Chronicles of the pit

The writings of a perpetually angry progressive and ethical degenerate.

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[muppetsdaily]

THE MUPPET MOVIE (1979) dir. James Frawley

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

<3 I LOVE THE MUPPETS <3

We are so lucky to share a planet with these creachurs <3

[citizenofthepit]

Only on Tumblr can a woman calling herself "thefingerfuckingfemalefury" express genuine, wholesome love for the muppets

[citizenofthepit]

Let us all observe a moment of silence for Katie inevitably having to switch gears from "oh god Sam ran away with Lonnie my sister is gone oh god..." to "OH FUCK I HAVE TO SINGLEHANDEDLY STOP MOM AND DAD FROM CALLING THE COPS"

[citizenofthepit]

Invisimech Smut headcanons b/c why tf not

Visi was absolutely lying about being the "peg-er." She might be a little bit of a switch but she 100% subs for Robert.

Robert loves to tease her about this whenever he can ever since the first time they had sex

Robert was super vanilla before meeting Visi and it feels like he's barely keeping up with her freak most days (she thinks he's doing great)

Robert's weirdly good at giving oral and it's become the carrot on a stick he can use to get Visi to do literally anything he wants her to

Visi's a major masochist and generally loves it when Robert's rough with her but at the same time still wants to be praised

Visi loves being tied up to the point she's completely immobile, and Robert discovered as part of his time with Visi that he also really likes having her completely at his mercy

Visi will jump at any opportunity to get Robert off because in her mind he deserves every second of pleasure she gives him because of how good he is to her

Robert loves making Visi cum as many times as he can because he loves watching her brain unravel in real time (and also he likes making her feel good in general)

Robert's lost count of the amount of times Visi's described a kink or session idea to him and he's just gone "you want me to do what to you-?" (he always ends up doing it though because he knows she'll have the time of her life)

Visi loves to joke that she's corrupted Robert because despite starting off vanilla he actually really likes being a dom now and has actually surprised Visi with the ideas he's come up with a couple times

They have an entire system for making sure Beef doesn't witness any of the shit they get up to because they both agree it's just too weird

[citizenofthepit]

Any of y'all know why some genuinely intelligent people become the stupidest, most gullible people on earth the moment AI enters the picture?

[citizenofthepit]

Everyone has the friend group that would save the world if they had superpowers and the friend group that'd make you call the f*cking GDA

[citizenofthepit]

Being a progressive means accepting some people have kinks you find personally uncomfortable or distressing

Yes that includes misogyny kinks, yes that includes race play, yes that includes CNC, or any number of other things. As long as they're doing it safely, sanely, and consensually, it is not your goddamn business.

Stop condemning people who aren't hurting any one and *especially* stop erasing and/or infantilizing people who are on the receiving end of these kinks and healthily enjoying themselves. You're not an activist, you're just an asshole.

[just-tryina-live]

No one did it like AOS did it. Three disabled people on the team. Two Asian woman. One Latina woman. Two black men. (RIP Trip 😢) Men who talk about their feelings. War veteran on the team. Openly gay Latino character. Friends to lovers. Anti-AI. Established Father figure. Established Mother figure. Girlboss/Malewife. Another awesome Asian powerhouse at the end. Lovers to Enemies to Lovers again cycle. Cursed love. Time travel and space. We love our found family.

[citizenofthepit]

If this show came out today it would send every last one of those anti-woke lunatics into catatonic shock.

[citizenofthepit]

Kinds of People I strongly dislike vo.1 - Biphobes

Fyi, I use the word "bi" exclusively in this post for textual simplicity but just know that I really mean, in a general sense, anyone who experiences attraction to more than one gender, be that bisexuality, pansexuality, or any other identities I am not aware of.

Bit of a disclaimer, I am in fact a straight white guy and I'm aware that means I'm coming at this from an outside perspective, but I also really don't care, biphobes can go fuck themselves.

The amount of times I have seen instances of queer people, and in particular queer women, who experience attraction to both sexes face straight up bigotry from their fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community is absolutely fucking disgusting. I genuinely don't understand how the hell so many people can quite simply fail to understand that when someone says they're attracted to more than one gender that does in fact mean they are capable of being attracted to more than one gender. I mean seriously, what do these people think bi people mean when they say they identify the way they do? Do they think that bi people's attraction is purely theoretical?

Bi people who date members of the opposite sex are not "betraying" the LGBTQ+ community, they're being who they fucking are and if anything people who accuse them of such are the ones betraying their community.

Solidarity is a virtue, it's what built the LGBTQ+ rights movement and it's the only thing that can give it and movements like it a prayer of standing up against bigotry that seeks to keep them down. So either learn and internalize that truth or shut the actual fuck up.

[unstoppable-juggleknob]

nothing will ever be funnier than that bit in agents of shield where coulson says "get ready for a large file transfer" and then shoves an entire filing cabinet out of a 4th story window

[citizenofthepit]

This scene lives rent free in my head and will do so until I die

[citizenofthepit]

Imagine being Daniel Sousa and going from crushing on Peggy, to traveling across the country to get away from her and getting engaged to some random nurse, to that nurse realizing you're still in love with Peggy and breaking things off, to briefly having a thing with Peggy, to that ending too, and then randomly SOME PEOPLE FROM THE FUCKING FUTURE APPEAR TO SAVE YOUR LIFE and you get romantically adopted by some random half-asian woman who's powers are comparable to a GODDAMN EARTHQUAKE.

Oh also now you're traveling the stars with that same women when you lived your entire life up to that point predating the moon landing.

[dykes4vampires]

Pretty sure Taylor Swift wrote mine about percabeth

Like it just fits them so perfectly

[citizenofthepit]

GENUINELY THO I was thinking of doing a bit where I quote the song to drive the point home but for gods' sake- it would be faster to list the lines that don't work!

[lilislegacy]

Now the question is WHERE did percabeth do it? I'm pretty sure that Posidon or Athena would blast them if they did it in one of their cabins.

LOL. you’re like the 5th person to ask me about this. you guys are so silly and i love you

so, yes, athena would be furious if they did anything in her cabin. especially since athena is a virgin goddess, and annabeth, her pride and joy, having sex at all, especially with a son of poseidon, is probably not something she approves of. so that, along with the fact that annabeth’s cabin is always full of her siblings, i don’t think they’re stupid enough to ever try anything in there. like ever.

however, i don’t think poseidon gives a 💩 lol. in fact, in some odd way, it would probably make him proud. or at least amused. he’d probably rub it in athena’s face with a big grin on his face. “i am so much more kind and accepting than you that i let YOUR daughter lose her virginity in MY sacred cabin. and i didn’t even curse anyone. in fact, i sent godly good vibes in support. *hand gestures as if he were whispering* it went great, if you were wondering. you should take notes.” and athena just seething.

but yeah, annabeth has an invisibility hat. i bet after tartarus and their nightmares, she’s in there a lot anyway because they want to spend all their time together after, well, everything. plus, they’re senior counselors and it’s their last summer. they just saved the world again. everyone at camp adores them. so even if someone catches on, probably one of the athena kids, i highly doubt anyone would rat them out. i bet even chiron would turn a blind eye after everything they went through.

so yeah, percy’s cabin, probably. but there are also other places. the woods, the stables, etc. teenagers tend to find a way lol

[citizenofthepit]

On top of that we all know damn well Annabeth would have every single possible spot ranked and categorized in a 2-factor authentication locked folder on her computer. She'd factor in countless variables like comfortability, privacy, reachability, security, number of plausible reasons to be there aside from the obvious, all of it. Percy would figure out almost immediately that when she signals him to follow her she's already worked everything out and all he needs to do is trust the plan. She'd have coached him multiple times over on every allibi in her book and he'd have them all down to a tee.

Annabeth has this all worked out and don't you dare think otherwise.

[citizenofthepit]

We need more media like Sunstone

In a world where most people's references for BDSM is 50 shades of cult dynamics (yes I watched the film theory video), there is nothing kink needs more than representation of what BDSM actually is.

It's a woman who is the most assertive, no-fucks giving person you've ever seen putting on a collar and begging for pets.

It's a man shitting themselves when they hear the safeword only to find out their boyfriend just wanted them to readjust the ropework cause it was pressing on his stomach in an uncomfortable way.

It's a woman giving her wife a neck massage and profusely apologizing for "going too hard" while their wife keeps assuring them the strained neck was worth it and they did a great job.

It's real people, with real normal lives, having fun and doing everything they can to make it safe (or at least not unreasonably dangerous) for everyone involved.

That's what Sunstone is, and good god do we need more pieces of media like it.

[dearest-loveliest-elizabeth]

Oh!

[citizenofthepit]

Pack it in folks, we are never going to come up with a headcanon better than this one.

[clockworkbee]

EVERYBODY, SHUT UP

*cries with dry eyes and weeping heart*

[prongsiepotter]

THE BLUEPRINT

[citizenofthepit]

I will never get over the vibe that Annabeth gives off when she's so smitten with Percy that her brain starts to go numb.

It's f*ckin adorable.