Wait....What?

Certified drug addict

[deathtripz]

[thebootydiaries]

An emotion: *pokes its head through the mountain of suppression I've buried it under*

Me, beating it with a stick: Back! Back!

[confessionsofajerseystoner]

When you were supposed to be at the bar by 10 it’s 10:22 you’re still an hour away no where near ready

[twitterlols]

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

it’s time to get….. nsfw

[toobertpoondert]

This post gives me anxiety

[sheepthief]

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

i absolutely hate this. have a terrible day

[wormplant]

i’ve only seen this in screenshots

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

seeing this comment on one of my posts is really and truly jarring to the core

[babydreamgirl-deactivated201902]

some man: damn what man hurt you?

me:

[kesus-deactivated20180911]

The only good thing reddit has ever produced https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/65788g/im_3_i_know_everything_ama/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=f48ba715

[maxofs2d]

[maxofs2d]

Act Two

[long-gone-silvers]

This is like “you messed with the wrong fandom” only 9000 times worse

[socialistexan]

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Just saw a velociraptor sucking dick on my dash and y'all better appreciate me not making all of you see it too

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

This is so sad

[b0ggyb1tch]

Where’s the fucking picture, op

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

You fucking asked for it

[par-vollen]

me clicking that link:

[hyumjim]

when I clicked that link I started breathing so fast and I still feel like I am under attack 

[yearofthesnitch]

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

[ree-duh]

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

[hashtagloveloses]

it’s this legendary horror post

[comesitbymyfire]

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

[jennamourey]

A Full Face of Rhinestones

[lovepsychothefirst]

#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies

[michaun]

[sprf23]

I love her so much

[plants4]

Me: loves to lick the spoon after stirring brownie batter, doesn’t care about Sal Monella, whoever that is

[zkac-deactivated20200610]

Salvadore Monella 2 hours later

[confessionsofajerseystoner]

Anxiety

Me- *can’t walk into Walmart to do grocery shopping because there’s so many people and they’re probably all staring*

Me- *walks into a sex shop and flops 8 feet of silicone penis onto the counter* “Can I try this on”

[sameoldsin]

me showing up at heaven ready to ask god what the fuck all of that was

[igglooaustralia]

BITCH! Ciara and Nicki’s “I’m Out” Mixed with Demi Lovato’s “Sorry not Sorry”.. this scalped me

[igglooaustralia]

Here’s the full version

[jadorexjaii]

This is amazing

[apriicot-boi]

[gaycism]

This is my fav thing of today lmao