Living With A Narcissistic Mother

Its not your fault Things may never work out You have to choose to get better You will be ok.

[conditional-lov3-blog]

I Am a Reflection of You

When I look in the mirror I do not see myself Not a youthful girl with red hair and sun spots A reflection of the woman that was supposed to be My mother My monster The monster is me now Not something I can hide from I hurt the people I'm supposed to love And you were supposed to love me

[actuallyamonster]

monster (for my narcissistic mother)

I’m a monster.

How could I be so cruel and heartless?

You did this to me.

A lifetime of dealing with you did this to me.

I imagine punching you, kicking you, breaking you.

I imagine stabbing you with needles. I imagine lighting things on fire.

I imagine trapping you under a blanket and screaming at you until I can finally make you understand.

It wouldn’t work.

You’ll never understand; you don’t want to.

I know it’s true, but sometimes I scream my feelings at you anyway, in hope that, maybe this time, it will click.

Maybe this time I’ll find the words that force you to see.

I’ve tried a lot of words over the years.

I guess a lot of them were hurtful, but only because I’m trying to show you my hurt.

I want so badly for you to understand the way I feel.

But I guess you only ever understood your own pain.

So I’m angry and violent and irrational.

I screech and scratch and shove and pull and twist.

There is shock and horror in your face, as if I didn’t learn all of this from you.

You taught me that making them fear you was how you show someone your love.

I don’t know why you’re surprised at how I turned out.

How could your daughter be anything but what you are?

I am a monster by birth and by necessity.

It was the only way I could have survived.

But I’m better than you.

I slay monsters, too.

And I am not exempt from my own sword.

I am a monster for you, and you alone.

(I know you like it when things are all about you)

When you die, I’ll be free.

This toxic bloodline stops with me.

I can’t help what I am, but I won’t poison anyone else.

I am thrilled to disappoint you.

So spare me the manipulative

bullshit.

[flyingfloatingfree]

Normal versus Narcissistic

“What you said/did really hurt me” Normal response.  “I’m so sorry, I would never want to hurt you. Please forgive me, it will never happen again” Then they do their best to make it up to you and never do it again.  Narcissistic response. “I was joking! Wow I always have to walk on egg shells around you. You always make everything so difficult and complicated! Normal people wouldn’t be upset about that and I never even said it anyway!” Then the abuse escalates, you start to notice their friends and family are distant with you. You have the constant feeling you are somehow a bad person.  <3

[surviving-narcissism101]

Things my narcissistic mother says

•You’re overly sensitive! • You have an over active imagination. I never said/did that! • you need to be on different medication •you are a reflection of me • you’re the one that’s too judgmental! • I do so much and no one cares! • you’re crazy! • you have no sense of humor • you are too easily offended • what will people think • why am I always the bad guy? • you’re always so difficult • I can’t say anything around you! • why can’t you be more like (*insert friend’s daughters name*) • no one is ever going to love you besides me • everyone is always against me! • you’ll regret treating me like this when I’m gone you know!

[celiaelise]

sometimes i’m like, “goshdang, why am i so bitter and angry?” but then i’m like, “…oh yeah…”

[maternalscars]

“Oh We’re Teasing You”

Sound familiar? It’s the sound of a mentally and emotionally abusive parent justifying their berating of you in front of others.

[akranick-author]

Being in an abusive situation is a trip.. When you don’t realize you’re being abused how you react around people is viewed as strange. Non abuse victims don’t flinch if someone gets too close. Non abuse victims don’t shy away from touch. If someone raises their voice non abused people don’t try to become part of the scenery. When someone raises their hand, not even to hit you just raises their hand, non abused people don’t cower away from the person. Abuse effects the person far long after we leave the situation. The effects worsen when we never knew we were being abused to begin with.

[abused-daughter]

Abusive parents are very good at manipulating.

They can make everyone think they’re loving parents.

They can make their kids believe that abuse is normal.

They can make you believe you owe them everything.

They can make themselves believe that they are right.

They can make you believe that it was your fault.

[conditional-lov3-blog]

So much for minimal contact...

You wouldn't think it would be possible to ground an adult but look at my parents go. All the advice I've been getting on dealing with a narcissistic mother has been saying to avoid her as much as possible. Well now I'm stuck at home all day, everyday for a week. So much for distancing myself. The worst part is she isn't even doing it herself, she's making my father do it and the she just sits around watching netflix while I have to clean the house and "contribute" to the family.