Im Curtailing My Blog Content

shitposts, mildly humorous, and deeply upsetting posts ahead

[blumineck]

Be yourself as best you can whenever you can.

[moniquill]

[shigure]

🥘 stillstainless following

full dishwasher kind of annoying actually. release me

🔲 tupperware follow

can we all agree that handwash onlys are attention seeking? you're using the same dish soap as the rest of us but you need a sponge bath because you're too good for a shower

🍳 cast-iron following

op some people will die if they're washed with soap at all. unlike certain plastic divas dishes that claim to be "top row only" like that makes a fucking difference.

🔲 tupperware follow

can you actually fuck off

🥣 countercandy mutuals

fav thing to hold

fruit

vegetables

keys

candy

soup

something else/not a bowl

Voting ended onFeb 20, 2024

☕ mug-shots follow

i love being on the top row like you are NOTTT using me for coffee LMAOO

🐾 dogbowl follow

dusty ass

🍴silverwarewolf following

all tucked in. in my drawer. with my polycule <3

#and these takeout chopsticks too i guess #ok

🥡 lunchb0x follow

Excited for summer break 😃 Can't wait to see what kinds of mold i'll collect this year

#ForgottenAgain #BackpackGang #LockerGang

🔁cast-iron following

anonymous asked: Why are you whining about how other dishes like to be washed when you're literally covered in spaghetti stains

tupperware answered: what if i killed myself

🥤 papercup mutuals

WASP IN ME

[eliyahu613]

this tweet. but for tumblr

[dashaibo]

And what, pray tell, is so wrong with that? Must a king lower himself to the vocabulary of insects? Must an academiac explain his reasoning to kindergartners? There is no shame in knowledge nor is there in verbosity. Quite the opposite, they are to be celebrated. But I guess this is the world we are forced to inhabit. This world... This planet, teeming with life and all its infinite possibilities. And you would dare dilute it, so that a simpleton's mind could comprehend it? I will not stand for this. No more shall a man be judged for his might, his ambition, his intellect. No more shall we look down on those who propose a mere thought experiment about owning a human pec9sdjv0 c9i2ewokhndvoi adsjvci uwqeowdsxujvnli ufdsiuljfcniu ofeidcvjpc9nUIODSuljvniuwqopisafjvp985erioewaudJHB9jrg8frjuv8ar9jvuw08rd9vujq35g89spdujigk[0e9ravjik0rvu9jq54w8yvh r8og;af9ukjgmoiaelgurj9g8zboifyhvlo8fivujawp89 OC:Ivjare0sd9oizl

[semicolonthefifth]

Please leave the mall, you're making a scene.

[dashaibo]

You won't... Keep me... from Hot Topic... forever...

[smokeydabear420422]

[bobisalive]

this google guy be tweakin’ fr

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[worklifegiggles]

"It's The Wrong ERA To Be A Manager"- He Thought...🤣😜

[invisiblebard]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the truth is the most discourse poisoned weirdos among us are not even on tumblr at all, they're walking around the physical world acting like normal people until their sleeper activation topic comes up.

when I was in undergrad I had this professor who spontaneously decided in the middle of a class on, as far as I could tell, a completely unrelated topic to go on a bizarre tirade about how human pregnancies are actually 10 months long and saying it's 9 months is a patriarchal attempt to minimise women's suffering. she very confidently justified this by explaining that there are four weeks in a month, so 40 weeks is 10 months.

when someone pointed out that a month (except February) is actually four weeks and two to three days, and that 40 weeks (280 days) is a lot closer to 9 months (275 days) than it is to 10 months (305 days), she told him to stop mansplaining.

then a girl pointed out that the actual length of a typical human pregnancy isn't even 40 weeks, it's 38. I think we all collectively blacked out after that

[probable-autist]

[forfawkssake]

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

[jonmoxleys]

sometimes it just ends up being something like

[onlyhereforthedrama]

ITS BACK

[dontleavemydreams-deactivated20]

lord 

[uhmgilinsky]

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

[forfawkssake]

Please stop reblogging this post

[myterribletwenties]

This post made my water break

[myterribletwenties]

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

[forfawkssake]

WHAT

[hotchstuff]

God, I love this accursed website.

[myterribletwenties]

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

[twomanyfandomshelp]

Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now

[insufferable-yapper]

Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)

[myterriblethirties]

Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol

[brokenteardrops]

Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)

[myterriblethirties]

It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

[valencians]

fantasy: the kingdom has been ruled by one family for 10,000 years

science fiction: a new species evolved in 30 years

[nattousan]

i'm in agony, SOMEbody please help me remember what the childhood book series was that centered around critters that looked like this:

IM IN HELL WHAT WAS IT

[hrrkikshoard]

Little Critter?

[nattousan]

THATS THE BITCH

[nattousan]

alright smart-aleks, what about THIS one huh?? the dude had a really cool shading technique where he just swirled (colored pencil?) around??

[cosmignon]

Parts :)

[nattousan]

YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL

[nattousan]

ok my partner wanted in on this, I have no idea what this is

[thecrabscycle]

I GOT YOU

[nattousan]

i'm never leaving this fucking site i stg i love you all.

OK

final one

for all the marbles,

this one doesn't have an illustration bc i think it was just a kids novel but i haven't been able to find ANYTHING about it on my occasional internet queries:

kids is staying with his (grandmother?) in the woods and she warns him not to look a fox in the eyes bc they're tricksy and will swap places with you. obviously that's the first thing the little boy does and gets body snatched by a fox who uhhhh proceeds to pig out with his new little boy human hands and the boy has to trick the fox into looking him in the eyes again to switch back...

thats all i got, it's an older book i wanna say from the 60's?? 70's?? kinda the same jist of "Little Rascal"

[dyketennant]

perhaps this?

[nattousan]

A DECADE OF SEARCHING THANK YOU @dyketennant IM ORDERING THIS IMMEDIATELY

[nattousan]

ok i lied i'm back bc this is fun and i get to share some of my most deeply cherished childhood books with you all

i cannot express how much these are from memory, that's how internalized these artists and writers have become, they're a part of me now

[cryptid-of-ohio]

The first one looks like The Spider and the Fly, though the poses are a bit different.

The second one is likely Stellaluna.

I’m not sure about the third one, I will keep searching.

[cryptid-of-ohio]

I think I found the third one, though I’m the least confident about this one. Is it Creature Tech?

Unfortunately it doesn’t have a praying mantis on the cover :(

[nattousan]

[byjove]

at least now we know why he has yet to return when Britain is in peril

[kitkatmoose]

We need a flick where King Arthur wakes in modern Jamaica and is very confused.

[byjove]

I think that would be so much funny. He wakes up on a remote beach in Jamaica and he only speaks/understands Brythonic and Medieval Latin. Locals assume he was a tourist who fell from a cruise ship or received a head injury and floated away from a resort. The authorities cannot match his description to any missing persons reports and his fingerprints and DNA produce no hits on INTERPOL. They suspect he may be Welsh or French because the language he speaks resembles Welsh or Breton but France and the UK both state he is not a citizen of their country. Stateless and deeply confused, he is taken in by the community near the beach where he was found, being cared for by a number of local families and doing odd jobs. He slowly learns English and adjusts to the contemporary world, uncertain if his belief that he is the legendary King Arthur was formed by whatever traumatic event caused him to end up Jamaica or if he is actually King Arthur and Prydain is in eminent peril. Mysterious letters from Morgan begin to reaffirm his belief he is King Arthur. He must choose between staying in Jamaica and continuing the happy life he has made for himself or finding a way to get back to Britain without any documentation.

[a-daks]

ancient king white boy stuns locals by ordering in perfect Jamaican Patois

[byjove]

He gets to Britain and everyone expects him to sound like a posh noble Englishman because that is the picture Malory painted but he prefers to speak Welsh and when he has to speak English, he speaks with a thick Jamaican accent.

[catgirlinachally2]

also the way he pulls britain out of said peril really pisses off the right wingers, at least in part because he recognises that he cannot do it alone and chooses those he trusts (his jamaican community) as his knights

[byjove]

Absolutely, Guinevere is the Jamaican nurse who took him in in this universe and many of his friends in the Jamaican community that took him in are analogous with/reincarnations of common characters from Arthurian mythology. Except for Merlin. Who is the original Merlin. Who is living a retiree lifestyle in The Bahamas for plot and wizard foresight reasons.

[byjove]

Unrelated side note, I love slipping in an occasional Prydain in place of Britain just to remind everyone King Arthur was not English. The landmass is Ynys Prydein to him. ☝️

[thememedaddy]

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you get a breath weapon like a dragon, and the options go from fire to things like gravel or bees

you have this breath weapon! (also you're a dragon)

are you happy with it?

yes!!!!!

a little

it's okay I guess

no.

NO.

result/other

Remaining time: 1 day 21 hours