[cloakandblender]

Eleven.

Don't underestimate the power of the female mind.

We all need to keep our strength up and our wits about us right now, so here's a blend of Eleven vital ingredients to fortify your mind.

Carrying an important message through vitamins A,B, C, D, E, and K

Ingredients:

String lights, hand painted vitamin letters, wig cap, honey mixed with food coloring, eyeshadow, kale, avocado, blueberries, banana, goji berries, hemp seeds, coconut milk, acai powder, chia seeds, matcha

Recipe:

1/4 avocado 

1 cup kale, torn with stems removed 

1 cup blueberries

1/2 banana

 1/3 cup dried goji berries (can be pre-soaked)

3 tbsp hemp nuts

1 cup coconut or almond milk (or blend of the two)

1/2 tbsp acai powder 

1 tsp matcha green tea powder

sprinkle of chia seeds

squeeze of lime

[cloakandblender]

A Good Defense

It's the (Night Of) the Golden Globes and it's chock full of goodness. Here's a blend to soothe itchy winter skin and help grant you immunity. Drink up to have a fighting chance this week.

Ingredients: Baby kale, rainbow chard, pineapple, beets, banana, flaxseed, almond milk, curly wig, torn cotton, eyeliner pencil, face paint, cling wrap, chopstick

Recipe:

1 handful baby kale

1 handful rainbow/swiss chard

1 cup chopped pineapple

1/2 cup chopped beets

1/2 banana

1 tbsp flaxseed

1 cup almond milk

[cloakandblender]

Cherry Lewis "This is the week that never ends... Yes it goes on and on my friends..." Here's a blend for feisty puppets & puppetmasters everywhere, inspired by one of my favorite duos-childhood icons Shari Lewis and Lambchop! Sweet enough for the kid in you, with a shot of (wheat)grass so you'll be grazing like the sheep star herself. We're almost to the weekend, so play along everyone! Ingredients: Cherries, baby kale, wheatgrass, banana, chia seeds, almond milk, red wig, Lambchop sock puppet, television personality blouse, dungarees, paper, Jane Iredale lip liner pencil, Jane Iredale liquid liner, Onomie concealer, Onomie highlighter, Sante eyebrow pencil, RMS blush and eyeshadow, BITE lipstick, faux eyelashes Recipe: -1 heaping cup frozen cherries -1/2 banana -2 handfuls baby kale -1/2 cup fresh wheatgrass or 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. wheatgrass powder -1/4 cup chia seeds -1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk

[cloakandblender]

CLEOPATCHRA A seasonal blend for feeling gourdgeous inside and out.

Ingredients:

Pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger, banana, baby spinach, honey, almond milk, Egyptian style beaded headpiece, wire hanger headpiece with gourd, black wig, white dress, metallic wrapping paper, "snake" gourd, all make-up products by @janeiredale

Recipe:

1/2 cup canned pure pumpkin

1/2 large banana (frozen)

1" piece ginger, peeled & chopped

1 large handful baby spinach

1 cup almond milk (unsweetened)

1 tbsp. honey*

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

*Ancient Egyptians believed in the healing powers of honey

This transformation features products by Jane Iredale, a cruelty-free make up company whose multi-functional products are also good for your skin. Products used for this look include the following:

*Smooth Affair facial primer and brightener *Glow Time Full Coverage Mineral BB cream in BB5 *Active Light Under-Eye Concealer in shade no. 3 *In Touch Cream Blush in Clarity *Eye pencil in Basic Black *Liquid Eyeliner in Black *Glamour Eye and Lip Palette eyeshadow in Magic *Pure Moist Lipstick in Lily (mixed with a touch of concealer) *Lip Pencil in Peach *24-Karat Gold Dust in Silver

[cloakandblender]

TRUMP DUMP If you're feeling like you need to unload and start fresh after last night's debate, this is the blend for you. GRAB these ingredients: Prunes, overripe fruits, carrots, Chinese broccoli, composted delights, castor oil, lemon, locker room socks, assorted wigs, Go Green organic face paint, fuzzy eyebrows, suit, tie, Bobby pins, American flag Recipe: -1/2 bag prunes -2 cups overripe fruits (bonus points if they're imported from Mexico) -2 carrots ( to help achieve that illustrious orange hue) -1 handful Chinese broccoli -whatever you can find in your neighbor's compost bin -2 tablespoons castor oil -1 sock, lifted from a locker room -1 lemon squeezed (for extra pucker)

[cloakandblender]

Urkale

Happy National Kale Day. Remember- nutrition (and family) matters. 

Ingredients:

Kale, banana, cucumber, goji berries, turmeric powder, almond milk, acid washed denim, suspenders, 90′s shirt, Jane Iredale eyeliner pencil, Sante eyebrow pencil, glasses, wig cap

Recipe:

-2 handfuls kale

- 1/2 cucumber, chopped

-1/2 banana

-1/4 cup goji berries (dried)

-1/4 tsp. turmeric powder

-1 cup unsweetened almond milk

[cloakandblender]

Berry Poppins With Chim Chim Cherries Happy Birthday to legend Julie Andrews. Here's a blend that will have you up and running in no time, no spoon full of sugar necessary. It's supercalifragilisticexpialidociously delish! Ingredients: Strawberries, raspberries, cherries, spinach, chia seeds, almond milk, hat with berry and flower adornment, wig, Jane Iredale eyeliner pencil, Sante all-natural eyebrow pencil, RMS eye polish, RMS blush, Bare Minerals foundation, Onomie concealer, Onomie highlighting cream, lipstick, 100% pure fruit pigmented mascara, overcoat, skirt, tights, boots, umbrella, white gloves, safety pins, scarf, masking tape Recipe: -2 large handfuls baby spinach -1 cup mixed berries of choice -1 cup cherries, pitted (frozen or fresh) -1 cup unsweetened almond milk -1/4 cup chia seeds

[cloakandblender]

The Bastart of Winterkale The Emmys are coming, Winter is coming..It's all coming, really. So start the season with a comeback and load up on your vitamins for your best defense. Ingredients: 

Kale, cucumber, celery, grapefruit, pineapple, lemon, faux fur, faux leather, belts, trash bags, masking tape, winter gloves, wig, eyeliner pencil, face paint, stuffed dire wolf, coconut flakes, pillow stuffing, aluminum foil, cardboard, honey, food coloring

Recipe:

1 handful baby kale

1/2 cucumber, chopped

1 celery stalk

1/2 grapefruit, squeezed

1/2 cup pineapple (chopped, fresh or frozen)

1 cup filtered water

1/2 lemon, squeezed

[cloakandblender]

BROCKY BELLBOA

"If I can change and you can change, everybody can change"

Ingredients:

Broccoli, banana, strawberry, red pepper, hemp protein powder, face paint,honey, cherry juice, shorts, "muscle" tee, masking tape, painters tape, wig, American flag, bell pepper boxing glove

Recipe:

1 cup broccoli, chopped

1/2 banana

4 or 5 strawberries, chopped

1/2 small red bell pepper, chopped

2 tablespoons hemp protein powder

1 cup water

**Pro Tip- Bruised fruit that's been knocked around still deserves a shot- simply cut off the bruised parts before blending. Roughed up fruit is perfect for smoothies. Sweeter flavor, too!

Filling, detoxifying, energizing, and protein packed - this smoothie will help you get through several rounds in the ring.

And remember:

It ain't blended til it's blended

[cloakandblender]

Peachachu Poke Mango Can you find the Pokemon??! You can? Then you're already winning this week. Here's a blend that pairs perfectly with the newest fitness craze. Packed with ever popular, seasonal ingredients that never get old (much like... Pokemon??) 

With beta carotene to help keep your eyes sharp for whatever you may be searching for.

Ingredients:

Peaches, mango, carrot, baby spinach, ginger, cucumber, macadamia nut milk, rain poncho, headband, foam, sharpie marker, face paint

Recipe:

1 handful baby spinach

1/2 cucumber

1 peach, chopped (pit removed)

1/2 cup mango, chopped

1 medium sized carrot, chopped

1" piece ginger, peeled and chopped

1 cup macadamia nut milk (or sub milk of your choice)

Feel free to take it on the go!

[cloakandblender]

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Blender Since the water's not safe this holiday weekend during #sharkweek , unhinge your Jaws and take a juicy bite out of life on land.

Complete with spirulina to evoke the ocean and pump you with vitamins to combat the elements.

Ingredients:

Beets, spinach, blueberry, spirulina, chia seeds, rainbow chard, almond milk, shark mask, mangled fruit, cherry juice, honey, berry jam, shiny shirt, duct tape, cardboard fin

Recipe:

1 cup blueberries

1 handful baby spinach

2 leaves rainbow chard, torn ( stems included)

1-2 small beets, chopped

1 tsp spirulina

1 tbsp. chia seeds

1 cup almond milk

[cloakandblender]

American Fruity Mena Suberri Temptation is everywhere this weekend. Blend some local fruits and take time to smell the roses. Here's a smoothie that's anything but ordinary.

Ingredients: Strawberries, raspberries, banana, rosewater, hemp milk, strawberry blonde wig, red lipstick, nude body suit, rose petals, promiscuous berries

Recipe:

1/2 cup strawberries, chopped

1/2 cup raspberries

1/2 banana

1/2 tsp rosewater

1 cup hemp milk

[cloakandblender]

VERSACHIA Take it from this ageless fashion Royal-These ingredients are always on trend. With aloe vera to help inflamed lips (or other parts) and chia to give your hair Donatella's golden luster. Bold flavors for healthy patterns. Ingredients: Aloe vera, kale, baby spinach, cucumber, pineapple, chia seeds, lime, blonde wig, wax candy lips, smudged eyeliner, bronzer, luxurious hotel robe Recipe: -1 handful kale -1 handful baby spinach -1/4 cup fresh aloe vera gel* -1/2 cucumber, chopped -1 cup pineapple, chopped -1/2 lime, squeezed -1/4 tablespoon chia seeds -1 cup water *remove gel from the inside of a aloe vera leaf. Do not include the skin of the plant.

[cloakandblender]

Orange is the New Orange:

Blood Orange Edition🔪🍊

Well lock me up- it's time to Nutflax and Chill with these killer babes from Orange is the New Black. Quit Russian around and binge in good health this weekend. A blend rich in vitamin C, calcium, iron, and fiber-- with a dash of Red. Ingredients: Blood orange, beets, raspberries, spinach, romaine, lime, flax seeds,red wig, red lip liner, red lipstick, chef's coat, duct tape, paper, bowl of oranges Recipe:

1 blood orange, peeled and chopped

1/2 cup beets, sliced

1 handful baby spinach

1 handful romaine

1/2 cup raspberries

1/2 lime, squeezed

1/4 cup flax seeds

💥🍊🔪

[cloakandblender]

M.V.Peach

Steph Curry

This melon, veggie, peach blend is a 3 pointer sensation to help you kick your week off right.

Free throw these ingredients into the blender and whip it up in under 24 seconds. Give it your best shot (a little dribble down your chin is ok)

Ingredients: Peach, cantaloupe, curry powder, spinach, ginger, mint, flax milk, wig cap, synthetic hair, eyeliner pencil, mouth guard, Warriors jersey, "pro"basketball net, painter's tape

Recipe:

1 handful baby spinach

1/2 peach, chopped

1 cup cantaloupe, chopped

1" piece of ginger, peeled and chopped

1 cup flax milk (or sub for a nut milk)

1 handful mint leaves

1/4 teaspoon curry powder

[cloakandblender]

Every Rosewater Has It's Thorn Is there anything more American than Bret Michaels? (Short answer: Yes and no.)

If like me you channeled your inner rockstar and consumed too much Poison this holiday weekend, here's a blend that will get you back on track.

Ingredients:

Rose water, strawberries, banana, vanilla extract, flax seeds, almond milk, infamous bandana/wig combo, smoldering eyeliner, bronzer, Americana straw, roses

Recipe:

1 cup strawberries

1/2 tsp. rose water

1/2 banana

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 teaspoon flax seeds

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

[cloakandblender]

Cher

(🍒)

If I Could Turn Back Lime.....

I would probably have to go with au naturale 80's Cher, but honestly she's still a queen until the end of time.

Happy 70th to the legendary goddess of pop

Ingredients:

Cherries, kale, dates, lime, almond milk, curly haired star wig, black eyeliner pencil, black eyebrow pencil, concealer stick, leather jacket, sequins fringe, nude bodysuit, black stockings, black belt, aluminum foil, safety pins, microphone, performance lights

Recipe:

1 handful kale, torn

1 cup fresh cherries, pitted (or use frozen cherries for an icier version)

1 1/2 limes, squeezed

2 Medjool dates, pitted and chopped

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

A blend to Believe in Life After...