The Only TRUE Carp

Going by Amadeus or Splatt online for the time being; it/its, he/him, ze/hir Art blog: @spookysplatt

[ocpolls]

Is your oc scared of the dark?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 6 days 3 hours

[dyke-eva-stratt]

you should be thinking about eva stratt right now also

[boccher]

ocean.com/fish

[elegant-paper-collection]

ocean.com/fish/careers

[flareboi]

trans woman ryland grace changing her name to grace grace because she couldnt think of any other names and its right there

[flareboi]

grace: i think i might be a woman

rocky: rocky has seen this on earth portable thinking machine. grace very brave. grace has name, question?

grace, not entirely paying attention: yeah man its grace you know that

rocky: grace grace??????? question????????

[flareboi]

rocky: is not customary to change first name, question?

grace: it is, but everyone calls me grace anyway so it's fine

rocky: grace is sure, question? grace could pick any name

grace: hmmm... worth a thought, i guess. got any ideas?

rocky: rocky 2

grace: no

[flareboi]

rocky: grace second prettiest woman in all erid

grace: aw :) wait whos first?

rocky: rocky

[clownvoyance]

Remember the redmargeverse. Why was that a thing

[greenpeggy]

Green Peggy

[magentadale]

Magenta Dale...!

[redbartsimpson]

Red Bart Simpson

[orangkel]

orange kel

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[emerald-green-kermit]

Emerald Green Kermit

[purpleringo]

Purple Ringo

[thelittlegreenbender]

Bite my Tiny Green Ass

[evil-communism-rainbows]

evil-communism-rainbows

[communism-rainbows]

sweet fuck my evil twin is here

[clownvoyance]

What the hell is happening

[purpleisdebeste]

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

[purpleisdebeste]

i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers

and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually

[purpleisdebeste]

okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty

and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling

but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥

[overnightshipping]

[captain-price-returns]

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[irate-iguana]

Yesterday night, I asked my parents to remind me to return The Terror (2018) to the video rental store. This morning I woke up to two — momentarily confusing and concerning — text notifications:

[clownvoyance]

The world is Evil and I cannot go see tomb quest. I will Die

[dragon-png]

nodding my head to show that i approve of all the shitty things this character has done because i'm a bad person

[patchoulism]

[saltinecrackerss]

[theodysseyofhomer]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[strinak]

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

[theodysseyofhomer]

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

[polyphemusthecylcops]

...

[theodysseyofhomer]

this is the only funny addition to this post

[moldfucker]

keep getting someone who selfships with moe from the simpsons on my fucking youtube and ive n3ver been more entranced

[beanstalk-guy]

Jon and Will having two different types of scary ass blue eyes will never not be funny to me

[molabuddy]

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

[molabuddy]

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

[totally-cis-offical]

@satan-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

@satan-offical

[bitten-and-girl-smitten]

@satan-offical

[duckydoesstuff]

@satan-offical

[satan-offical]

I've been ignoring these tags