ConfusedGiant

straight poly trying to figure out the world

[art-woonz]

Art By IG: @maryneart

Instagram: @artwoonz

[confusedgiant]

To no-one in particular I just think it's funny

[confusedgiant]

[classicfern]

Wait tho pls tell me non british people have also seen this advert bc it’s amazing and very important to me

[benenhaley]

Oh my loooord

[warriorblood1]

The Reviews™ are in

[squirrel-monkey]

What is that even advertising? I think it said a supermarket but that is nonsense. I love it. 

[stonedglasss]

I just wish I loved myself like I love you.

[pleasehearmedarling-deactivated]

Would you say something to me tonight? Please? Because I haven’t been able to keep the tears back today.

🖤 (via pleasehearmedarling)

[lonelydaydreamers]

Don’t you just hate it when your friends hang out without you….

[charleydriftwood]

[confusedgiant]

Is it ok to hate yourself?

Or at least parts of your self like the parts that are the hardest to change or the parts that hurt so much. Maybe just change them enough so it doesn't feel like this anymore. Maybe I'm just being lazy and trying to take the easy way out by wanting to just cut out the parts that don't work right. The parts that feel too painful to bear. I hate being to good guy. I hate being the doormat. I hate that I keep it all inside. I hate that the bad thoughts are coming back not enough that it scares me but enough to know that something has to change before it gets bad again. I hate when my mind is telling my heart to stop feeling cause once it gives in there is no return. No happiness. No hope. I hate that I can support so well but don't get it in return. Am I not worth it? Am I not worth the effort? Am I not worth the love and support that I try so hard to provide? I hate that I love so much. I hate that I have an insatiable hunger for intimacy, love, support, and comfort. Most of all I hate that for all things considered I am always last choice, last resort, last one standing to pick up the pieces day in and day out when everyone else has their turn on love and destruction. I hate that it's known that I'll still be standing here beaten down wanting to be loved. I hate that I love too much to hate anyone but myself. I want to be loved. I want to be wanted, desired, needed for something other than support. I want someone to love me as much as i I hate myself. Maybe then I the bad thoughts will stay away.

[confusedgiant]

I miss her

I miss her when I'm at work I miss her when she leaves I miss her from the other room I miss her when she's right next to me I cling to her as if she was my last breath drowning in a pool of my depression But she's gone She hides herself away physically and emotionally afraid to be hurt or hurt another she numbs herself to not feel anymore And I sit here wanting to snap her out of it Wanting to hold her in love and adoration, comfort and understanding, safety and security. But she's been gone Blind to what she means to me. What I've done for her. What I'll do for her. Now all I can do is wait and watch as she self-destructs I feel powerless I feel helpless I feel sadness I feel Alone

[moonlit-wonders]

Hannah speaking the truth 

[quick-nip]

(via Saturday Morning Cartoons: Baopu #15) by Yao Xiao

words to remember

[caseyharker]

[camdamage]

“Open, thirsty, I need to check in with my primary firsty”

[confusedgiant]

Tired of looking

I almost want to change my online dating profiles to sound like a poly infomercial (In announcer voice) Tired of having a series of unfulfilling relationships? Do you crush hard for multiple individuals simultaneously? Do you want a lifestyle based on honesty with multiple meaningful connections? Polyamoury may be for you! But seriously why is it so hard to find like minded people I know I'm stuck in satans butthole (aka Mississippi) but really how hard is it to find poly people.

[polyhorror]

Poly horror: When you’re in a relationship with a poly person for the first time, and just discovering that you, yourself are poly, but in spite of understanding polyamory on a logical level and feeling it on an emotional level, you’ve been in so many abusive and unhealthy mono relationships that you’re worried that you’ll never be able to be a good “functional” poly person because you have 0 self esteem and many deep-seated insecurities that lead to a lot of jealousy.

[polyhorror]

Poly horror: When a Fuckboy™ discovers the term ‘polyamory’ and thinks it’s a neat-o excuse to be a cheating slutbag.

[polyadvice]

Any advice for a married straight poly man new to non-monogamy my wife has no problems finding dates I on the other hand I can’t even get a conversation to last past the explanation of poly life. I try to get to the subject up front so there are no surprises and also I feel dishonest if I don’t right away. Am I rushing the subject or just not looking in the right direction?

If you take a random slice of the population in most places, the average woman is not going to be super excited about a guy who tries to pick her up by explaining that he’s already married. I haven’t been there to watch you try to find dates, but I’d guess it’s probably a combination of the two.

It’s a delicate balance to ‘come out’ as polyamorous to potential new partners, one you learn through trial-and-error, unfortunately. You gotta build enough chemistry to lay a foundation for that conversation, but you can’t wait too long, or it does feel dishonest. You also need to learn how to bring it up gently and casually, not like you’re unburdening a great secret or laying out all sorts of terms and arrangements right up front. 

And even if you explain polyamory at the exact right time in the best possible way, you’ll have way worse luck with women you meet at bars or coffee shops or whatever. Again, the average woman is not super into dating married men. Try dating avenues that let you select for, and be selected for, people who are already open to non-monogamy. I’ve found that online dating is best for this, as well as polyamorous meetups and real-life groups. Here’s my FAQ page about this.

Know also that it’s just harder for men to get dates with women than for women to get dates with men. It’s a sad reality of the dating economy that patriarchy has handed down to us. So try not to compare your dating successes with your wife. Don’t be in such a rush. Let go of a need for things to be ‘equal’ on this front. Invest in friendships or solo hobbies that mean you have something fun to do instead of dating. And just be patient!

[confusedgiant]

Depression sucks

I finally start having confidence in myself again and depression comes back full force. I'm excited to discover that I am poly but with my newfound identity comes new anxiety and doubt. What if I don't find what I'm looking for? What if I do and they are not open to living poly? What if my wife finds someone that she feels like being with more than me and leaves? Too many what ifs and no answers. I know most of them are blown out of proportion but the thoughts are still there. Just because you see the man behind the curtain doesn't mean what he shows you doesn't affect you anymoe