thought you were for the rest of my life, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, raw, sore, a wound, healing over, becoming a knotted piece of who I once was, that girl that was capable of letting herself be ruined by a man like you
That girl is gone
summer
Lovely, not sure where but the UK has cliffs like that
If we grow, evolve, expand we do it in stages, sometimes live several different lives being different kinds of people, immersed in different worlds and realities, and each time we break through our comfort level, through our fears and pain, we become stronger and more magnificent than we thought possible
Opening my eyes and mind Loving the joy and beauty I find Letting it start with being kind To myself first, then to the rest of you Finding my way out of the blue Is all this crazy chick wants to do
Love Bomb
There's a glint in your eyes, a mischievous twinkle, that tells me there's excitement in the adventure I am, curious, intrigued, the challenge of me, my quirky, clumsy, crazy joy that escapes like bubbles popping I see through you that I'm more than anyone you expected to find, I beckon with a beam like a lighthouse guiding you to shore, come to me, though be weary of the shore, I'm not easy to love, even harder to navigate The things I knew inside about myself, that I only half believed, were withered nearly dead seedlings you watered with your affection until I grew into this radiant effusive blooming bouquet on the edge of a truth that's bursting forth You found what makes me sing, the notes rise and fall, your fingertips sending oscillating waves of pleasure through me to my core, I crave it more than anything I've known and I don't know what I'd do without it, I throw myself into you, begging for it Each tiny moment, silly ridiculous joke, kind generous word, loving thoughtful gesture, mutual hysterical laugh, each knowing look that says I get you, I understand, I believe you, says you are it for me I see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice, feel it in your hands, on the tip of your tongue, sense it in the sweet exploration of your lips, feel it reverberate between us in some unspoken truth we can't fathom, from between our ears to between our legs This is rocket powered love, atoms bursting in an explosion of lusty, dirty, wanton love, take me, take me, take me, again This is the feeling every song was sung for, every poem written, every fairy tale ending, every romance where love conquers all and it was wrapped up into a nuclear explosion to be detonated on two lonely wandering cynical travelers who didn't see it coming The love bomb killed who we thought were, all the things we thought we knew, it blew our minds as it turned us into the best most glorious versions of of ourselves, opened up the world saturated in moments of bliss This unadulterated honest energy that radiates from the truth of our existence mirrored in each other's eyes has a reason and life led us to each other, pushed me into your arms so you could have the most extraordinary adventure of your life, exploring the unknown with me by your side I know I've given your life meaning you never knew you wanted, led you astray to a better place than you imagined, opened your mischievous eyes And you're the man who makes me feel like the most beautiful, sexy, brilliant creature that's ever been adored, and you can't imagine the pleasures that await us on our journey
“Mind Over Matter”
He's going to make that woman his world?
Point up, for it is not of Satan’s view, Though truly magic, I now come alive. The good in me, to what’s inside of you, I bow my head to which is pointed five. The candles burn, ignition to my blood, A wisp of air attracts what I’ll create. Emotions rush, an ever-flowing flood, But grounded shall I be, I must negate. No matter what I do, or where I go, It’s in my spirit where I find the key. For destiny’s not in my power, no, It’s simply made of what is meant to be. And as I burn to find what lies within, I chant away the evil and the sin.
Sonnet 54: What Is, © 2017 Sarah Marie Pardy (via sarahmariepardy)
I like this
