me aged 10-23: there will never be a book I like more than Harry Potter. I love books and read all the time but Harry Potter is above anything. Reread HP everytime I am feeling down.
me aged 24-30: I lost the ability to read for pleasure. Just read to my kids and A LOT for work.
me at 31: *after a random tiktok video* Sirius and Remus were TOGETHER together?! Never even crossed my mind!!!
But... I get it.
But like... JKR didn't write it. Fanfic is just amateurs writing, right? I have enough of reading as is, I have to read for my job (I'm a translator).
But... They promised it's a HP experience. And I do have an eReader... It costs nothing to try it.
But... What the hell is ao3? What is smut??? Fluff??? HEA? MCD??? Cannon?? AU? Excuse me, is this English?!
The following then happend over 2 months time:
📖 Reading All the Young Dudes
OK, this is really very much like HP. I am getting hooked. This is ACTUALLY what happend, right? Like this is amazingly written. How is this not a real book? (What IS a real book and how do I not know this being a book translator?!) Are Sirius and Remus getting together in this one?
Oh my!
Actually, I've not been this obsessed with a book in like 10+ years.
Reading all through the night (with three kids, mind you, so a very stupid idea)
🎶Love this music!!! Have always loved rock, Queen, Beatles, Bowie, led Zeppelin… You name it. But this makes it better!!!
Finishing ATYD: OMG! OMG! I AM OBSESSED. They need to be together forever. I need to re-read it.
A SEX SCENE in Harry Potter?! EXCUSE YOU! Like… Didn't know I needed that. Thank you.
Of course they had teenage sex at that school. Yes to a giant snake killing people with its sight and no to some friendly petting? Yeah, sure, JKR! Be for real! Never thought about it like that before. And of course they had parties. And smoked (weed) and did drugs. Like… It's a boarding school for heaven's sake! this is much more realistic. Finally know what smut is and I am here for it.
I want a cigarette SO BAD right now (haven't smoked for YEARS)
googling specifics of gay sex because I never thought about it (and I live in a very conservative country) (and like I had QUESTIONS, excuse you, like can you just do butt stuff without prep?!)
finding 📖 explicit one-shots from ATYD
📖 Reading ATYD sirius's POV:
This is ALSO good. So... fanfics on the internet can just... be amazing, right? How has this existed for years and I did not know about it?? Sirius is obsessed LOL. He fell first and he fell harder, the poor boy.
My husband is SO MUCH like Remus. (personality-wise). Guess I know my type, lol.
These fanfics are written better than majority of books I've read. I'm utterly amazed.
📖 Reading Out of the Blue and Bootleg Tapes:
OK, I needed some healing. Happy for Grant and all. But I need wolfstar more.
📖 We could be heroes (finding out what a "fix-it fic" is)
Yes! Wolfstar endgame! A happy ending! Yes!!
Intrusive thoughts: Is ATYD wolfstar like… toxic?
Are they ever happy?
Don't go there, brain!!
Trying to heal with 📖Manacled, then DMATMOOBIL.
Like Dramione. But wolfstar is far superior.
Also have to note that Draco is amazing in bed.
Not a sentence I've ever thought I utter or think. Ever.
Finding 📖 Cadence Of Part-time Poets
sceptical.
How can muggle AU be good? Don't I like all this because of the magic?
Reading it, re-reading it.
Buying an e-cigarette (cause I have to DEAL ffuck's sake and they smoke in like every second scene and ecigarrete is the least of all evil)
Obsessing.
Cannot get enough.
Best. Thing. Ever. Written.
Somehow more magic than magic U.
DOES REGULUS LIKE JAMES?
Seeing the possibilities of Jegulus (is everyone gay in the end? Excuse me, Am I GAY at this point ?)
THE MUSIC OMG THE MUSIC IS MUSICING!!! I am in love with the music! How are Marauders not a band in cannon?! Like that's obviously what they were always supposed to be! Lottie, Simon, Tonya, Tomny… They ARE cannon for me lol. They were there and you cannot convince me otherwise.
Cannot read more, afraid I will lose this Cadence feeling. Just re-reading the best scenes over and over. Stalking motswolo's tumblr. Consuming all there is about Cadence out there. Trying to talk to people about it but noone reads fanfics here!
Can we like start a gofund me for them to get therapy??? I want to see them diagnosed, aware of their traumas and forever together.
Also, why is Remadora a thing? Thank god it wasn't in Cadence (yet) but sometimes i remember it exists and like… vomit internally. Gosh, I rly hate JKR. She just did it to discourage Wolfstar.
getting to read 📖 Black Mass Over Highway 90:
Very sceptical at first.
It's American… and Marauders are essentially English. Remus somewhere in Texas… of all places? Afraid this won't be my cup of tea... Cowboy Remus?! wtf
OMG.
OMG.
This scene basically porn… right? Why do I LOVE THIS?!
Remus is DADDY! Officer Moons!!! He can get it. Like omg. Cowboy Lupin FTW!!
THIS IS the SMUT, RIGHT?! Like do I even want to watch porn at this point? How am I - a cis female in a hetero relationship of 14 years with 3 kids - finding this SO HOT?!
📖 Reading Blends
Also very sceptical.
But... it's so sweet! Is this fluff? Am I discovering fluffy fics? Now, this is comfort reading! Coffe-shop AU? Like, this is where I want to die, my friends! This is so sweet, so incredibly sweet, and I DO NOT miss Voldy and his stupid war one bit, like to hell with him, he can order an Americano and Remus will decaf him at this point!
I am in LOVE!
📖 Reading Names (Blends sequel) because can you do anything else at this point?
Now this is... a whole other thing. It is fluffy, yes. But it goes deeper. And... wider somehow?
It's the first WIP I give a chance.
Cluster headaches are an AMAZING parallel to lycantrophy.
HOW exactly are people this talented just out there publishing fanfics?!
And this "slice of life" thing IS doing it for me. Like really.
📖 Reading Crimson Rivers
Is there anything else besides angst in this?
Wait, James likes... Regulus?!
discovering Jegulus -
wow. I am utterly amazed... cannot put this down at any point of the day. Reading while breastfeeding, reading all through the night. Reading all through the day. Learning how to read and braid my hair at the same time.
I keep thinking - why DO I love gay man/boys stories? How did it come to this? How is this FREE? How do I GIVE BACK to these AMAZING authors that are just doing incredible things for me? Like this is everything I've ever wanted from a book... and they're not even getting paid for this?!
📖 Reading a bunch of short fics inbetween (honorable mentions: Like Real People Do, That's the Art of Getting by, Led by Light of a Star Sweetly Gleaming, Pages of You - discovering Drarry, thinking Drarry is less angst because there's less homophobia in the 90s,
📖 Reading Only the Brave
OK, it's Jegulus, let's give it a chance...
OMG
OMG
OMG
I feel like ever since getting into this fandom, I'm just falling and falling and falling. Falling... In love.
This is so good, you guys. I love JEGULUS!
But as long as WOLFSTAR are together, I can deal (took them half a fic to get together, so please don't do anything stupid!)
I. CANNOT. STOP. READING. WOLFSTAR.
In every universe.
Wolfstar & fanfic taught me not to have any prejudice. And I also discovered that I was quite prejudiced without being aware of it!
I can read anything with those two... just don't break my heart and just let them be together.
Wolfstar made me read again and actually enjoy it. It's been several thousands of pages in a couple of months and I don't regret the lack of sleep…
They are soulmates. In every universe. I don't know what this fetish is called but I need them to be together, see them together, read them together. Love them both. Just need them to be happy.
I am completely amazed at the sheer power the internet has, that an online community has. This is my new obsession and I am utterly devoted to it. It taught me and gave me SO MUCH. I will forever be learning how to give anything back.
Becoming a pipe afficionade again (Quit Smoking Cigarettes)
I started using a pipe back in 2019 when I was in Gurugram, India. Its 4 days I haven't touched a cigarette at all, and mind you I was a chain smoker. I knew my blend smoking pipe will help me kick the butt in a curb. My favorite blends are MAC BARENS - Royal and golden which has a sweet cavendish lark chocolatey flavor for the former and the latter is more cocoa with raisin aromatics. Both are not available at my dealership - its on the way from Amsterdam so what do I smoke now?
I knew Don Juan made cigars, a well-reputed brand but I had low expections from their flake cut tobacco for pipe but its actually good. More on the harsher and mid mild with a raisin and almonds like aromatic. I am only crazy about these four: luxury watches, fast cars, scotch or single malts and smoking pipe. its a patient work of art in which you gradually gain experience.
So until now I am sticking with this blend while my dealership gets the Mac barens for me. After a long day at work and learning, it relaxes my nerves.
